Chandler Bongwater

previously cremebrulee

[robogrind]

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

[robogrind]

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

[hunklet]

people are like "no one wants to work anymore" when every job application is like upload your resume and cover letter. okay now manually type out your resume and cover letter in our text boxes. okay now answer these 10 riddles. okay now take a rorschach test. okay now upload a photo of your childhood bedroom and explain the relationship between its layout and the adult you are today. okay now show us your youtube watch history. okay now define the color "red." okay now walk into a patch of poison ivy and take a selfie of you holding up a paper saying "i <3 ivy." okay now wave your hands in the air if you just don't care. that one was a trick to cull the applicants who don't care. okay now choose a loved one to sacrifice. great! thank you for submitting your application we will not be calling you

[softcells]

i think i want a glass packer, it would give me an edge and add a lot of danger to my mundane life

[softcells]

dance too hard in the club and my dick flies out of my pant and shatters all over the floor

[bogfox]

Cinderella

[doublism]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[servicebunny]

It just shifted to spanking your puppy’s ass, to make them take that thick knot. Like the good little play thing they are.

[doublism]

i don't really think it's like that at all

[contemptible-scoundrel]

dearrrrr reddit. how was your day? Mine wasnt very good. I just cant stop killing and killing and killing and killing. every man who beheld my terrible form was struck dead with fear. am I the asshole?

[7777777awawawa7777777]

yarr i lost all me treasure fuck me salty sea dog life im gonna walk me own plank

[chainmail-butch]

Hi, its me. The warmest creature in the world. I love you. Im the warmest creature in the world and I love you so much and I need to be in your lap right now. Yes, I know about the heat wave. That's okay though because I was already the warmest creature in the world so I don't mind. I love you and you need to let me sleep in your lap right now. I'm soooo warm and I love you sooo much. If you say no you'll be saying no to a thing that love you. Let me sleep in your lap. When I fall asleep I get warmer. I love you

[triangleguy]

[breakbeatbun]

i'm really glad 6 isnt afraid of 7 anymore and you could all stand to be more supportive of their relationship

[wordfather]

you're just mad because im annoying you and getting on your nerves on purpose

[headspace-hotel]

plant based? as far as I'm concerned, all plants are based

[pussyinhalerr-deactivated202403]

If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream

[papayajuan2019]

midwife? don't say that. a wife could never be that.

[roseworth]

i don’t want to be angry anymore i’m never going to hate again unless someone says something really stupid or if i see something i don’t like at all or maybe just whenever i feel like it

[butch--dan]

once you start saying yippee you can never go back

[warriorprincesstramp]

you're so vain you probably think this vaguepost is about you

[diamondringsandgutterbones]

"do it scared" "do it alone" "do it bored" what about MY strategy. do it later