SpontaneousTat🍃

writer. Mind spill-outs https://spontaneoustat.substack.com

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Mostimes when happiness comes around it does in glimpses not full on experiences and I must say; it's quite annoying!!!

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Sometimes I feel the need to vomit everything out of my body, the things I know inclusive

Like I'd just puke everything in my mind out then pick through to find what I want to keep then discard the rest

~Spontaneous Tat.

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I used to tell myself, ‘Maybe they’re going through something.’ But then I realized that I was too, and I never treated anyone that way.

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We're damaged people seeking healing from other damaged people 😪

How does the broken fix the broken?

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I've searched every timeline for which I didn't end up breaking your heart

but in every TL I did the thing I've been avoiding to.

i can't stop wanting to be alone, as tho I can't be safer anywhere else than my solitude.

I'm trying to tell myself to give it a chance

it's gnawing at my mind constantly.

I'm in a safe place but I'm far from feeling safe

[channelinggreen]

"I'd like you for myself

You don't know that you're the perfect secret I can't tell"

"I wish that I could keep you in my pocket for myself"

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The world within her exploded into nothing, now she's just a mirror collecting reflections that aren't hers, just to make herself whole again.

But she can never truly be herself again with all the reflection gathered. 🥀

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I'm so numb rn. I can't even feel my heart beat no more😶

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"You're so weird!!!, why would you talk to yourself?" Godforbid a girl talks to the only person that gets her.

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"You're so weird!0!, why would you talk to yourself?" Godforbid a girl talks to the only person that gets her.

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Those people who would belittle your effort/level cause they feel when they were at that level it was easier so it should be easy for you and you shouldn't flinch or complain..

Me: Logically speaking my conclusion is, Its fair enough if we round up all those people and set them on fire with our tiki torches

[channelinggreen]

One of the Things I've learnt and trying to internalize is you can't give what you don't completely have. You're a cup,fill it by loving yourself.

Fill it to the brim till it overflows then give from the overflow. Don't distribute when your cup is half empty cause you'll run out completely, it'll drain and leave you deserted.

Touching the cup means tiping it over= disconnecting from the source: when you tip over your cup to give, you can't pour into it at the same time.

~you can't pour into a tiped over cup

                                                              Tat🍃

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Won't let myself be sad over things I can't control.

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"As much as there's nothing going on here..." coming from someone you've open your heart to, you've let into your world and mind (places you hold so dearly). It dawns on you that its nothing to them, how do you respond to that? Your heart breaks in the littlest ways...you're hurt but you can't say it cause you let your guard down in the first place. All you do is absorb and drift off.

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When I'm older, I'll read more, write more

Take weird photos of stuff, I'll tune down my social life, go out more often, no parties😌,have 'me time' more often, think about stuffs, drink coffee, work quietly, have stress tantrums, drink less (maybe),eat more🙃,talk more, care-less about things..

Work on my depression, fix that

"Yeah just be yourself", I'll just be me, love myself more.. see myself more, care about me😌feel my own beat.. fill empty places

I'll just not give up, i know i can but i wont😌