A haven for the chaos, or a haven from.tje chaos? Call me Jess, and I'll probably change it. This is a SFT blog which will just be filled with my ramblings, thoughts on whatever. a niche card game I enjoy, books, touchstarved thoughts, and the rare video game I play. 23 transgirl panromantic ???sexual
#cards for Chaotic, a TCG that only lasted 3 years before a lawsuit (I'll get into it when I get into it)
#books for books, and also if it's a manga it'll be #manga. Spoilers for anything in this tag cause if I wanna talk about it OMG IM TALKIKG ABOUT IT
#DND for dnd musings, either shenanigans from a campaign I'm in or from a campaign I DM, based around the world of Disney Movies.
#video games for, just that. Mostly franchises I enjoy but also rarely the ones I play too. A mix of deep analysis and lore dumping, and random nonsense I find funny.
friends say hurtful things, whether it's out of jealousy, trying to be funny, etc. I don't believe it usually means they're an irredeemable person who you need to cut off. I just think we should be mindful of how snarkiness can impact someone's confidence and likelihood to keep pursuing their interests
being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit
Tiger found caged in abandoned home gets second chance at wildlife sanctuary: ‘He seems to be so happy’
The estimated 350-pound tiger was transported to the facility, an affiliate of the Humane Society of the United States, on Wednesday afternoon, and is settling in well, Almrud said. There, he will have the chance to roam in enclosures of up to three acres.
Almrud, who estimates him to be about 2 years old, described the moment he first walked onto the grass at the sanctuary as remarkable.
“It was just amazing to see him walk out on grass and to see him explore and have that freedom of movement,” she said. “It was just such a reward and fulfilling to us.”
Now, he spends his days rolling around the grass in glee, Almrud said.
“He comes right up to the fence every time a staff member is present,” she said. “He seems very amenable to our presence.”
The tiger is eating well – a combination of chicken, humanely raised non-processed beef and whole prey complete with organs and bones. It appears that he was being fed chicken, which is what owners of exotic cats often feed them, but chicken alone does not provide the complete nutrition they need to thrive, Almrud said.
In addition, caregivers are tasked with keeping the tiger mentally stimulated by creating “pretend hunting” games and rotating him through different areas so he has access to new smells and environments to explore.
“He seems to happy and content,” Almrud said. “Our staff is just falling in love with him.”
Celine blew out a sigh of relief after opening the box and getting a look at what she’d gotten herself into. From the franticness of Bobby’s call— who had evidently received an equally frantic call from the girls —she had expected Byeoul the teddy bear to be shredded beyond recognition.
But no, she’d know that furry face anywhere as it stared up at her from the box; sans one eye.
“Hello Byeoul,” she murmured as she picked him up to get a better look. Besides the missing eye button and the numerous cuts across his body, he was also short a leg and undoubtedly a bit of stuffing.
“That demon bird really did a number on you, huh?” Celine stated, gently pulling the detached leg from the box and carrying her armful of fur over to her little work table and pulling out her sewing kit. After raising a child prone to climbing trees and crawling through bushes— and dragging toys like Byeoul along with her —Celine had quickly grown adept to using a needle to extend the life of clothes and stuffed animals alike. It’d been a while since she’d had any need to use it; the last time had been fixing the seam of one of Rumi’s favorite hoodie, right before the girls debuted.
“I think I might still have some stuffing left over form the last time I had you under the needle,” she chuckled as she dug through her supplies. She lifted a tray on one side of her kit to check the compartment underneath, letting out a quiet ‘aha’ as she found the stuffing she was looking for.
She replaced the tray, only to pause as her eye got caught on what was in it. The tray was full of embroidery floss, still as neatly bundled together as when a young Rumi had given them to her as a gift. Until now she had never had reason to use them— sewing was for fixing things, not something she did recreationally —but as she looked at the variety of colors, Celine felt the beginnings of an idea.
It’d take more than just plain stitches to really work, she mused as she eyed Byeoul’s ‘wounds’. It would be more like embroidery, I think. I’ve never done that before.
“Would she even like the idea?” Celine asked Byeoul, lifting him up by the shoulder, “Would you?”
Byeoul’s lone eye met hers silently before slowly falling forward in what could generously be considered a nod.
“Heh. Alright then,” Celine decided with a slow smile, “Worst case scenario, I just undo it later.”
Laying him back down on the table, Celine picked up a thing of floss— do these bundle-thingys have a name? she wondered —and got to work.
=/=/=
“Oh, Rumi~!” Bobby called as he strolled into HUNTR/X’s penthouse, “Guess what I got~”
Rumi’s head— along with Mira and Zoey’s, as Bobby expected —popped up from the couch with hopeful eyes, followed by a gasp as she clocked the box held in his hands.
“Byeoul?!”
At his nod, the trio leap up from the couch, swarming him as he placed the box onto the counter.
“Yup! Arrived downstairs just as I was walking in,” he explained, holding out a safety knife and stepping back once Rumi gingerly but eagerly took it.
It felt like the room itself was holding its breath as the singer carefully sliced through the tape; pulling the flaps back with a small smile as she saw Celine had gone the extra mile to further wrap the contents of the box with a trashbag as waterproofing. She’d even taped the top of the bag shut with another piece of tape; all to make sure her favorite teddy bear arrived home unscathed.
Poking a hole with the safety knife, Rumi tore it wider, grinning at the first sight of brown fur poking through-
Only to pause as she got a better look.
Gazing down to what she would bet to be Byeoul’s chest, Rumi was surprised to see a pale streak dancing across her bear’s fur. For a moment, she thought Celine had further protected the bear by adding torn bits of paper to the bag for cushioning; but no, this was something different.
Tearing the hole so wide it almost tore the bag completely in two, Rumi carefully pulled her teddy bear out of the box, eliciting gasps from everyone as the bear came fully into view.
Where before Byeoul had been a simple light brown teddy bear, he had since been transformed into something new. Something more. All across his body— far more than than the number of lacerations he’d left with —were embroidered lines that zigged and zagged in every direction. The core color was white, but a closer look revealed seemingly random lines of every color of the rainbow, giving a light impression of the lines- of the patterns changing colors.
The missing black button eye had been replaced one that shone in a metallic gold. The end of one arm now had little felt nubs that brought to one’s mind of claws.
And on his chest, where the biggest of the tears used to be, was a little heart, stitched back together.
What once was a normal teddy bear, now looked more like a demon. Looked more like-
“Rumi~” Zoey whined wetly through a quivering smile, “He looks like you!”
Rumi whined an agreement before she pulled Byeoul in for a warm hug, burying her face in his fur and breathing in his familiar scent.
She caught a whiff of Celine’s favorite flowers, and broke out sobbing; her girls and Bobby quickly following suite.
=/=/=
Celine sat back on her heels with a sigh as she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket. Pulling off a dirt smeared glove, she pulled the device out and swiped it open. Her notifications told her she had a text from Rumi; the message preview reading, [I love him! Thank you so much!] along with an image too small for her to see.
Clicking on it, Celine felt a warm smile grow on her face.
It was a picture of Rumi, her grin broad and bright and genuine in spite of the tear streaks on her face, Byeoul clutched in a hug right beneath her chin, his new be-clawed arm raised in a wave.
Kicking aside the voice in her head that hissed “you could have made her smile like that sooner had you done better”, Celine replied to the message with a rainbow heart, saved the message to her Rumi album, and slipped her phone back into her pocket, pleased at a job well done.
Dragging her gardening glove back on, she made a mental note to pick up some more sewing supplies the next time she left the estate.
Just in case any other plushies were in need of repair someday.
we've definitely posted about this before but if i see one more person act like the only forms of childhood trauma that exist are abuse from family or sexual assault i will actually start crying and it will be so so so loud everyone will hear it from every corner of the earth
THE SCHOOL SYSTEM !!! PEER ABUSE !!!!! ISOLATION !!!!!!!! RACISM !!! SEXISM !!!!!! MEDICAL ABUSE !!!!!! NONCONSENSUAL SURGERY !!!! POVERTY !!!! SO MUCH MORE !!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
edit: i made this in a high school enduced rage and didnt expect it to blow up like this ?
anyway i love trans people i love intersex people i love people with personality disorsers i love aspec people okkk
i think aeri would really internalize the idea of being the oldest sibling a lot. like she’s older than jihae and hani by 2 hours but to her those 2 hours may as well be 2 years because they are still her Little Sisters as far as she is concerned.
for the most part that means just being there for all of them, and putting bandaids on cuts whenever their parents aren’t in the immediate vicinity (also, she carries bandaids on her at all times) and holding them when they cry and threatening their bullies and making sure all of her siblings feel safe and strong and cool as much as she can.
but i think the side effect of that is that she barely focuses on her own needs and desires and feelings because she wants to make sure her siblings are doing okay. so she doesn’t confide in them as much (she does lean on her parents whenever she’s feeling sad and insecure about her braces and acne and weight and body and the boy who just broke her heart again and the girl who stood her up) and will endure a lot of discomfort and stress for them to the extent that only her parents stepping in to stop her from doing anything else to cause more of it can stop it, and her siblings don’t really understand that.
jihae loves her but sees her as a rival to a certain extent (why should aeri be the leader when jihae is smarter?) and hani leans on her when her insecurities get bad and taeyong idolizes her and miyeong thinks of her as the coolest person alive but they don’t see the toll her love and support takes on her sometimes
