Just Random Thoughts

[chaoticblueberrypie]

OSHA is the reason that natural selection doesn’t work anymore

[chaoticblueberrypie]

If you see someone stealing from a corporation and you snitch, you’re the bad person

[chaoticblueberrypie]

The purge would be a great time for planned parenthood in the places it’s become illegal

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Self care is gender neutral. Let your boyfriends get pedicures.

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Job: treats me badly

Me: “if you don’t change I’m gonna leave*

Job: doesn’t change

Me: leaves

Job:

[chaoticblueberrypie]

A gryphon but it’s a hummingbird mouse

[chaoticblueberrypie]

[chaoticblueberrypie]

*Sticks my foot outside the blanket*

“Alright demons come eat the parts of me that don’t matter... so I guess just swallow me whole”

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Goes to flower shop dressed as a plague doctor

“Hmm, yes, do you by chance have any... *looks around nervously* scents that cover up the smell of death? Asking for a friend”

[chaoticblueberrypie]

The real reason I have a cat is to protect me from ghosts and evil spirits

[chaoticblueberrypie]

If you don’t love me at my pineapple pizza, then you don’t deserve me at my I made a whole lot of cookies and I’m willing to share

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Left my frined asleep on the bed, n checked on him before I left, now he’s on the floor, left him there too 😂

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Motorcycle more like botormycle

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Me, an introvert when someone talks to me: *messages my extrovert friend in how to speak to a human being*

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Wait a second, if abortion and masturbation are murder.... then does that mean a girl getting her period is murder?????

[chaoticblueberrypie]

Me: “I’m getting better with my social anxiety”

*a new person walks into my work area*

Me: *cowers in the corner tearing up until they leave*

Me, in tears: “so much better”

[chaoticblueberrypie]

I’m a sad little opossum, I’m diseased