ChaoticNClumsy

Hi, it's me. I am the problem, it's me. ( You previously knew me as MishReads maybe)

[chaoticnclumsy]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64618000

Remember when I said I wanted to re write the ending of chain of thorns as a fic and add (way too much) angst? Well the first chapter is here.

I am mostly writing this to give Matthew's character more depth and an important role in the killing belial drama, and to serve more parabatai angst between James and Matthew and growth in the process. So if anyone is interested, the link is above.

[amrubrum]

Say what you will about Jocelyn but that woman deserves all the flowers and grace in the world !! Rereading CoB has made me realize just how much she actually did/went through.

Not only was she able to secretly plan an entire uprising against her own iconoclastic husband with hundreds of downworlders, found time to enlist the help of a powerful warlock to create a contingency spell that she could use for the future (that actually worked!), but she was also able to live through the pain of so much betrayal, of losing everything she's ever loved and known, her parents, her childhood home, her literal CHILD, stole the cup away and fled from idris with absolutely nothing except for some family heirlooms to sell and a plan to start a new life from SCRATCH all while pregnant !! with Clary !! and she managed to hide her family from Valentine for 15 YEARS all while giving her daughter a happy, normal life, yet constantly keeping in touch with the shadow world

Not to mention learning the harsh truth about her son and how he's not only alive, but turned into a MONSTER confirming all the fear and guilt she always beat herself up for, all the sick experiments Valentine did to two innocent children in a COMA

Oh and let's not forget how she cradled her son as he died, having to bear the burden of knowing that when his eyes turned green, she knew he would have been an amazing, incredible man she would have been proud of if it wasn't for the demon blood that her husband poisoned his soul with, and that she would never have the chance of seeing again.

[amrubrum]

Say what you will about Jocelyn but that woman deserves all the flowers and grace in the world !! Rereading CoB has made me realize just how much she actually did/went through.

Not only was she able to secretly plan an entire uprising against her own iconoclastic husband with hundreds of downworlders, found time to enlist the help of a powerful warlock to create a contingency spell that she could use for the future (that actually worked!), but she was also able to live through the pain of so much betrayal, of losing everything she's ever loved and known, her parents, her childhood home, her literal CHILD, stole the cup away and fled from idris with absolutely nothing except for some family heirlooms to sell and a plan to start a new life from SCRATCH all while pregnant !! with Clary !! and she managed to hide her family from Valentine for 15 YEARS all while giving her daughter a happy, normal life, yet constantly keeping in touch with the shadow world

Not to mention learning the harsh truth about her son and how he's not only alive, but turned into a MONSTER confirming all the fear and guilt she always beat herself up for, all the sick experiments Valentine did to two innocent children in a COMA

Oh and let's not forget how she cradled her son as he died, having to bear the burden of knowing that when his eyes turned green, she knew he would have been an amazing, incredible man she would have been proud of if it wasn't for the demon blood that her husband poisoned his soul with, and that she would never have the chance of seeing again.

[slidewhistlebj]

The biggest issue in the pitt season two is the writers killed their own momentum at every turn and then acted confused when it didn’t work for people (how could it)

Trinity’s a new R2, drowning in work and seeing a new attending come in who she doesn’t like on the same day as Frank’s return to the ER. She’s stressed and overloaded and her position is being threatened and her tone all season is…she’s sleepy. Trinity is tired. Instead of her fighting for her place in the ER like we saw in season one, metaphorically elbowing people as a way of reasserting herself, she sits at a desk and charts. For 75% of the season. It doesn’t go anywhere, nothing happens with it (she makes a mistake and it’s caught and the lecture about it is so mild she doesn’t even stand up). Trinity spends a season designed to push her buttons doing nothing but talk about the characters around her

Robby’s planned a suicide trip that from the opening of the season is already clearly a bad idea. But because of the format of the show, instead of it being a sudden announcement or a reason to talk to him, everyone spends the season wishing him well….because they’ve known about it for weeks. There’s nothing left to discuss. And the audience knows Robby’s not killing himself - it’s an empty threat - so every Robby scene goes the same way: you’re heading out? Ah man that’s so out of character, well have fun and see you later (Robby face of ‘there won’t be a later’). By the time Robby actually said he’s suicidal I rolled my eyes because it had been textually overplayed for thirteen episodes. Robby started at the end of his character arc for the season and was given massive amounts of screentime like he was going to progress somewhere (nope)

Frank is back in the ER he used to thrive in, returning with who knows how many rumors stacked against him and a checklist of people he knows he’s wronged. It’s emotional and tense and such a good premise for real character exploration, and then the season conspires not give him any space for emotional catharsis. Louie’s death was the biggest fumble I’ve seen in modern TV in a long time for both the character and his impact on the show. It was rushed and verbally sad but tonally nothing. Frank works the hotdog case afterwards, Dennis doesn’t even know about it, everyone’s repressing so hard that no one does anything. Instead of a private moment between Frank and Louie with could-have-beens and grey areas about who’s still in Louie (and Frank’s) life after addiction - we got a bunch of characters standing in a room (I though the ER was packed) 90% of them not speaking (then why are they here) as Robby reveals omnipotent Louie knowledge in a monologue (that’s not impactful). And then the season moves on and we get more time from Trinity and Robby doubting Franks recovery than Frank himself discussing it. Frank’s recovery isn’t about him, so he spends the season waiting to impact other people

Samira’s arc was a mess from top to bottom and that fact that the writing did that to her and then the editing doubled down on it is disappointing and exhausting to the nth degree. She should have been a shining star of the season, pushing and pulling with Frank on various cases to keep the energy up when other plot drivers had to do something else. Instead she was shoved into ‘lecture’ patients to learn medical lessons that she’d already know, had her position in the ER stolen by Dennis because her boss is straight up racist, and didn’t get to interact with anyone with the authority an R4 should have (and then they kicked her off. Because WOC aren’t allowed to argue with Robby and stay on the show 😐)

Add onto all of these character choices where they’re positioned to stand still until acted on (paralyzing the show for episodes at a time), the environment was also changed in a way that’s a negative for any building any impact or momentum.

The removal of Gloria means that Robby becomes the ER rule guy to everyone (including Baran) - he’s the enforcer and the victim. There’s nothing for Robby to narratively push against because he’s the one defending the system.

The choice to stop shooting from Robby’s POV gave the camera too much freedom and instead of getting to explore characters in more personally engaging situations, we completely lost any sense of tension and movement in favor of lingering conversations (the Annie conversation between Robby and Trinity should have been a third of the length at least).

The complete avoidance of a central conflict is the worst of the bunch though. First it was going to be the computers going down and that was going to lead to drama (patients getting lost in the gaps, missing medication being blamed on Frank, doctors on top of each other because they have to interact to share information). Then it was going to be the waterpark patients coming in to swamp the ER. Then it was going to be how do they do hand off when the ER is so overcapacity and still drowning with patients

And then they didn’t do any of it. Victoria missed something with a patient but she’s a med student. Nothing went wrong with medication or missing patients, they just kept track of it. They got some waterpark patients but there was nothing distinguishing them from the other people already in the ER or showing the system being filled past capacity so that trickled out into nothing. Hand off was just…completed.

I’m shocked by how many examples of killed momentum I have and it devastated character impact for the whole season (which reduces the scale of the characters).

The middle of the season felt like it was spinning its wheels, keeping people separate so they could have one formative conversation 2/3rds of the way through the season and have an arc by the finale. Characters were paralyzed, didn’t emote, emoted internally, or just never found out about things to keep them from reacting in ways that would genuinely shake up dynamics. It’s disappointing and exhausting to see so many choices sabotaging characters then recognize that they took screentime from WOC for white male characters THAT WEREN’T EVEN BEING UTILIZED

[chaoticnclumsy]

Samira's Arc frustrated me the most because there is so much gaslighting in the interviews that they even tried to force the hand of the narrative of the show the opposite way. We Open the season with a clear verbal confirmation that Samira has an ER attending position at New Jersey she was taking up to be close to her mom who is now moving away so she doesn't have family in new Jersey so she WANTS to stay in Pittsburgh. The fellowship applications were going to be ER GERIATRICS, OR ER SPORTS MEDICINE, not completely different fields of Geriatrics in internal medicine or sports medicine in internal medicine. She even talked about a letter of recommendation from Dr. Abott ( and what is says about Robby that she didn't even consider asking him). But because Robby projects his mommy issues on Samira's panic attack and repeatedly tells her she doesn't belong in ER, suddenly we as the audience have to believe him. Why? In s1 pittfest, Samira proved that she thrived when needed. She talks to patients for long? And she diagnosed the makeup girl right when Robby wanted to send her to psych instead. Samira got the worst treatment in the end and you will not convince me that writing changed mid way S2 for reasons that were not professional and the actress' was written off for it.

[slidewhistlebj]

The biggest issue in the pitt season two is the writers killed their own momentum at every turn and then acted confused when it didn’t work for people (how could it)

Trinity’s a new R2, drowning in work and seeing a new attending come in who she doesn’t like on the same day as Frank’s return to the ER. She’s stressed and overloaded and her position is being threatened and her tone all season is…she’s sleepy. Trinity is tired. Instead of her fighting for her place in the ER like we saw in season one, metaphorically elbowing people as a way of reasserting herself, she sits at a desk and charts. For 75% of the season. It doesn’t go anywhere, nothing happens with it (she makes a mistake and it’s caught and the lecture about it is so mild she doesn’t even stand up). Trinity spends a season designed to push her buttons doing nothing but talk about the characters around her

Robby’s planned a suicide trip that from the opening of the season is already clearly a bad idea. But because of the format of the show, instead of it being a sudden announcement or a reason to talk to him, everyone spends the season wishing him well….because they’ve known about it for weeks. There’s nothing left to discuss. And the audience knows Robby’s not killing himself - it’s an empty threat - so every Robby scene goes the same way: you’re heading out? Ah man that’s so out of character, well have fun and see you later (Robby face of ‘there won’t be a later’). By the time Robby actually said he’s suicidal I rolled my eyes because it had been textually overplayed for thirteen episodes. Robby started at the end of his character arc for the season and was given massive amounts of screentime like he was going to progress somewhere (nope)

Frank is back in the ER he used to thrive in, returning with who knows how many rumors stacked against him and a checklist of people he knows he’s wronged. It’s emotional and tense and such a good premise for real character exploration, and then the season conspires not give him any space for emotional catharsis. Louie’s death was the biggest fumble I’ve seen in modern TV in a long time for both the character and his impact on the show. It was rushed and verbally sad but tonally nothing. Frank works the hotdog case afterwards, Dennis doesn’t even know about it, everyone’s repressing so hard that no one does anything. Instead of a private moment between Frank and Louie with could-have-beens and grey areas about who’s still in Louie (and Frank’s) life after addiction - we got a bunch of characters standing in a room (I though the ER was packed) 90% of them not speaking (then why are they here) as Robby reveals omnipotent Louie knowledge in a monologue (that’s not impactful). And then the season moves on and we get more time from Trinity and Robby doubting Franks recovery than Frank himself discussing it. Frank’s recovery isn’t about him, so he spends the season waiting to impact other people

Samira’s arc was a mess from top to bottom and that fact that the writing did that to her and then the editing doubled down on it is disappointing and exhausting to the nth degree. She should have been a shining star of the season, pushing and pulling with Frank on various cases to keep the energy up when other plot drivers had to do something else. Instead she was shoved into ‘lecture’ patients to learn medical lessons that she’d already know, had her position in the ER stolen by Dennis because her boss is straight up racist, and didn’t get to interact with anyone with the authority an R4 should have (and then they kicked her off. Because WOC aren’t allowed to argue with Robby and stay on the show 😐)

Add onto all of these character choices where they’re positioned to stand still until acted on (paralyzing the show for episodes at a time), the environment was also changed in a way that’s a negative for any building any impact or momentum.

The removal of Gloria means that Robby becomes the ER rule guy to everyone (including Baran) - he’s the enforcer and the victim. There’s nothing for Robby to narratively push against because he’s the one defending the system.

The choice to stop shooting from Robby’s POV gave the camera too much freedom and instead of getting to explore characters in more personally engaging situations, we completely lost any sense of tension and movement in favor of lingering conversations (the Annie conversation between Robby and Trinity should have been a third of the length at least).

The complete avoidance of a central conflict is the worst of the bunch though. First it was going to be the computers going down and that was going to lead to drama (patients getting lost in the gaps, missing medication being blamed on Frank, doctors on top of each other because they have to interact to share information). Then it was going to be the waterpark patients coming in to swamp the ER. Then it was going to be how do they do hand off when the ER is so overcapacity and still drowning with patients

And then they didn’t do any of it. Victoria missed something with a patient but she’s a med student. Nothing went wrong with medication or missing patients, they just kept track of it. They got some waterpark patients but there was nothing distinguishing them from the other people already in the ER or showing the system being filled past capacity so that trickled out into nothing. Hand off was just…completed.

I’m shocked by how many examples of killed momentum I have and it devastated character impact for the whole season (which reduces the scale of the characters).

The middle of the season felt like it was spinning its wheels, keeping people separate so they could have one formative conversation 2/3rds of the way through the season and have an arc by the finale. Characters were paralyzed, didn’t emote, emoted internally, or just never found out about things to keep them from reacting in ways that would genuinely shake up dynamics. It’s disappointing and exhausting to see so many choices sabotaging characters then recognize that they took screentime from WOC for white male characters THAT WEREN’T EVEN BEING UTILIZED

[tiredandoptimistic]

If nothing else, Sebastian sure inherited his father's misogyny.

In all seriousness, I think it's fascinating how he's trying to make Clary think that she and Jocelyn are just as bad as him and Valentine by completely decontextualizing their actions. Sure, Jocelyn manipulated Valentine by pretending to be in love with him because he had been drugging her against her will, doing evil science experiments on living beings in the basements, and plotting to take over the world. She's the villain for arranging consequences to his genocidal actions.

Jocelyn is ruthless, and that's one of my favorite things about her. She was in an abusive relationship for years and systematically isolated from any sort of support network, but she still gathered her resources and did whatever the hell it took to bring Valentine down. She stayed in that house even after knowing what a monster he was, because she knew that she was the only one with the tools to stop him before it was too late. Most importantly, she was willing to let her friends pay the price for their actions. After years of the Circle supporting each other through increasingly atrocious actions, Jocelyn finally decided that some things can't be ignored. Friendship is enough to make many people turn a blind eye, but Jocelyn set those personal connections aside and was able to recognize that the Circle was a dangerous cult whose members (no matter how she felt about them as individuals) were dangerous to the world at large.

Anyways, I love Jocelyn Fairchild and I hope she absolutely ruins even more horrible men.

[rhaenyraqueenred]

I really wish to have Mina Carstairs content without being linked all the time to Kit or Will's Herondale memory. Nobody had though of Lucie and James because they had a link to Jem, because in fact in the 90% of the TSC fandom doesn't really care about Jem.

And they only care about Mina now is because of Kit. If Cassie never brought Kit to the Carstairs family, that 90% of the TSC fandom wouldn't care about her or Jem at all.

They are the same who keep thinking of Will when they read about modern Tessa's life. Even the author keep doing it. To her, and fans, Jem and Mina only matters when is to make it about Will and all the Herondales (Kit, Jace and so on...)

And as a fan of the Carstairs characters since I read The Infernal Devices is so tiring. This thing doesn't happen the other way around. The Herondales are loved by the fandom bc of their own, not because of their relationship with other shadowhunters families. This thing never applied to Jem, Mina, Cordelia and even Emma. They all had to be somehow linked to a Herondale to being "noticed" by readers who didn't care about them in the first place.

Is so tiring. BTW. I love Jem and Mina of their own. I really wish to see them shine on the because and being loved because of their individuality. But that will never happen.

[angellsell]

THIS

[stephexmachina]

tbh in my eyes this kind of thing is inexcusably pathetic like it's not cute it's not funny it's not forgivable it's misogyny plain & simple. if you can't connect with female characters as full people with thoughts & emotions you're a loser & i have no respect for you #notsorry

[chaoticnclumsy]

And when I say TID is one of the greatest trilogies ever but not a good love triangle really, because truth be told, there was never really a triangle, then what?

Mind you, I do not underestimate Will's love for Tessa or Jem, or Tessa'a for Will and Jem or Jem's for Will and Tessa. But I said what I said.

[starcut-sand]

loveeee characters who think they're likable but not lovable. characters who know they have surface-level admirable or alluring traits and so make sure to highlight those traits so that nobody looks closer to see what's underneath. characters who know they're hot or clever or cool and use that as a suit of armor so that no one ever gets close to them, because when they strip bare and show their vulnerability they're not any of those things, which means they have nothing left to make up for who they inherently are

[chaoticnclumsy]

Matthew Fairchild you mean

[veeva-i0i]

Since I raved about Luke, I want to give some love to my girl Jocelyn as well. What a queen she is.

Everything she has done since she found out about being pregnant with Clary has been for Clary. From hiding the Mortal Cup in a place where only herself and Clary could reach it, to running away from Idris and starting up a new life in New York. Mind you, the apartment she chose was one with a portal; it was a place where downworlders felt safe to go so she would still be updated about anything big going on.

Yes, she was overprotective of Clary, but can you really blame her when she was (rightfully so) convinced that her psycho of a husband was still alive after faking his death?

[mrsgraymark]

Jocelyn loved clary, prioritized clary, and done her best to protect clary.

I don't want to hear people whine about the methods she used to ensure her daughter was safe.

She did what she thought was best for her child. That's what parenting is.

[chaoticnclumsy]

This. And also, people forget Jocelyn was VERY YOUNG herself when she ran away, hardly like 22-23 years old. With a husband obsessed with her and mind you, Nobody knew better than her what Valentine could do so she went beyond everything to protect clary the only way she saw fit in that time. I will never understand how and why that is a flaw for some readers. Clary's resentment is valid but you will never convince me Jocelyn was a bad mother ( not even for being untrusting of Jace in the first 4-5 books). And One of the major reasons TMI isn't my favourite series is because of the lack of Jocelyn/Clary moments when there was clear opportunity/need for it. People would rather sympathise with Valentine than even try to understand Jocelyn and it tells me everything.

[bluecookieeggspizza-blog]

I think the reason Celine and Jocelyn are always on my podium is because I’ve always liked flawed women, and especially the ones who are flawed and never get “forgiven” by the fandom 😃. The bash Celine got after the wicked ones for choosing Stephen was always kinda funny to me, cause yeah she messed up and the book really shows that, but it’s wild that she takes all the blame when the real problem was STEPHEN. Valentine was guilty too (in that and literally everything lol), Céline had her part, but for me the real problem it’s always been Stephen. He was the married guy, he’s the one who decided to divorce. Sure, Valentine and Céline were influencing stuff, but he’s the one who actually went through with it. And people have way more sympathy for him just because of a letter he wrote to Jace, while Céline gets dragged for saying she wanted Valentine to give him to her. But the dude who divorced and then married a girl he literally thought of as a child was Stephen.

And Jocelyn… I don’t even need to explain. She’s by far the one who gets the most insane hate, while people bend over backwards to excuse Sebastian and Valentine, two abusive men. And somehow people feel more empathy for them than for a woman who went through horrendous abuse, fell into severe depression because of it, and is still judged for stuff she didn’t even do, like “abandoning” a child she thought was dead. And don’t even get me started on how she’s treated as the biggest villain just bcoz she doesn’t fit into that perfect motherhood fantasy the fandom can’t let go oof💀

Anyway, just ranting, but no matter how many flaws my girls have (and yeah, they’ve got plenty), they always get way more hate and blame than the men who actually made their lives a living hell

[chaoticnclumsy]

The Jocelyn hate always takes me out and I don't care what anyone's reasons are. Jocelyn was hardly an adult while going through the craziest stuff one after the other. She ran with clary when she was hardly what? 22? All the perfect mother debates are hilarious because who is the perfect parent in that generation? Maryse? Robert? Simon's mom? Every single parent character is flawed af. But like you said people have so much more empathy and pity for characters like Valentine then Jocelyn and it tells me everything I need to know.

#jocelynfairchildyouwillalwaysbelovedbyme

[chaoticnclumsy]

“Julian's only personality is his family, so boring”

Pray tell me exactly when did that KID have time to develop a personality outside feeding his siblings and parenting them and protecting them and just being a father figure? He had nobody to fall back on. LITERALLY NO ELDER FIGURE. Diana was there but she had her secrets and the one thing Julian asked of her was that she refused ( she was 100 percent valid but Julian did not know that). He only asked help from Malcolm for his uncle. The guy cooked and cleaned and baked and still found a little time to paint as his ONLY form of stress release. Not to mention amidst all this they were all still expected to do regular shadowhunters stuff and kill demons. And add to his love for the girl he couldn't have. Did you all forget he didn't sleep well? Woke up early because extra hours to catch up on institute work. Exactly when and what other personality trait he needs????? I do not mean everyone has to like him, if you don't you don't but this lack of personality bullshit is very very annoying. Leave the KID alone.

[thebitchforjemcarstairs]

Everyone tagged here should have received the 3 first books of the kickstarter. Please check your spams if you did not find them. If not send me a DM.

I'm still waiting for the mails of @malevolenthag @kelseaanya @plainjane2014 @statureofwords @supernightmarefest please send them before the 19th of august.

@randomkatefangirl @ultimatelyre @maybenexttonormal @whaliensdream @blackthornish @Sydney015 @Ozzypawsbone-princeofbarkness @octosummary @sadiekaneismysister @carelessflower @bananasprinkles @firellily @linus-wickworth @islafairthorn @blackthornobsessed @maya6 @lityerses-di-midas @exo-clover @nyx-reads-a-lot-of-books @brittlovesbooks @cherry-140 @goldenjellyfish12 @waywood13 @chaoticnclumsy @tessacarstairs @appalachian-heathens @fairondaisy @greyfix @starrieshq @julietherondale152 @so4bin @Gotthat-Lightwood-Bane @shadowargs-blog @lumaat @blindbandit1515 @herongrystrs @crucisisfinti @chpllnchnaya @alwaysoveranalyze @Spicylittlefruitbasket @jukudol @Drop-cherries @skzenha2 @edensgrieving @sfali @spraypaintstainonawhitewall @winesharksea @wisteriabookss @nebelparder @tr3sure0fmyheart @cortanas-wielder @rqsarios @youwerealwaysmysecret @herenolonger @melylovesocs @lostinthwhalo @thatonecoolname09 @thejemcarstairss

[sielaltruist]

Unpopular opinion, but I hate how much Emma is compared to Jace because it is a disservice to her. Now, I love Jace as a character, and yes, pointing out similarities between these two is one thing, but literally attaching his personality to hers and erasing her identity is another.

Like the number of times she is referred to as Female Jace is borderline infuriating. No, she isn't Female Jace; she's Emma, a person and a character in her own right.

[happilyshyturtle]

Julian was so different before the events of COHF 😭😭😭😭😭

This makes me sad. The world was so cruel to him.😔

[chaoticnclumsy]

Gah the childish wonder and innocence in his voice and demeanor 😭🤌 Oh jules!

#bubblewrapprotectionsquadforJulianBlackthornplease