[archivoasks]

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[traditionalwishes-deactivated20]

[submissive-housewife]

why do you want to be submissive to your husband?

There are so many reasons. I’ll list some of the big ones.

1. I believe that men should be the head of the household, and are natural leaders.

2. I think my husband is smarter and more capable than me.

3. I enjoy serving him and letting him make the decisions. I know that he will make smarter decisions than me.

4. I like rules and boundaries. It makes me feel safer.

5. I’d rather spend my time cooking and cleaning than being out in the working world. I’m better suited for domestic tasks.

And yes, I’m being 100% honest. Keep in mind, these are just my personal opinions/preferences. :)

[woodsandhearth]

[vvorldinmyeyes]

made this for my grandma

[disgustinggf]

"pasta only fills you up with empty calories" have you considered that it also fills me with love

[disgustinggf]

love and warmth and happiness and most importantly pasta

[viridianriver]

pasta rant. pasta fills you with strength and diet culture is based in junk science

I did sports in college and the day before every tournament we'd go to Olive garden and eat as much pasta as possible. carb loading.

and literally every year the freshmen were like "you want us to eat carbs? Bc this was peak diet culture days. And yeah bc carbs make you strong the next day. You can do high intensity anerobic exercise for a long ass time after eating carbs. it was like having pasta superpowers

We'd be bringing sugary drinks to competition to keep up the energy and getting burgers and milkshakes after to recover. And all that was healthy af

You need protein to repair damaged muscles, and fats to break down vitamins and give you energy so anything that tells you any of the macros are bad for you? It's eating disorder shit, macros are literally the 3 nutrients your body needs in large quantities to survive. and sugar? That's the shit you need when you need energy Right Now.

[istoppedlurkingforthis]

One of the most horrifying conversations that I've ever heard, was when my (then under ten) niece and nephew told my mum that pasta, potatoes and rice were all unhealthy foods and that she shouldn't be making them dinner with them. Because they were Bad For You.

Apparently the school they were in at the time had told them All About The Evils Of Carbs. And how they should be avoiding them all.

Carb loading has it's place definitely (I used to do it a lot pre-days where I knew I was going to be doing it a lot of heavy lifting for work). But honestly so does just eating carbs.

But we really need to get people to stop saying terrifying things like "pasta only fills you up with empty calories"

Because OP is right, it fills you with love and warmth (and most importantly pasta).

But it also fills you with energy. And, if you are still growing, it fuels your growth.

[andhumanslovedstories]

We had a patient last night who was a textbook case of electrolytes imbalance as a result of nausea and vomiting. And I didn’t say this to the patient because I didn’t think they’d appreciate it, but it’s kinda great when the way you are so so sick is like exactly like the textbooks say it’ll be. Like not good that you’re having sudden new onset muscle weakness and tingling, but buddy this is gonna get sorted out with an efficiency you won’t believe. We fixed like 85% of the stuff wrong with this patient by midnight and we marveled the whole time about how this patient was seemingly concocted in a lab so I could walk my trainee through a highly manageable crisis

[andhumanslovedstories]

It also meant I got to share with my trainee what is my absolute favorite part of the job: when you take someone who is So Miserable and you make them feel So Much Better that they start once again having a personality beyond suffering and crying. It’s like seeing a plant perk up after finally getting watered. Suddenly they’re joking, they’re laughing, you’re talking about stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with puking or tingling or bleeding or burning. They’ve got a bag of potassium phosphate going into their arm, and we’re cackling like banshees because your friend at bedside who has been so worried just made a really stupid joke. There is no sillier place in the hospital than the room where someone is giggling with the giddy joy you get when you feel pretty okay after just one hour ago everything sucking so, so, so, so bad.

[iamtherabbitinwonderland]

[magicalvegan]

Not to mention the normalization of 12, 16, and 24 hour shifts in the medical field, as well as there being no legal recourse to refuse being mandated to stay beyond 24 hours when you don't have relief.

[somethingaboutsomethingelse]

Worker abuse, systemic medical abuse, and ableism all in one go.

[3liza]

it also kills thousands of patients a year. sleep deprivation is indistinguishable from being drunk in terms of how badly it affects reaction time, rational thought, decision making, and manual dexterity. people are making just as many life-or-death decisions about patients at the ends of those 24 hour shifts as they are at the beginning. we need a national medical worker's strike and we need it yesterday

[gynoidgearhead]

[Image caption for original post: tweets by Alex Haagard (they/them) (@alexhaagard) reading: "At some point we should probably have a conversation about how the normalization and glorification of physical exhaustion during medical training contributes to producing deeply ableist doctors."; "Like a) it makes the field completely inaccessible to many disabled people whose knowledge is deeply needed there and b) it supports a deeply f*cked up worldview in which pain and fatigue are things we can and should just 'push through'." End caption.]

[indiestarlight-deactivated20250]

the thing about the "um excuse me if you're as poor as you say you are why don't you just sell all your most treasured possessions" thing that people love to trot out as some kind of "gotcha" is that they do not acknowledge how fucking soul-crushing it is to be in a situation that is already destroying your mental health and then be forced to sell one of the few things in your life that still bring you joy

[indiestarlight-deactivated20250]

and an additional layer of this that nobody ever likes to acknowledge is:

human beings genuinely need to have fun and enjoyable things in our lives so that we do not just fall so deep into depression we jump off the nearest bridge, but in the current world we live in, having fun costs money. every list i have seen of "fun things you can do for free!" still costs money, it just costs an amount of money that is inconsequentially small to the person writing the list but that could easily be what a poor person has to live on for an entire week

"sit in a coffeeshop and journal!" coffee, journals, and pens cost money

"go to events with your friends!" event tickets and bus fare/gas cost money

"cook a nice home-cooked meal!" ingredients cost money. if people could be doing this one they already would. do you think poor people eat ramen and peanut butter sandwiches every day for fun

"take up a hobby, like crochet or watercolor!" those supplies cost money. yes i know you can get a lot of craft supplies at the dollar tree. someone with thirty cents in their bank account cannot afford that

"go hiking!" gas money, hiking shoes, and clothes that won't be covered in holes by the time you get off the trail all cost money. if your closest hiking trails are national parks you've also gotta pay to go into those

everything costs fucking money. when you are poor, often the only way you can do fun things is 1) because someone you know with more money than you offers to pay for it for you, or 2) by utilizing things you already have at home, which you cannot fucking do if you sell everything you own

[indiestarlight-deactivated20250]

so yeah tl;dr when i see someone asking for money for groceries/rent/bills/etc and i also know that person has like a wacom tablet or a playstation or whatever i do not judge them, i simply think "i am glad this person is able to get some joy still" because i hold the extremely controversial opinion that not wanting to kill yourself shouldn't be a luxury that only rich people can afford

[everlastinghistory]

[pompompinkyy-deactivated2024120]

“Because I said so” teaches your child NOTHING.

[cocklessboy]

The other day I told a friend of mine that I never forget to take my ADHD meds because I fucking love my ADHD meds. I'm in my late 30s, I didn't finally get a diagnosis and meds until less than two years ago, and they have changed my entire life.

And he raised his eyebrow at me. We'd been discussing addictive medications a few minutes before, like the Tramadol I finally got from the pain specialist to take once a week or so to give me a break from my chronic pain, so I reassured him that methylpenidate (Ritalin/Concerta) is not addictive (at least not in people with ADHD).

His response? To raise his eyebrow even harder and say "Well it sure SOUNDS like it's addictive!"

And I had to explain to this man - who works in a healthcare related job by the way - that just because medication makes you feel good and helps you, just because you look forward to taking it, that doesn't make it addictive or dangerous. And he wasn't convinced.

The simple fact that I was excited to take a daily pill that has literally changed my life, after decades of fighting to get that medication, made him think I shouldn't be taking it so often. That it must inherently be dangerous.

I'm not even in America, but I'm pretty sure this attitude began there and then spread over here to Europe. This Puritan idea of "if something feels good, you must beware of it. Pleasure is dangerous, it is sinful, it is addiction, it is evil."

I know too many people who subconsciously believe that pleasure = addictive = dangerous = bad. Joy is a slippery slope to hell.

So here is your reminder for today that you don't need to be afraid of feeling good. If something improves your life, use it. Even if it is addictive - learn what that addiction means, whether the addiction is inherently dangerous or not, and whether the benefits outweigh the drawbacks and risks.

My ADHD meds are, in fact, not addictive. But I will take them every day because they make my life orders of magnitude easier. I will enjoy them every time I take them.

My tramadol is addictive. I will still take it. I will keep it on a schedule to avoid becoming addicted, primarily because addiction in this case would mean reduced effectiveness. But I am not afraid of my painkillers. They are life changing.

Take your meds, everyone. Don't let anyone scare you away from doing something that improves your life.

[inbabylontheywept]

There is something so sinister about the idea that a medication made to improve your life cannot be trusted if it improves your life so much that you like taking it. Bleh.

[inbabylontheywept]

It puts this weird moral obligation on suffering. Like if you’re actually comfortable with yourself and your treatment you’re somehow failing. That you need to be ashamed somehow that the medication helps you and need to be looking for alternatives.

But you don’t. You found a solution that worked great and then you moved on to something else.

[theconcealedweapon]

I see a lot of posts saying "teach boys about consent".

While that is true, a lot of parents will do that and fail to see how their own actions are the problem.

If you've spanked him, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've forced him to sit on Santa's lap, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've forced him to give hugs and kisses to family members, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've grabbed him in order to force him to sit still, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've labeled him as "too sensitive" for not wanting to be touched, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you've assumed he's okay with something because he technically allowed it even though he felt pressured, he's less likely to understand consent.

If you're only going to criticize his actions but not your own, it won't work.

[doberbutts]

I am a firm believer that it's not just what he experiences in his life, but what he witnesses too. Okay so you don't do any of those to him but you do those things to his sisters? His cousins? His mom? He is learning consent is for him hut not for women.

One of my sisters has young children, both of whom are some flavor of neurodivergent. She is too, and as a result she often lost patience quickly with some of their quirks. The biggest offender is that her kids are extremely wary around anyone they deem to be a stranger, making social connection very difficult for all participants.

When I first met her daughter, she was 3 or 4, and was extremely reluctant to come and meet me. My sister began to shame and push and pull her towards me and I stopped her. I said "don't force her, don't teach her that she has to let men she doesn't know touch her, she doesn't need to hug me"

My sister froze in place, processed it for a moment, and let her daughter go. She went back to hiding behind mom. We continued our conversation and her son slowly approached me, hugged me, and climbed up onto the chair I was in to sit beside me and partially in my lap. After a few minutes, her daughter joined him. She didn't hug me, but she came over to touch and talk to me.

My sister was speechless. Her kids DON'T do that. I've heard many complaints from many family members about how antisocial they are. All I did was stick up for their right to offer or withdraw consent- and really just her daughter's, as her son had met me pre-covid and had already gotten over the hurdle at 2 years old, but her daughter was born during covid and thus it made her severe distrust of strangers even worse.

Now her kids are in elementary school and making friends easily and I regularly get stories from her about how she witnesses them connect with other socially withdrawn kids and stand up for both themselves and their quieter friends. She took my advice to heart and started allowing them to voice whether they consented to something and now her little boy will approach a crying kid on the playground and say something like "do you want to play, or do you want me to just sit with you, or do you want to be alone?" and then actually listen to what the other kid tells him.

My niece has an incredibly traumatized boy in her class who escaped war with his family, and he doesn't talk to anyone. But he visibly relaxes when my niece goes to sit next to him when he's too scared and curled up in the classroom's Quiet Corner. She reads to him and shows him her toys and holds his hand on field trips and yells at anyone who is mean to him. I'm told she's the only person who can approach or touch him without causing a meltdown besides his family, and it started because the first time she sat with him she asked if it was okay if she did so and she waited several minutes for him to nod before she sat down.

But they still avoid the family members that forced them to interact even when they were uncomfortable. I still hear those complaints, hundreds of miles away, and the jealousy that I've only met the kids a few times but they talk incessantly about me. If I call one of my family members and the kids are over, I can hear them in the background trying to talk to me if they figure out it's me on the other line.

Anyway. Long story short I didn't have to advocate for my nephew the way I did my niece, but advocating for my niece in front of the both of them dramatically changed the way both of them were taught to manage social interaction. Consent isn't just about teaching the boy. It's also making sure he sees that consent being practiced with everyone.

[thesmolgoblingf]

I believe part of my desire to be a homemaker stems from my need to be the antithesis to the woman who raised me.

“I put food on the table and a roof over your head,” she’d scream. “You’re so ungrateful.”

But children need love. I needed love.

I needed someone to guide me through the storms of my mixed up emotions, but I had to learn to weather them on my own. I needed a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, open arms to run to.

Instead, I had to be that person for my younger sisters, telling them it would all be okay, walking them through their feelings, and eventually steering them on their confusing journey through adolescence while the woman who was supposed to be raising us was locked away in her bedroom playing Candy Crush.

She made me into a teenage parent and then resented me for it. She didn’t like that my sisters would come to me for comfort, seek my approval, and beam at my encouragement.

She stole my girlhood, but that wasn’t enough. She stole my identity and gaslit me for years about it, and then tried to claim I was blaspheming her when the law caught up with her.

Adopting children with special needs doesn’t automatically make anyone a good parent, but it certainly earned her the praise and validation she was so desperately seeking.

I hold no love for that woman, but stew in deep vats of hatred that I’m funneling into spite her by being the mother I needed, a better mother than she could ever dream of being.

I will love my children unconditionally. When they are sick, they will be cared for. When they cry, they will be comforted. When they are confused, they will be guided. When they accomplish something, they will be celebrated. When they are happy, we will be happy together.

My home will not be that of an animal hoarder, someone who “rescues” animals by bringing them into an ever-worsening situation. My home will be clean yet lived in; nice and cozy for our family’s daily activities.

My children will learn at home, where they can be given the one-on-one attention they deserve to ensure their understanding of concepts instead of being forced through a standardized series of tests with little help. They will be served nutritious meals and taught how to make them. They will learn to contribute to the household in a meaningful way instead of being punished with chores. They will cultivate a relationship with the outdoors by helping in the garden and learn to care for others by helping feed the chickens.

The anger I feel toward that woman diminishes more as my partner and I plan our future together. Talking about how we want to tile our floors and arrange my bookcases heals me in a way I don’t think my partner fully understands. The fact that making choices together doesn’t end in a screaming match and a power struggle is refreshing.

I also take solace in the fact that it’s me my little sisters want to see, and not my mother (who has thankfully lost custody). They’re such smart and beautiful young ladies, and I can’t help but feel relieved that I didn’t lead them astray.

[tenderspirits-deactivated202012]

She’s left behind her a sweet scent of rose and lilac, and the feeling of two gentle kisses—

Fyodor Sologub, from “The Little Demon,”

[mortalityplays]

something my mum always taught us was to look for the resources we're entitled to, and use them. public land? know your access rights and responsibilities, go there and exercise them. libraries? go there and talk to librarians and read community notice boards, find out what other people are doing around you, ask questions, use the printers. public records offices? go in there, learn what they hold and what you can access, look at old maps, get your full birth certificate copied, check out the census from your neighbourhood a hundred years ago. are you entitled to social support? find out, take it, use it. does the local art college have facilities open to the public? go in, look around, check out their exhibit on ancient looms or whatever, shop in their campus art supply store. it applies online too, there is so much shit in the world that belongs to the public commons that you can access and use if you just take a minute to wonder what might exist!!!

[homunculus-argument]

The thing about perfect pitch is that it's a combination of having an inherent knack for it, and having that skill honed with a musical education. Someone who could recognise a specific note by the ear but was never taught notes cannot do it, and someone who simply wasn't born with the potential for it can't learn it no matter how thorough of a musical education they have.

I think the same thing applies to what I've come to refer to as "a few raisins is five raisins" type of instruction-giving. The ability to instinctively assess how much information and detail somebody wants or needs when they're asking for instructions. People who cannot do this are enraged by the idea that someone thinks they can, btw. How dare somebody arbitrarily decide to withdraw information and take away someone's agency concerning choices that they don't want to make and whose outcome doesn't matter much.

I'd consider that I have a pretty good knack for it, myself. It's been honed by working both with people who refuse to give exact instructions, my own difficulties in asking for sufficiently exact instructions when I've needed them, and working with people with varying preferences towards instruction-exactness.

People who refuse to give clarifications to their instructions and guidelines in things that they are familiar with leave you no other choice than to demonstrate just how wrong their vague answers can be interprated before they're willing to clarify. If you ask someone "how long does this usually roughly take?" and they just go "I cannot answer that, it varies so much from person to person, every single individual case is different" on and on, refusing to give the roughest of rough estimates, all you can do is say "okay so it can take anything between 20 minutes and 20 years." And only then will they say "oh no, it's more like 3-6 years on average", which was the exact answer you wanted in the first place.

It's not really a comprehension thing, but a moral code to them. I don't believe in having ethical principles that serve no other role than inconvenience absolutely everyone including myself, so I have no qualms about giving simplified instructions. If someone who needs exact instructions is trying to follow a recipe that tells them to add "a few raisins" freezes at the vagueness and asks "how much is 'a few' raisins?" they want an exact number.

Someone who isn't comfortable trusting their own assessment of how much is 'a few' won't be helped by being told to follow their heart and make their own choices. They specifically want somebody to just give some sort of a guideline about this. And being the type that's more comfortable just eyeballing things, I can assess that in this context "a few" means roughly half of a small handful of raisins, and quickly estimate that one half of a small handful is roughly 4-6 individual raisins.

And instead of getting needlessly difficult about refusing to say it, I can just say "oh, that's about five raisins", and everyone can carry on with their day.