Chasing Hope

17 yrs old. My name is Lauren. Side blogs are: @happyplacce @yesiwasraisedinabarn I am an artist, animal lover, service dog trainer, writer, horse back rider, sister, daughter, friend. Some of my favorite things are Disney, Pinterest (CaptainMayhem), yoga, journaling, psychology, and Tumblr. To see my personal recovery hit #personal on one of my posts. It can really be comforting knowing that you're not alone! Hit #coping skills for advice and things to do when you're down. Personal blog about my recovery and things that help me cheer up!:) This is a safe place for anyone. Please feel free to ask or submit things especially if you need to vent or need help or just want to share something. Hoping to recover and spread awareness about depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.

[lauren--lives-deactivated201801]

💜💜💜

[chasinghope16]

Random internet creep here...lol how are you doing lately?

I had left this over the summer hoping for better news to come around. Only took three months but I got there😃 Physically? I was sleeping all day and felt really sick. Turns out I had restless leg syndrome which wouldn't let me get into R.E.M. Sleep. Now I'm on meds to help with that. I'm not as mind numbingly exhausted anymore! We took care of my meds so I'm not getting bad side effects like dizziness anymore. Helps so much. I've been put on a stimulant to help keep me awake. I'm getting help from a cardiologist now to fix my ridiculously fast heart rate of 115 resting on average.Mentally?Shit😂 There's literally no way else to say it. Haven't been able to do much this summer. My clinical depression acted up a lot, my anxiety hit full force, my self image went real low, I was constantly beating myself up after interactions with others, and I found myself getting angry all the time which isn't like me. I did have fun here and there over the summer, but honestly I just felt like crap through most of it. It gets really unpleasant sometimes. Recently, I've been just feeling like a lazy burden of a couch surfer on my family. Most of the time I was too sick to do anything. Even find a job. It kind of led to some darker thoughts but I try to remind myself that the fact I want to help so badly means I'm not all that bad of a person. Just trying really hard to work on the anxiety and beating myself up around people. I'll get there at some point. Anyways thanks for asking:)

[chasinghope16]

Her first time doing poles and jumps...obviously...still working on it😂

[decodethefallenmoon]

That’s now how you do the thing, Bug.

[grabmane-blog]

Video portion of “bounce? You mean oxer?” photo hahahaha

[coyoteas]

its REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT THAT YOU WATCH THIS VIDEO

[wherehorsesmeetdogs]

The fact that she swore the whole way through makes this even more hilarious haha.

[lorde-questrian-blog-blog]

I have watched this dozens of times and I still can’t get over it. fucking hilarious. and the cussing makes it a 10000000000x better

[swedish-oxers]

Posting again bc it’s my favorite video on the Internet

[user274628-deactivated20210126]

iconic part of eq tumblr

[grabmane-blog]

My laugh is so annoying I’m cringing but if you’ve never seen this video pls watch

[cutegayjewishgirl]

“shit. bitch. motherfucker.” never ceases to make me laugh omg

[bull-shit-free-zone]

Holy shit this is me!!! 😂😂👏

[eq-uitation]

I don’t think I ever won’t reblog this and not laugh

[the-broken-blaze-deactivated201]

😂 made me feel better

[bridles-and-boots]

I DIE EVERY TIME I SEE THIS

[train-to-win-deactivated2016090]

Reblogging again bc it’s too good

[lehorse]

Just bringing this one back 👌🏻

[dreamsofdressage]

every time i need a good chuckle this vid is there for me

[chasinghope16]

@fleeingmysilence Me every time

[recoveryisbeautiful]

You need to address your eating disorder as a whole and not just erase what you see on the surface.

recoveryisbeautiful (via sheisrecovering)

[praying]

[chasinghope16]

Today is the day 2 years ago I started my first day of recovery. Around this day I always celebrate my life, what it was like, who I was, who I am now, and the life I have now. This is the day I accept myself. Not just the bad but the good too. I learn how to accept my sarcastic self, happy self, goofy self, loving self, weird self, and yes, even my younger ten year old self curly hair, messy hair clips, metal mouth, and all. And last but not least, understand that it’s painful sometimes, but that the happy moments make every other part of my life I have to live worth it. And I hope one day I can show others how to do the same thing:) ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

[smelsea]

[undeterr-ed-deactivated20161230]

Friendly reminder

“Doing your best” does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown.

[vastderp]

this one still smashes me in the face ten times a year. do not ignore pain, it’s no longer your best at that point

[todayifeltproud]

Today I feel proud because I'm usually very self conscious of my body but today when I wasn't feeling well I went out in my pajamas and felt completely comfortable with myself.

GOOD ON YOU.

[yuowei]

Les Mis + Pride Month

[kavalas]

She literally got a drink of water and then walked over to my boots and spit the water in them.

[terapsina]

Was it revenge for the braids?

[fleeingmysilence-blog]

@chasinghope16 if this ain’t piper,…,,,,..

[chasinghope16]

@fleeingmysilence except it would be in your face

[jetsetter-life]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.

C. Assaad (via thosewhowork)

[baratkat]

all time low // dirty laundry

[katananana412]

I want someone to see me this way

[ithelpstodream]

[theotheryongbok]

My man Jesus

[bulbabushka]

Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime

[hellfucingshitfuck-deactivated2]

also, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver

“drive into that pole” thanks karen or i could not do that

[emmmpty]

Perfect

[the-neon-pineapple]

you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class

“maybe they poisoned you” maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-g

[venusian--eye-deactivated201606]

OHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY

[dapperpea]

My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.

“did I lock the door-”

captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door

[zetsubonna]

I told my new psychiatrist about how I learned this from y'all and his eyes lit up. He didn’t smile but he did nod a whole bunch of times, it was great.

[merelyimmortal]

I like to pretend that my intrusive thoughts are being said to me by a super uptight religious white lady

“god hates you because you don’t believe in him” “your failures are too great to be forgiven by anyone” “everything you do is wrong and you are going to burn in hell”

thanks for the input brenda but fuck right off

[thatoneqprblog-blog]

I would just like to say that I love you all for this idea.

[disabledfeministvoice]

Reblogging this for a friend.

[krabbydon]

“you’re a parasite on society at large and your friends in specific - ” fuck off greg

[take-my-eeveelution]

You can also pretend you’re resisting the Imperius curse, I do that sometimes.

“Next time you go past the deep fryer, stick your hands right in the hot oil.”

“Why? Stupid thing to do really. No, I don’t think I will, thanks.”

[convergingthoughts-deactivated2]

Always reblogging. Intrusive thoughts are hell, but they don’t have to be if you can reqrite the tape.