You guys better be working on some real good canon divergent fics because after March 3rd I WILL be eating up every single ‘Hange Is Alive and Well And Actually Married To Levi’ content on the internet. I’ll search every fluff tag on AO3, gobble up every sweet art of my science blorbo and reread every line of meta explaining how Hange actually survived the rumbling and is chill living in the forest. No Hange Zoë happy ending shall escape me. No canon shall burst my dellusion bubble MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
This just in: 2022 effectively tied for the fifth warmest year since 1880, when our record starts. Here at NASA, we work with our partners at NOAA to track temperatures across Earth’s entire surface, to keep a global record of how our planet is changing.
Overall, Earth is getting hotter.
The warming comes directly from human activities – specifically, the release of greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide from burning fossil fuels. We started burning fossil fuels in earnest during the Industrial Revolution. Activities like driving cars and operating factories continue to release greenhouse gases into our atmosphere, where they trap heat in the atmosphere.
So…if we’re causing Earth to warm, why isn’t every year the hottest year on record?
As 2022 shows, the current global warming isn’t uniform. Every single year isn’t necessarily warmer than every previous year, but it is generally warmer than most of the preceding years. There’s a warming trend.
Earth is a really complex system, with various climate patterns, solar activity, and events like volcanic eruptions that can tip things slightly warmer or cooler.
Climate Patterns
While 2021 and 2022 continued a global trend of warming, they were both a little cooler than 2020, largely because of a natural phenomenon known as La Niña.
La Niña is one third of a climate phenomenon called El Niño Southern Oscillation, also known as ENSO, which can have significant effects around the globe. During La Niña years, ocean temperatures in the central and eastern Pacific Ocean cool off slightly. La Niña’s twin, El Niño brings warmer temperatures to the central and eastern Pacific. Neutral years bring ocean temperatures in the region closer to the average.
El Niño and La Niña affect more than ocean temperatures – they can bring changes to rainfall patterns, hurricane frequency, and global average temperature.
We’ve been in a La Niña mode the last three, which has slightly cooled global temperatures. That’s one big reason 2021 and 2022 were cooler than 2020 – which was an El Niño year.
Overall warming is still happening. Current El Niño years are warmer than previous El Niño years, and the same goes for La Niña years. In fact, enough overall warming has occurred that most current La Niña years are warmer than most previous El Niño years. This year was the warmest La Niña year on record.
Solar Activity
Our Sun cycles through periods of more and less activity, on a schedule of about every 11 years. Here on Earth, we might receive slightly less energy — heat — from the Sun during quieter periods and slightly more during active periods.
At NASA, we work with NOAA to track the solar cycle. We kicked off a new one – Solar Cycle 25 – after solar minimum in December 2019. Since then, solar activity has been slightly ramping up.
Because we closely track solar activity, we know that over the past several decades, solar activity hasn't been on the rise, while greenhouse gases have. More importantly, the "fingerprints" we see on the climate, including temperature changes in the upper atmosphere, don't fit the what we'd expect from solar-caused warming. Rather they look like what we expect from increased greenhouse warming, verifying a prediction made decades ago by NASA.
Volcanic Eruptions
Throughout history, volcanoes have driven major shifts in Earth’s climate. Large eruptions can release water vapor — a greenhouse gas like carbon dioxide — which traps additional warmth within our atmosphere.
On the flip side, eruptions that loft lots of ash and soot into the atmosphere can temporarily cool the climate slightly, by reflecting some sunlight back into space.
Like solar activity, we can monitor volcanic eruptions and tease out their effect on variations in our global temperature.
At the End of the Day, It’s Us
Our satellites, airborne missions, and measurements from the ground give us a comprehensive picture of what’s happening on Earth every day. We also have computer models that can skillfully recreate Earth’s climate.
By combining the two, we can see what would happen to global temperature if all the changes were caused by natural forces, like volcanic eruptions or ENSO. By looking at the fingerprints each of these climate drivers leave in our models, it’s perfectly clear: The current global warming we’re experiencing is caused by humans.
For more information about climate change, visit climate.nasa.gov.
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Literally every movie adaptation ever: Henry Jeckyll is just a poor victim of his evil side Mr Hyde!
The Actual Book: Henry Jeckyll is a weird fuck who turned himself into a monster man because he wanted to indulge in doing horrible things without fear of getting caught
Actors Hange and Zeke as an ex-couple. So, Actor Levi, Hange's currently boyfriend, didn't even have to act disgusted with Zeke lmao.
"In a room as dark and cold as was his heart, pale moonlight was the only source of light. It shone weakly, feebly, but Levi welcomed it, as much as he welcomed a stiff and heavy palm on top of his."
"Hange."
"That hand, it moved, travelled upwards, seized Levi's jaw, cupped it firmly but tenderly. He almost leaned into it. If not for that stupid pride that still waged war inside of him, he'd-"
"Hange." The voice grew more insistent, far less patient. So very soon a hand appeared in front of the screen, obscuring Hange's vision. She waved it off with a growing smile, and continued, before Levi could pull out something else. "He'd surrender, he'd give in to this man, the beast he'd sworn to kill. But there, in the darkness, with no one but Zeke to witness his downfall, he was ready, oh so ready, to give in to his most sacred urges."
"Four-eyes!"
Levi tried to take away her phone, but Hange jumped back, evading him at the very last minute. She raised her phone higher, way out of his reach. "Shh... we're getting to the good part," she lowered her voice, changed it to a seductive whisper and carried on, savoring every click of tongue that came from her boyfriend. "Levi felt lips hover over his ear, he felt the tickle of a beard. It was a strange feeling, unfamiliar, yet exciting all the same. That slight tickle made him wonder - just how good that beard would feel between his thighs."
"Yep, and that's enough!" Levi snatched her phone away, just before Hange got the actual good parts.
"Hey!" she gasped. "I was reading!"
"You were reading porn." Levi said levelly. "About me and Zeke. In front of me."
"It's not just porn!" Hange disagreed heartily. "The story's flow is excellent! And the descriptions are quite interesting, if a bit exaggerated..."
"Hange."
"Only when it concerns Zeke," Hange grinned. "The descriptions of your assets, my dear, are clearly understated."
"Hange."
"Oh and you should have seen fanarts! The poses are... wow, I don't think some of them can actually be recreated."
"Four-eyes." That tone voice, that clear edge to it and the way Levi firmly squeezed the bridge of his nose could only mean one thing - he was on his limit. Hange smiled expectantly. "Why are you even looking this up? And why are you sharing this delightful information with me?"
"I thought you'd be interested in it too. You know, it's actually fascinating that fans of the show perceive the relationship between your and Zeke's characters in that way, when in reality-
"I hate his fucking guts?"
"Well..." Hange plopped down on a couch, nuzzling into the crook of Levi's neck. "Something like that, yeah. I mean, I still don't really understand why you hate him so much, honestly, he's not so-"
Levi cut her off, simply, softly, by pressing a finger to her lips. "You were dating him. And in the end, he hurt you. That's enough reason for me to hate him."
"Oh." Hange fell quiet for a moment, thinking Levi's words through, absorbing them, letting them settle inside her heart. Those words- they were warm, they brought light with them, they made her feel like she was wrapped up in a blanket, soft and cozy and reliable; that's exactly how Levi's love always made her feel. She brushed her lips against his jaw, cuddled closer to him. "Want to watch some more porn with Zeke? I can find something where he has little dick, or we can-"
Levi gave her a look - heavy, ardent and full of promise. It made her shiver, made her feel - exactly like Levi from that story felt. Those authors were really onto something. "Or," he murmured and leaned in for a kiss.
Hange met him halfway, already wearing a smile. Their lips touched, caressed one another and repeated the same motion only twice, before they started shredding each other's clothes.
After all, best porn was the one they've made themselves.
It is strange, because Hange- they are so many more things, they're his friend and a shoulder to cry on and a crutch to lean on if ever needs one. They're his laughter in the dead of the night, they're his smile in the early morning, they're his warmth during cold, winter evenings. They're a cause for his fear and brief bits of sadness, they're his happiness. They're his everything, not just a lover.
But Levi doesn't know how else to describe them; the feelings they ignite inside him, the emotions they so expertly pull out of him, he's not quite sure if words to name them even exist. Do other people have the same problem too, he wonders. Are their bonds just as indescribable as his? Do all of them settle on the word lover, simply out of lack for the better alternative?
Levi is oh so curious to know the answer, but who can he ask? Asking Hange is equaled to pointless, Levi knows them like the back of his hand, he knows that his dilemma doesn't concern them. Whatever Levi is for them, they are not shy to say it out loud. Levi is their sunshine, their love, their cutie, their saviour, the list goes on and on, depending only on Hange's mood and context of situation. He envies them, a little; their emotions, their words- they are flexible. Hange always says what they think, what they feel, they know no shame, have no limitations. And even without words, they're able to perfectly convey what their heart is saying.
But nothing can be further from the truth, so Levi tries - hard as he can - to show his devotion in other ways, in areas he excels.
Levi envies them, but also- he's distressed, he feels like he's lacking, like his inability to let out what is inside is somehow failing Hange. Makes them think that he's cold-hearted, like he doesn't care, not as much as they do.
He can't say "I worry, you work too damn much", so he makes their bed in the mornings, cleans their room, does their laundry if they get too caught up in their work. He brings them food, forces them to take a break, to go to sleep. And when the color in their cheeks starts to fade, he nags and pesters them until they agree to go for a walk through the park.
He can't get the words "You're beautiful" out, so he presses himself to Hange, kisses them on the lips, on the cheek, on the nose and on every part of them that he considers to be beautiful, sometimes not stopping until his lips taste every inch of their body.
He rarely can gift them with a smile he knows they love so much, so, instead, he dedicates himself to making them laugh and smile as much as possible. He bickers with them, gathers stories about his ridiculous subordinates, participates in every stupid stunt they want to pull - all of that just to see a spark of humor light up their eyes and to hear that sweet, sweet laugh. And, really, it is a testament of how far he's gone because sometimes Hange snorts or straight-up cackles, and, by all means, that should not be attractive, it should revolt him. And yet- it makes his chest tingle in the most pleasant way possible.
He doesn't know how to confess the simple truth of "I think about you, almost every minute of my life", so he brings them flowers from nearby gardens, buys their favorite pastries each time he goes to the market, carries tones of books from the library to their bedroom.
He hasn't been taught the right words to express simple things like "I need you" or "I am here for you" but he hopes that Hange knows what he's feeling every time that he holds them.
It is during one of those times, on a chilly autumn morning when the world itself seems grey and unkind, and the most vivid part of it, the only reason to keep going is Hange's brilliant smile, that his dilemma gets solved.
And not in a million years, Levi thinks, he'd be able to learn how to show "I love you. You're the best, the brightest part of me, without you I'd be lost and I'm forever grateful that fate has thrown us together" better than by brewing Hange a cup of tea.
He had just brought him a fresh cup of tea, and just after they've thanked him, they grasp his hand, interlace their fingers and keep him frozen in one place.
"I was thinking..." a lazy smile plays on their lips; it is so enticing, looks so sweet that to restrain himself from tasting it Levi has to call upon all of his willpower. "Maybe we should get married."
"Married?" the topic certainly comes out of the blue, it surprises Levi, but does not disturb him. It is another eccentricity, one of the many that Hange possesses. "Where this comes from?"
"Dunno," Hange blows the hair out of their face, looking utterly bored - if not for a mischievous spark that shines behind the lenses of their glasses. "People just do this kind of stuff at our age."
Levi very nearly scoffs. "Since when do you care what ordinary people do?"
"It's not that I care. But I thought it'd be kinda nice," they pause to first grin at him, then touch with that grin the back of his palm. Levi almost squirms - he feels like he's melting, that tiny point of contact spreads warmth all throughout him. "To call you Levi, my husband."
It is then when everything clicks into place. Of course, he was a fool - what word can better describe a person who is your lover, your friend, your partner, your equal and simultaneously your better part? What other word can encompass that wider than life range of emotions?
Levi feels a smile tug at his lips. He doesn't fight it, although- he does hide it: first in the crook of Hange's neck, then against their temple and hair and cheek before, at last, he allows Hange to see it, to feel it.
They giggle into his mouth. "Is that a yes then?"
Levi's not good with words, he's quite terrible with them, actually. So he only murmurs, "Make of that what you will, my spouse," before he pulls Hange on top of him and kisses them until his toes start to curl and stars dance before his eyes.
And all the while only one thing refuses to leave his mind is spouse, what a wonderful word.
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