Kismet

cause I don't shine if you don't shine

[lilmissvirgo-deactivated2022070]

me watching my own snapchat story: she is so damn funny i love her 

[jumex]

Honey, I contoured the kids

[the-mayor-of-the-internet]

The force is strong in this family

someone take Photoshop away from me

[chelseaperetti]

[chewcaccaz]

Me

[rednines]

In cars two at the airport the cars have to go through tsa checks and take off their wheels and stuff which implies the cars Universe had a 9/11

[glasseschain-deactivated2023052]

Wait. Oh my god. But planes are sentient in the cars universe. Did cars hijack the plane or did the planes fly themselves.

[rednines]

Nobody knows

[lady-kaede-deactivated20181029]

Buddy they have car pope. A car jesus died on a car cross and we’re worried if car bush did car 9/11

[wallytheasthmatic]

Famous words of a pet owner

[icanthearyoudude]

“WHAT ARE YOU EATING”

[biodegrade]

my American gf: pound me me: what’s that in metric

[danversnavarro-deactivated20240]

[eggsoskeleton]

*looks in a mirror* you again

[likeloveadore]

I was walking my dog today and this little boy stopped to pat her and was asking questions about her. He wanted to know where I got her and I said she was adopted from a shelter.

Boy: Have you told her yet? Me: What? Boy: Have you told her that she’s adopted? Me: Yes, she knows. Boy: That’s good, you should never keep a secret from a dog.

[transhuman-priestess]

[foxmulders]

i’m not saying i need validation to live i’m just saying that if my heart was flatlining and the doctor started telling me how great i was instead of trying to revive me my ass would be conscious within ten seconds 

[its39raccoons]

[historyandmemes]

King Henry VIII: You can’t get excommunicated for divorce if you leave the Catholic Church

[theryanproject]

Where my introverts at?

[dimplelylee]

home

[harryswitchteats-deactivated201]

a tumblr Youth™: you got to get off the internet when you turn 21 bc i don’t  like it

me: 

[fuks]

[tagtra]

Im fucking crying on my break why is this so funny