Hi, i'm Rosa. Another asian Virago (asian-afro dominican)
I come here mostly to make friends and help the movement. If you don't support the label I choose then block. I don't particularly care for internet battles.
I only speak English, Japanese, and Spanish.
I'm 22 and I like games, jpop, kpop, and feminine men. I'm fairly (matriarchal) traditional when it comes to relationships with men. Otherwise, I am very left. I like smut, language learning, politics, and more.
Cisheteronormative Men, Terfs, Butch discourse, and racists DNI.
(If I don't understand, I will use a machine translator for English. Thank you for your kindness.)
Could you please talk about feminine virago's experiences? It's not always easy trying to place words to the isolation I feel. As hetgnc, J feel an extreme alienation from other women because of my preference, even worse since I'm bi. I tell myself everyday I have it easier than most, yet comprehending my own marginilization feels like a futile attempt to piece parts of myself that isn't recognized.
Sure thing, Anon! I'll explain the experiences of feminine virago, an in-depth exploration on their presence in as Virago. This will be a long one, there are some concepts we'll illustrate that'll help you'll understand the discrepant societal position Feminine HetGNC Women occupy. You've mentioned bisexuality, but for brevity, I'll explore the dynamics from a Straight Feminine Virago since the politics of bisexuality adds another layer of conversation to the topic.
Before we lift off, it's important to establish baselines regarding privilege. Being gender-conforming (acting as a feminine woman or a masculine man) grants you relative privilege compared to your GNC counterparts within your respective queer, trans, or ethnic communities. Acknowledging this doesn't diminish lifelong marginalization you've experienced for your identity; rather, it highlights those who possess significantly less sociopolitical safety in the context of their communities. Addressing the violent realities of gender-nonconformity does not invalidate your own as a gender-conforming person.
Firstly, let's start where I mentioned it first.
When the scope of the "Virago" label was first conceptualized, many were surprised by the inclusion of Feminine Virago. It was an identity that had rarely been articulated because the we put GNC4GNC attracted women at the forefront of discussion most of the time.
Simply, we often see gender-conforming women in queer relationships—such as feminine sapphics or femmes attracted exclusively to butch partners—having their femininity and womanhood directly questioned by society. The Virago label extends itself to this exact struggle for feminine women attracted to Explicitly Queer Feminine Men, capturing the experiences of women whose sexualities cause immense isolation and confusion. The isolation and confusion you have experienced regarding your sexuality is a sociological result of feeling isolated from how your presentation expects you to interact with the world.
Gender conforming women in queer relationships have their femininity and womanhood put into direct question. Primarily Feminine Sapphics, Femme4Butch, women soley attracted to GNC peoples etc. The nature of the label extends itself to that struggle, especially since awareness of your existence is essentially nonexistent.
As you've said, your sexuality has provided an amount of isolation and confusion. This is by design.
There's less thought placed into those solely attracted to Gender nonconformity, because in a Gynarchophobic/Cuphobic lens, presentations that aren't codified by the Euro-colonial, cis-heteropatriarchy, are essentialized into the closest archetype known. Under this system, gender-conforming women are strictly expected to desire gender-conforming men. Femininity is enforced as a woman’s "safe," default setting, to the point where womanhood and femininity are treated as entirely inseparable, interchangeable concepts. Consequently, when someone deviates from these expectations, society lacks the vocabulary to see them clearly: masculine women are dismissed as "faux-men," and feminine men are reduced to "faux-women." The systemic erasure and the social advantages it protects remain unmistakably present even within mainstream gay and queer contexts, due to the added privilege-by-recognizability that a gender-conforming existence appeases, and the lingering Cuphobic/Gynarchophobic forces of their own community that work against them.
Across the entire spectrum of sexuality, the mere notion of finding a gender-nonconforming person solely and exclusively attractive immediately threatens the validity of the gender-conformist's own social standing and perceived gender quality. An explicitly queerphobic prejudice that effects those of "deviant" sexuality.
This mechanism places Feminine Virago at tricky crossroads: The gender-conforming girl exclusively attracted to gender-nonconforming, feminine boys, both feminine. Within a rigid framework, the combination of two feminine figures in a romantic partnership reads as inexplicably queer, just as the presence of a gender-nonconforming person—and a partner's sole, unwavering attraction to them—is fundamentally disruptive to heteronormativity. This makes navigating the social world tricky, which is precisely why these women are apart of the label. Ultimately, within this specific layer of marginalization, there exists a deeply queer expression of femininity that belongs uniquely to them. one defined by the rejection of the rigid archetypes society attempts to force upon their desire.
Oh! Sorry, yeah, your question. The isolation you feel likely stemmed from the proximity your gender quality has to mainstraight women. What's adding is the scarcity of resources (hence your ask) within our community for women like you.
I really hope this wasn't confusing. If you still have any questions, feel free to submit a follow up!!
its really sad that you can't convince people to actually care about gnc people and their struggles, not even ourselves to actually learn from other queer groups.
It's so tiring for people to just call someone a "femboy" "tomboy" or some other shitty fucking term or just genuinely subscribe to misogynistic incel fetishization.
Some of you guys are the most porn addicted, slimy, disgusting creatures I've layed eyes upon and you deserve eternal damnation for destroying the world for young genderqueer people inhabit.
Masculine Women and Feminine Men are QUEER. Their suffering matters. Their internal experiences matter. Their queerness needs to not depend on their sexuality.
its really sad that you can't convince people to actually care about gnc people and their struggles, not even ourselves to actually learn from other queer groups.
It's so tiring for people to just call someone a "femboy" "tomboy" or some other shitty fucking term or just genuinely subscribe to misogynistic incel fetishization.
Some of you guys are the most porn addicted, slimy, disgusting creatures I've layed eyes upon and you deserve eternal damnation for destroying the world for young genderqueer people inhabit.
Masculine Women and Feminine Men are QUEER. Their suffering matters. Their internal experiences matter. Their queerness needs to not depend on their sexuality.
Respectfully, I was physically gagged when I listened to this one song in my mixed playlist and got flashbanged with the most beautiful woman ever and the fact that he's a guy made it 1000% better
Respectfully, I was physically gagged when I listened to this one song in my mixed playlist and got flashbanged with the most beautiful woman ever and the fact that he's a guy made it 1000% better
