Ben understood Luke’s sacrifice
Luke knew he would die, and did it anyway.
How do we know Ben understood this? And why does it matter?
Luke Force projects himself on Crait to face Ben, in a Space Western like showdown, where dirt has become salt and stings the bleeding wounds of Ben’s psyche.
But Luke is not there to save him. No!
He actually says it twice, to Leia first, then to her son. He is there to admit his guilt to the person that was hurt the most by his actions. “I failed you Ben, I am sorry”
Facing Ben, means facing the tragic moment he thought he should kill his nephew and finally taking responsibility for ALL the consequences. He is giving Ben a chance to act on his anger in a cathartic and healing way as @huntedbyacreature explained, but doing so, he is also punishing, literally sacrificing himself, because he knows, this will kill him.
He is taking away the guilt that Ben could have felt if he had truly killed him, while still allowing him to release his resentment. Watch Kylo/Ben pouring all his hatred into striking Luke’s image, where he appears exactly the same as the day he raised his lightsaber to his nephew. Luke is not only taking Ben back to this moment, but himself too. He is accepting of his fate, by lowering his lightsaber this time.
At the end of the showdown, we see Ben realising:
‘that man’ is only a ghost image of his uncle.
As he understands this, he whispers ‘No’…
Ben knows that Luke is now dying.
During his first Force connection with Rey, when he sees her he says:
“You’re not doing this. The effort alone would kill you”
Ben knows that such Force projection is at the cost of one’s life!
I think this barely audible no, was not said in anger and frustration but in shock at understanding Luke’s sacrifice, which is meant to help Ben heal his wounds and compell him to face the guilt of killing his father.
A little more on the context: The entire planet is covered in salt layered over a bleeding like earth. The colour red is striking against the white mineral. Salt hurts when placed on a wound but is also used to disinfect and cleanse.
Salt is traditionally seen as a symbol of life, friendship and healing.
The planet is, in a way, a metaphor for guilt and the pain that has to be endured during the healing process.
So I am coming back to my theory that Kylo/Ben experiences an epiphany at the end TLJ.
He has cleansed the gaping wound that created Kylo Ren, therefore the healing process can start. He is now ready to face his own sins, instead of focusing on his anger and those who wronged him.
No more excuses. No one else to kill. Just him and his conscience.
But Redemption is coming…
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