[chief-rumbly-noises]

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[2vxq-moved-deactivated20210523]

a romantic scene in a book: our lips met and he tasted of cigarettes and coffee

me:

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

If you become a vampire do you automatically become a very sharp dresser or is that a skill that you develop over time. are there novice vampires meandering around in aeropostale shirts and khaki pants

[unpretty]

(Key & Peele - Sexy Vampires)

[dankmemeuniversity]

[ripndipcl]

[blcksprng]

:’(

[pentecost]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[melbrooks]

[nunyabizni]

I just died, this killed me

[lucifermorningnova-deactivated2]

I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

[tour-of-torterra]

My english teacher played the whole song in class once. I think he was trying to describe postmodernism. 

[viciousboobielicious]

Just remember that Mark Hamil showed this to Carrie Fisher and they both couldn’t stop laughing. Its Luke and Leia Approved

[sexhaver]

if i had to watch this bottle of water get cuckolded then so do you

[neo-soulless]

😧😧😧😧

[shrump-scampi]

thottled water

[adulthoodisokay]

it’s been fun, but i think it’s time to delete the internet forever

[ruinedchildhood]

[kingrudegyalchina]

Lmao bih

[emotionallyunbalancedcholo]

WTF! 😲

[momworries]

[luisonte]

[versacethotty]

me pretending to be busy at werk

[lordmeowdemort]

Marshmallow tacos

[noctomania]

just watch and you will understand

[ambris]

I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that

[official-daft-punk-deactivated2]

ok so the other day i was at sears. I was in the baby section. Im standing there looking at clothes and a lady who works there comes up and is like “oh are you expecting?” And i was like “uhhhh” and because im a dumbass i was like “no i already delivered.” And she was like “How long ago?” And i was just like “two weeks.” And she said “wow! You look great! When i had my first son, i looked like a mess for six months. Is it a boy or a girl?” And i was just awkwardly like “a girl….” And she asked her name and i said Chernobyl and she was like “oh what a cute name! It sounds really familiar.” And i honestly just stood there going through all that and pretending i had a human baby two weeks ago named Chernobyl because i didnt wanna tell this poor lady i was buying baby clothes for my fucking baby opossum

[itchiez-deactivated20221227]

every time i see this text post i forget the ending and every single time it decimates me

[8bitnatsuki-deactivated20200525]

hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year hell year

[taragrimface]

(from a 2015 interview)

i hope she’s comfortable

[hella-gay-trash]

Please don’t forget the best one so far^^^

[eiruriofidkewoeeifjjdis374738-d]

another example of Koko’s humour by Jane Goodall:

[autumngracy]

Nothing pleases me more than to learn the fact that apes also will look at a thing and go “it me”

[chimericaloutlier]

#hardsame

[sandandglass]

[lilobears]

[deadbeatmaker]

Not to be like “we live in a society” but I think a lot of people’s mental health would be significantly less fucked if they didn’t have to function in a system that forces them to think about their value as a human being as based on how productive they are/how much money people can make off them

[missedmyhearts-deactivated20210]

my last 2 brain cells

[lacapitaine-deactivated20120131]

[terriamon]

[skajador]

[nowaynoreason]

I wonder what I look like in your eyes.