ADHD and ME, a blog

something witty was supposed to here but I've already forgot it

[inkskinned]

on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five.  the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.

you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.  

maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -

“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”

[katzenmusik-blog1]

i don’t know whats wrong with me but it’s alot

[kartari]

i love my extremely emotional girls who feel everything very intensely

[titaniumheir-deactivated2023110]

ADHD things that NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT

-Getting frustrated at not being able to do something you want in the way you want it

-feeling so so tired and drained all the time

-getting overstimulated and not knowing what to do with yourself

-having so much noise in your head that you cant turn down or force away

-people complaining how loud or soft you talk and you cant explain that you have a hard time controlling it

-having a really hard time making friends and keeping them

-you can never find something that interests you for more than a week

-executive dysfunction is something that almost never goes away

-having days so bad you cannot get anything done or done well

-feeling so angry for seemingly no reason

-you cant get to sleep easily and staying asleep is even harder

-being the last person to finish a project almost all the time

-when you do find a special interest, youre made fun of for it so you lose interest

-Always forgetting things and coming across and uncaring

-just…the way people see you in general

-you’re really smart! Too bad you cant find a good way to exhibit your talents in a way that actually makes sense to you

-you have to be doing something else to pay attention (ex: drawing, fidgeting, etc etc)

-when theres too many people talking its so overwhelming

Theres more but…. Feel free to add it yourself if you can think of more

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

How to Deal with Insecurity in a Relationship

1. Take control of your thought life and focus on the truth. A lot of people become insecure because they imagine things falling apart. Stop imaging your partner being untrue to you, or becoming interested in someone else. Don’t let your fears create a false reality.

2. Let the relationship follow its own course. Allow yourself and your partner to simply be themselves, and to only commit what each is ready to commit. A good relationship is based on understanding and respect.

3. Don’t give into the urge to snoop around. Don’t start being sneaky, or acting in ways that make you seem suspicious or lacking in trust. That will only undermine your relationship.

4. Focus on being positive. Instead of using up your energy on feeling insecure – or in putting yourself down, or thinking of “what ifs”, try and think about the happy, good experiences you’ve shared.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others. We all have different strengths, personalities and gifts. Be proud of who you are – you are special and unique.

6. Don’t compare this relationship to previous relationships. Even where things have gone wrong in a past relationship, it doesn’t mean this partner is going to treat you badly. It’s a new chapter now – give your partner a fair chance.

[mi1k-wizard]

ADHD

ADHD causes a dysfunctional frontal-cortex; the part of our brains where “outside” information goes to be processed and is then acted upon. as information enters, it needs to be sorted and processed so that attention can be given to the most important information.

people with ADHD suffer from the inability to sort information easily, so the information from the outside floods your mind and you cant focus on anything because your brain doesnt know what to do with the information. your brain doesnt know how to make decisions.

when the brain cant sort tasks and make decisions, this can lead to issues like procrastination and communication problems. this causes overwhelm, worry, anxiety, and makes it hard to get even simple tasks done, which can cause even more stress and overwhelm.

just breathe. take your time. youre not lazy. recognize that your brain doesnt work like other people, and thats okay. others may get impatient but thats theyre problem, not yours. make lists, write stuff down. slow down. youll get there at your own pace.

[adhighdefinition]

this is something minor but i dislike how adhd makes you so super prone to oversharing. so you’re just sitting there, thinking ‘n’ feeling, and then there’s this almost uncontrollable urge to just bLURT IT OUT and this can really go from small secrets to huge personal issues which kinda sucks 

[screwfindingaurl]

OMG wait that’s an ADHD thing ?!

It’s me in a nutshell way to often..

[adhighdefinition]

of course it isn’t something that’s exclusive to adhd but i’d say it’s definitely more prevalent. adhd makes you impulsive so it’s no surprise that the tendency to blurt things out doesn’t stop when it comes to personal topics. so when others would think before they say something to consider how it could come across or if it really is something we wanna share with this person, well, our brains, as we all know, tend to skip this step and just….. go wild

[adhdstim]

If you have ADHD and do not know what RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) is, please look into it. I have even provided you with a link:

https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-how-to-treat-it-alongside-adhd/

Its effects ALMOST EVERYONE WITH ADHD and NOBODY talks about it.

[tatterdemalionamberite]

Mostly people talk about this with regards to social behavior, but I feel like it’s identical to the way I develop task aversions, and it’s really important to talk about and be aware of!

[adhdstim]

Oh heck yeah. I think it’s key when they mention that it can be triggered by a failure to live up to your OWN standards. Like… this is why I never write anymore.

[untitled4022]

I SECOND THIS. PLEASE LOOK INTO THIS, MY DUDES. Learning about RSD will make so much sense, trust me.

[chiefexecutivedisfunction]

My psychiatrist told me to not take my concerta for a bit in order to handle the panic attacks I was getting and so I took maybe too much time off and today I took my regular dose but also I had coffee and now I'm jittery as all hell and kind of freaking out and getting weepy and anxious and fuck this is so bad.

[galaxies-of-apple-trees]

Dark methylphenidate, show me the forbidden executive function

[fangirlgorrila-blog]

ADHD Problems

- What did they just say? - “I… Uh.. Forgot your name again.” “WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 4 YEARS.” - Focus, focus, focusy focusadoo foopa doopa doo la la la - “Walk the dog.” “Sure.” 10 minutes later “Did you walk the dog?” “What?” - Server: Enjoy your meal! me: You too! I mean. wait. what. sorry. no. - I forgot what I was talking about. - Why did I walk in here? - You’re so childish! - Getting distracted talking to yourself for hours on end (not an exaggeration) - Can’t you just HOLD STILL???

[dis-c0nnect-ed]

If you’re crying bc of the crushing weight of the reality that time is passing and the suffocating pressure that everything you’re doing is Not Enough™ and you know it clap your hands

[howilearnedtocope]

The secret about self esteem

You don’t actually have to love yourself to be happy, healthy, and stable. Here are some beliefs that you can work towards instead

- no one deserves bad treatment, including you - You deserve to be treated with self kindness & to meet you own physical and emotional needs - Physical appearance isn’t the most important thing, and even if you’re unattractive you deserve to be able to live your life without shame - that no one is expected to be perfect at everything they try, and that it’s ok to enjoy things you aren’t good at - It’s more interesting and fun to focus your thoughts outward on the world and other people than to think about how much you like or dislike yourself - That everyone makes mistakes and does embarrassing things, and that an embarrassing event might feel really terrible but it’s not actually a threat - It’s not worth obsessing over whether you are a good or bad person, bc those things don’t really exist. (There are only good & bad actions; humans are way too complex & ever changing to fit into black & white labels) - Your thoughts and emotions are as valid & team as anyone else’s

Basically, the goal with all of this is to accept that you can treat yourself with self compassion. It is going to be near impossible to be happy if you constantly tear yourself down, or if you don’t respect needs, but it’s definitely possible to be happy feeling pretty meh about it.

I recommend focusing on things you believe are true for all people, then working back to yourself (for example, that everyone deserves to be treated kindly, that physical appearance isn’t shameful, that everyone makes mistakes, etc). Make self kindness the goal. When you are being mean to yourself, remind yourself to be kinder. If you feel horrible about a mistake remember you are only human. And the rest of the time? Pour your energy into creating meaningful activities in your life. Make art, chase goals, call friends, read books, learn, create, engage. You will find the works is much bigger and brighter when you make room for something besides self criticism.

[sheeriouslysheerio]

I suggest everyone to read this

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

So often we try to make other people feel better by minimizing their pain, by telling them that it will get better (which it will) or that there are worse things in the world (which there are). But that’s not what I actually needed. What I actually needed was for someone to tell me that it hurt because it mattered. I have found this very useful to think about over the years, and I find that it is a lot easier and more bearable to be sad when you aren’t constantly berating yourself for being sad.

John Green (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[chiefexecutivedisfunction]

Mental illness is weird, I'm bubbly full of life, creative and energetic around my friends. I'm focused dilligent and a hard worker in my schedule. But alone and without a routine I'm a shell of a person I'm a boat bobbing through the sea. I need plans and appointments and other people to keep me focused. I need other peoples energy to carry mine on. Even knowing there are other people in my house gives me the drive to keep going, without them I fall into a void of nothingness, I cease to exist I cease to have purpose.

[howscandinavianofme-blog]

As a person with ADD, I'm sick of hearing about people using adderall/vyvanse/etc. for shits and gigles and ESPECIALLY as a study drug

Like, I have to take that shit to function as a normal human being. If I don’t take my Vyvanse every day, I feel listless and unfocused and foggy. Then I browse through the Vyvanse tag on Tumblr to see if people had any information/questions on taking it as a patient with AD(H)D and… well, it’s all people going “HAHA DUUUUDES I JUST TOOK LIKE 200 MG OF VYVANSE SO COOL I’M AN EDGY DRUG-USER” or “IT’S TIME FOR MIDTERMS, LOOK I JUST CRUSHED SOME ADDERALL AND I’M GONNA SNORT IT LOL”. I see it as both insensitive/trivializing and de-leveling the playing field for those of us with AD(H)D. The meds bring us up to the level of everyone else in certain fields, but then when people who don’t have AD(H)D and aren’t prescribed a medication… it’s like doping, especially when it comes to academics. And the simple recreational use of it makes me feel like, “well, your treatment is nothing more than a way to have fun”. I don’t know, I guess I can’t articulate it very well tonight, I’m just frustrated.

Also, seriously, if you’re not prescribed any sort of stimulant, THERE IS A REASON WHY. Your body doesn’t need or want that extra stimulation, and especially in those that don’t need it, it can give you really fun side effects like heart palpitations and panic attacks. When my doctor increased my dosage 20 mg, I had a heartrate of 112 BPM for three hours on the first day. TL;DR: DON’T TAKE AD(H)D STIMULANTS UNLESS YOU ARE PRESCRIBED THEM AND/OR HAVE AD(H)D. THE END. GOODBYE.

[chiefexecutivedisfunction]

I was at a fucking party last night and some girl tried to sell me and my friends vyayance and then told us to "spread the word" to our friends.

And I was like sure I'll spread the word that you're an asshole because seriously....

I have to take my meds every single day or else I'm a non functional blob. I don't take my meds to stay up really late and write my term papers, I take them to remember that I need to buy groceries, to able to focus on anything and to like not fail out of scrhool.

But whatever I'm glad you're having fun abusing my medication and trying to make money off it. Like this is the literal reason it's hard to get ADHD meds, it's why it took me months after I was diagnosed to get on meds that helped me. our meds are protected and really hard to get because of this abuse and I'm so ducking sick of it.

[sadbaffoon]

don’t feel bad for removing someone toxic out of your life just because their toxic behavior is due to a mental illness.