what is truly so heartbreaking about wwx’s slow and pivotal descent into madness is that he had lost his first family so young and survived on the streets begging for scraps of food and terrorized by dogs until he found himself another family, with an annoying nagging little brother who became his best friend and a protective big sister who doted and coddled and loved him so so much, even until her last dying breath, and despite how he must’ve grown up hearing all the comments of how he was the son of a servant, how his mother must’ve had an affair for clan leader jiang to favor him so much, he kept smiling and kept laughing because he had found a home and a family in yunmeng, and it was everything.
and then it was ripped from him yet again. his home, his people, massacred by a cruelty he never saw coming, leaving his best friend crippled, and his sister wasting away in worry and sadness, and he shouldered that blame and responsibility like a man who could not believe there was any other fault but his own. but despite it all, despite it all, despite sacrificing his most treasured, most revered golden core for his brother’s happiness, despite being beaten to death and dropped into actual purgatory for months, he rises from the ashes of his second family and finds a way to live. he’s more sarcastic now, more bitter, angrier, crueler, and his smile is less bright and doesn’t last long, but still, he finds a way because he has always been able to seek that brightness in an endless sea of darkness, so even at the risk of losing everything he has sacrificed his very soul to protect, he sticks to his morals and does the right thing because he’s been there, with no family, no home, only the kindness of a man who took him in.
he rebuilds again, with a pseudo-sister who yells and nags at him and sticks him with needles because he needs to rest, a dead brother who idolizes him, and the remnants of a dying clan who can’t understand why he saved them but ends up being loyal to him all the same. it’s a weird family, on the abandoned tabooed grounds of a dead man’s ambitions, but it’s his again. so even though he can’t attend his sister’s wedding, can’t stand fighting side by side with his brother, his best friend, can’t be with lwj, it’s okay, because the people he loves are safe and happy. until they’re not. until his family is once again torn away from him.
here was a child who was said to have been born smiling no matter how bad his situation got, who always found a way to exude a happiness and a wonder at a world that had been so unendingly cruel to him, and each time he rebuilt himself and his life and his family, it was ripped out of his hands.
here was a child who only ever wanted a family and a home, and the world said no. is it really any wonder he spiraled into madness?
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