I’m Ceylan Jones Now.

What do you want me to write here I’m literally just a guy. Been a while so I thought I’d update this bio, it’s gonna be like 2 years until I update it again so just generally know that I am here.

[chill4234-reblogs]

Fairly nervous to announce, but im gonna be doing my first artfight this year! Please follow and/or attack me. I’m on team comedy!

Art Fight

An art gifting game

[tlirsgender]

We need more women characters who are Male Protagonists. You know. Slightly haggard. She's splashing cold water on her face and gripping the edge of the sink staring in the mirror for a minute. She's coping badly with her deadwife

[tlirsgender]

Ok listen I get that people tagging posts with men is a rule of physics on this hellsite but it's kind of bizarre how badly some of you have failed the assignment on this one. A generic male protagonist archetype who is a man is nothing. That's just the normal cliche I'm talking about subverting. What?

[tlirsgender]

Like if you are For Serious headcanoning your blorbo as a trans woman I am kissing you on the head. But I KNOW most of you are not doing that. Come on. For one dollar name a fictional woman. No being a loser does not make him a woman try again

[magnoliamyrrh]

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

[tourfilm]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

[puppygirllaika]

police departments love to be like "we need more money to fight all the crime that's been happening lately" and they show a graph with crime going up at then you look into the numbers and it's like "the ten percent increase in crime was correlated with a ten percent increase in active policing hours" and it's like oh okay so the crime factory needs more money because the crime factory stayed open late to manufacture more crime in order to convince us to give more money to the crime factory. Where can I get off this carousel of misery?

[cloudabserk]

anything for my princess 🩵

[cloudabserk]

communist zohran forcing us to roast alive at 172F

[thealphapigeon]

I follow the "leave nothing but footprints take nothing but photos" rule of state/national parks yeah because conservation. But also because when I was 11 i read a short story about a girl who went to a museum and stole a bandage flake off a mummy on display with the mentality of "im just one person one piece won't be missed" then at night she was visited by the mummy and it plucked a single hair from her head and then the next night a different mummy took another hair and she realized that there were only so many pieces to her before there would be nothing left and that story was forever wedged in my brain. Anyways leave cool rocks where you find them or the mummies will get you

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[uptownthots]

“it isnt something you have to read critically” well 😭

[uptownthots]

this technically is true but I think this also perfectly encapsulates why I am inherently distrustful of like. “”cozy”” “turn your brain off” fiction lmfao. like okay WHO gets to turn their brain off and who has to suffer through bigoted caricatures of themselves while everyone else is having cozy silly no brain time 😐

[demilypyro]

have you heard about Denshattack? its amazing. it's like a skateboarding game but you're drifting a train car. it uses fighting-game style precision inputs. someone at one point describes a plane as "a flying train". its absurd and it's a fever dream and i love it.

you people really don't pay attention, huh.

[lunagaron]

[were--ralph]

Pee in a cup and leave it outside near ants - if they avoid it's probably not diabetes, if they seem interested, you might have sugar in your pee and should get checked out

what the fuck is this 1200's medical science 101

[spacecaptainglow]

As a specimen processor who checks body fluids for a living I can confirm this is a real, vaguely accurate ancient way of checking for diabetes that dates back at least to Pliny the Elder

[were--ralph]

no i know it's real but this isn't the middle ages I can literally go to the UC or ER if i need to?? why would i resort back to this

[were--ralph]

actually nvm the American healthcare system is absolutely too expensive you're right

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

it's cheap it's easy and it's free: giving urine samples to your ants

[cannibalcaprine]

K

[gumi-megpoidd]

U

[pepper-steak12]

N

[beetroot-merchant]

G

[four-two-six]

P

[ibuildblasters]

O

[shed-some-light]

W

[silaswhatever]

P

[beetroot-merchant]

U

[silly-gobbledygook-deactivated2]

S

[living-shifting-oil]

S

[asu-xu-namir]

Y

[star-mom-selkie]

[valtsv]

wearing two cursed amulets to manipulate them into competing with each other for ownership of my soul and unintentionally improving my life in their attempts to seduce me

[valtsv]

hiring two duplicitous advisors with opposing agendas to manipulate them into hatefucking each other in front of me while i fujo out about it

[valtsv]

it's not a "love triangle" it's a business opportunity with benefits

[seldomsee]

maybe this time🔥🔥🔥

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[overwhelmedfernfrond]

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

[venort]

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

[donthitanybody]

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

[i-might-be-vanny]