So I uh had to write something for this
It was supposed to be a normal date night. Curled on Kara’s comfy couch, snuggled close, the empty bow that once held popcorn abandoned on the floor. Kara, held in her arms, head resting on her chest. A normal night, yes, but perfect all the same.
Kara had been chewing on her lip all night, as if trying to work up the courage to say something. It worried Lena; she hadn’t seen Kara this nervous since she admitted she was Supergirl. But she figured they could get through whatever it was- they had worked through the Supergirl reveal, and now Kara’s fake glasses lay abandoned on the coffee table. Everything would be fine.
Lena wasn’t even paying attention to the movie anymore when Kara took a deep breath and turned around. She gently grabbed Lena’s face, cradling it, and leaned in for a gentle kiss.
Lena smiled as the pulled apart. “What was that for?”
Kara met her eyes, her own being soft and caring. “Because I love you.”
Lena felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over her. No. No, Kara couldn’t care about her that deeply. For one thing, Kara was a Super. She was a Luthor. Them being friends was already pushing it, and their dates were pushing it even further.
And even if Lena let herself admit she felt the same way- her love destroyed people. She could count on one hand the amount of people she really and genuinely cared for, and one was dead and the other had deteriorated into xenophobic insanity and was behind bars.
So she froze. Her fingers turned stiff in Kara’s hair, her other hand turning rigid at her girlfriend’s hip. Kara noticed her change, of course she did, and seemed to freeze up as well.
“I-it’s ok if you dint feel the same, I know how hard stuff like this is for you, but I do, I really do, and I’ve been wanting to tell you for a while now-”
“No.” Lena cut her off in a strangled whisper, barely holding back tears. “Y-you can’t.”
That seemed to shut Kara up. It even looked like it hurt her- Lena could see tears starting to form in her eyes. Further proof you hurt everyone you love. Lena thought bitterly to herself.
Finally, Kara spoke. “W-what?”
Lena swallowed. “You can’t love me. Please, Kara, anyone but me. You deserve so much better, a-and I hurt everyone I love, and I can’t hurt you, please.”
Kara’s eyes widened for a split second, and then she melted. “Lena, I’m not going anywhere. You’re not gonna hurt me, I promise.”
“Maybe not on purpose.” She stated thickly. “But everyone I love ends up with a bad end.”
Kara took her hands. “Lena, what happened to Jack and Lex was not your fault, ok?” She kissed each of her individual fingers, a ritual they had begun when Lena had her first panic attack in Kara’s presence. It calmed her, grounded her. “You loving me isn’t going to make me turn evil, and it’s not going to get me killed.” A chuckle. “It’s not exactly easy to kill me.”
“B-but I could’ve turned you evil. The Kryptonite I made? I didn’t even know Lorde had tried it, and it turned you evil, and then I made Kryptonite. What if I got it wrong? What if-”
“But you didn’t.” Kara stated. “If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is. And Lena? I’m so, so sorry for how I reacted to that.”
“You’ve already apologized a thousand times for that, Kara.” Lena noticed she had the ghost of a smile on her face, and the knot of anxiety was slowly uncurling. “I forgive you.”
“I know.” Kara mumbled. “I still feel bad, though.”
Lena laughed, and for the first time in a while she thought that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if she let herself love someone. She knew as well as anyone Kara wouldn’t be corrupted by anything less that Red Kryptonite, and she was pretty capable of defending herself. So she took a deep breath and let her reservations fall away. “You promise you won’t be mad if you do end up getting hurt? Because, dammit, I love you too.”
Kara smiled, bright as the sun that gave her powers. “I could never be mad at you, Lena.” And she leaned in for the umpteenth kiss that evening, and not the last by any means.
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