The bells of Jerusalem rang so loud the stones themselves seemed to vibrate. The whole city, noble and commoner alike, crowded into the great square, filling every balcony, every rooftop, every step of every staircase. Flowers showered from windows. Banners in gold and white fluttered from the towers.
It was the day they had all waited for. The day the young king married the woman who had stolen his heart long before he ever wore a crown.
Inside the courtyard of the palace, I stood at the top of the long steps leading down to the open square where the ceremony platform waited. My dress was simple for a queen, cream and gold, embroidered by the women who had raised me, but it looked like something sacred.
When the trumpets sounded, the crowd silenced as if the world held its breath.
I stepped forward. The moment I appeared, a wave of sound rose like thunder.
“Isabella! Isabella! Beautiful Lady!”
“Our queen!” someone shouted from somewhere deep in the crowd, making laughter ripple everywhere.
I flushed, but smiled, that bright, warm smile that made people feel I was one of them. I lifted a hand and blew a kiss toward the noise, which only made the cheering grow even louder.
But my eyes were fixed ahead. On Baldwin.
He stood beneath the arch of woven olive branches, dressed in white and silver armor polished for the occasion. The sun lit his brown hair, the golden mantle across his shoulders, and the quiet, steady pride in his posture.
But when he saw me approaching, slowly, gracefully, step by step, something in him softened visibly. His lips curved into a smile meant only for me.
When I reached him, he took both my hands immediately, his thumbs brushing lightly over my knuckles. I brushed his hands too carefully, first signs of his illness started showing in his hands.
“I think the people like you more than their king,” he whispered, eyes playful.
I raised a brow. “Should I be worried this marriage is only political?”
He leaned in just slightly. “Not political. Desperate.”
I laughed under my breath, squeezing his hands. “Desperate for what?”
“For you,” he whispered, softly enough that only I could hear.
The High Patriarch stepped forward, lifting his staff. The crowd fell silent again, though me and Baldwin never once looked away from each other.
The priest spoke, but we barely heard him. Our world had narrowed to two sets of hands joined tightly, and two hearts pounding enough to fill our ears.
“Do you, Baldwin, son of Amalric, take this woman, Isabella, to be your lawful wife, your partner in rule, your comfort in sorrow, and your joy in life?”
Baldwin looked at me with such tenderness it almost broke me.
“I do. With all that I am.”
My breath caught.
“And do you, Isabella, take Baldwin, King of Jerusalem, as your husband, to stand beside him, to counsel him, to honor him, and to love him all the days of your life?”
I swallowed softly and said, without hesitation:
“I do. With my whole heart.”
The priest handed us two rings, gold, carved with the sigils of the families. Baldwin slid mine onto my finger slowly, reverently. When I slid his onto his hand, my thumb lingered on his skin.
A murmur passed through the crowd at the intimacy of the gesture.
“By the grace of God,” the Patriarch announced, “you are husband and wife. King and queen.”
Baldwin didn’t wait. He cupped my face with both hands and kissed me, deeply, fiercely, lovingly.
The crowd erupted. Cheers shook the heavens. Women cried. Men hammered fists on shields. Children shouted our name.
When we finally pulled apart, both breathless and smiling, we stayed forehead-to-forehead for a moment, lost in our own world.
Then Baldwin whispered teasingly:
“Face the people, my love, before they think we’ve forgotten them entirely.”
I laughed and slipped my arm through his. Behind us, attendants placed the crowns, heavy, radiant, onto our heads.
“Long live the King and Queen!”
“Long live Baldwin and Lady Isabella!”
“Isabella, you are too beautiful! Marry me instead!” someone shouted again.
I grinned, tossed my hair lightly, and blew another kiss to the troublemaker. Baldwin glanced at the crowd, smirking.
“Careful,” he called out in a playful warning, “she’s mine now.”
The laughter of the city rose like music.
┄
The celebration took place in the central square, lit with lanterns and lined with tables overflowing with bread, roasted lamb, fruits, dates, honey cakes, and wine.
Baldwin and I walked among the people, not above them, talking, laughing, sharing food offered by villagers, dancing with children. My hand never left his arm.
As evening fell, musicians began to play, and Baldwin pulled me gently into the center of the square.
“Dance with me, my queen.”
“Always.”
We moved together easily, effortlessly, my hand on his chest, his hand at my waist. The people cheered every time he twirled me, every time I laughed.
“Lady! Beautiful Lady!” someone shouted again.
I looked over, laughing, and made a playful bow of my head.
Baldwin raised a brow at the crowd. "You keep praising her like this, and I may start getting jealous.”
The crowd roared with laughter.
“You? Jealous?” I looked up at him teasingly.
He leaned closer. “Of anyone who looks at my wife the way I do.”
My heart melted a little at that. Wife.
┄
At last, the celebrations faded. The people drifted home. The palace grew quiet again.
Baldwin led me to our chamber, warm, softly lit by fire, the table set with fruit, wine, sweet pastries, figs dipped in honey. I laughed softly.
“They prepared a feast for two.”
“They know my wife eats as fiercely as she fights.” he said, lifting a grape to my lips.
I bit it, smiling.
We settled by the fire, wrapped in each other’s arms, sharing wine and fruit, speaking in low voices, laughing softly, whispering everything we hadn’t been able to say in public.
My head rested on his shoulder.
“We don’t have to feel guilty anymore,” I teased. “About… all the things we did before this.”
Baldwin grinned against my hair. “God will be relieved, I think.”
“You’re hopeless...” I slapped his arm playfully.
“Hopelessly in love with you, perhaps.”
I blushed, leaning up to kiss him softly.
That kiss deepened. His hand slid gently along my jaw, mine around his neck. The world grew quieter, smaller, warmer. The fire crackled as if in approval.
When he whispered, “Come here,” and lifted me in his arms, I laughed breathlessly against his throat.
He carried me to the bed, still kissing me, still smiling against my skin.
Nothing more needs to be said. We lay wrapped in each other, my head on his chest, his fingers tracing slow circles on my arm. I kissed his collarbone sleepily, and he held me closer.
“Wife,” he whispered, trying the word out.
“Husband.” I smiled drowsily.
He exhaled, content. “Sleep, my heart.”
And we did, tangled together, safe, warm, and completely ours.
The campus was already getting dark when I finally walked out of the university building, a bag full of papers digging into my shoulder. I was exhausted. Not dramatic exhausted, just properly worn out, the kind where your eyes burn a bit and every sound feels louder than usual.
I pushed my hair back with one hand, already mentally listing everything I still had to do that night. Revise the different theories. Finish the statistics assignment and the final project. Answer emails. Prepare the presentation. Sleep maybe three hours before the exam. These final weeks of university were gonna kill me.
My boots hit the pavement slowly as I headed toward the exit of the campus. Then I saw him.
Pete was leaning against the black railings outside the campus gates, hands in his coat pockets, looking entirely too comfortable for someone waiting in the freezing London evening. The second he spotted me, his whole face changed.
I blinked in surprise. “...Pete?”
He grinned lazily. “Alright, baby?”
The tiredness left my face instantly. “Oh my God.”
I crossed the pavement quickly and practically threw myself at him. Pete laughed softly as he caught me against him, arms wrapping around my waist immediately.
“Easy girl...” he murmured into my hair.
I hugged him tighter, burying my face into his chest for a second.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“Supposed to be a surprise, wasn’t it?”
“You idiot,” I muttered affectionately. “I missed you.”
“Yeah?” he smirked. “Could tell. Nearly cracked me ribs.”
I looked up at him finally, black eyeliner slightly smudged from the long day, silver rings cold against his coat as I kept my hands on him. Then Pete reached into his coat dramatically.
“Got somethin’ for ya.”
I raised an eyebrow. “If that’s another stolen traffic cone...”
“Oi.”
He pulled out a single dark red rose from inside his coat. Immediately my expression softened.
“Oh…”
Pete watched my face carefully, smug already. I took the flower carefully like it was something fragile. “You brought me a rose…”
“Course I did.”
I smiled tiredly but genuinely, running my thumb over the petals.
It wasn’t unusual. Pete gave me flowers randomly all the time. Sometimes after matches, sometimes after fights, sometimes because he passed a shop and thought I’d like them. Once he’d shown up with dying supermarket tulips and said, dead serious, “They looked depressed. Reminded me of you during exam week.”
But still. I loved it every time.
“You’re cute,” I murmured.
“Don’t say that too loud.”
I laughed softly. Then Pete tilted his head slightly.
“So…” he said casually. “Any chance me girlfriend’s got a free hour tonight for me?”
Immediately my face fell apologetically. “Oh, Pete…”
“Ah. Here we go.”
“No listen, seriously, I’m dying this week.” I adjusted the heavy bag on my shoulder. “I’ve got the exam tomorrow, two assignments due, I had classes all day, and I literally took time off work at the bar tonight just to survive all this...”
Pete nodded solemnly like a disappointed father. “Right tragic.”
“I’m serious.”
“I can tell.”
“I haven’t slept properly in like four days.”
“Yeah,” he said, looking at my face carefully. “Can tell that too...”
I rolled my eyes and hit his chest lightly with the rose.
“But like… maybe we can grab food quickly? Or somethin’? I just genuinely have so much to do tonight...”
Pete stared at me for a second, fighting a grin.
"So that's it?"
"Pete, I..."
"I know, I know..."
"I promise after tomorrow I'm all yours..."
Pete smirked, "That bad? I can't even nick an hour today?"
I sighed, looking down, thinking. He was making it difficult because there was nothing more I wanted than to be with him after weeks apart.
“Come on, darlin'. Not even for today?”
I frowned slightly. “What d’you mean?”
Pete just looked at me for a second before casually reciting the date.
Silence. I froze.
Then my eyes widened. “Oh my God.”
Pete burst out laughing instantly.
“No no no...” I grabbed his coat with both hands, horrified. “Pete I forgot...”
“You absolutely forgot.”
“I thought it was next week!”
“Mhmm.”
“Oh my God.”
I actually looked devastated now, immediately hugging him again tightly.
“I’m so sorry, baby, I swear to God I knew it was around now...”
Pete was already laughing against my hair, one hand rubbing slowly up and down my back.
“Relax.”
“No because that’s awful...”
“Jade...”
“I completely forgot our anniversary.”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
I groaned into his chest dramatically. “I’m the worst girlfriend alive.”
“Nah.”
“Yes I am.”
“Nah,” he repeated calmly. “You’re just stressed out of your skull.”
I pulled back enough to look at him properly.
“You’re not upset?”
Pete shrugged lightly. “I just wanted to see ya. Seeing ya now, ain’t I?”
“But still...”
“You reckon I care more about some date than makin' sure you're alright?”
My expression softened immediately. God. This man.
“Anyway. I reckoned there was a pretty decent chance you'd forget.”
“Pete!”
“So I came prepared emotionally.”
I laughed despite myself, wiping at my face tiredly.
“You’re annoyingly understanding.”
“Yeah well. One of us has to be mature.”
“That is objectively not true.”
“Shut up.”
He kissed my forehead quickly. Then I sighed.
“Okay. I really do need to study…”
“I know.”
“But…” I hesitated, then looked at him hopefully. “You could come back with me? To the flat?”
Pete raised an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”
“I’ll study for a bit and if you don’t mind waiting…” I smiled sheepishly. “We can have dinner together? And you stay over?”
Pete pretended to think deeply. “Hm... Dunno. Sounds like you're just tryin' to get me into your bed.”
“Pete.”
“Shameless, you are..."
I smiled at that pushing him a little, "Come on..."
"Well when you put it like that…”
I smiled immediately. “Yeah?”
“Course, darlin'.”
┄
By the time we reached my flat, I was already leaning against him while walking.
The flat was loud as usual. Music from someone’s speaker. Dishes in the sink. Someone laughing too hard in the kitchen.
The second we entered, Clara, my flatmate, was sitting on the sofa with tea and revision notes spread around her.
Her eyes immediately landed on Pete. Then on the rose. Then back to me.
“Well,” she said dryly, “Interesting timing. During exam season.”
I already sighed. We didn't have the best relationship. Pete stayed quiet beside me, amused.
Clara crossed her legs. “Bit distracting, isn’t he?”
I dropped my bag near the door.
“I dunno, Clara. I don’t judge your emotional dependency on chocolate, do I?”
Pete immediately covered his mouth to hide a laugh. Clara stared at me. I smiled sweetly.
Clara rolled her eyes dramatically, “Unbelievable.”
“Love you too,” I replied casually, already grabbing Pete’s hand and pulling him upstairs.
The second we got into my room, Pete shut the door behind us. Then looked at me.
“You evil little thing.”
“You loved it.” I grinned.
“Bit.”
He pulled me gently by the waist until I stood between his knees where he sat on the edge of the bed. Then he looked up at me quietly for a moment.
"God, I missed you..." he whispered. The rings on my fingers, the messy dark hair, the tired eyes trying so hard to stay awake.
Pete rested his forehead briefly against my stomach. “You alright, then?”
“Just tired.” I exhaled softly.
“You’ve been pushin’ yerself too hard.”
“I know.”
“You eaten properly?”
“…Define properly.”
He looked up immediately. “Jade...”
“I’ve had coffee.”
Pete groaned dramatically. “You’re unbelievable.”
I laughed quietly, fingers moving through his hair. “Sorry.”
He kissed my stomach through my shirt, smirking. “Right. Study, then food. I’ll try to behave, darlin'.”
“You? Behave?”
“Don’t ruin me reputation, love.”
┄
For the next hours, I studied at my desk while Pete stayed on my bed. At first he watched television quietly. Then after a couple of hours, he got bored and started distracting me every ten minutes.
“You still alive over there?”
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Blink twice if those papers are holding ya hostage.”
“Pete...” I laughed, but tried to keep going.
Later he tossed one of my socks at my head.
Then he started reading parts of my textbook aloud in a ridiculous posh accent until I laughed so hard I nearly cried. At one point I looked over and found him already watching me.
“What?” I asked quietly.
“Nothin’.”
“You’re staring.”
“Allowed to.” I smiled automatically.
Eventually we ordered cheap takeaway and sat cross-legged on the bed eating noodles from cartons while some awful reality show played quietly in the background.
Pete stole food off my fork constantly. I complained constantly. Neither actually meant it. Then after dinner, Pete leaned down beside his bag casually. “Oh yeah...”
“What?” I looked over.
“Got the rest of your present.”
My eyebrows lifted. “You already brought me a flower.”
“That weren’t the actual present, love.”
Pete pulled out two tickets carefully. I stared. Then stared harder.
“…No.”
Pete grinned immediately. “No?”
“No way.”
He handed them over. The exact concert I’d wanted to go to for months. The one that had sold out almost instantly. My mouth actually fell open.
“Pete.”
“Mhm.”
“How the hell did you get these?”
“Know people.”
“You do not know people.”
“Bit offended by that actually.”
I looked genuinely shocked. “Oh my God.”
Pete watched my face fondly as I read the tickets again like they might disappear. “You remembered…”
“Course I did.”
I suddenly looked guilty again. “And I forgot us...”
Pete groaned. “Are we seriously still doin’ this?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Love...”
“No because you got me this and I forgot the date entirely and...” Pete cut me off by pulling me into his lap suddenly.
I laughed softly in surprise, arms wrapping around his neck automatically.
“There,” he murmured. “Better.”
“You’re using physical affection to manipulate me.”
“Yeah.”
“It’s working.”
“Good.”
He kissed me slowly then, soft and familiar and warm. Not rushed. Not dramatic.
When we pulled apart, I looked at him quietly for a second. Then I suddenly leaned over to my desk drawer.
“Wait...”
Pete watched curiously as I pulled out folded papers tied loosely with black ribbon.
“What’s that then?”
I looked embarrassed suddenly. “It’s not finished...”
“Dangerous start.”
“I was writing you something for the anniversary.”
Pete’s expression softened immediately.
“Jade…”
“But I thought we still had more time so it’s messy and half unfinished and some pages are literally crossed out...”
“Lemme see.”
I handed it over reluctantly. Pete read quietly while I watched nervously from beside him. It wasn’t polished. Half letter, half rambling thoughts. Little memories. Things I loved about him. Descriptions of nights together. Train stations. Pub songs. His laugh. The way he always reached for me in his sleep.
Pete read all of it silently. Then looked up at me.
“You wrote all this?”
I shrugged shyly. “Bit cringe, innit.”
“Nah.”
He folded it carefully, “This is better than any present.”
I looked at him suspiciously. “You say that now until I buy you a PlayStation.”
“That’d still be second place.”
I smiled helplessly. God. Pete touched my cheek gently.
“You know what my favourite thing is?”
“What?”
“That after all these years…” his grin turned mischievous suddenly, “you still get all nervous givin’ me romantic stuff.”
“Oh shut up.”
“You do.”
“I do not.”
“You’re blushin’ right now.”
“That’s because you keep looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you’re flirting with me.”
Pete laughed softly. “Baby, I'm flirtin' with ya.”
I hit his chest lightly again.
Then somehow we ended up tangled together under the blankets, talking quietly while the city outside went dark. Kissing lazily between conversations.
Pete tracing shapes on my waist beneath my hoodie. Me playing with the rings on his fingers.
At one point he murmured playfully against my neck, “Still can’t believe you forgot our anniversary.”
I groaned dramatically into the pillow. “I’m never escaping this, am I?”
“You're never escapin' me, love.”
“You’re evil.”
“A bit, yeah.”
Then quieter, teasing against my skin:
“Looks like I’ll have to think of another way to make you apologise, eh?"
I immediately laughed into his shoulder. “Oh my God.”
“What?”
“You’re unbelievable.”
“Yeah,” Pete smirked softly, pulling me closer. “But you love me though.”
The corridors of the palace were silent when I returned. The air was heavy with the warmth of the desert night, and every torch along the stone walls seemed to flicker in anticipation as I passed. My steps echoed softly, the silk of my gown whispering against the marble.
It had been months, too many months, since I had last walked this path. All the time I have been away helping my father felt like eternity without him. Too many nights of letters unanswered, of wondering what face my husband now showed to the world… or if he showed any at all.
I heard about the iron mask, the gloves, the stillness. When we parted he already wore a veil to hide hald of his face where the ilness got to him. But it seems it only got worse.
When I reached the end of the long corridor, the guards straightened. Two Templar knights in white cloaks barred the door.
“His Majesty is not receiving visitors,” one of them said gently, though his tone carried the steel of duty.
I lifted my chin, though my voice was soft. “He will.”
They hesitated, glanced at each other, then stepped aside, after all none dared to refuse the queen. The door opened without ceremony.
Inside, the chamber was dimly lit. Candles burned low on tall iron stands, their flames bending with the faint breeze from the open window. The scent of myrrh and smoke lingered in the air.
Baldwin stood near the far side of the room, his back half-turned. The silver mask caught the candlelight like a mirror, and for a moment, I saw my own reflection, pale, trembling and uncertain, in the cold gleam of it.
He did not speak right away. When he finally did, his voice came muffled and distant through the mask.
“Bella…”
I smiled faintly, though my heart ached at the sound of him calling my name. I crossed the room in three slow steps, as if moving too fast might break something fragile between us.
“I’ve been trying to reach you all day,” I said softly. “They kept telling me you were busy. Or resting. Or… unavailable.”
He turned then, fully. The mask was exquisite, smooth, expressionless, terrible in its beauty. Beneath the candlelight, the hollows of his eyes looked like deep wells.
I took a slow step closer. Then another. The air felt heavy, almost sacred.
“When I left,” I said, “you still showed your face. You smiled. I remember you smiled when you kissed me goodbye.”
He lowered his head slightly.
“When you left,” he murmured, “I still had a face that could be kissed.”
“You still have one,” I whispered.
He gave a sound, not quite laughter, not quite grief. I reached for his hand. He hesitated. Just a fraction of a second. Then he let me.
My fingers closed around the leather of his glove, warm beneath. I squeezed gently, as if reminding him I was real. That we were.
“You didn’t write about this,” I said, my voice steady but low. “The mask. The gloves.”
“No,” he replied “I didn’t want to.”
I looked up at him, really looked. The iron hid his face, but it couldn’t hide the tension in his shoulders, the way his breath seemed measured, careful. I tightened my grip on his hand.
“I don’t care,” I said, for me he was the same man as before his ilness got worse.
He shook his head once.
“You say that now. But you haven’t seen me. Not like this.” His voice roughened, “I see how people look at me when they think I can’t tell. Fear. Discomfort. Pity...” A pause, “I don’t want that from you.”
I stepped closer until there was barely any space between us. "I'm not scared of you,... I don't pity you..."
I squeezed his hand harder. He laughed quietly, a hollow sound.
“It is I who pity you now. You deserve more than this broken thing I have become.” he said.
“Enough,” I whispered, he fell silent. “Do not speak that way, you are not broken.”
A long silence followed. The wind stirred the curtains, and somewhere in the distance, a bell tolled.
Slowly, deliberately, I lifted his hand between us and looked at him, searching his eyes.
“May I?” I asked, nodding faintly toward his gloves.
He studied my face for a long moment. Then he nodded.
I exhaled softly, almost reverently, and began to unfasten the leather. My movements were careful, unhurried, as if each second mattered.
When the glove came free, I didn’t react. I simply held his bare hand. Cradled it. My thumb traced the skin gently, naturally, as if this were the most normal thing in the world. His breath caught.
I removed the other glove just as tenderly, brushing my fingers over his knuckles, his palm. Then my hand rose. I stopped just short of his face, of the mask.
Then I said, almost in a whisper, “Let me see you.”
He froze. The room itself seemed to still.
“No,” he said, barely audible. “You do not know what you ask.”
“I do,” I answered. “And I ask it because I love you. Because I have missed you, not this mask, not the king... you.” My voice wavered, “Please.”
For a moment, Baldwin said nothing. Then I saw his shoulders rise and fall, a long, weary breath. Slowly, he nodded.
I lifted my hands. My fingers brushed against the cool edge of the mask. The metal felt foreign, lifeless, nothing like the man beneath it. Cool. solid.
I lifted it away with infinite care. Baldwin closed his eyes.
When the mask came away, I drew in a breath. The candlelight fell gently across his face. Pale, scarred, the marks of his illness visible, cruelly so. But his eyes… his eyes were still my love’s: blue and clear, full of sorrow and pride.
He turned his face slightly, as if to hide.
“Now you see,” he said, his voice raw. “This is what remains of the man you married.”
But I reached out, my hand trembling only once before I touched his cheek. The skin was uneven, rough beneath my fingers. Still, I touched him as I always had, tenderly, reverently.
“There you are,” I murmured.
His eyes opened, searching my face desperately. “You’re not afraid?” he asked.
I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
“No,” I whispered and touched my forehead with his.
“You are still him,” I whispered “Still my husband. My king. The man I chose. The man I love.” My voice trembled just slightly, “You don’t become a stranger just because your body is hurting.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, I thought he would step back. Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned faintly into my touch.
“You should not do this,” he murmured.
“Why?”
“Because I am afraid to feel hope again,” he said “I was so afraid you’d look at me and see only this.”
I shook my head gently.
“I see the boy who surprised me in a quiet place,” I said “the king who chose mercy, the man who still looks at me like I’m home...”
A tear slipped from beneath the iron’s absence. I brushed it away with my thumb. “I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered.
The silence that followed was heavy, but no longer cold. I moved closer, close enough that I could feel his breath, the faint tremor of him. My hand slid from his cheek to the back of his neck, and I drew him gently into an embrace.
For a long time, neither spoke. I felt the slow, uneven rhythm of his heart beneath the layers of cloth and armor. He held me as though afraid I might vanish.
He let out a long, unsteady breath, part sigh, part release.
When at last he drew back, his eyes glistened faintly in the candlelight. He looked at me as though seeing me for the first time in years.
“You make me believe,” he said quietly, “that even a dying king can still be loved.”
The party was in full swing. Music echoed through the Mikaelson compound. Nobles, vampires, witches, people filled the courtyard. Everyone smiling. Everyone pretending.
Kol stood near one of the balconies, trying very hard not to murder anyone. This wasn't his kind of party.
I leaned against one of the tables, a champagne glass resting in my hand as the warm night breeze toyed with my dark hair.
For a moment our eyes met and I smiled faintly. For weeks we'd been working together on a plan. The dagger. Creating the one thing that could finally put Klaus down. Not forever. Just long enough.
Long enough for everyone else to breathe. Long enough for Rebekah to make her own choices. Long enough for Kol to stop living under his brother's thumb.
And I supported it completely. Not because I hated Klaus. But because I loved Kol. And I was tired of watching Klaus dagger him whenever he became inconvenient.
During Klaus's speech, the atmosphere shifted. I noticed immediately. So did Kol.
Klaus raised a glass, smiling far too calmly. "My dear friends," he announced.
Across the courtyard, Kol immediately stiffened. I looked toward him. His expression had gone completely blank, dangerous.
Klaus continued speaking. Talking about betrayal, family, trust.
One thing was clear, Rebekah had talked. The plan we made, the trust we’d placed in her. Everything went wrong.
Kol turned and walked inside. Elijah followed. A few moments later, Klaus did too. I was already moving before I even realized it.
When I reached the hallway, Elijah had Kol pinned in a chokehold while Klaus held the dagger.
My stomach dropped. "No..."
Kol immediately twisted against Elijah’s grip, trying to break free. Trying to fight, to run. But Elijah was stronger. Klaus approached slowly towards Kol.
I stepped between them without thinking.
"Witch..." Klaus said with a mocking smirk.
"You dagger him every time he disagrees with you!" I moved closer to him. "You are not putting that dagger in him."
Klaus looked entirely unimpressed. Because this wasn't the first time. Every previous daggering had followed the same pattern. I fought. I searched. I plotted. Eventually I found Kol. Every. Single. Time. Not again.
Before I could reach Kol, Klaus grabbed me. Hard. I immediately struggled against him. "Let me go!"
"No."
Magic flared around me, but Klaus only tightened his grip. "Lilith..."
"Let me go!"
His eyes darkened, his expression slowly changed. And Kol immediately knew something was wrong.
"Lils..." For the first time that night, genuine fear crossed his face. He knew that look, Klaus wasn’t planning to hurt him. He was planning to hurt her.
Klaus's voice lowered, with a frighteningly calm. "Lilith, look at me."
"Don't..." Kol moved instantly. Elijah stopped him before he'd taken two steps.
Everything happened fast after that. Klaus caught my face. And Kol felt genuine panic for the first time in decades. "No!"
I froze. My eyes glazed slightly. Klaus looked directly at Kol before turning back to me. Cruel.
"You will forget Kol Mikaelson."
Kol stopped struggling, his face went completely white. For one horrible second, the world seemed to stop.
I blinked. Confused.
"You will forget your relationship with him."
"No," Kol whispered.
"You will forget the life you lived beside him. You will forget your closeness to the Mikaelsons. You will forget the love you felt for him."
"Lilith..." Kol's hands curled into fists.
I didn't react. Because I couldn't. Entire centuries were slipping away. Memories disappearing one by one.
"You will move forward. You will not look for him."
My eyes filled with tears I didn't understand.
"Love..." Kol's voice broke.
"You will remember none of it." Klaus finished.
And then... Nothing. The connection vanished from my face. Gone. Just gone.
The silence afterward felt unbearable.
Kol had survived a thousand years. War. Death. Mikael. Betrayal. None of it hurt like that.
"Lils?"
Nothing.
Then Klaus seized the moment. The dagger slid into Kol's chest. The world vanished. And he barely felt it.
➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵➵
2010s
The Mikaelson mansion glowed with candlelight and orchestral music. Elegant. Expensive. Threatening. I adjusted the dark gloves on my hands as I stepped inside beside Damon.
“You know,” Damon muttered, glancing around, “this house makes me feel like someone’s about to either seduce me or murder me.”
“Probably both.” I scanned the ballroom slowly. Something about this place felt… strange.
Kol spotted me before I spotted him. I was standing beside Damon. Dark hair. Black dress. Magic lingering around me like always. Alive. Beautiful. And looking at him like a complete stranger. He almost laughed. Because of course. Of course that would be the first thing he got after a century in a coffin.
Damon noticed him first.
"Oh good. Tiny psycho's here." He grabbed two glasses of champagne and handed one to me. “And he's currently burning a hole through your skull…”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Before Damon could answer, a voice interrupted.
“Hey,” Kol stood beside us now, close enough that I could see the faint amusement in his eyes. “We haven’t formally met.”
His gaze never left mine. Not once. As if Damon didn't exist.
"Damon Salvatore." He extended his hand, Kol ignored it completely. "Have we met?" Damon asked.
"I’ve met a lot of people, and you don’t particularly stand out."
Damon looked offended. I looked entertained.
Then Kol's eyes found mine again. And something in my chest twisted painfully.
“Anyways,...” His lips curved into a smirk, “Here I thought Mystic Falls had run out of beautiful women.”
Something twisted painfully in my stomach. God. Those eyes. Why did they feel familiar?
Kol extended his hand lazily towards me. “Kol Mikaelson.”
I placed my hand in his carefully and he lifted it to his lips. The second he touched me, my breath caught. His thumb brushed once against my knuckles subtly before letting go.
Damon gagged dramatically.
I pulled my hand back. Suddenly wanting distance. I grabbed Damon's arm and began walking away. Leaving Kol standing there. Still watching me. Still smiling.
"Why is he like that?" I asked Damon.
Damon answered immediately, "British and a Mikaelson."
┄
Standing near one of the columns, I watched couples dance. Then suddenly Kol appeared beside me.
"You look disappointed."
I rolled my eyes.
Kol smiled. Even if I didn't know why I found myself smiling back.
"You dislike parties."
I frowned. "How do you know that?"
Kol immediately recovered. "I have eyes."
I narrowed mine. “Right.”
But the truth was much simpler. He knew. Because he'd spent centuries watching me sneak away from them.
The music shifted. Couples moved across the ballroom. Kol extended his hand toward me. I looked down at it. Then back at him.
"No."
"Why not?"
"I don't trust you."
"Fair."
A pause.
"One dance."
"No."
"Half a dance."
"That's not a thing."
"It can be, if we commit to the idea."
I laughed. Accidentally. Kol smiled immediately. Like he'd just won a battle no one else knew was being fought.
┄
Throughout the evening he kept appearing beside me. During dances. Conversations. Drinks. Everywhere. Always teasing lightly. Always smiling. Always acting as though this was perfectly normal. While quietly, relentlessly, it was destroying him that I didn't remember.
During one of the partner changes, I somehow ended up dancing with him. I narrowed my eyes and I finally looked up at him suspiciously.
“How odd, that fate keeps throwing us into each other’s path.” I said ironically.
Kol's mouth twitched. "Truly a mystery, or perhaps destiny…"
"Mm." I wasn't buying it. "Almost as if someone keeps arranging it."
"Darling," he said smoothly, "if I admitted that, it would ruin the magic."
Kol guided me effortlessly across the ballroom while we danced.
“You keep looking at me strangely.”
“Do I?”
“Yes.”
“How unfortunate. I was attempting to be subtle.” His lips curved.
I huffed a small laugh. And Kol nearly lost composure entirely hearing it again after a century.
“You’re very charming,” I admitted cautiously.
“I know.”
“There it is.”
“What?”
“The arrogance.”
"You wound me."
I rolled my eyes. "You're proving my point."
“Darling,” he said smoothly, “if you looked like me you’d understand.”
I laughed again. For a brief moment he could almost pretend nothing had happened. Pretend Klaus had never stolen my memories, yet it felt like a knife between his ribs.
But then the song ended. And reality returned. I stepped back automatically. Distance returning instinctively. A small movement. A stranger remembering she was a stranger.
Kol hid the pain immediately beneath another smirk.
“You’re staring again,” I noted softly.
“I’m appreciating.”
"That's a very polite way of saying it."
"Would you prefer the honest version?"
“The version that says you’re acting like a creep?”
God. Same attitude. Same sarcasm. Same witch. Even after a hundred years. From sheer relief hearing it again made Kol laugh. And something about the sound felt familiar again.
“Have we met before?” I asked.
Kol smiled softly. “That depends. Do you often forget men who are devastatingly attractive?”
I rolled my eyes.
“You’re very confident.”
“I’m usually rewarded for it.”
I took a sip of champagne. "I preferred life before that information."
Kol smiled again, how much he loved the attitude.
I eyed him suspiciously. "Why are you smiling?"
"You remind me of someone." That wasn't technically a lie.
"You don't know me."
Kol tilted his head smirking and teasingly said, "No?"
“Idiot…” I said rolling my eyes while I walked away.
But, something about the way he said it made my stomach twist strangely. Weird. Very weird. A strange ache. Like déjà vu. And quietly, almost to myself, I murmured:
“…Why do you feel familiar?”
Like a dream I couldn't quite remember.
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Somehow he kept appearing everywhere.
"Are you following me?"
Kol looked offended. "Oh, Lilith."
"You are."
"I prefer the term coincidentally appearing in the same places."
"That's called following."
"It sounds considerably less romantic when you say it like that."
I rolled my eyes. He was annoying. Arrogant. Dangerous. And yet somehow I enjoyed his company.
…
"You know, books become significantly less interesting when you've read them seventeen times."
I was sitting beneath a tree, my back resting against the trunk, a book open in my hands. I didn't even look up, his arrogant remarks were becoming a familiar occurrence. .
"How do you know I've read this seventeen times?"
Kol just grinned playfully.
And somehow, instead of leaving or getting annoyed, I closed the book. "Fine."
His eyebrows rose. "Fine?"
"You're clearly here to bother me.” A pause. “Again."
"Naturally."
That smile immediately appeared. The one I was beginning to recognize. The one that looked genuinely.
For the next two hours we talked. About everything. Nothing. Music. Travel. Magic. History. It was strange but it was easy with him.
┄
I was searching for a grimoire. A powerful one. According to the information I'd found, it contained spells I needed. Unfortunately, it was currently in Mikaelsons’ possession.
And now that I was in the Mikaelsons’ library, it was in Kol’s possession. He was seated in one of the library's armchairs when I arrived. The grimoire resting comfortably in his hands.
I immediately pointed at it. "I need that."
Kol didn't even glance up. "Why?"
"I need it."
"A compelling argument."
I narrowed my eyes. "Kol."
"Yes, darling?"
“You have millions of books in here, why won't you let me borrow that one for a second? ”
“No.” he smirked without looking up from the book.
"Give me the book."
He finally looked up. "No."
"Why not?"
His smirk widened. “Because I appreciate it too much to have it wandering around in just anyone's hands.”
“I'm not just anyone.” I said partly joking.
“You certainly are not…” he whispered. “You are not leaving without it are you?”
I smiled in response. No, I wasn't.
"I'd quite like it back eventually." He got up and walked closer to me.
"Why is that important?"
For the first time, his expression softened. "It was written by someone..." He hesitated, "...someone I cared about."
Little did I know the grimoire had been written centuries ago by him and me. Notes. Research. Spells. Entire pages filled with arguments scribbled in the margins. A lifetime preserved in ink.
I tilted my head. "Who would have thought… The psychopath Mikaelson is capable of sentimental attachment."
"You wound me, love." Kol said, raising an eyebrow.
"Who was she?"
The smile disappeared immediately. Because there I was. Asking about myself. Without knowing.
Kol sat down again and leaned back slowly. "A stubborn girl." A faint smile appeared, "She preferred forests to castles."
"Reasonable."
"She once threatened a nobleman with a dagger because he annoyed her."
I laughed, "Now I definitely like her."
"She never listened to anybody..." Kol smiled.
"Smart woman."
Kol shook his head softly. And despite himself, he smiled. He missed me. Even when I was sitting right there. Even while hearing my laugh. Even while looking directly at me. Because it wasn't the same. Not yet.
"What happened?" My voice came out quieter than before.
The question hung between us. Kol looked away. "Life."
For once I didn't joke. Didn't tease. Just watched him.
And something inside my chest hurt unexpectedly. Because whoever that woman had been… He had loved her.
┄
I sat on a rock looking at the water, it was hypnotic. Kol beside me. Closer than usual. Neither had noticed when that started happening. After dozens of conversations. After countless smiles. After accidentally seeking each other out. I found myself spending time with Kol without thinking about it, even wishing he would appear when I was alone.
Now he was telling some ridiculous story about Paris. I was laughing. The conversation had slowed. Not uncomfortable, just calm. At some point we stopped talking entirely and simply looked at each other.
I wasn't sure what happened first. Maybe the smile. Maybe the silence. Maybe the way his eyes softened. But suddenly we were close. Very close.
Kol's gaze dropped briefly to my lips. Then back to my eyes. I didn't move away. Neither did he. But my heart immediately betrayed me. Idiot. I should've moved. Should've said something. Instead I stayed exactly where I was. So did he.
For a second, just one second, I felt absolutely certain I wanted to kiss him.
And judging by his expression… He wanted exactly the same thing.
Our faces were only inches apart now. My heart was racing. Then suddenly… He pulled back.
Not coldly. Just creating distance. I blinked, confused.
Kol looked away first. "...Sorry."
The word surprised me more than the retreat. "Sorry?"
A faint smile appeared, sad somehow. "You deserve better than that."
I frowned. "What are you talking about?"
Kol looked at me for a long moment. Like he wanted to explain. Like he desperately wanted to tell me everything. Then finally,
"Nothing."
"That's obviously not nothing."
"I know."
Silence. My frustration grew.
"Then tell me."
Kol smiled sadly. "If I tell you, it changes things."
"Maybe I want things to change."
That answer hit him hard. I could see it.
For a moment neither moved. Then Kol stood. Creating distance. Because if he stayed there another minute… He wasn't sure he'd be able to keep pretending. And I still didn't remember.
His voice softened. "You should go home."
I stared at him. Annoyed. Confused. A little hurt.
Because I had seen the way he looked at me. The sadness behind it.
For the first time I realized something. Whatever happened to the woman he loved… He never recovered. Not really. And suddenly my chest hurt. Not from jealousy. From wishing I could somehow fix it.
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I came back to the Mikaelsons’ library again. The library was quiet. For once.
I sat on the floor between two massive shelves, surrounded by old grimoires and open books while candlelight flickered softly across the pages. I’d been searching for information on Esther’s spells for nearly two hours now. And failing spectacularly.
“Ugh,” I muttered, rubbing my eyes tiredly.
I leaned back against the bookshelf with a sigh, one knee pulled loosely to my chest. It should’ve felt peaceful. Instead my mind kept drifting back to Kol. Again. Always him lately. The almost-kiss. The way he looked at me sometimes. Like I mattered too much. Like every smile I gave him hurt him somehow. And god, I hated how much I thought about him now.
I didn’t move when I heard voices enter. At first I barely paid attention, until I realized who they belonged to. Kol. And Elijah. And they sounded angry. Very angry.
"You should not tell her." Elijah's voice echoed through the library.
I froze. Not intentionally listening. But now unable not to.
"Oh, here we go." Kol snapped, furious already.
"I’m serious, Kol," Footsteps echoed through the library. Pacing. "It could harm her." Elijah continued.
Kol laughed bitterly, "Harm her?"
"Yes." A pause. Then Elijah's voice lowered, more serious, "Lilith’s memories are already fighting the compulsion. If they're forced back too quickly, they could fragment. Break."
Memories. Break. What? I frowned slightly. Still hidden between the shelves, I stayed still unconsciously.
Silence.
Then Kol's voice. Sharper now. "So now I can't even be near her?"
"That isn't what I said."
"So what exactly do you suggest, Elijah?" His voice was getting louder now.
I slowly stood. Heart beginning to race. This felt private. I should leave. I took a step toward the end of the aisle. They were so caught up in the argument they didn't even realise I was there.
Then Kol spoke again. "I'm not telling her anything." His voice was rising now, "I'm not forcing memories. I'm not making her remember."
"Why are you constantly with her?"
A pause. And then, "Because she likes being with me. Am I supposed to avoid her? Pretend she doesn’t exist?"
The answer came immediately. Without even a second of hesitation. I stopped moving. Something twisted strangely inside my chest.
Elijah sighed. "You should be thinking with your head for once."
"Oh, with my head?" Kol laughed once, angry. “Talking about heads, Elijah, you know what I'd like to do?" Silence, "I'd like to rip Klaus's off."
I blinked. Silence. Then colder:
"The only reason I haven't done it is because he's the only one who can make her remember."
My stomach dropped. Remember? Remember what?
Elijah spoke carefully, "Kol…"
"No," Kol interrupted sharply, for the first time there was actual pain in his voice. "You expect me to forget the love of my life overnight?"
Everything stopped. I could only hear the beating of my heart. I couldn't breathe. The love of my life. The words echoed through my skull. Again. Again. Again.
Love of my life. The love of his life. Me.
"You expect me not to look at her when she's standing right in front of me?"
I inhaled sharply. The book slipped from my fingers. It hit the floor. Loud.
Silence. Immediate silence. Both brothers turned instantly and found me standing at the end of the aisle. Frozen. Eyes wide. The color draining from my face.
For a second nobody moved. Kol looked horrified. Not because I knew, because I'd found out like this.
"Lilith…"
I immediately lifted a hand and I stepped back automatically. A weak attempt at a smile.
"No." My voice sounded strange, "It's okay." It absolutely was not okay.
Neither Mikaelson believed that for a second. I nodded once. Too quickly. "It's fine."
"Lilith."
"It's okay." I swallowed hard, "You don't have to explain anything, I was just leaving."
“Yes, I do…”
But I was already moving. I left. Fast. Almost running.
By the time Elijah looked toward Kol, Kol was already gone.
The woods outside Mystic Falls blurred around me while I walked past them. I didn't even know where I was going. Only away. Because my chest hurt and I didn't understand why.
The love of my life. The words repeated endlessly. The love of my life. Kol's voice, Kol saying it, Kol meaning it.
"Lilith!" His voice echoed behind me.
I kept walking.
"Lilith please!"
Faster.
Until finally I snapped. Not because he asked. Because my legs suddenly wouldn't go any further.
“What do you want me to say?!” I shouted suddenly, turning around sharply.
Kol stopped several feet away immediately. His expression was wrecked. Breathing unnecessarily. Looking completely miserable. For a moment neither spoke.
"Was that true?!" I shouted, tears filling my eyes. “You called me the love of your life!”
Kol closed his eyes briefly. Of all the questions. Of course it would be that one. When he opened them again, "Because you are."
I looked down immediately. The honesty of it nearly knocked the air out of me.
"You meant it?" I wasn’t angry anymore. I was hurt. More devastated than angry.
"Yes." No hesitation. No joke. No sarcasm. Just truth.
My eyes filled unexpectedly. "Why? Why didn’t you tell me? I have lost a part of my life and you knew it, why did you play with me? Kol I…" My voice cracked. Tears were rolling down my face, I was frustrated, I was confused. I didn’t now how to feel, what to think or what to say.
Kol stared at me. Because how could he answer that simply? How do you summarize a thousand years?
"Kol, I don't understand any of this!"
If there was a life I had forgotten and Kol was part of it, now it made sense why being around him felt familiar. Why I trusted him. Why I missed him when he wasn't there. Why every smile from him somehow mattered.
And now this. The love of his life. I looked at him desperately.
"Were we together?"
The question nearly destroyed him.
“Yes."
My eyes closed. "For how long?"
Kol laughed once. A broken sound. "A thousand years."
My eyes snapped open.
"What?"
"We met before we became vampires..."
Silence.
"We stayed together after."
I stared. "A thousand years?" Unable to process it. “We knew each other at the village?” My voice softened, grief replacing the anger. Because I remembered a thousand years of my life, but I didn’t remember him in them.
"Yes."
"Kol..."
"I know."
My breathing became uneven. "You never said anything."
"What was I supposed to say?" His own voice cracked now. "Hello, lovely meeting you again. By the way, we've spent a millennium together and my brother erased me from your mind?"
“Who was it?” The anger hit me suddenly. "Was it Klaus?"
Kol laughed bitterly. "Yes."
“But why… why would he do that? why would he take my memories?” Tears slipped down my cheeks. “He took you from me." The words escaped before I could stop them.
We both froze. Because I hadn't meant to say it. Yet it felt true. Painfully true. Kol looked away immediately. And somehow that hurt worse.
“This’s insane.” I looked away sharply, emotions crashing too hard.
“I know.”
“You should’ve told me!”
“I wanted to.”
“Then why didn’t you?!”
“Would you believe me?” Kol stepped closer. “And even if you tried, your memories fighting the compulsion could destroy you!”
His voice cracked with frustration. “I watched you slowly start smiling at me again and I couldn’t risk breaking you just because I missed you.”
That silenced me. Completely. Kol looked devastated now.
I started denying with my head, was this real? “You know, I’ve been feeling this emptiness… for as long as I can remember. All those years…” I looked down at my trembling hands. “I thought there was something wrong with me.”
Kol’s expression tightened instantly. “Love…”
“I always felt empty, but I couldn’t figure out what. It was like a constant deja vu, like a dream you can’t remember but know that it is there… And with you I… I forgot about all of that…” My voice cracked, and Kol didn't move, didn't breathe. “These last months with you, it’s the first time that emptiness hasn't been there.”
“And now why does hearing all this feel like something’s ripping open inside me?!”
Kol looked like he wanted to cross the distance between us but was forcing himself not to. “Because some part of you remembers.”
That answer destroyed whatever composure I had left. The thought that someone had reached into my mind and stolen part of my life was unbearable. I felt with no control over my life. I laughed shakily through sudden tears.
"I'm sorry." The words left me suddenly. Soft. Broken.
Kol frowned. "For what?"
I laughed weakly through tears. "For not remembering you."
That nearly shattered him. "Lils…"
"I'm sorry." More tears now. "If this is hurting me..." My voice broke, "I can't imagine what it's doing to you."
And suddenly everything collapsed. My legs simply gave out beneath me. Not from injury. Not from weakness. Just too much. Too many emotions. Too much grief for something I couldn't even remember. I fell to my knees and immediately Kol was there. One second across the clearing, the next beside me.
"Lilith." His hands hovered. Not touching. Afraid to. Like I might pull away. "Hey..."
I covered my face, trying not to cry. Failing.
Carefully, very carefully, he reached toward me. A hand against my shoulder. I didn't pull away. So he moved closer. Then closer again. Until finally I leaned into him first. And Kol wrapped his arms around me immediately. Holding me tightly. I buried my face against his shoulder. And it felt safe.
Kol pressed his face briefly into my hair. Closing his eyes. Neither spoke for a long time. Just breathing. Holding on.
“You have known all this time…” I whispered slowly, I was thinking too much. “At the ball, you… you knew who I was from the start,... You… I…”
"Yes."
"And you still flirted with me."
Kol actually looked offended. "Well, I wasn't going to ignore you."
I stared at him.
"You were shameless." A faint smile appeared in my face.
"I've always been shameless." Despite everything, despite the tears still drying on my face, a laugh escaped me.
“I’m sorry for not remembering you.” I whispered again through that smile.
“Hey,” His hands moved gently into my hair, “Look at me.”
I did. Tearful and exhausted. Kol’s own eyes looked suspiciously glassy now too.
“This is not your fault. I have been suffering like hell, but not because of you.” His thumb brushed carefully beneath my eye, wiping tears away. “Never because of you.”
The quiet pain in his voice shattered me all over again. I grabbed the front of his jacket tightly.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t have to do anything.”
“But what if I never remember?”
Kol went still. That fear clearly haunted him too.
But after a long silence, he answered honestly:
“I don’t know.”
The words hurt more than any lie could have. Kol swallowed.
"I want to tell you that you'll remember. That one day you'll wake up and everything will come back." His eyes lowered briefly, "But I don't know if that's true."
Then slowly, he met my eyes again, “But even if you don’t remember, we can always make new memories.”
I stared at him. And somehow that hurt even more. Because he wasn't talking about replacing the old ones, he knew they couldn't be replaced. A thousand years couldn't be replaced.
He was simply saying that if he had to fall in love with me all over again… He would. As many times as it took.
But even then, everything was feeling wrong. Because now I knew, not the memories themselves, but enough. Enough to understand that the emptiness inside me had a name. Kol. Enough to understand that somebody had reached into my mind and ripped centuries away from me. Enough to understand that I had loved him so deeply that even without memories, I had somehow found my way back to him again. And that terrified me. So I pulled away.
Kol brushed his thumb softly beneath my eye. “You alright?”
I laughed weakly through leftover tears. “No.”
I looked down suddenly. Then stepped back. His expression shifted.
“This is too much.” Kol stayed quiet. I was overwhelmed now, completely overwhelmed. “I need… I need time. I need rest. I… need to get away of this confusing thoughts…”
That hurt him visibly, but he nodded anyway, “Okay.”
So I stepped back further, but looed at him helplessly.
“Hey,” Kol said with a sad smile, “You don’t owe me anything, I will stay for you. Always.”
More tears went down my face with each step I took further from him.
┄
The next few days were unbearable. Because now everything made sense. The way Kol looked at me. The sadness beneath his flirting. Why being around him felt natural. Why his voice settled something inside me. Why almost kissing him had felt familiar. And the worst part? Now that I knew, the emptiness felt sharper. Because now I understood what was missing. My memories. My life. Him.
I avoided Kol completely. Actually I avoided every Mikaelson. Which Kol respected. Barely. Painfully. But he did.
Eventually the anger became impossible to ignore. Not at Kol. Never at Kol. At Klaus. Because he had done this, taken centuries from me.
But the match that made me snap was the letter I had in my hands. I found it hidden between the pages of the grimoire Kol had lent me. The same grimoire I found out to be mine.
May 21, 1467
My dear kol,
If you’re reading this, then it means I was right. You have only been gone twelve days. (Yes, I counted them.) You can laugh if you want. Actually, I know you're laughing already. I can practically hear that annoying laugh of yours while writing this.
Before you become unbearably smug, know that I am only counting because someone must keep track of how long you’ve been away. Left to your own devices, you'd disappear for six months, return covered in blood carrying some cursed artifact, and somehow insist everything went perfectly.
By the way, you never returned my grimoire, again. One day, I truly am going to start hexing you every time you steal my books. You infuriate me more than any person I have ever known.
The forest is quieter without you and the river feels different. Everything does. I never realized how much space your nasty ego occupies until you aren’t here to fill it.
I miss you, and it’s deeply inconvenient. You should apologize for that.
I miss your stupid voice and I miss your cheeky laugh. Despite all your arrogance, all your confidence, all your insistence that you're impossible to kill,... I want you beside me again. I want to wake up warm again. And I hate admitting that. But I really want to roll my eyes at you in person instead of in this letter.
And that is entirely your fault, so come back soon. Before I start setting things on fire simply to entertain myself.
Take care of yourself. Try not to get stabbed. Try not to start any wars. And for the love of every god that has ever existed, stop provoking Klaus. Because both of us know I don’t deserve to lie in a cold bed any longer…
I love you. Come to me soon.
I love you my darling,
Your crow, your Lilith.
I read it once. Then again. Then a third time. And by the end my hands were shaking.
I knew. The woman who wrote this loved him. Completely. Without hesitation. Without fear. And that woman was me. This was me. My words. My feelings. My love. Written centuries before Klaus had taken them away.
Tears hit the page. I stared at the signature for a long time. Your crow. That nickname alone was a reflection of the closeness we had.
There were more letters. Notes. Sketches. Pressed flowers. A life. Our life. And I couldn't remember any of it. That was the moment something inside me snapped.
Enough. Magic crackled around me unconsciously.
And by the time I found Klaus I was furious. He stood in one of the parlors reading. Completely unaware. Until the doors slammed open. Klaus looked up. Saw my face. And immediately sighed.
The room exploded with magic. Books flew from shelves. Furniture shook. Invisible force slammed Klaus backward into the wall. Hard.
"Lilith."
"Give them back."
Klaus immediately understood. His jaw tightened. "Lilith, listen carefully…"
"No." My voice cracked violently through the room. "You listen."
Magic tightened. Klaus looked uncomfortable now.
"You took my memories."
"I protected you."
"From what?"
"Yourself."
"Do not tell me what I needed!" That only made me angrier. “You played with me like I was your little toy!”
The walls shook. Footsteps echoed nearby. Others un the house hearing the argument. I didn't care.
Tears filled my eyes again. Klaus closed his eyes briefly.
"You took centuries from me."
"Lilith…"
"No!" The room exploded with power.
And suddenly Elijah and Kol appeared in the doorway. Both stopping instantly. Kol's face changed immediately. Because he had seen me this angry only a couple of times in a thousand years. And somehow seeing me holding one of the old letters nearly destroyed him.
“You don’t get to decide what I remember.” I pointed toward Klaus. "You don't get to decide who I love."
Silence. Heavy silence. Even Elijah looked away.
Klaus stared at me for a long moment. Then finally:
"If I remove the compulsion now, it could overwhelm you."
"I don't care!"
"You might not survive it."
"I don't care!" I couldn’t even see with the rage and tears on my eyes. I just wanted my memories back. My hole whole again.
"Lilith."
"I DON'T CARE!" The force pinning him intensified.
Kol took an involuntary step forward. Not to stop me. Just because seeing me hurt physically.
My voice broke completely. "There’s something I’ve been missing and I didn’t even know what it was… You made me feel miserable!"
The room went silent.
“I felt an emptiness and now I realize it wasn’t even about myself. You took my life from me!”
Kol looked like someone had punched straight through his chest.
I wiped my tears away angrily. "I miss things I can't remember." I held up the letter, "I miss the person who wrote this."
Then quieter: "And I miss whoever I was when I loved him."
That did it. Even Klaus couldn't ignore that. The room remained silent for several seconds. Then finally, slowly, he nodded.
Kol stopped breathing. Elijah looked relieved. I just stared.
"If I do this,..." His voice quieter now, but I didn’t want to hear any more bullshit. So I tightened my magic around him, pinning him harder against the wall.
A long pause, but then Klaus looked directly into my eyes. And spoke.
"Remember."
Everything shattered. I gasped.
Pain. Light. Memories. Thousands of them. A lifetime. Several lifetimes.
Forests. Magic. Laughter. Kol. Always Kol.
The first time he kissed me. The first fight. The first "I love you." New Orleans. Europe. Wars. Centuries.
I released Klaus instantly. Staggering backward. Hands clutching my head. Tears streaming. The room spun. A thousand years returning all at once.
I opened my eyes slowly, still with my hands on my head. Still memories invading my head.
And the first thing I saw was Kol. Klaus fled as fast as he was released and Elijah after him.
Kol was standing there. Frozen. Terrified. Hopeful. Blocked. My face crumpled instantly.
My voice broke, "Kol..."
The way I said his name nearly ended him. Not confusion. Not uncertainty. Recognition. Memory. Love. Everything.
Kol crossed the room in less than a second. And I met him halfway. The collision nearly knocked us both over. My arms wrapped around his neck desperately. Kol held me just as tightly, one arm around my waist and the other against the back of my head. Like he was terrified I’d vanish again.
I buried my face against his shoulder. Sobbing. While I hold him as strongly as I could. And for the first time since Klaus compelled me Kol allowed himself to believe I was really back.
"I remember."
His eyes closed immediately. A shaky breath escaped him, "You remember."
"Everything."
Kol laughed. Half laugh. Half broken sound. And pulled me even closer somehow. Impossible considering how tightly he already held me. I clung to him desperately.
“I’m sorry,” I cried against him. “God, I’m sorry you were alone.”
Kol immediately pulled back just enough to hold my face.
“No,” His voice cracked. “You never apologize for that, my love.”
“But you suffered because of me.”
“Because of Klaus,” Kol corrected sharply.
Then softer immediately when he saw my expression, “Not you.”
I shook my head tearfully. “I forgot you.”
“And still fell for me again.”
That stunned me quiet briefly.
Kol gave a watery little laugh, “Honestly love, that’s incredibly flattering.”
At that a broken laugh escaped me too.
Kol rested his forehead against mine shakily, “I missed you so much, crow.”
My face crumpled again immediately. Because now I remembered exactly how much.
“I’m here now,” I whispered holding his face between my hands.
Then Kol kissed me before I could say anything else devastating. I kissed him back while tears run down my face.
