TaeKai; The F in Friendship Stands for Feelings ~ pt. 2
Genre: Angst (fluff) Pairing: Taemin x Kai Words: 3469 TW: Bullying
Things worsen when Beasts and Beautiful girls enter Taemin’s confusing life
Disaster struck on a Monday. As if it was the end of the world, the metaphorical comet blasting directly towards Taemin's frail heart came in the form of a beautiful girl named Allison. The entire world began to fall apart and set ablaze around him as soon as his eyes fell upon the sight of Allison intertwining her fingers with Jongin's. The pair was walking down the hall, hand in hand, and the girl was giggling - presumably because of something the other had said. Taemin felt his heart break into a million pieces as he began fighting the tears that were close to spilling out; what little hope he had had was thrown outside to drown in the rain. Oh, how he wished he could trade places with that girl; how he wished he could confidently walk down the hall while feeling Jongin’s velvety skin against his own.
The ground started shaking with every step they took and the flames rose higher until they fully consumed him, enveloping his heart in the blaze. His laugh and her giggle rang in his ears like a fire siren and drowned out the voices of the other students. Normally Jongin’s laugh was enough to clear even the coldest storm, but perhaps there was a reason the skies were grey today.
He had no idea what had happened over the weekend but it must have happened fast, seeing as Jongin had never mentioned a girl entering his life. And not just a girl apparently; a girlfriend. Before Taemin completely broke down, he began coming up with the most far fetched theories his desperate mind could create. Maybe it was just a cousin that was visiting, one he was very close with, or maybe he was being forced to date against his will to please his parents. None of his theories seemed to be true, but at least they kept his tears at bay. Taemin might have been desperate, but he wasn't stupid - when he saw the expression on the girl's face as she laid eyes on Jongin, the situation became very clear. However, no matter how clear it was, he refused to believe it.
After their meeting at the ice cream shop last Friday, Taemin had sworn to never wash his forehead again. He had repeatedly relived the moment Jongin's soft lips had grazed his skin, and for the longest time he simply sat there, processing what had happened. He hadn't asked Jongin why he did it because he knew that it was probably just a friendly gesture and that asking would make it awkward. What Tae didn't know though, was that the other boy had had the same question running through his mind when he had left and in bed at night when he couldn't fall asleep.
Shoving his head inside his locker once again, Taemin tried ignoring the world around him, hoping it would stop collapsing and simply disappear along with him instead. Ever since he was little he had used the ostrich method of covering his head to get out of uncomfortable situations, but he couldn't remember a time it had actually worked. His parents had let him be invisible for a while, but always ended up stating that they could still see him. Unfortunately, getting rid of his problems turned out to be more difficult than he thought; especially when the problem walked right up to him.
''Taemin?'' an innocent, girly voice asked behind him. Taemin looked out from his locker and was immediately met with the sight of a cheerful girl, whose bright eyes and wide smile taunted him with their happiness. She was pretty, Tae admitted, with her shoulder-length auburn hair and amber eyes. Her smile and innocence seemed so sincere that Taemin couldn't bring himself to hate her, yet the jealousy in his eyes still burned brightly. He fully removed himself from his hideout and took a good look at the disaster in front of him; never had he thought misfortune would be wearing a school uniform. Taemin wasn't exactly one of the tall boys at the school, but he was still taller than Allison. That somehow didn't stop him from stretching his spine in an attempt to tower above her, like that’d somehow show his dominance.
Jongin stepped besides the girl with a smile matching hers and hesitantly put a hand on the small of her back. She enthusiastically put her hand forward and waited for Taemin to shake it, which he reluctantly did after a few awkward seconds of staring. ''It's so nice to meet you - I'm Allison! Jongin has told me so much about you!'' she beamed. Tae forced a friendly smile onto his face and cleared his throat before answering and sending a glare in Jongin's direction.
''I'm Taemin - supposedly Jongin's best friends, which is why I find it odd that he hasn’t told me anything about you'' he muttered bitterly. Jongin's eyes widened at the statement and he was quick to kick Taemin’s shin as a hint to stop talking. Tae found himself having to bite down on his cheek to stop more rude comments from spilling. Instead he transferred all his indecencies into his look and hoped Jongin could translate them himself. Having known each other for a long enough time, Jongin knew exactly what the other boy was telling him through his gaze. He knew that the angry glimmer was screaming ’betrayal’ and that the dark shadow whispered ’disappointment’. Both of them got ripped out of their non verbal conversation when Allison cleared her throat and let out an awkward laugh.
‘’Well, we did get together quite recently’’ she laughed, but her words weren’t heard by either of them. The two of them were mentally secluded from the outside world - arguing in their own little bubble. Suddenly Jongin grabbed Taemin’s wrist and started walking away with hasty steps after apologizing profoundly to Allison for both of their behaviours.
Jongin's grip around the other boys wrist was soft yet firm as he dragged him down the hall and into a storage locker, not caring about the many protests that left Taemin's mouth. The room was barely large enough to hold the many cleaning supplies that were stored there, which meant that the two were practically pressed up against each other inside the dank room. A dim light hung from the ceiling, barely lighting up the their surroundings. Jongin finally released his grip on Taemin’s wrist and let his arm fall to his side.
''Why did you have to say that to Allison?'' he asked with a sigh as if he had been holding his breath the entire walk. His tone was filled with worry, but whether it was directed at Allison or Taemin was hard to decipher. Taemin tried backing away from confrontation, which resulted in him crashing into a shelf, nearly knocking over a bunch of toilet paper. Yet again his wrist was grabbed and he was pulled back against Jongin's chest to prevent him from destroying the entire room and burying them in soap and paper. The room fell silent except for Tae's ragged breathing and the flickering light-bulb above them. The two were standing so close that they could practically feel each other’s heartbeat, and Taemin was hoping that Jongin hadn't noticed how fast his had suddenly become.
''I-'' he paused to swallow a lump in his throat ''-just find it odd that you suddenly get a girlfriend from one day to another... I thought we shared everything.''
Jongin leaned his forehead against the others with a deep sigh. The sadness and sincerity in Tae's voice cut through his heart like a knife, and he desperately wished he knew how to make his friend happy again. Seeing as words weren't his strong suit, he pulled his friend into a tight hug instead and embraced him until he dared to speak. Taemin enjoyed the warmth and familiar scent, and he wished that they could stay like this forever. A storage locker wasn’t ideal but at least they were cut off from the world, comforted by each other's presence. Still wrapping his arms tightly around the other boy, Jongin moved his face up to Tae's ear. As he spoke, his breath sent a shiver through Taemin's body.
''It all happened so fast and I’m sorry, I truly am, but it’s not like you aren’t to blame too.''
Taemin moved his face back to look at the other and sent him a questioning look. ‘’What’s that supposed to mean?’’ he asked, his voice full of confusion. Jongin broke the hug, much to Taemin’s dismay, and started to nervously rub his arm, almost as if he didn’t dare to say what he was about to.
‘’Well, I feel like you’ve been ignoring me the past couple of weeks, avoiding me even, so I thought maybe you were distancing yourself from me’’ he explained.
It sounded as if he was on the verge of tears, and if Taemin hadn’t quickly stopped himself, he would’ve blurted out his true reason for distancing himself, just to see his friend smile again. He would’ve spilled his feelings and anxieties as if he was writing a cheesy love letter, but instead he chose to reenter their embrace and prepared to mutter an apology. Before he had a chance to say anything, the light from the hallway revealed their position when the door to the supply closet was flung open. As if Taemin's body had been on fire, Jongin flung himself away from him, crashing into the shelves and brooms behind him. His clash resulted in various cleaning supplies and paper falling down on top of them both in a big mess. The person that had triggered the event gasped in shock, but they couldn't see who it was, as they were too busy digging themselves out of the supply-avalanche.
“Jongin! Are you okay!” a girly voice exclaimed.
Ah, the figure was Allison. Of course it was. Taemin felt the sting of rejection deep in his heart this time. Tears finally started to well up in his eyes as he thought about how Jongin had been so desperate to escape their hug in fear of what? Getting caught? Being misunderstood? He didn't know, but he absolutely wasn't about to ask. As Allison rushed to Jongin's side to help him clean up, Taemin dusted off his uniform and rushed away from the scene, not letting his friend see the hurt he had caused.
And that's how Taemin found himself crying in a bathroom stall once again. His protector had suddenly become the thing he needed to be protected from. His knight in shining armor had become the beast he feared. He loved Jongin and not being able to be with him felt as painful as a thousand daggers buried in his back. Even worse was the fact that not only couldn't he get him, but someone else could. He had to watch from afar as Allison would eventually do all the stuff Taemin dreamed to do every single day; hugging, laughing, kissing, loving. All his hope shriveled and fell from his heart like an autumn leaf, as he imagined a future where he would eventually be pushed away and be completely alone. It would only be so long before Jallison - the sickening couple’s name he had given them - would be tired of him third-wheeling and kick him to the curb.
A few people entered and left the bathroom, but he didn't care if they heard him crying, his day couldn't get worse anyway. Suddenly his phone chimed in his pocket but as soon as he saw who the text was from he began crying all over again. His tears made the screen blurry, but he managed to read the message:
Where are you? Please Taemin, don't do this to me...
Taemin was stuck between revealing his location and dropping his phone in the toilet, flushing it and Jongin's words into the sewer. As a middle ground he decided to put it back into his pocket without replying. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop his tears from spilling, and he was so focused on wiping his eyes that he barely registered a group of people entering the bathroom with heavy steps. One of the people laughed at some pervy joke the other had told, and the sound was one that Taemin immediately recognised. How could he forget the sound that matched the shit-eating grin of his worst bully. In panic, he quickly slapped his hands across his mouth to muffle his sobs - suddenly he was terrified of being heard. He pulled up his knees to his chest so his feet couldn't be seen and waited for the group to leave, hoping it would be soon. He counted the voices; one, two, three; Sam, Chase, David. They were all there, which made his heart beat twice as fast.
Now he desperately wished he had written his location to Jongin anyway, so his knight could save him as he always did. But as Taemin thought about it, a question sprung to his mind: would Jongin even choose to leave Allison's side to rush to his? The thought made his heart sink and, tragically, made a sob escape his lips. Suddenly the voices outside of his stalls briefly fell silent before one of them spoke.
''Well, well, well guys, it looks like little girls forget the warnings you give them'' he said wittily. The sound of footsteps moved closer to the stall Taemin was hiding in, and before he knew it his hideout began shaking violently as his bullies tried forcing the door open. He jumped up and pushed back on the door to keep them from getting in, but like always, his thin frame didn't contain enough strength and wasn't able to win over three other boys. After a while they managed to pry open the door and violently drag Taemin out, tears still staining his face, before dropping him on the cold floor. All three boys stood around him and leered down on the shaking body before them. One of them poked him with his foot to provoke him into fighting back, making it more fun for them, but Taemin simply curled up into a ball and waited for it all to be over. Maybe it wasn't so bad trading in emotional pain for physical pain, he thought; at least wounds and gashes would heal.
''You might have cut your hair, but the weeping still gives away what you really are, sissy!'' one of them joked.
''Leave me alone..'' Taemin muttered into the floor and curled tighter around himself. ''What was that?'' the biggest asked, before dragging him up by the wrist and grabbing tightly around his jaw to force their eyes to meet, ''If you wanted us to leave you alone, maybe you shouldn't keep wandering into the men's bathroom''. Tae's legs felt like jelly and when he caught a quick glimpse of himself in the mirror he realised how big of a mess he looked with tears staining his now puffy face, messy hair and his tie gone awry. Neither his looks nor the names they called him mattered; he felt numb to the core. Their words and violence didn't hurt nearly as much as the emotional pain his love had caused him, so if breaking his mind and body was what they set out to do, he wasn't going to stop them.
Sam grabbed Taemin's tie and yanked it downwards. His neck felt like it was going to snap as he staggered forward a few steps to avoid falling, then glared up at them. ''Let go,'' he pleaded. ''Let go,'' Chase mimicked in a mocking tone. They all laughed before Sam forced Taemin up against the sink, dragging him by the tie like a dog on a leash. The water was turned on and before Tae had a chance to process what was happening, his face was under the tap and oxygen was replaced with freezing water. They continued laughing but their voices soon drowned out. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and instantly thought it must be Jongin trying to reach him again. Oh how he needed him right now. David confirmed his suspicion when he reached into his pocket to retrieve the phone, smirking at what he saw.
''I think your boyfriend misses you, Nancy Boy!'' he laughed, to which the others let out a teasing ''aww''.
Boyfriend. That word hit Taemin like a slap to the face. It was a word he spent countless hours dreaming about, and to him it was filled with love and admiration. To him it was a title he wished to bear in the future, but to them it was like cursing. The word was filthy, perverted even, because just the thought of two boys loving each other was a reason for them to bully. Tears continued running down his cheeks, but they mixed with the water and got flushed down the drain with it. Suddenly their laughing stopped and Taemin was dragged away from the sink, only to be pushed back onto the floor. Through his tears he saw the figure that had entered the bathroom unnoticed, standing tall with an angry, no furious, aura surrounding him; his hero.
''Hey!'' Jongin thundered, ''get away from him. Now!'' His voice echoed through the room, making it louder and all the more aggressive. He took a step closer to the bullies and puffed himself up in an attempt to look intimidating. It was all an act, he could never hurt anyone, even those who deserved it; luckily only Taemin knew that. The others fell for it - tried acting like they didn't care and wasn’t intimidated, but eventually all left the bathroom anyway. Taemin knew he must have looked like a mess from Jongin's point of view; shirt dirty from the ground, tie almost yanked off of him, tears running from reddened eyes and hair wet from the sink. He didn't want to be seen like this - he didn't want to be seen at all. He tried hiding his face in his shoulder, but his friend wouldn't let him. He got down on his knees and lifted the other boy’s face, caressing his cheeks in the process. Tae dared to look into his eyes for just a second, but that was enough to see the hurt and anger that glimmered in them.
''I’m sorry,'' he whispered, his voice cracking mid sentence as a tear escaped his eye, ''I’m sorry I wasn't there to stop them in time.''
Taemin tried to chuckle but ended up coughing instead as his lungs failed him from being shoved around so much. Jongin continued caressing his face, petting his hair, wiping his tears with the sleeve of his shirt and and anything else he could to make the other feel better; to make himself feel better. Jongin hadn't lied back then at the ice cream shop when he had said that his friend’s hurt was his as well. Ever since the two had met, Jongin had felt an almost burning need to protect his smaller, yet older friend. He wasn't violent in the slightest - the only times he allowed himself to hurt others were during his football matches, but as soon as tears started spilling from Taemin's shiny eyes, something came up in him; a fire started burning deep inside his stomach.
''How'd you find me?'' Taemin managed to ask with a broken whisper. ''You always hide in the bathroom when you're sad, and when you didn't answer my texts or calls I got worried, so I rushed over here'' Jongin answered, not once taking his eyes off his friend’s swelled face.
''What about Allison? Did you just leave her behind?''
Jongin’s eyes widened like he has both shocked and confused at the question. Shocked because how could Taemin think about that considering the situation, and confused as to why it would matter. He scooted closer to the frail body of his friend and dragged him up into a delicate embrace. Taemin closed his eyes for just a moment and when he opened them again his heart almost shot directly out of his chest. Noses almost touching, lips under an inch apart, eyes meeting. How had they suddenly gotten so close and why was it already affecting Taemin so violently. A million thoughts raced through his head - the ability to breathe long forgotten.
''Don't think about her. You're what's most important right now, Taemin-''
Jongin took a deep breath before continuing, almost as if what he was about to say was too hard for him to admit.
''-You're the most important person in my life.''
