Choir Jokes.. and more!

Welcome to choir land! A blog for jokes about choir, appreciation for great music and general choir fun!!

[choirjokes]

Help everyone!!

It’s a been a hot minute since anyone hopped on here, but I wanted to give a bit of a life update and ask a favour.

In 2020 I moved to Wales (the holy land of choirs!) for university, to get my degree in costume construction. I now work in theatre, and I’m about to start work on Hamilton for the Christmas season. While I was at university I met the love of my life and now we’re planning our wedding! I know I’ll be walking down the aisle to Bogoroditse Dyevo by Rachmaninoff, but I need suggestions for other choral pieces for my wedding. Please send your favourite and most romantic pieces for SATB choir!

Keep Singing!

Choir Jokes xx

[choirjokes]

I honestly don't understand why everyone thinks sopranos hate altos. I'm a first soprano and I wanted to be an alto for YEARS. I had a whole *thing* about accepting the fact that I'm a soprano, and I still think that altos and mezzos and anyone who can get serious traction under a G4 are the coolest thing ever. Also I love your blog!

i think it’s mostly just a joke haha. like, the stereotype for trumpet players is that they wanna be loud and have all the attention. the stereotype for tenors is that they strain their higher notes. it’s just harmless jokes in my opinion 😂 i agree though! contraltos and mezzo sopranos are amazing and i love the color and tone of those kinds of voices 😍 and thank you so much! 💕

[choirjokes]

I just (like two weeks ago just) joined a choir, and had no previous musical experience. I’m not going to be ready for either of upcoming concerts (I would have three and four rehearsals under my belt, respectively) and am trying not to feel like a complete failure. Logically I know I’m not, because it’s hundreds of pages of music in English, Russian, and Hebrew, but I’m such an overachiever I can’t help but feeling like a failure.

If you have no previous experience, there’s absolutely no shame in asking your director for more time. Hebrew and Russian are difficult languages, especially if you have no experience in singing in a foreign language. You are absolutely not a failure. Ask your director for more time and ask your section buddies to help you learn.

Keep singing!

Choir Jokes xx

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

therapist: the semihemidemisemiquaver isn’t real, it can’t hurt you

the semihemidemisemiquaver:

[love-to-love-puppies]

Can someone who speaks sheet music translate for me?

[johnnyjoestarrelatable]

fast

[choirjokes]

A Singer’s Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season

It’s November, which means the holiday season is well underway! So between carols and concerts, rehearsals and revues, here’s a quick guide to surviving this holiday season.

Steam, Steam, Steam

Steam is your new best friend, use it daily if you can. The easiest way to do this is by boiling some water, pouring it in a bowl and sitting with your face over the bowl and a towel over your head to trap the steam. This will help lubricate your vocal chords. You can also add in some eucalyptus oil if you’re congested to help unblock your sinuses.

Hydrate Yo Self

Drink lots of room temperature water! Too hot or too cold will hurt your voice rather than helping it. You can also drink warm-hot (not boiling!) tea. If you’re starting to get a sore throat a spoonful of honey in your tea will help to soothe it.

Rest Your Voice

If your voice needs a break, take it! Your choir director will understand and will more than likely encourage vocal rest over straining your voice. If possible, keep turning up to rehearsals so you know what’s going on. My choir directors have always said it’s better to turn up and not sing than not turn up at all.

Wrap Up Warm

If you live in a cold climate *cough* England *cough* make sure you’re wearing a scarf every time you go out to protect your throat and stop you getting cold. Even if you live in a warmer climate, a light scarf can help immensely during the winter months.

Cough Drops

Cough drops can be your friend, as long as you’re not getting the ones that are basically candy. Look for ones that are mostly glycerine and they’ll help soothe your throat far more than ones that are mostly sugar.

I’ve been in choir for 10 years and these are just some of the things I’ve picked up on to help survive being a choral singer during the holidays. If you have any other tips feel free to add to this list!

Keep Singing!

Choir Jokes xx

[choirjokes]

No More The Winter's Hand - Schram/Parker

thanks so much for the recommendation! i’ll give it a listen 🎶

[choirjokes]

What’s your favorite SA/SSA/SSAA choir pieces?  Comment them so I can give them a listen!  :)

[choirjokes]

We were singing Seal Lullaby tonight and I managed to distract my entire choir and MD (I sing in a ladies choir) by showing them a picture of Eric Whitacre. Oops?

-Choir Jokes

[milkandheavysugar]

“Ms. Jessye Norman (1945-2019), the majestic American soprano who found acclaim as well as a recitalist and on the concert stage, was one of the most decorated of American singers. She won five Grammy Awards, four for her recordings and one for lifetime achievement. She received the prestigious Kennedy Center Award in 1997 and the National Medal of Arts in 2009.

As an African-American, she credited other great black singers with paving the way for her, naming Marian Anderson, Dorothy Maynor and Leontyne Price, among others, in a 1983 interview with The Times.

‘They have made it possible for me to say, ‘I will sing French opera,’ she said or, ‘I will sing German opera,’ instead of being told, ‘You will sing Porgy and Bess.’ Look, it’s unrealistic to pretend that racial prejudice doesn’t exist. It does! It’s one thing to have a set of laws, and quite another to change the hearts and minds of men. That takes longer. I do not consider my blackness a problem. I think it looks rather nice.’ “[X]

[the-music-keeper]

Hey all!

One of the things I'd really like to do this semester is compose at least twenty cumulative minutes of music. That's a tall order, especially when accompanying and lessons are added to the papers and such I already have to write. Therefore, I need some motivation, and that's what I need y'all to help me with.

I have a few ideas for things I'd like to compose this semester, but one of the reasons I don't compose as much as I'd like is because I tend to wait for bursts of inspiration, which I don't get a lot. So I'd really appreciate it if you guys could send in compositional prompts. Nothing huge necessary -- a situation or scenario you'd like encapsulated in music? Send it in. An ensemble combo you thought of on the spot? Send it in. A specific genre in your favorite key? Heck, something written in the style of your favorite musical era? Send. Them. In. Seriously. My goal is to do one or two compositional prompts a week, so I need y'all to send in those prompts!!! And when they're finished, I will upload them to my SoundCloud and post them here so you can hear how your idea turned out.

@quinnifred @twofeatheredarrow @you-had-me-at-e-flat-major @moz-arent @wolfgangamademozart--official @nannerlmozartofficial @jsbach-official @official-wolfgangmozart @classical-crap @howtomusicmajor @josephhaydn-official Could I get you guys to signal boost, please?? Thanks so much -- y'all rock.

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

round 1: write a piece that describes a natural phenomenon like a cave or a glacier

also send me suggestions too pls x

[isthatatiktok]

[pesky-pianist]

Going through my notes app is ridiculous cause there’s normal stuff like lists and things to remember but there’s also entire pages where the only thing in there is shit like “112 bpm” with no other context but I’m afraid to delete it

[starburstdragon]

Sheet music: you need to sing really high

Sopranos:

[lowkeychoirmemes]

Nobody:

Literally no one:

Not a single soul:

Altos: Okay Woah that pitch is WAY too high. That’s out of my range. I… I can’t do that I’m sorry

[lowkeychoirmemes]

In choir today one of the tenors was asking to sing a solo part for someone who was missing. My director, in his INFINITE wisdom said, “There is no I in choir”

[starburstdragon]

Me at the choir concert seeing all of the kids in entry level choirs and realizing how young and small they are:

[contrabasse]

are you kidding, i love classical music. my favorite composers are bach, mozart, and *looks at smudged writing on hand* beef oven