[json-derulo]

for sale: Baby Shoes Stylish Infant Boy Girl Unisex First Walker Shoes Toddler Walking Crib Shoes Lightweight Non-Slip Sneakers For 6 9 12 18 24 Months Baby Shoes New With Tags New In Box Excellent Condition Never Worn

[batsandboba]

me: hey inat i found this weird bug in the bathroom can you help me out? it’s like a moth fly thing

inat:

hm. well. can’t argue with that i guess.

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[loveridden1999]

[8syntheticanimal8]

[cyphir-spacerobot]

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

[koiagain]

[weaver-z]

It's hilarious to me that Al Capone was an amazing tipper. I get why it took so long to catch him.

[weaver-z]

Me and the other caddies watching Al Capone beat a guy to death with a golf club after he gave each of us the 2022 equivalent of $1600

[dogpuppy]

[pomegranateteeth]

The e in email stands for evil mail

[lacesmilk]

i wasn't socialized enough as a larva

[charl0ttan]

uhh my two cents are fucking each other

[3liza]

i was just chatting to my 82 year old father on the phone and he was talking about his lifelong struggle with ADHD and remarked, "but all the people who criticized me my whole life are dead now" and then did an evil cartoon sorcerer laugh. being old rocks

[cheddar-baby]

Peeing

[cryptotheism]

Again with this

[cheddar-baby]

are you mad at me?

[cryptotheism]

Knock it off

[cheddar-baby]

[cryptotheism]

Huh, must've been the wind.

[fairycosmos]

you have GOT to get over god abandoning you when you were 2 like its not even uncommon

[wisedreamdelusion]

why you give me the food this way i have to say respect my dignity any way

[parkchanwoohoo]

[bells-lettres]

local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣

Translation by me. :))