Disability Blog

Haven - he/him or they/them - Neurodivergent - Cane user - Allistic - Supportive of those with NPD and ASPD

[wheelie-sick]

when people tag posts "unreality" it's a signal to people who struggle with discerning reality that a (likely scary if believed to be true) post is not real even though it's written as if it was. it's also a filter tag so those people can opt out of seeing posts like that entirely. many people who rely on the unreality tag are psychotic and struggle with paranoia alongside (or because of) the struggles discerning what's real. posts that these people interpret to be real can lead to incredible distress and compulsions.

when someone tags your post "#unreality" and you screenshot the tags and say "what are you talking about? this is real" because you consider the post easy to discern as not real and find this joke funny you're actually just causing paranoia for people who now feel like they can't trust the unreality tag. not everyone has the same reality discernment skills as you. what's "obviously" a fictional story to you may not be obvious to other people.

I don't think most people make this joke maliciously. I think most people making this joke don't even realize why the unreality tag exists. anyways, if you've made this joke or have the urge to make this joke then consider not doing that.

[guelwaar]

clinical medicine is simple, basically the way it works is 99.999% of doctors don't know anything at all, so they only treat the 10–15 most common problems in their specialty. this might sound bad, but actually it's better, because 99.999% of patients don't have any complex medical problems anyway, which we know because they've never been diagnosed with anything except the 10–15 most common problems in the relevant specialty, because in order to be evaluated for something else they would have to be referred to one of the 0.001% of doctors who occasionally know something about some other condition, but they can't get that referral because they obviously don't need it because they've only been diagnosed with simple problems that the other 99.999% of doctors evaluate. so as U can see it's really about ensuring every patient gets the best possible care.

[penny-anna]

endlessly frustrating that whenever anyone is like 'i wish i could complain about X without people trying to give me unsolicited advice' swarms of people are always like 'clearly you have not heard *my* unsolicited advice!' and it's always like yes I have. Didn't help.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.

[reasonablywittyatbest]

It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.

I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.

I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.

[sunspotpony]

Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”

Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.

[angelofthemornings-deactivated2]

important

In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."

[lastoneout]

Ngl the other thing that sucks is the memory issues on top of it that often make it hard or impossible to know if you hurt others and/or why. It's why the narrative of the perfect victim and the correct response being "it wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong and you didn't deserve it you can forgive yourself uwu <3" makes me so angry. Everyone says this is the ONLY correct way to react to your own abuse, wto accept that you're a poor innocent baby who deserved nothing and hurt no one, but that feels like a lie to me. That doesn't feel like what happened, and I can't move on if I don't find a way to live with what happened and my fractured memories of it and forgive myself for everything I will never know.

And yeah while most people do internalize blame the solution is always presented as "break them down by telling them it wasn't their fault over and over, as many times as needed until they believe it and cry and heal" and if you did that to me I'd fucking hate you and never trust you again. I never find that shit validating, it feel GROSS. But apparently that makes me a bad victim.

Ofc the first time I saw the alternate narrative, the one that resonated with me, which was "okay well maybe you did fuck up and hurt others and it's your fault, you still didn't deserve it and you're allowed to just accept that shit sucked and was messy and confusing and move on, we may never get clean answers that feel good, but we do get to take the next step" it got maligned by everyone and their mom for being an evil, pro abuse stance. Because the character was in part at fault for what happened to them, and apparently suggesting that an abuse victim could ever be at fault or even just feel like they were was bad representation. That the only correct way to conceptualize your abuse is to vehemently deny that you did anything wrong ever and accept that you deserved none of it even if saying that makes you feel like choking on bile and drags you back into your trauma again and again with no reprieve.

Let victims be imperfect, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Especially when it makes you uncomfortable.

You aren't owed our perfection, nor our fucking innocence. I'd rather do the hard work of learning to forgive myself in the face of having done wrong and improve than sit in a happy little fantasy that makes everyone else comfortable and me wanna scream. You don't get to ask that of us.

[rabbiteclair]

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

it feels like the more psych critical my views become, the more i see how much people uncritically swallow every positive view of psychiatry in existence, and it's so exhausting omg. like "oh you can't self diagnose! that's what professionals are for! you're so easily mistaken, but they're not!" as if professionals don't also constantly misdiagnose people, as if you couldn't walk into 3 different psych professional's offices with the exact same presentation and exact same symptom list and walk out with 3 potentially completely different diagnoses. "oh but you can't because anything you find to help yourself, it could hurt you!" as if psych treatment is one size fits everyone in a single diagnosis, and it never hurts the people who have been professionally diagnosed with that? like?

It infuriates me that people will spend their time fearmongering about people self-diagnosing as if professional psychiatric diagnosis isn't entirely subjective and as if the consequences of a psych professional giving you an unhelpful diagnosis based on their own subjective biases doesn't have far worse consequences. I mean self-diagnosis happens on your own terms and you get to change your mind whereas a professional diagnosis will likely follow you for life no matter how accurate it is.

[chronic-cane]

It's even a poor view of what psychiatry can do on a more moderate end of things honestly. You can go and show the same symptoms and get separate disorders unless you go in pretty sure that the symptoms are from one specific disorder and discuss why.

Because that's what disability justice is aiming for in general, where doctors and patients work with each other rather than the doctor as ultimate authority.

Example: I notice that I have symptoms of cyclothymia, I bring it up to my psychiatrist, knowing already that it could be from ADHD but not sure. Because the SSRIs aren't making it worse we leave it at the ADHD but I keep an eye on it just in case.

That kind of interaction requires respect for the patient, respect that vanishes the second your mental illness gets a little Too Scary or you're too obviously mentally ill. Something I've experienced first hand. Including being kept on an SSRI that was giving me a negative reaction.

Most people don't even go to doctors with just a list of symptoms, they go to say "I'm worried I have ____." The reason why you wouldn't go to the doctor with that is because you've probably been treated like you can't speak for yourself before and don't want to deal with it again.

[wheelie-sick]

link

[areweperfectlywhelmedyet]

How 11 Deaf Men Helped Shape NASA's Human Spaceflight Program - NASA

Before NASA could send humans to space, the agency needed to better understand the effects of prolonged weightlessness on the human body. So

I love learning space history!

The article details what’s presented in the video above and talks about an exhibit at the university opened in 2017 about the research and volunteers; 3 of the 11 volunteers were present for the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

“On Apr. 11, 2017, our chief historian Bill Barry had the honor of representing NASA at the opening of Gallaudet University’s museum exhibit Deaf Difference + Space Survival. Curated by Gallaudet student Maggie Kopp, the exhibit highlights the relatively unknown contributions to the study of motion sickness made by these 11 university alums for a decade from 1958 to 1968. Present were 3 of the 11 former study participants: Harry O. Larson, class of ’61, Barron Gulak, class of ’62, and David O. Myers, class of ’61.”

[prairiedeath]

they should make mental health trestment centers that don't make everything worse

[prairiedeath]

a good start would be making them Not Prisons

[flowercrowncrip]

And it’s always “inclusive” queer spaces that claim to be accessible when they aren’t. It’s like they realise that not being accessible to disabled people is bad, but instead of doing the work to be accessible they just look for ways around having to admit that they aren’t. They’re just prioritising their ability to think of themselves as “radical” or “inclusive” over actually including wheelchair users.

It’s almost always queer spaces that take “ambulatory wheelchair users exist!” to mean that a venue with a step (or even multiple steps) is wheelchair accessible because the wheelchair user can just get up while someone lifts their (small, manual) wheelchair up the step.

Or, even worse (like the “inclusive” salon my friend wanted to go to) they call a space with absolutely no wheelchair access “accessible” because they have fidget toys.

And every time it’s a kick in the teeth

[bastigone]

As an ambulatory wheelchair user, I need these place to understand accessibility is not a *vibe you create* it is an actual, tangible set of steps and requirements necessary to let people interact with the space.

I’ve had people tell me they have an “inclusive and accessible space” because they don’t stop people from stimming visibly (Good! Let people stim!) but then arrived to find they had no ramp and eight steps between every level of their building. That’s not accessible.

I’ve had a church or two call themselves “accessible and inclusive” because they respect pronouns and treat trans people like humans (Good! We are humans!) but then I showed up to find they had a ramp with a slope so steep my wheelchair actually flipped and the access point to said ramp had a four-inch tall slab of concrete keeping me from getting to the ramp in the first place without someone having to lift me and my chair. That’s not accessible.

True accessibility is not a place virtue signaling to me that they offer a 3D-printed toy dinosaur and a pronoun badge (though I do love those dinosaurs and go ape over a great pronoun badge). The reality is, if your place is actually accessible you have actively interacted with people with disabilities and mobility issues, you have met local and national standards for accessibility *and worked to exceed them*, and you are in constant conversation on ways you can improve the accessibility of your space.

[brighthounds]

okay i promise i'm only going to do this the one time. I promise I'm not going to continue to be annoying about this. but i am sharing my instagram post to tumblr because idk why not yolo. maybe this will actually be useful to somebody. and more can be found on the world's most cursed website/app.

[brighthounds]

hello again! there is now a free ebook version of this with additional tips, ideas, and thoughts on the subject of dog parenting while chronically ill (written by a dog trainer with chronic illness). It's pay-what-you-want (including the low low price of $0) and you can get it at the above link on Ko-fi.

[aesungaia]

[fibromyalgicaf]

Edited to add: Since a lot of people are reblogging this original post, I'm adding the updated version I did that incorporates the intersex circle...

I know intersex people are still getting excluded in a lot of LGBTQIA+ spaces (let alone wider society) and I think it's crucial to show this group is included in the statement that we all deserve equal rights.

[thedeliaishere]

laughable.

[zylahbee]

assuming someones health based on their age in a world where babies can be born with disabilities and illnesses, and elderly who can run marathons and live past 100 makes zero sense.

health will never automatically be a certain level based on age.

[necropolis144]

They should invent doctors that actually give a shit about your rapidly decreasing health and rising levels of chronic pain that are slowly taking over and ruining your life.

[pinkdovess]

this meme is so niche

[obscenicon]

[duckdotcom]

[daco-showman]

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

[transhuman-priestess]

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

[fuckblast]

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

[blasting-the-bee-movie-script-d]

he didn't even get to stand *trial*. because he's autistic. he's in an institution for life for hacking while autistic, without trial.

[bisexualisopod]

hey yall remember this