chronically ill and thriving

this can be an outlet for the things that get overlooked

[chronicallyillandthriving]

i just realized that the length of a week is a completely arbitrary capitalist construct. we work 5 days out of 7 for why? i’m gonna forget that construct to stop actually killing my disabled ass by trying to fit into that schedule.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

procedure went well. we should know more in a week.

since then, i’ve even seen friends ! we had a socially-distant picnic in the park on separate blankets. just me, my partner, and a couple we’re close with.

i feel good. i am nervous.

i want a diagnosis.

please hope for a diagnosis with me 🤞🏻

[chronicallyillandthriving]

today is the day!

i start prepping for a procedure tomorrow.

they’ll take three biopsies.

i hope i’ll get answers. please pray they find something.

getting nothing would be very emotionally difficult.

it’s taken a lot to be able to pay for this procedure. it’s taken a lot to get here.

i am hopeful and excited. thank you.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

my employer offered to cut my hours a little more as an accommodation. i did not ask her to do that. she brought it up herself and said it’s because she “values” me and wants to make sure i’m okay.

i turned down her offer at first, but after two weeks i took her up on it.

and then i was fired two hours later.

i was told that i “just don’t want to work.”

and thats on being disabled.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

what is something you wish people knew about being chronically ill? send me an ask and i’ll put it up ✨

[chronicallyillandthriving]

there's a reason that i stay anonymous...

[chronicallyillandthriving]

called the doctor again today.

still no luck scheduling my procedure.

trusting that they'll call me back. hoping i don't have to keep waiting much longer. really need the biopsies done.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

i worked a long ass day (almost 11 hours in the sun). and i’m sooooo grateful for accommodations.

my day off is tomorrow, so i’ll have plenty of time to recover.

having a boss who is also chronically ill had its perks.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

my mental wellness has been a lot more stable lately.

there were a few weeks where i was having panic attacks every day.

i think it was spurred by a change in my medication, and it’s leveled off. last time i had a panic attack had to be more than a week ago.

so i think i’m back! i’m itching to be writing again.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

today i made an amends to an ex that i haven’t heard from in.... 5 years.

was really surprising, a little awkward, but fine.

did it.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

my upcoming diagnositc procedure has been cancelled because it was deemed "non-essential."

now i will go a indefinite number of months more without answers.

it's heartbreaking, honestly.

i'm sick.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

it's funny, i made this blog to process being chronically ill

and it can be so triggering to write about it!

i've avoided even checking this blog for a few weeks.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

i reconnected with a friend.

turns out we’re dealing with the same symptoms and are getting the same procedure done soon.

we literally reconnected and found this out at the same time.

makes me feel a little superstitious.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

cw: p*nic att*cks

from saturday evening to monday morning i’ve been having waves and waves of panic attacks. i don’t really know why.

but good news! i’m slowly but surely applying for contracts as a transcriptionist. when i have enough of a steady income from that, i can quit the job that i have now and really ! work ! from ! home !

it calms me down having that to look forward to.

[chronicallyillandthriving]

i’m going to be self employed soon :) it will be amazing

[chronicallyillandthriving]

amazing how the obsessive thinking can take over w no warning

[chronicallyillandthriving]

i ! heard ! back ! about ! a ! work ! from ! home ! position ! that ! i ! was ! really ! stoked ! about !

i need to buy noise canceling headphones, transcription software, and a foot pedal to do the assessment process before i’m officially hired, which i can do!

lol i have $-35.00 in my bank account right now but rent is payed for next month and my paycheck comes on the 26th. i’ll buy those things then.

and then i can work from home !!!! ahhhh !!!!