I feel too much.

Veterinary student suffering from chronic Lyme Disease & neurobartonellosis. Loves: my dog and my family.

[lemonmeirngue]

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

[unclebabie]

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

[cutedemonbabe]

I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat

[mynameisrown-deactivated2020111]

Oh well. 😂😂😂

[etherealyanna]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

having a child has taught me that every toddler is completely justified in their frustrations and tantrums because learning how to do something you have literally never encountered or heard of before is insane. and being expected to be completely calm in the face of this constant barrage of overwhelming information is doubly insane.

i got charlie a sticker activity book and it occurred to me i have to TEACH someone how to unpeel stickers. it's SKILL that requires DEXTERITY and FINE MOTOR ABILITY. i thought it was obvious that you have to curl the page a little bit to create a break in the cut so the sticker comes up.

obviously a fucking BABY wouldn't know that because they have no background experience to inform their thought process. OBVIOUSLY. and OBVIOUSLY the LITERAL BABY wouldn't get it right the first few times. it would OBVIOUSLY take practice. lots of it.

i hate this feeling. it's so obvious. why are children treated so badly when they're learning everything for the first fucking time. why do people treat children so horribly and expect so much. they're brand new. why didn't i get the same grace i give to my child? why did no one have patience for me? why, when it's this easy?

it's so easy. it's so fucking easy.

[t4t4t]

[chronically-issy]

And one rich cunt and his submarine has the entire trans Atlantic coast guard and navies are mobilised to save his ass

[nervousintrovertt]

And I know that someday,somewhere I'm gonna meet you again. I'd whine about everything that happened after you left,and you'll sit there with your ears all open yet not being able to fathom a single word,but I continue my blabbing. I'll tell you about how I bawled my eyes out the day you left,about how heart my ached everytime I thought of you,wishing that somehow there could be stairway leading to heaven so that I could see you for one last time. We would sit there reminiscing each and every single day of our lives together. Right now I'm ecstatic yet I'm in an apprehension.What if I wake up and realize that it was all a daydream,and there are still years I had to count to meet you again. I'm scared to open my eyes and find myself in a solitary.If it were infact just another dream,I hope to never open my eyes again.

[mesafox]

I find I always feel like it’s my fault when a pet dies because like you took them in and promised them safety, yet you couldn’t protect them in their final battle.

To anyone that needs to hear this: you did your best.

Maybe that still wasn’t enough

That’s okay

They would be proud of you

They wouldn’t want you to be sad

[thebaddragon]

When you wake up alone tomorrow,

And my paw is not near your head,

Please do not forget to get up,

And make it out of bed.

My bowl of water is probably still out,

And my food dish is most likely half bare,

But that's okay, no refill needed.

That's because I am not there.

You still need to get up,

There's others still needing you.

I have found another place for now,

That really needs me too.

I'm sorry, this must really hurt you,

To be so worried about my fate.

But I am safe where I found myself, for now,

And may not return, or will return extremely late.

Please do not blame yourself,

For our unplanned and sudden goodbye.

I saw something just out the door,

And you know me, I have a curious eye.

I know you will have moments of concern,

And I hope to one day return to your side.

But if that doesn't happen the way we expect,

Know our time together was never specified.

We never know how long we will have,

That's a part of living life, you see.

The time we shared in this lifetime,

Was perfect for you and me.

You and I found each other,

When I was ready to leave the litter.

We'll always have space in each other's heart,

So please don't let memories turn bitter.

You know everywhere to scratch,

And kept me happy as a cat could be.

It will be so very hard to lose you,

But think of this time away as temporary.

You always cared for my every need,

So good, I had no wants pending.

Unforseen circumstances got me outside today.

This unexpected separation, it's heart-rending.

I will miss your love and care for me,

You will miss my needy meow.

I will be alright even not by your side.

You will be okay, maybe just not right now.

I understand if you might have to put away,

Some of my toys and treats for a while.

And I will remember the years of love,

If you will remember we were happy, awhile.

If it takes me a long time to return,

I won't begrudge you the time to grieve.

I know my spot in your heart is forever,

Even if you let new whiskers grant a reprieve.

When tomorrow starts without me,

And no purrs find your ears to soothe the light,

Just know that we'll reunite over the Rainbow Bridge,

If no where else, and if not later tonight.

Reunite Over the Rainbow

[phooka-animation]

poem i wrote and illustrated, goodnight charlie 🖤

[home-sicko]

[just-sad-vibes]

why can i literally never have a normal reaction to anything

[thingsidontsay]

why does every little thing have to make me explode why do i get so fucking upset over everything i just want it to stop

[nemevex]

You will pity and hug people for being victims of abuse, which is supposed to be a good thing, but when the harsh reality of being an abuse victim kicks in, whether it be the development of BPD or other disorders, they are suddenly the scum of the earth and somehow DESERVE the horrific childhood physical, emotional and sexual abuse they went through.

Like, yes, it's true, and I won't deny it; having a loved one with BPD can be terribly difficult and harmful to deal with if they are not self-aware or in treatment, and they are very much capable of exhibiting toxic behaviours, but it's horrifying how people claim to support victims of abuse but their compassion immediately stops at any mental disorder developing as a result of that abuse.

[borderlinexcrazy]

"be yourself" thats the worst possible advice you could ever fucking give me i do not have a default personality

[m4nicpsych0]

abandonment issues slayyyy

[hubrisbasement]

they’re minor inconveniences to you, to me they’re world-ending tragedies

[bananaboyjasper-deactivated2023]

Understanding a person with BPD. ( Borderline Personality Disorder )

( mostly focused relationship-wise ) - J.

tw; mentions of s///h and su//c//de.

Let's say you are in a relationship with a person that has BPD, or perhaps they're a close friend, a family member, someone you generally know that you want to work well with. It can be quite challenging when you don't understand the symptoms or how to handle the situations that comes with it — yes, the symptoms will most likely affect the relationship, but it is important to understand that dealing with BPD is not easy either.

Us with BPD have a lot of struggles, let's get that out of the way. There is our fear of abandonment, rejection, judgement, unstable self-image or sense of self, rapid mood changes, impulsive behaviors, persistent feelings of emptiness and numbness, extreme rage, and more. There is a lot to learn and understand about it in order to work well with your partner and have good communication, I hope this small guide helps + my own experiences!

Show you appreciate your loved one. From a source — Someone with BPD may go out of their way to do things for their partner to make them happy because they want to receive love and affirmation in return. ( and from my own personal experiences, we generally have a lot of love to give. ) "If we don't get the recognition we think we deserve, then we'll start to feel like we hate our partners, because they didn't give us that feeling we wanted." ( This is called splitting. ) This can make us feel unappreciated and maybe even feel like our efforts of love was rejected/pushed aside. To avoid an issue like this, it's important to show your loved one that you appreciate them and the things they do. Individuals with BPD often search for honest validation and love, so if you feel it, be open about it.

Be prepared for mixed messages/responses. From a source — An individual with BPD can go from loving and adoring you ( idealization ) to feeling furious and "hating" you ( devaluation ) in a matter of hours to even mere minutes. Even when they do "hate" you, they still carry an overwhelming fear that you will abandon them. When these fears arise, be ready to offer comfort and meaningful reassurance; "I understand that your feelings are overwhelming right now, I understand that you feel afraid that I will leave you. I won't, okay? We will get through this and I am here to support you."

Be responsive. From a source — When an individual with BPD is trying to reach out to you or contact you, it is helpful to be responsive as possible. If their friend or loved one doesn't respond, the individual with BPD can feel rejected and maybe even feel bits of abandonment creeping in, as well as internalizing that as something being "wrong" with them or make them feel that they have done something wrong. This can lead to self-hatred and destructive behavior. It can be difficult for a person with BPD to handle conflict or feelings of rejection/abandonment because they often blame and punish themselves. 75% of people with BPD will turn to s*lf-h*rm*ng. This is not to say it is your fault if they turn to s*lf-h*rm*ng, but staying kind and responsive can make a positive difference.

Understand it is NOT their fault. From a source — BPD is quite known to cause immense stress and strain on a relationship. It can be challenging for a person to manage their symptoms in a way that doesn't affect their partners. So, when symptoms do flare, remember that they do not have control. Literally. This condition is known for it's lack of regulation or control over emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. You wouldn't blame a loved one for having cancer symptoms that might spill into everyday life, so do not blame someone for having a mental illness with active symptoms. Hold your judgement.

It is also extremely important to note, DO NOT MAKE US FEEL DOWNPLAYED. If we are in distress about something, avoid responses such as these;

"You're being dramatic."

"You're overreacting."

"You're acting crazy."

"You're being ridiculous."

"It's not a big deal."

"Why don't you just calm down."

"You're taking things way too seriously."

"I don't understand why you're acting like this."

I can almost promise you that these responses will only make the situation worse, and only fuels the fire. We are upset for a reason, we have our triggers for a reason, respect them. It may seem small and inconvenient to you, but it matters to us very much and that needs to be taken into consideration. Instead, respond positively with patience and support. Understand that we are feeling extremely overwhelmed at the moment and we need reassurance and comfort, not to feel downplayed or discredited. From my own experience, it only makes me feel like I am not being listened to, that my reasoning behind my distress isn't being taken seriously, my triggers aren't being respected, and it provokes my anger.

It is also important to be patient when splitting is occurring, it may seem ridiculous and dramatic to others, but it is a real thing and when we split, it is for a reason. For me personally, I feel extreme anger towards the person I am splitting from. I get unwanted violent thoughts, I want to say cruelest things, but afterwards, I get hit with a wave of depression and immense guilt and shame. We all experience this differently, but always remember it is out of our control and we remain self-aware. Stay understanding and supportive.

And remember, while it can be difficult for the other person to work with an individual with BPD, we are always acknowledging that. We know it isn't easy, but imagine how we feel. Imagine living with a constant whirlwind of worries, constant fears of rejection and abandonment, emotions turned up to the maximum, constantly on edge that we are doing something wrong, and even more. And while there is that, a lot of us have a lot of love to give. A lot of loyalty and devotion, and all we want in return is that acknowledgment, appreciation, and love from our partners. As well as honesty and respect.

( Please note that I am still new to this community and if any information is incorrect in any way, I will change it ) - J.

Closing quote.

"I couldn't trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any, and which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD.

I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations." — Rachel Reiland.

[potenxal]

i want nothing more than to be everything he deserves but how the fuck am i supposed to be that when a single trigger sends me into a spiral for hours

it’s not him. he’s perfect. he’s everything i need.

he’s so beautiful. he deserves perfection.

but here i am on the verge of tears over the tiniest inconveniences

i make an embarrassment of myself every chance i get

[max-julyfield]

i will cRy

the bridge of family line

heaven save me

conan's one of us