Chronicle’s Of Britney

Lvl: 35 ♏️ Traveling the 🇺🇸 on an 18 wheeler. Engaged 💍

[chroniclesofbritney]

You asked me who I was . I am all the songs shared between friends and lovers . I am full of all the hate buried deep inside muffled with tape and can’t breathe . . I am all the dreams I never fulfilled . I am the sacrament of reconciliation as this rosary burns . I am the full of the love I give freely but never get in return, fragile like porcelain.

[chroniclesofbritney]

I think a lot of people are carrying grief . It manifests all sorts of dances and defenses , even when the song’s been done playing for years . Maybe we’re all just trying to be okay . It’s 12am again and the worlds quiet but our favorite song is playing on a loop in these old wired headphones, in my dreams we’re dancing again but the song has ended , E=mc2 but what is energy without emotions?

[chroniclesofbritney]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳 well actually longer 😂 cause I remember being on tumblr in middle school in the 2000s 😂 but of course this one is newer

[chroniclesofbritney]

Oh wow , I haven’t been on here in forever. In the past year I’ve been just filming every day life and life has just gotten so buy

[chroniclesofbritney]

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain thrilled me -filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before ; so that now to still the beating of my heart ( part of The Raven - Edgar Allan Poe )🐦‍⬛ I miss you deeply , unfathomably , senselessly and terribly ♾️. Today’s year four without you ✨🖤✨🖤 😢

[chroniclesofbritney]

I sat with my 14 year old self for coffee. She’s excited that her and her best friend will be there for each other through so many things , even can’t wait to be next door to one another. I have to explain to her that after being friends for 21 years will end cause your 34 year old self did the right thing and you’ll no longer be like Thelma and Louis. She’ll look confused. But whenever I explain what happened, she’ll hug you and give you some grace .

[chroniclesofbritney]

I tell you what I’m exhausted. Just burned out, last year within a month of one another I lost two aunts . Then in the middle of January we lost Brandon’s sister and yesterday my dad’s mom. Before anyone says “ well that’s just life , death happens “. I get it I really do and I’m at my limit honestly. I feel like everytime a death happens it’s like concrete is being crushed onto me . Being “strong “ sucks and is overwhelming. And I’m tapped out . I’m tired of every phone call, text etc being about a death . Feels like I can’t even just take a few minuets to breathe . My soul is tired .

[chroniclesofbritney]

Yesterday we lost the biggest part of our family. My fiancée’s sister . She loved as big as the sky , she welcomed everyone with open arms . She will be missed tremendously

She was like a big sister that I never had. Forever grateful for acceptance since day one .

[chroniclesofbritney]

Every Christmas season since you passed away it’s been extremely difficult for me to be holly and jolly. I miss you being Santa to so many people. You thought me how to give back and always show kindness. I miss our days at the tree lot where at the end of the season selling them you always pulled me through the netting. I miss sitting in the old beat up camper that was the office drinking hot chocolate with you while we used that slider machine for cards . I remember whenever I was 15 and my first boyfriend Georgie asked you “ hey does she need help carrying that 10ft tree . As I threw it over my shoulder, you told him “ she’s a strong girl just let her do it , she’ll move mountains “. He said “ woah really loud 🤣” And Grandpa yes we’re still friends . Whenever I could I would play Christmas songs on grandma’s Charlotte’s piano for you each year even though it probably wasn’t the best but you always sat smiling while you were reading a book. Each Christmas you would get me a snow globe cause that’s the only way I could see snow in the south 🤣. I wish I still had those but whenever I see a snow globe I still shake it . You were the real Santa whenever you would go visit children in the burn units and donate the tree sales for children who wanted to go to college whenever their families struggled. I miss you endlessly. ✨🎄🎅🏼 love your pumpkin

[chroniclesofbritney]

✨💕🖤 Chapter 34 was November 6th . I hope this chapter shows me kindness. Chapter 33 was filled with lots of heartache with loosing both aunts back to back

[chroniclesofbritney]

Today you would’ve been 40 . So hard to believe. There’s still so many things that I so wished that you’ve could’ve experienced. 🍻. Miss you endlessly 🖤🐦‍⬛ and Happy Birthday 🎈

[javarisx-fightingthosedemons]

[chroniclesofbritney]

Your suicidal friend told you they were struggling and you asked them why.

You told them they should feel blessed regardless because they came a long way.

They struggled with parenting and you reminded them that they were lucky to even have kids.

They felt alone and you reminded them that ”at least they had a man.”

Your suicidal friend told you they were drowning and you reminded them you were too.

They cried of financial issues and you said at least they had more than you.

They said they felt lost and you said you were off track too.

They needed a break and you reminded them they just came back from vacation and had been more places than you.

So when your struggling friend becomes a cherished memory don’t ask why they didn’t come to you.

They did.

[chroniclesofbritney]

Honestly this year I’ve had so so much on my shoulders. Feels like I can’t even catch a break. I’ve lost two aunts within a month of one another, now my adopted grandmother isn’t doing well. Unfortunately I’ve had to missed being able to go back home to be able to be there for my aunts services. ( yes that’s challenging with the trucking world ) The only time lately I feel like what family I do have that wants to reach out is whenever someone has passed , which yeah thanks I appreciate it . Bit what about a hey Britney how are you doing , yeah lucky if I get that once a month or hey we really like it if you could make it back home etc . I get everyone is busy with life but once again “ oh she’s Linda’s daughter or oh she really doesn’t come around “ . I have to stand firm and up to my egg donor constantly about things so I’ve been treading water with her so yeah slowly backing away from that again . Cause shocker same ole situation. I’ve tried being present and listen to everyone but I’m just freaking tired . I do appreciate those that have randomly checked up on me but seems far and few between. As much as I’m always the person that everyone goes to vent frustrations to , I know at times i haven’t been the greatest listener cause of everything that’s been happening. Seems like I’ve just haven’t had the time to decompress cause I’m hit with everyone else’s issues I just can’t be there for that anymore . This has been on my mind for months now and I need to let it out. Who’s there for the person that’s always there for everyone else ? Linda now once again is pushing her getting saved down my throat, which with her it’s just a mask still doesn’t make me want to forgive her for everything she did. But whatever helps her sleep at night . People constantly yeah go figure telling me I need to forgive and move on yeah I don’t have to . I’m just done with it all I’m tired. 😪 Also I don’t care if I put this one here or not. This is my outlet to vent 👌🏻.

[chroniclesofbritney]

[chroniclesofbritney]

I haven’t been on here in awhile. Life’s been hectic. Also dealing with the fact I had to miss two funerals within my family. Also in general I haven’t felt like I’ve had to time to just decompress… just going and going. I have so much on my mind and feel like I have to keep shoving my thoughts down . I feel like no matter what I’ve tried to do , it isn’t working out or I am doing things and it just isn’t good enough. I want to be able to have a space where I just can vent to someone.. I don’t know lately I’ve felt extremely lonely.

[chroniclesofbritney]

Talk about a hard year . A few days ago my dad’s second oldest sister passed away within a month of their other sister. This was a shock to everyone. I don’t know what else to say accept please keep everyone in my family in your thoughts