Jim convinces Dwight that he’s a vampire

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Jim convinces Dwight that he’s a vampire
peter parker, expressing his affection as any teen would: thor i would die for you :)
thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of ten thousand burning suns: i would never let that happen
peter parker, later that week: i would die for you loki
loki, looking him dead in the eye: you will.
drax: [really bad joke]
peter parker: mr. drax? I would die for you
drax, with a pause spent determining that peter is probably joking and then a hearty guffaw: but my muscles and fighting power is several times your own! your death would be meaningless!
peter parker, in the middle of battle with no regard for his own safety: i would die for you
t'challa, who has lived with shuri long enough to know exactly what answer peter is looking for: then perish
Peter parker, jumping in front of steve: i would die for you mr. rodgers
Steven Grant Rodgers, a known idiot, somersaulting over peter: not if i die for you first
Peter Parker, one night over dinner: I would die for you aunt may
Aunt May, a worried mess and 100% done with this shit: not if you’re grounded for life you won’t
Peter Parker, out of the blue: I would die for you
Bucky, tired: oh not this again
god, GOD Freddie Mercury was such a fucking badass
Face all challenges with a shot of vodka and “I’ll fucking do it, darling.”
damn this tea scalded me
An abusive men often tries to convince his partner that his mistreatment of her is proof of how deeply he cares, but the reality is that abuse is the opposite of ove. The more a man abuses you, the more he is demonstrating that he cares only about himself. He may feel a powerful desire to receive your love and caretaking, but he only wants to give love when it’s’ convenient.
So is he lying when he says he loves you? No, usually not. Most of my clients do feel a powerful sensation inside that they call love. For many of them it is the only kind of feeling toward a female partner that they have ever had, so they have no way of knowing that it isn’t love. When an abusive man feels the powerful stirring inside that other people call love, he is probably largely feeling:
-The desire to have you devote your life to keeping him happy with no outside interference.
-The desire to have sexual access
-The desire to impress others by having you be his partner
The desire to possess and control you
These desires are important aspects of what romantic love means to him. He may well be capable of feeling genuine love for you, but first he will have to dramatically reorient his outlook in order to separate abusive and possessive desires from true caring, and become able to really see you.
Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That? (pg. 65)
Not all men are abusers, but most abusers are men. Abusive men are men taken to the logical extreme; an abuser’s mentality is largely shaped by their social and personal upbringing and sense of entitlement.
all pedophiles should die and theres literally no downside to them all dropping dead
Well, here is one downside.
Somebody would get stuck with the job of moving so many corpses out of parliament before they began to rot.
STORY TIME:
I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)
Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.
Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.
He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.
He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.
Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:
“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”
The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”
I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.
And that is the story of the best customer I’ve ever had. Be kind to somebody today.
I didn’t reblog earlier.
So I am now.
Be kind. It’s worth the effort.
staff You are recommending that I follow a nazi blog I blocked last night. Your site promotes anti-semitism to Jews. Your site shoves Nazi Swastikas in the faces of Jews. It’s bad enough that the Nazi blogs seem to be sprouting up like weeds on a site that claims to have an anti-hate policy, but to actively promote them to people who have taken the steps of blocking these blogs is beyond the pale. Clean this place up. It’s turning into Stormfront. I encourage everyone who sees this post, Jewish or otherwise, to reblog it. Tumblr has been ignoring the growth of Nazism on this site for too long. It needs to end.
Santa is on strike due to global warming. All presents this year will be delivered by Sasha the Christmas Tiger. Milk and cookies may not be sufficient.
“MUST BRING PRESENTS TO GOOD CHILDREN”
“Yes good”
“AND EAT THE BAD ONES”
“Wait no”
“EAT THEM”
“sasha no”
@burstofhope the Christmas tiger is watching
She is making a list
It is not easy with her paws but she is making it
shes almost here
Okay fine this is the ONE Christmas thing I will reblog before Thanksgiving BUT THAT’S IT
SASHA’S BACK ON MY DASH!
Y’all better behave, you have two months
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
what she says: “Oh I don’t mind; we can eat anywhere. I’m not picky.”
what she means: “For my entire life, I’ve been called bossy/picky/selfish/arrogant/bitchy for voicing my own opinions and making my views known, so now when someone I care about asks me about what I want, my immediate gut reaction is to defer to the other person’s preference. it’s less of a hassle to capitulate to someone else’s desires than to risk having someone verbally berate me for being truthful about what I want.”
SCREAM THIS FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP
heartbreaking: local cat has never been fed in entire life, says local cat
sources close to cat claim cat may have actually been fed between four to six hours ago. these claims are still under investigation.
REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.
John William Godward (1861 –1922)
#I can’t come I’m sick [tiny elegant cough]
now THIS is an artist who found what worked for him and worked it to its utmost. “What is it you like to depict?” “Beautiful pale women with dark hair in diaphanous gowns lying down in this one specific pose”
He was also a master of “titties glimpsed thru sheer fabric”
I just realized the climax of the Lion King is kind of hilarious.
Because it came down to a showdown fight between Scar and Simba. And here’s something great about them: they are the weakest little shits.
Scar was this skinny twig of a lion who probably only got the 11th+ portion of any kill because nobody liked him, and the only way he could one-up anyone was through trickery, and/or by softening them up with a wildebeest herd.
Simba grew up without ever having to chase his prey or work particularly hard because he lived on a diet of insects and nothing else. Nala could kick his ass because she was a goddamn proper hunter.
So the final battle was the equivalent to a pasty-faced metrosexual teen slap-fighting a starving 60-year old
10/10
holyshit
it is based on Hamlet, so yes.
Kelston Boys’ High School perform a massive haka in honour of the new Maori carving on campus
I live for this
This is the first recording of a Haka I’ve seen that manages to capture even a fraction of the true energy of it. And it’s because there’s so many of them that those boys would have been shaking the ground.
Seeing these boys in their modern uniforms and jackets and backpacks that say NIKE, participating in this ancient ritual, really just drives home what people mean when they say “I am not a costume.” The clothes here are not important. The energy and participation are important.
CULTURE
Everyone reblog this as much as possible over the next two weeks for good luck
“this reblog was flagged as explicit”