hi. i found your post today.
you’re sitting on your dorm bed a thousand miles from home, convinced you’re failing at everything, scared you made the wrong choice, missing people who feel like oxygen, and trying so hard to believe that this will all be worth it.
so let me tell you what happens.
first—yeah. you do fail some classes. you lie about it. your parents find out. it’s messy. it’s embarrassing. it feels like the end of the world.
you move back to florida. you get a job at a daycare “just for now,” and it ends up changing your life. you fall in love—not with a person, but with teaching, with kids, with being someone safe for them. you change your major again. this time, it actually fits.
then the world literally shuts down. you lose that job. everything is uncertain and scary.
you break your knee. again. (yeah, i know.) it’s awful. you have surgery. you have to relearn how to walk. you move back in with mom, and it’s exactly as hard as you’re afraid it would be. maybe worse.
you start nannying because you need to survive.
you come out. not bi this time—lesbian. and it feels like finally telling the truth out loud.
things get really dark for a while. like, really dark. darker than you’ve ever admitted, even in that post. but you stay. you choose to stay. and that matters more than you know.
you start therapy. you get on medication. you let go of the version of your life you thought you had to follow. you stop trying to force college to work when it’s breaking you.
and slowly—slowly—things start getting better.
your relationship with dad heals. not perfectly, but enough. enough to feel like you have him again.
some people leave. some without explanation. and it hurts in a way that never fully goes away.
but some people come back. olivia does. you find your way back to each other.
you meet her and at first she’s just… there. important, but not yet. and then suddenly she’s everything. her, and belle. your people. your home. the kind of friendship you used to dream about but didn’t think you’d actually get to have.
you lose your childhood dog the same day they show up to see you. it’s devastating. but you’re not alone in it.
and then you do something that would absolutely terrify you right now:
you move across the country. again. but this time, it’s not running away—it’s running toward something.
you move to california. you live near nina. you become part of her family. you become “auntie coco.” you build a life that feels warm and real and yours.
you go back to teaching. not because you have to—but because you want to.
and your life? it’s not perfect. it’s not what you planned.
you’re happy. like, genuinely, deeply happy in a way you don’t even have the capacity to imagine yet.
you have people who love you. you have a place that feels like home. you have a life you chose.
i know it feels like everything is falling apart.
it’s just… rearranging into something you can’t see yet.
there is light at the end of the tunnel.
it might not be turned on. it might not even be plugged in.
and one day, you’re going to be the one who wires it.
2087
kianamaiart
vaporwave
izzy806
stormborns
gummygunk
