—– relationship prompt, levels one - three. abuse cw ahead. long post ahead. ( 1582 words )
LEVEL ONE: kylo and relationships do not go hand - in - hand. whether familial, platonic, or romantic. he handles many of them poorly due to trust issues ingrained in him from the past. he sees any tethers as something that could be used to control him, something he does not want. kylo has no close family, or strong connections to any of them. he has told himself that he will no longer be a part of their lives, as they abandoned him in the long run. allowed him to wade into the depths of the dark and for it to swallow him like a tide. watch him drown.
kylo is close in a sense to only a few people. his knights are some that he is close to, because they understand what he has been through. after all, they too are former disciples of luke and know what happened.
romance isn’t something he gets into, either. not really. kylo is a lost soul, drifting through the void of space and his own thoughts. he doesn’t consider romance but deep down he yearns for it in some form. for affection without the need to strut himself around, without the need to prove himself worthy of anything. it’s an incredibly difficult feat, all being said, to get him to admit feelings. but he can and will show them without meaning to. he is a creature of emotion, after all.
kylo will dive headfirst into the waters and swim for the deepest end. he is greedy, conflicted, and will grasp onto what he can in any shape or form, even if it means some sort of twisted venture. even if it means being treated like a dog. deep down, he wants to be loved, wants to be told that he is cared for and that someone will be there for him. deep down, he wants to be rescued.
ben on the other hand is a whole other story. after his redemption ( something that takes a while to get accepted anywhere, for him to be allowed to roam and be himself ). ben solo has finally realized that he cannot rely on his anger or hatred, or cling to voices that whisper sweet promises and only deliver lies.
ben has the closest familial relationship to . . . well. chewie would be the one to look to, as the rest of his family is . . . not there. chewie is the one that helps him stay grounded, and reminds him of the days past where he was a boy riding on fluffy wookie shoulders, laughing and clinging for him to carry him everywhere.
otherwise, ben is very close to only a select few people outside of his family. platonically, he is very close to rey in most instances, because she is the one that helped guide him back to a light he had so sorely ignored.
when it comes to influencing his choices, chewie and rey are his more steady rational thoughts. they show him it’s okay to feel and to have . . . well. to be not so angry at the galaxy and to finally breathe again, that he’s got family and friends. they show him that there can be a connection somewhere out there.
ben also is romantic, even if it’s awkward. he is horribly sappy about his romance and will smile goofily and laugh and enjoy himself. he nurtures his feelings rather than shunting them away. again, he dives in head first, but like this . . . he doesn’t find himself in toxic situations. he somewhat keeps himself at a steady pace.
both ben && kylo ( both times of his life ) are influenced by how he was treated growing up. snoke, palpatine? the abuse and manipulation he went through affects both areas of his life and it shows in his hesitance in many steps and his desperation in others. snoke’s influence was just as physically abusive as verbally and mentally. shredding him into many pieces until he thought of himself as nothing, despite how he fought to show he was worth something. because of snoke, he still has bouts where he tries to show he’s worth something, even if it’s unprompted.
LEVEL TWO: making a jump from platonic to romantic with kylo usually doesn’t take much. he is a creature of greed and a great desperation to get love and affection. to get any form of attention that can be considered ‘romantic’. it’s led him down very toxic paths and can still do so at times when he’s later on as ben. generally, however, showing him affection in a way that’s considered more than platonic is usually a way to get him to get somewhere deeper, whether kylo or ben.
kylo looks for power, for a way that someone can hold it. he is extremely attracted to the way someone can show him his place if he needs it. this is because he’s a loose cannon, lost and blazing. he needs an anchor, and taking control and reminding him of his place is one way to get him extremely into you, or get his attention. either way, his eyes will be on you.
ben is much more simple and can be attracted to many things. generally just showing him affection once more can catch his attention. he easily falls for those that can care for him, once his walls are down. sleepy soft touches and gentle caresses are the way to go with him.
for both areas of his life, you are easily disqualified and tossed aside in terms of any interest if there’s some sort of force that he doesn’t like in there ( very much so with ben ). kylo likes a little force but he can not and will not be dragged through the dirt like snoke does to him. it’s a very fine line to walk.
for the longest time, kylo was waiting for . . . someone. he never knew who. but that fell away after a while, as he thought he would never get to be with that person, and even more so later on. becoming ben once more has rekindled a soft spot for this person but he doesn’t hold his breath on it. he’s a nervous thing and will not hold hope for many things when he’s very . . . fractured at the moment, and pulling himself together. be kind and patient with him, and he’ll come around.
either way, kylo tends to stay away from ‘actual’ relationships. from actually admitting love, out of fear it will be ripped away from him like everything else.
LEVEL THREE: trust for kylo is a very fickle thing but oh, once you have it, you certainly know. he will allow himself to fall open and vulnerable, show his emotions on his face rather than hiding them away behind his mask. allow himself to be seen more often, and to show the most exposed bits of himself. he will become more tame, more soft spoken, more . . . obedient, in a sense. in some cases, he allows all of his vulnerabilities to show and will openly allow you to touch him wherever you want.
kylo is a physically starved creature that will greedily take any touches and gestures of affection and run with them. anything is like slaking a thirst of a man lost in the desert for days, a relief that’s so powerful he seeks it out in desperation at times, leading him to moments that aren’t the best. he enjoys pet names, at least to some degree, but will not give out any himself. he will use titles if they are involved however, more than gladly.
get kylo to trust you, and he may allow you into his life and see glimpses of the true him. of who he used to be. the soft smiles and the gentle looks in his eye. to earn kylo’s trust in the degree of a relationship means that he’ll actually let you see that part of himself that’s long been closed off and distance, that he has deemed himself unworthy of.
ben however, is another story in a way. the gestures that imply trust from ben are vast. he shows it openly, and will gladly let you see everything about him. he doesn’t trust easily however, not after believing most of the galaxy is after him and hates him. but he will show it in soft touches, small hooking fingers, linked pinkies and gentle smiles and even laughter.
he shows his love just as openly as his trust once you have it. sweeping gestures of romance and adorably sappy things. hand-written letters of calligraphy and gentle touches of fingers across your body. anything he can get and still tries to get, though not as greedily and desperate as he would if he were still in the phase of his life as kylo.
ben doesn’t mind pet names, but tends to use one or two sometimes. just something dropped in the middle of a conversation or to get attention. loving little ‘love’ or perhaps some variation of a nickname more than a pet name. small things that don’t really get picked up on unless you’re really paying attention.
one thing is for certain in both the kylo && ben aspects of his life. gain his trust, and he will not stray from your side. whether he’s greedy and grasping, or gentle and laughing.
—– headcanon prompting brought to you by the rpcdev ( HERE! ) and completed for the monthly challenge !
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