she big on my mac

has your journey been good? giselle | 26 | she/they

[lasesmed]

genuinely the funniest thing ive seen on reddit

[bishonen]

yikes 😬unfollowing rn sorry… i didn’t realize they didn’t support sinister and evil women with huge boobies my bad 

[goldensunset]

*guy stuck in a timeloop voice* well the years stop coming and they don't start coming

[official-time-loop-posts]

Official Time Loop Post

[termagax]

Hello there. Guess how much money I made last year? $28. I’m an investment banking analyst at a boutique firm, in M&A. I have my undergrad from the University of Chicago, one of the top schools in the country. With bonuses, sometimes I make even more. Are you jealous of that? Most people on Tumblr are usually jobless or they decided to major in the humanities and are poor.

$28?

[cher3pakhi]

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

[naamahdarling]

We will meet here again on that day. This is my sacred promise to you.

[orteil42]

there's this sort of default assumption online that you're meant to have watched the latest defunctland, hbomberguy or dan olson video in a manner i'd compare to "catch the game last night?"

[puniper]

Today is 4/20

you know what that means?

happy day to the juicy lucy

[bodyofdeath]

crossfaded on what no longer is and what remains to be seen

[jodiefoster]

basic human decency !!!!!!! Empathy and compassion !!!!!! Very sexy concepts !!!!!!

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

dropped an embroidery needle on my floor in the dark and couldn't recover it so hopefully a bug is about to use it as a sword and go on some adventures and shit

[garaks-padded-bra]

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

[sakhafa]

no one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying)

[digitalwizard01]

There's something thats just so incredibly funny about the Afroman lawsuit cause theres literally no substance to it. Seeing all these cops getting upset and offended by Afroman music in a courtroom setting is just so fucking funny. Like a lawyer asking a cop "what private information of yours exactly was breached by the phrase "receding hairline dipshit"?" Like you could have saved yourself the extra humiliation, but instead you guys took it to court and now everyone has seen your sheriff literally break down crying over a song that says she licks pussy. Thats just objectively hilarious

[digitalwizard01]

I can't get over this. Afroman releasing individual diss tracks about each of the cops is so good. Cause like its one thing to make one or two songs about the house raid, but then to proceed to make a song called "Randy Walters is a son of a Bitch", call him out by name and say you fucked his wife, and then have that same cop go on court record saying he cannot confirm or deny that he got cucked by Afroman. Like congrats man. Before, everyone just thought he was joking about fucking your wife, but now you wont deny it

[mesooph]

primadonna girl

[theweirdwideweb]

[yuriartillery]

showing someone something that's layered and well-constructed for the first time sucks because every five minutes you have to stop yourself from saying "daaaaaamn with the context you don't have this moment kinda goes hard though"