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You Make Me Brave: 2020

In an effort to create some increased self-awareness, I sent a request nto some of the folks on my post-it list. As Brene Brown puts it, a post it list, is a list of people who you love, who love you, and will call you on your bullshit with love.

The responses were validating, scary, humbling, beautiful, and eye-opening.

I pinned the aggregate list to my office tack board for reference and review…

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New Year, New Me? No Thank You.

Quick relevant note as we share this new year, new me time together.

I LOVE when people are passionate about something in their life.

Cool – you are into pop tart smoothies and you’ve never felt better.

Cool – you’ve decided that mental health medications are the devil.

Cool – you’ve found religion and it ALL makes sense.

Not cool – I have to agree with the thing that changed your life and then…

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Healed People, Heal People.

A few years ago, I wrote a post called Dear 15 Year Old Sissy. Sissy (beard) was the pseudonym that I used at the time. However, it is with significant gratitude that I no longer need Sissy or a bullshit post about love and forgiveness to make myself feel okay in the world. That post is in the trash bin where it belongs.

About a year ago, I embarked on some real intentional therapy. In the past,…

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I Don't Forgive You and I Might Hate You.

I Don’t Forgive You and I Might Hate You.

I recently attended a training by Debby Irving, the author of Waking up White. It was a phenomenal training on so many levels that my therapist, my husband, and my co-workers and I will be processing this with me for days and months to come.

One of the parts that struck me the most was when she put up the image for the old television show “Father Knows Best” and how when she deconstructed the…

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My Comfortable Concentration Camp.

I’m sitting in the sun reading. This is probably my single most favorite thing to do. However, these intrusive thoughts keep blasting in my head “we literally have concentration camps at the border”

We literally have children and families housed in camps along the border of the country. I commit at least 30% of my income in taxes to supporting this country. This makes me complicit in these camps.…

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No! Not Every Mom Loves Their Child.

In cultural awareness work, there is a concept called minimization. This is a stage of cultural understanding that overemphasizes what the person believes are universal human values and under-emphasizes differences. As a culture, I believe we are not even at minimization because we spend so much time in polarization (me versus you). But, I digress.

Why this topic today? In the past few months…

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This Relationship is Over.

This post has been simmering in my mind this week.

It’s simple really: Love = Freedom

I never owe anyone my time, my texts, my love, my phone calls, my emails, my responses (yes I have a job where this line is professional but that is not what I’m referring to).

Love is freedom. We don’t own people, people don’t own us. We are free to float in and out of people’s lives when and how we see fit. We…

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God Is Cat Hair

What a beautiful day.

I guest lectured for one of my bests classes (Una). You know when someone is a best because you feel better just sharing time with them.

And then, I went to talk with people struggling with chronic heart disease. I asked the room to reflect on a time where they felt real joy.

One woman proudly exclaimed that joy is when she nuzzles her cat and that is where she feels closest…

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Be Gentle To The Tomato

“whatever you do be gentle with yourself. you don’t just live in this world or your home or your skin. you also live in someone’s eyes.” ― Sanober Khan

I had a dentist appointment last week and my hygienist was in shock that I had some recession in my gums. Naturally, I was ashamed, and wanted to know what I had done wrong. My husband scored me a fancy new electric tooth brush and I was buzzing…

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Keep Your Dumb Envelopes Dave Ramsey: I'm Proud of My Debt.

Keep Your Dumb Envelopes Dave Ramsey: I’m Proud of My Debt.

Yesterday, I was drinking my coffee watching the news and this woman came on talking about a book she wrote about millennials and debt. She talked about how people my age need to work harder to pay off student loans, credit cards, and mortgages (if you are lucky enough to own a home). She was so full of shit that Bryan and I cussed out the television and went on our way.

The idea that my purpose…

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If It Is Cruel, It Is Not True.

Last week I was teaching a course on mindfulness and self-compassion. A man in the room was reflecting on the cruel voice in his head. Without pause, I stated that if it’s cruel it’s not true. He tried to rebuttal but I would not have that. Who knows where I get this certainty about things but of this I am absolutely certain.

If it’s cruel about you are anyone else – it is not true. There are…

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One Minute With You.

I was having lunch with a colleague this week and she recently experienced a loss. She’s close to my age and she said that this was the first loss she’s ever experienced in her life. Not knowing her that well, I did not share that I knew loss intimately.

The same day I was wandering social media and read a story about significant words people have shared and one man reportedly told his daughter…

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Amber, We'll Try Again Tomorrow

Amber, We’ll Try Again Tomorrow

Dear Sweet Amber,

First, let me say that you have been such a gift to my life in so many ways. I can’t express enough how much love and joy you bring to the world. Your energy has healed my brother in ways that you will never understand and that I could never thank you enough. It seems silly to thank someone for just being who they are in the world but you are extra special so I want you to know…

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Paradise is With You.

Well, I started this post on Monday morning and then the week went to complete shit. Like garbage pile of burning hell shit.

So it goes.

I’m reading this brilliant book titled The Atlas of Depression by Andrew Soloman. In it, he explores the world of mental health as it relates to mood disorders.

On Sunday night, before the week turned into a garbage pile of complete shit, I read about how as his…

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#450: How to tighten up your game at work when you're depressed.

#450: How to tighten up your game at work when you’re depressed.

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Who Knows?

My director looked at me Monday and said “Oh, you’re thinking” (like she could see I was beyond thinking and well into deep contemplation). I was and I am still deep in contemplation.

Let me share with you a little story that the Buddhist, Pema Chodron likes to tell and always gives me pause when I’m deep in contemplation with no answers to the unsolvable questions.

We Never Know

When we think…

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To Breathe With You.

If wealthy, highly visible women in news and entertainment are sexually harassed, assaulted and raped — what do we think is happening to women in retail, food service and domestic work? — Charlene Carruthers, via twitter.comI am going to start this post by saying that despite it all, I absolutely believe that most people care about what happens to the people in their world. I believe that if we…

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