World - My Oyster

Me. Just like you. Wondering where this road takes me.

[claimingthehappiness]

Update

We live in Fort Wayne now. By we, I mean Oliver and I. Abhinav is able to visit more often now though.

I have a job, it pays well. Stopped my breathing and meditation and still think about kicking myself back on track because I'm not good. Not even better. Good days, bad days. Depression. Money will make you happy, but it cannot keep you happy.

Our H1B visa cleared! Thank God. Don't have to worry about having to find a new job just to stay in the country just yet. I have pretty much everything that I wanted 1 year ago. Life, love, career overall is great great great. But my mind isn't. I guess because I'm always wanting more, expecting more, not being grateful for what I have in this moment.

Geetika will be visiting for Christmas, we're going to Austin for New Year's, hoping to finally visit India in January and be able to attend Geetika's wedding.

I was depressed before, at times, but then I went to Denver last weekend and that fucked me up for lot worse. I started focusing on the deficit in my life - friends, fancy house, companionship, career that is growing and not stagnant. Started taking anti depressants. Definitely taking more than is needed, will be cutting up the pill in half today onwards. Tasha died. Fuck. That messed me up big time without me knowing it. I think about her everyday. Before that Naima died.

I definitely like my work place and people now more than before (when I initially started). I like the team we have now. I don't despise going to work anymore.

Things are good, great even. Focus on the positive. You'll find 9 positives with 1 negative.

11.14.2021 11:28 am

[claimingthehappiness]

I forgot to introduce Oliver!

[claimingthehappiness]

Doing this blog thing is not easy.

I have no determination for it.

[claimingthehappiness]

Snowy nights..

[claimingthehappiness]

One day just rolls into another.

[claimingthehappiness]

No patients in oral surgery today.

10.22.20

[claimingthehappiness]

Another shot at it?

Well hello there, how you doin’?

If you ask me, I am well. Thank you. Btw, it just hit me that I was writing a blog two years ago! My last post suggests that I was accepted at UC Denver but was still waiting on the surety of the F-1 visa going through.

Hmm.. sounds intense. Well guess what guys? Two years just fucking rolled by. I am graduating in 50 days! And now soon we’ll again be at the stage where we’ll be worrying about the H1 visa this time. LOL, such is life. But now that I look back - all I can recall is just the last two years - the ups and downs, the good and the bad. All of it.

I wouldn’t even know where to start.. but let’s just sum it up, in no particular order. Last two years I lost myself and then I found myself. Growth is definitely not a pleasant experience. I met my best friend, lost him for 6 months and then found him again (for better now); went crazy with the alcohol (sounds like a repeating theme in my life, wouldn’t you say? But we’re on very good and respectful terms now, I promise.) We even went to therapy guys! Well for whoever is wondering how that feels, I personally recommend it. I had to make some really tough decisions after that but I am glad I did, and ‘I’ did it. I took charge and changed my life for the better. We also journaled for a few months, but due to unmentionable painful content, it was cut up into a million pieces and thrown down the trash chute. I fell sideways in love and then fell in love with Abhinav all over again! Oh and COVID happened. I also had a job at the school, not anymore though. I even learnt driving! Not on the highway yet, but it ain’t as scary I thought it would be. Damn we even fucking went to a Troyboi concert and ..!! (Shhh, but we also got pregnant. Its taken care of but that shit fucks with your body and head.)

And now we breathe. Seriously. Breathing is this new thing I’m into. I guess it could be a phase. But I enjoy it, I will also attach a picture of my observations that I noted after doing the Art of Living Happiness Program and continuing that practice for about 2-3 weeks. (If I may let you in on a secret, I think it is truly a genius. I think this is the thing that will indeed save the world. Or save our minds at least.)

Honestly, I would like to do my breathing regime and meditation everyday, because I see such tangible results but I have not been super disciplined about it. I had kind of been falling off the wagon the last 2-3 weeks actually. But we good now. 7 consecutive days!? You go girl! And I have the Silence Retreat coming up on Thanksgiving.

I have an analogy for you. You know how you can only use your mobile and laptop until it runs out of battery and then you need to recharge it? Similarly I feel breathing and meditation is like a recharge for the soul. Coupled with some wisdom teachings, well I might not be enlightened but I sure am better and happier.

Sanchita today surprisingly mentioned that she needs to meditate, cause of impatience and irritability. That is something I would have said to describe myself. But is it possible that she has seen more patience in me lately? Seen me not make better decisions, but perhaps at least trying to make better decisions? Call it wishful thinking, but whatever floats my boat, right?

Oct 22, 2020 - 1:34 AM

[claimingthehappiness]

Follow for great dentistry.

[claimingthehappiness]

#faith #thankyougod https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnp5TLCgoWT/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=iljxznx8yz92

[claimingthehappiness]

True Story.

Half of the things that you worry about never even happen.

Incident update coming up.

[claimingthehappiness]

You need to hear this.

[claimingthehappiness]

[claimingthehappiness]

I have been lazy. I know I should be more regular with writing as I promised, but there were days at a stretch when absolutely nothing important enough was happening that I could write about. Or if things did happen, they happened so fast that when I got free and thought about penning down all these thoughts and edit the drafts, I just felt so lazy and hence procrastinated up until now.

Even now I am using the voice to text feature to get me started. (And then I actually went back in to edit, because the amount of typos that thing has - and no punctuations!! - that none of this would make any sense. Not that it makes much sense now. Sorry.)

So many things have happened since the last time, I got accepted for one (I will probably do a separate post on that), went to Chandigarh, practiced, came back, went to Denver, gave the interview and bench, waited for two weeks, went to Milwaukee for a Mission of Mercy Dental Camp in the mean time, then headed to San Francisco for another ten days to see my love (it was amazing), fought with my sister so much, went to the Church twice in Madison! (and prayed for the same happiness and blessing for her that I was showered with, God has really been faithful)

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

- Hebrews 11:1

Got so lazy that I haven't written thank you mails yet and not gone to see the dentists I shadowed (huuuuge shout-out to them!! I promise to do so in or before December - when I'll be completely sure I'm good to go). And finally came back to Delhi just two days back.

Since then, I've been aching to go to Manipal. Go crazy one last time. Oh and I quit drinking. None of the other things though. :P

Also got a non-believer friend to start reading the Bible and watch videos! (Actually not me, God did that. He's at work in their life, like mine)

Now I am just lying here like a sloth and since I am completely jobless for the next few months (not really, but I'll get back to those clerical things in a month, I guess) - I decide to share here all the exciting plans I have for my future. The things I want to achieve, my vision.

This will

Help me actually stay on track with what I want to achieve in a more tangible way, and bring out great results (I'm super hopeful and full of positivity today for a change, huh?)

Give me an opportunity to journal every day like I would have liked to promise myself.

That's it for now guys.

Hang in there. Have faith. Pray. Praise. More and more glory to you Lord.

P. S. If there's something (or even nothing) that I can pray for you, let me know. Lots of love.

[claimingthehappiness]

[claimingthehappiness]

At peace the most when surrounded by books. It's like a big warm hug.

[claimingthehappiness]

[claimingthehappiness]

(via Finding a Job as a New Dentist)