The Adventures of Spicy and Crisp

Sideblog where we (Spicy n Crisp) share random shit we've overheard people saying at school. Feel free to send us your own, or ask for context! Posts are grouped into our subjects.

[shitwesaid]

A: “Cheese on top of more cheese? How…Decadent.” B: “Do you even know what decadent means?” A: “It means cheese on top of more cheese.” Submitted by: @saturniidae-served-cold

[bellygangstaboo]

I am deceased

[bellygangstaboo]

minor update:

[enbyriot]

reblog to make racists get over 7,500 spam emails and have a well known company make fun of them

[natural--blues]

Yeah there’s a beautiful bot site that if you put an email in it, will subscribe you to thousands of mailing lists.

Oops I dropped the site right here use it wisely

[penny-anna]

LOTR + text posts 4/? (Merry & Pippin edition)

Keep reading

[alwaysunnyonmtv]

Looking at this makes me so tired.

[synclaires-deactivated20181208]

Every year, multiple times a year, they convince ppl to fork out thousands of dollars and….literally nothing changes. There’s no doubt in my mind they’re pocketing most of this money lol

[nutheadgee-deactivated20190314]

Yep

[bihet-dragonize]

That’s what’s so wild to me. They’ve made exactly 0 changes other than adding the ‘Exclude’ tags and that def doesn’t take 130k.

[nonegenderwithleftbees]

You know if any of you actually bothered to click the link it’ll take you to their budget update and break down exactly what the spend the money on, over 70% of which is spent on server expenses, monitoring tools and system licences.

They also spent a good amount of the rest of the 30% budget on significant server overhaul costs. 

AO3 is literally a service you get for free and the audacity you’d have to not bother reading the very open budget plan they have, but to then bitch and whine about people donating to keep the site running is wild. 

https://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/11192

[nerd-bastard]

fuck all y'all, you don’t know a goddamn thing about the skill and effort it takes to run a site like AO3.

[callmearcturus]

brb throwing ten bucks at the AO3 to spite you dumbfucks who think server space is free and magic

[showerthoughtsofficial]

People who drink soy milk in their coffee are just adding bean water to bean water

[overflowchute]

me doing japanese homework:

wait a minute….

[8foldhero-deactivated20181214]

this makes so much more sense now???

[intel-i386-deactivated20160703]

Why didn’t this meme come with a translator’s note

[lebhetyse]

Tan What The Gay Hell Is Going On France

[setheverman]

Ideal number of teeth?

as many as i can get my hands on

[trombonechurchill]

[officerhaughtstuff]

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

[heterokatedison]

is it too early or can we start screaming now

[iocane]

There’s actually a fair deal of overlap between cultural decades.  So not only is it acceptable to start screaming now, we can keep screaming up to the mid 30′s.

[showerthoughtsofficial]

Barbecue sauce is like meat frosting.

[beeshibe]

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

[beeshibe]

she’s so pleased with her self

incredible

parents are weird 

[voidbat]

yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.

you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.

but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support

well gosh. look what happens.

please tell your mom good job.

[mother-teresa-with-a-dick-deact]

a shitpost became a teachable moment

[just-shower-thoughts]

If we ever become a spacefaring species with established colony worlds, cookbooks will need to include planet-specific acceleration due to gravity so that ingredients can be weighed on different planets and the correct mass for the recipe determined.

[cygnusnokodomo-deactivated20180]

Please appreciate this Japanese shitpost

[readysetgaikokujin]

I’m gonna show this to Hubs

[steeple333]

explanation time:

“ni” = 2 in Japanese. so “ni”colas cage = 2 heads they replaced the “ni” with 1 and 3, making iccolas cage up top and sancolas cages on the bottom

i.e., its the japanese equivalent of that janear, jafar meme

[jumpingjacktrash]

thank u friend i would not have known how very important this post is without your kind translation

[publicschoolstories]

Another 'Things I've Overheard' Submission:

- *yelled across the classroom* ‘I HAVE 71% BIG DICK ENERGY' 

Teacher, in response: 'are you on BuzzFeed again?’

- *in sex ed, asking for slang words for penis* Meat flute

- 'I have blonde hair and blue eyes- I’m hitler’s wet dream’

- *sex ed again, this time asking for slang for intercourse* Fun dancing

- 'Ain’t no party till the isopod arrives’

- 'I hate baristas, they always have better teeth than me and it makes me nervous’

[classroom-shitpost]

It’s too far to get out there - too far to walk. Do you see how short my legs are?

-English

[classroom-shitpost]

Teacher: “I have no idea why I did that.” Student: “Cos you suck!”

-Biology

[classroom-shitpost]

Fondle the gooseberries.

-Recess