how do you justify that nesta is not evil?
Because she’s not. Plain and simple. Nesta is many things but evil she is not. Frankly, as a character, Nesta is one of the most realistic. She is deeply flawed, shaped by circumstance, environment and privilege. Often, she is criticised for traits male characters are loved for. Rhysand’s unbridled, devastating rage, Cassian’s arrogance, Azriel’s cold and often emotionless nature. Even Manon Blackbeak carries several similar features as Nesta Archeron and yet the Witch is beloved and pardoned a lot more than Nesta.
Yes, Nesta sent Feyre to hunt. She let her baby sister go into the forest and she admitted that she let that happen. That it was either starve or let Feyre go because she knew that she couldn’t do it. Neither could Elain. She also was the only one to go after Feyre. Even after the glamours disappeared, Nesta sent Feyre away to be happy because she knew that Feyre was never meant for the life she had in the mortal realm. Nesta was born and raised in money, wealth, privilege. She was shaped by a mother who preferred parties over her children. The life Nesta grew up in is massively different from the life Feyre developed in. And that makes them all the more different. Let’s not forget Elain too is guilty of the same sins as Nesta.
Yet the Nesta from the first book has grown, developed. She is a real person who feels fear, guilt, shame. The woman is terrified of taking a bath. She was willing to die with Cassian on the battlefield. Nesta is prideful and selfish, she is unapologetic and angry. Yet Feyre said herself that for those who Nesta loves she would tear the world apart for. Look at Amarantha. Look at Hybern. The Attor. Even Tamlin. The Mortal Queens. Those who are truly vile and evil. The villains in the narrative. I’m not saying Nesta doesn’t have her moments where she is horrible and cruel. But she is also so well developed. Such a beautiful and complex character.
To summarise my exhausted rambling, the fandom needs to stop giving shit to female characters when they worship males for the same traits and arcs. Sometimes characters aren’t wholly good or bad. They are good people who do bad things, make bad choices, have bad traits. But guess what? So do real people. Nesta is not evil. She is not a villain. And people need to have more appreciation for amazing and interesting characters.
This isn’t me personally attacking you or anything, however this isn’t why a large amount of people dislike Nesta.
It isn’t because of her rage, or her arrogance, or her stone-cold appearance—traits often found in Sarah’s male characters, as you said. It is because she was both verbally and emotionally abusive towards Feyre.
“My sisters had gone quiet, and I looked up in time to see Nesta crinkle her nose with a sniff. She picked at my cloak. “You stink like a pig covered in its own filth. Can’t you at least try to pretend that you’re not an ignorant peasant?”
I didn’t let the sting and ache show. I’d been too young to learn more than the basics of manners and reading and writing when our family had fallen into misfortune, and she’d never let me forget it.“
This isn’t a single incident. Feyre tells us this has been going on for years.
This isn’t a matter of characters being able to be good and bad at the same time. Tamlin wasn’t wholly bad, and yet his behavior is shunned by the entire fandom (as it rightfully should).
What if I switched the roles, put Tamlin’s name and altered the scenarios a bit?
*warning: this might not be 100% accurate since I haven’t read ACOTAR or ACOMAF and don’t recall much about Tamlin*
Yes, Tamlin locked Feyre up. He trapped his fiancée and he knows it, and apologized profusely. That it was either trap her, or go insane worry, and he couldn’t do that. He fed her and took care of her when she returned to the Spring Court. He told her, “be happy” before saving her mate. Tamlin was born and raised in money, wealth, and privilege. He was shaped by his parents who preferred parties/their reputation over children. The life Tamlin grew up in was different from Feyre’s. And that makes them all the more different.
Yet the Tamlin from the first/second book has grown, developed. He is a real person who experiences fear shame, and guilt. The man is terrified of leaving his own fiancee without protection. He was willing to die for Feyre in ACOWAR. I’m not saying Tamlin doesn’t have his moments where he is cruel/horrible. Such a beautiful and complex character.
Verbal abuse includes the following: judging, criticizing, name calling, threatening, accusing, blaming, undermining etc
Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased. Emotional abuse can take many forms. Three general patterns of abusive behavior include aggressing, denying, and minimizing.”
“Nesta stepped back to run a finger over the braided coils of her gold-brown hair. ”Take those disgusting clothes off.“
Effects of sibling abuse:
“If they (older siblings) are telling the younger ones that they are fat, ugly, stupid, or that no one really loves them, the younger child will believe it. In turn, this causes low self-esteem, and possibly leads the victim to end up in an abusive relationship later in life. There are many people who have been traumatized by what their older sibling told them, and have psychological scars.”
“Siblings can have strong, long-lasting effects on one another’s emotional development as adults. Research indicates that the long-term effects of surviving sibling abuse can include: Depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, inability to trust, relationship difficulties, alcohol and drug addiction, learned helplessness, etc.”
“The person targeted by verbal abuse over time may succumb to any stress-related illness. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish in its target. Despite that verbal abuse does not leave bruising, verbal abuse can be as detrimental to a person’s health as physical abuse.”
Nesta may not be as ‘evil’ as Maeve and the King of Hybern are/were, but that does not excuse her behavior.
“Is there a problem, Feyre?” She flung my name like an insult, and my jaw ached from clenching it so hard.”
“Nesta sneered at the pillar of foxglove I’d painted along the edge of the table—the colors too dark and too blue, with none of the white freckling inside the trumpets, but I’d made do, even if it had killed me not to have white paint, to make something so flawed and lasting.
I drowned the urge to cover up the painting with my hand. Maybe tomorrow I’d just scrape it off the table altogether.”
Sibling abuse is significantly more likely to occur in dysfunctional, neglectful and/or abusive homes, and often reflects a lack of appropriate boundaries and discipline on the part of the parents. In many cases, sibling abuse can occur as “second hand abuse” in which children who have been harmed or maltreated go on to harm siblings.
Risk Factors for sibling abuse:
-Parental unavailability and lack of adequate supervision of children in the home
-Attachment difficulties in which parents may be physically available but emotionally absent
-Ineffective parenting
-Low levels of parental acceptance and involvement linked to higher levels of sibling conflict
-Parental favoritism
-Sibling relations characterized by power imbalances, role rigidity, and unclear boundaries
“Nesta added with a small smile, “At least I don’t have to resort to rutting in the hay with Isaac Hale like an animal.”
My father let out an embarrassed cough, looking to his cot by the fire. He’d never said a word against Nesta, from either fear or guilt, and apparently he wasn’t going to start now, even if this was the first he was hearing of Isaac.”
“Love won’t feed a hungry belly,” I countered, keeping my gaze as sturdy as possible.
As if I’d struck her, Nesta leaped from her seat on the bench. “You’re just jealous. I heard them saying how Isaac is going to marry some Greenfield village girl for a handsome dowry.”
So had I; Isaac had ranted about it the last time we’d met. “Jealous?” I said slowly, digging down deep to bury my fury. “We have nothing to offer them—no dowry; no livestock, even. While Tomas might want to marry you … you’re a burden.”
“What do you know?” Nesta breathed. “You’re just a half-wild beast with the nerve to bark orders at all hours of the day and night. Keep it up, and someday—someday, Feyre, you’ll have no one left to remember you, or to care that you ever existed.” She stormed off, Elain darting after her, cooing her sympathy. They slammed the door to the bedroom hard enough to rattle the dishes.
I’d heard the words before—and knew she only repeated them because I’d flinched that first time she spat them. They still burned anyway.”
“Can you make a pot of hot water and add wood to the fire?” But even as I asked, I noticed the woodpile. There were only five logs left. “I thought you were going to chop wood today.”
Nesta picked at her long, neat nails. “I hate chopping wood. I always get splinters.” She glanced up from beneath her dark lashes. Of all of us, Nesta looked the most like our mother—especially when she wanted something. “Besides, Feyre,” she said with a pout, “you’re so much better at it! It takes you half the time it takes me. Your hands are suited for it—they’re already so rough.”
My jaw clenched. “Please,” I asked, calming my breathing, knowing an argument was the last thing I needed or wanted. “Please get up at dawn to chop that wood.” I unbuttoned the top of my tunic. “Or we’ll be eating a cold breakfast.”
Her brows narrowed. “I will do no such thing!”
If I offend/hurt anyone, I’m sorry. It’s not my intention.
This is my own shortened version of @dont-rattle-aelin‘s amazing post on this topic. I’ll link you to her blog and you can check through the sibling abuse tag to see the original post and other people’s experiences with reading Nesta (some who’ve experienced sibling abuse, too)
https://dont-rattle-aelin.tumblr.com/search/sibling%20abuse
Someone calling Nesta out on her abusive behavior? I’ve been summoned.
