It’s been quite the rollercoaster for any Rumbelle shippers... (I.e. a Rumbelle review of sorts)
*Internal monologue while rewatching Skin Deep* (***Spoilers through 6x14***)
“No Rumple! Don't worry she's alive!! She’s in the secret hospital mental facility underground dungeon place! Because that’s what normal hospitals have...& you're gonna be together! Then you break her trust...but over time you win it back! & you get married by the well! But she first gets shot by Hook & forgets you & throws/smashes your chipped cup & becomes the worst influence ever aka ‘Lacey’...
But then you save her & she remembers! Just in time to die...but the town is saved! But then you have to go to Neverland...to save Henry from your terrible father...
Who follows you back home & you both die. But then Bae & Belle resurrect you! & then Bae dies to save you. & Zelena (who is the reason Bae died) makes you her slave & tries to seduce you...and then you think you murder her, but not really. So she goes & f**** everything up...because, well, she’s now been “murdered” & had a really terrible life actually (& is brilliant & therefore you should run. Go, run now)
But eventually, YAY romantic wedding in the woods & ballroom dancing (smooth moves Rumple)!
But you almost immediately screw up again royally (DON’T TOUCH HOOK) & she orders you out of town & you become a cripple again, because there’s no magic. & you eat a lot of Ramen Noodles in NY while crashing with Ursula & her hundreds of fish.
& Belle has a thing with the Knave of Hearts (who thankfully treated her better than you did at the time) & you catfish her via email...& then you come back to Storybrooke with an evil drive-through-loving squad made up of Cruella & Ursula!
Because you're dying...like really hardcore dying (you can never be too sure with this show)...but then you magically live & kinda get back together! But then you manipulatively & secretly become the Dark One again & go to Hell without Belle knowing what you did.
& then you find out she's pregnant! But you accidentally sold your child to Hades so it’s terrifying. Then she briefly gets trapped in Pandora’s box because you want to protect her & she doesn't trust or forgive you (& neither does your unborn son...). Oh & then you have a thing with the Evil Queen, who isn't 'Regina' but, I mean...
& Belle has a healthy baby boy! But then because you’re going full on Dark One, she sends him away before you see him. & he immediately gets kidnapped...by the evil Black Fairy who beats & abuses him trying to turn him to the Dark Side.
...oh she’s also your mother who used to steal children but abandoned you. Damn, you really have the worst parents.
But your son lives & comes back! As a 28 yr. old man hell bent on revenge...who wants to kill Emma so he can become the savior reverse-dark-one style to save the Dark Realm from the Black Fairy (who’s, again, your mother). But you try to keep him from letting the darkness in & he doesn't kill her (yet) so you & Belle bond a little through your pain!
But now he's separated Emma & Hook & sent him & Aladdin & Jasmine God knows where so he can do something to the town & Emma...
You know, I don't know what to tell you, man. Enjoy these small moments with Belle back in the early seasons.”
