katniss feeling guilty for "withholding" kisses from gale I feel is very telling about their entire relationship
everything between them is transactional, it was like that from the start, with their hunting and taking care of each other's families. pre- 74th games katniss didn't think anything romantic about gale, and I'm pretty sure she didn't really feel strong (romantic) feelings for him at all even through mockingjay. even while making out with the man her brain is a mile away. but, I think, subconsciously, she's aware that gale likes her in that way. so she sees showing him romantic affection as a way of repaying him (for what? I mean, taking care of her family, but also lots of her guilt revolves around even remotely caring about peeta at least in my opinion)
so gale was right, katniss only shows him romantic affection when he's in pain, because she does care about him, but she's also distantly aware that kissing him or returning his advances even temporarily is what he wants and is what would make him feel better
gale is also immaturely entitled to katniss and feels threatened by her having any sort of relationship with a man not even necessarily close to her age.
he clearly feels some sort of ownership over her, as can be seen with his aggression towards peeta, finnick, and it's implied he wasn't very friendly towards darius. jealousy can be understood, he is/was a teenage boy after all, but voicing those jealousies and by extension putting pressure on katniss to return his feelings because he did so much for her is the harmful part
in a previous post I pointed out how peeta defended gale after he was whipped without any romance-related comments to katniss at all, regardless of if he felt them or felt jealous (which it's implied he does feel at least sad after katniss wakes up from sleeping beside gale) he didn't voice those thoughts and therefore didn't push any guilt onto katniss for not paying enough attention to him, which is the biggest difference between him and gale.
whether it be consciously or subconsciously, I think gale was pushing guilt onto katniss for her not returning his affections, tying back into that entitlement thing. his hostility towards finnick, and saying he's "back on track" after getting Annie back, which means he probably just wasn't spending as much time with katniss anymore, is a wild thing to say about a man 7 years older than she is, and who was her anchor in the weeks/months before getting peeta back
gale apparently just has an entirely different set of priorities from everyone else, and katniss is at least on some level aware that he wants her affections. she feels guilty for not giving him what she and he think is "owed", and that forms the basis of their relationship post-74th games.
I personally think this type of dynamic would've culminated anyway, since katniss was appalled and apparently had never even considered romance with gale, but he was already thinking about it. it's just a disconnect that I think would have festered with or without the games or peeta.
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