new netflix show concept idea: two girls, both incredibly ambitious and perfectionist, falling in love and learning how to appreciate life and overcome their fear of commitment. train stations at night, neon signs in dark alleys, gazebos on a rainy summer day, driving on highways, marble statues and ancient architecture. appreciating the other and their quirks and showing them that they are so much more than they think. the wlw power couple everyone needs.
butch lesbians aren’t a “stereotype” – we’re real people who exist. we’re not caricatures and the concept of us isn’t offensive. we’re allowed to look like this and live like this
from what i’ve seen wlw tumblr is like a group of girls at a sleepover talking about how pretty girls are and how much they want girlfriends meanwhile over here in mlm tumblr it’s like a national geographic special about twinks competing for mates
are you a ‘wears flannel buttoned up, like normal’ wlw, a ‘wears flannel unbuttoned with a tank top or t shirt underneath’ wlw, or a ‘ties flannel around waist just for that Aesthetic™ tho’ wlw?
it always makes my heart hurt seeing women struggle and agonize over whether they’re attracted to men or not. let me present you with the alternative: it isn’t important. what’s important is what makes you feel good and fulfilled. maybe that isn’t same gender attraction yet (because gods know internalized homophobia is a monster and a half) but if your struggle with being attracted to men or not is upsetting or harming you– here’s permission to let it go. it doesn’t have to matter. you are free. let it fall away from you like rain off a roof. nurture what nurtures you.
when you say things like “trans inclusive” dont then turn around and only include descriptions of cis women in your sapphic poetry or only post art that only has cis men
if you’re cis and want to be “trans inclusive” make damn sure you’re actually trying to correct any transphobia that you have and correct any internal ideas that cis men/women are the only ones that belong in mlm/wlw spaces
also, normalize wlw/mlm relationships that don’t have any cis people in them. we dont need to date cis people to be considered “actual” wlw/mlm
it’s also okay for trans people to avoid dating cis people all together (whether for safety reasons or because of past traumas)
just. yah idk make sure that you actually mean it when you say that you’re trans inclusive and actively try to work on not being transphobic
So this might be a bit of a difficult question, but, how do you know if you're ace, or you're just dealing with internalized homophobia, or perhaps just anxiety bc of having not been with a woman before?
Hi there! Sorry for taking so long to answer. Your question is quite long, so I’m going to split my answer into parts, but first, I’m going to give a more concise response, then delving into specifics.
Short answer:
It varies from person to person. Everyone has different experiences with coming to terms with their identity, and everyone will struggle with something different on their path.
Here is a good post that describes emphasizes on the how and why of being ace and how internalized homophobia and heteronormativity plays a part.
Long answer:
being ace vs internalized homophobia vs anxiety with not having been with someone of the same gender
Being ace?
Disclaimer, I’m not ace, so keep in mind that I’m not as informed about these things as someone who identifies as ace would be. However, I do want to help as much as possible, so here and here are some links to a few good posts from ace-centric blogs that cover how to know if you’re ace (these don’t tie in with internalized homophobia or anything, fyi, they just cover figuring out if you’re ace or not).
Internalized homophobia?
I understand that you’re question is specifically asking about being ace vs internalized homophobia, but since I’m not ace I’m going to answer this question in a broader spectrum. Firstly, what is internalized homophobia?
“Internalized homophobia is defined as the involuntary belief by lesbians and gay men that the homophobic lies, stereotypes and myths about them (that are delivered to everyone in a heterosexist / homophobic society) ARE TRUE.“
So, how does this relate to the question? Well, internalized homophobia often ties in with heteronormativity, and that in turn can sometimes confuse people. A lot, if not all members of the wlw community have struggled with one or both of those things, and figuring it out and overcoming it can sometimes be quite difficult.
The advice that I can give you on this is to just think and sort out your thoughts. Internalized homophobia can be troublesome to dig through and completely understand, but I just want to tell you that wlw are completely real and valid and wlw relationships are no less important and loving than straight ones.
Here is a good post I saw about wlw and internalized homophobia, highlighting the issues in popular media, and the damaging effect it can have on the wlw community.
Anxiety of having not been with a woman before?
This, I can imagine has plagued many a questioning human. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer. In my experience, the anxiety of choosing a label also tied in with a lot of internalized homophobia, and to be honest, I’m still struggling, even though I am in a healthy and loving relationship with a girl. What I will say is this: you are valid if you identify as a wlw and have never been with a woman. If you feel as if you can love someone of the same gender, you are allowed to use wlw labels! If you later decide that that’s not your cup of tea, that’s fine! Sexuality is fluid, something that many people often forget.
Conclusion
It’s alright to feel confused and not know what you are or where your feelings fit. You’re not alone in how you feel! I hope these answers helped and best of luck to you, dear.
titsay
germansingergirl
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
dededos
