Deer

I write. Check out my AO3: cloudsandsmokes https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsandsmokes

[cloudofsmokes]

Do you think Ilya and Shane watched Call Me By Your Name?

I like to think that they did it together and watched the scene where they say the "call me by your name and I'll call you by mine" line and the "Elio, Elio, Elio" line. Shane must have had a huge lightbulb burst in his head at that moment.

At night, when they were doing the deed, Shane would repeat the exact same line and Ilya would get more excited. He would whisper, "Ilya, Ilya, Ilya" sweetly to Shane while he trailed kisses down his body.

As they lay there entangled, exhausted, Ilya would say, "I thought I would lose you. To Rose Landry. Like Elio lost Oliver."

"You didn't. I guess we are the happy ending that they wish they had." Shane would say, laying a gentle kiss on Ilya's forehead.

"We are lucky, I guess." Ilya would smile, turning to face Shane and placing a kiss on the neck.

"The luckiest." Shane would snuggle into Ilya's embrace.

Or something like that. This definitely happens after they're married and in the cottage. It's a movie Shane saw on a list of summer movies.

[cloudofsmokes]

Does anybody else fear that Rachel Reid is going to give Shane or Ilya a career-ending injury, especially one from being hit too hard by one of the homophobic hockey players from rival teams, in Unrivaled or is it just me?

She has mentioned that the book is going to be placed immediately after their coming out and dealing with the public reactions. So, it cannot be completely ruled out that it won't happen.

I can imagine either one of them going down on the ice, with a spinal injury or a knee injury that's going to make them take an involuntary retirement, while the other takes the team and the player who did it to court. Thoughts and prayers to my boys, anways.

[cloudofsmokes]

This has been troubling me for a few days and I need answers. So, here it is:

Ilya saves Shane's name as Jane, right? But Shane can't read it on his phone because the language settings on Ilya's phone is in Russian. (Hence, Shane asks, "what's my name gonna be?")

So in Russian, there is no 'J', right? So, when Ilya saved Shane's contact as "Jane", did he actually type it as 'Джейн' (Dzheyn) or just simply as Shane (Шейн)? Because the only person who snoops into Ilya's phone is Cliff, and Cliff knows there's a 'girl', but he obviously can't read the name, referring it as 'Montreal girl'.

And Svetlana might have seen it as well, might have asked why there is a "Shane" on his phone and he might have explained his way around it being actually Jane.

[cloudofsmokes]

Here's a fun thought to process:

During the summer in 2014, Shane decides to listen to a new artist he'd been hearing on radio while he was driving to practices and games. The chorus sounded amazing and tickled his brain just right. He searched up the song on YouTube, despite his suspicions about it being a church hymn. The first few notes of "Take Me to Church" by Hozier starts playing, and the black and white video starts rolling, a sudden panic settles into his chest as he watches the young couple hide their relationship in crevices of society that hate couldn't seep in. He watches it and thinks about Ilya, about how unsafe Ilya is, in country that hates him for being his true self. And Shane cries. He almost forwards the video to the contact that lies on top of every other, but he doesn't. He finally realises the threat on Ilya, in his own language.

During the next time they meet, Shane looks closely at the smile on Ilya's face and thinks about the video. After they go through the motions of a rushed hookup, Shane gently weeps in the bathroom as he cleans up. After Ilya leaves, Shane panics, hugs the pillow that Ilya lied on and plays the song faintly in the background.

[cloudofsmokes]

RAISE FROM PERDITION

*****************************************************

My fic is finally complete! Check it out here.

Final chapter is completed! Woohoo! What a journey it had been as ai struggled to finish this work, balancing it between work and life!

To new readers,

Are you unhappy with the ending of Supernatural? Do you wish to find an alternate ending, where you wish to see Dean go through the grief (something that the wrtiers left out)? Would you like to see a few more family moments?

Head down to AO3 in the link above, find my fic and read to your heart's content. Or don't. AO3 is a free country.

To my current readers,

Do you have suggestions for fics like this in the future? If you do, comment here or on AO3. Don't forget to leave kudos and comments!

[cloudofsmokes]

Another chapter added to my Destiel fic: Raise From Perdition, titled Ramble On. Check it out here.

It took me so long to write this chapter. Partially because I forgot I am an ao3 author for a while. And later on, I was deluded enough to think that I had finished writing the fic. And I opened this fic a few days ago, and lo and behold, there lies the unfinished business. So, I guess I rushed a little bit. Forgive my tardiness!

Leave comments and kudos if you liked it. And, might I add, a big hug and I love you to everybody who's reading it! 🧡

[cloudofsmokes]

Either I'm extremely delusional or are Ilya and Shane very Destiel coded? Let me point out:

Ilya: bisexual, emotionally repressed, depressed, ladies' man. Sounds like someone from a early 2000s show with 10+ seasons? Does Dean Winchester ring a bell?

Additionally, Ilya watched his mother die and has a very strained relationship with his father. Ilya makes food for the people he loves, and that's his love language, is that not Dean-coded enough? Need I say more?

Shane: gay, autistic, pure-hearted soul. Sounds like from the same show, doesn't it? An autistic gay angel, who goes by name Castiel? Who looks awkward and has trouble with social cues? No?

There is Destiel everywhere for people with eyes to see.

Ok, I rest my case here, then.

[cloudofsmokes]

Took me so long to update the latest chapter to my fic titled Raise from Perdition:

Latest chapter is called Every Cloud and you can find it here.

Be sure to check out the full fic here: Raise From Perdition.

Leave comments and kudos if you like it, it would mean the world to me!

[cloudofsmokes]

New Year on a Thursday?! As in, Angel of the Lord, Castiel's Thursday? The bearer of a grim face of emotional constipation Castiel's Thursday? Angel of Thursdays Castiel's Thursday??

This is gonna be his year! Amen!

[cloudofsmokes]

New chapter has been added to the fanfic that I'm writing called Raise From Perdition. It's a post-S15E18 fix-it fic. If you wanna see Dean deal with grief of Cas' death (which the writers brushed over), go ahead give it a go! Leave comments and kudos, it would mean the world to me!

Chapter's called Healing is Misery :

One last attempt. That was what Dean promised. Over the course of time, Dean learns how to be a person again, he has to. Past traumas haunt him at every corner, but he has to heal. Sometimes, healing takes more effort than staying in those destructive habits.

Go ahead to my AO3 to read the full fic.

[cloudofsmokes]

Sam Winchester might as well be a woman. He was tortured, endured mental and physical abuse, underwent sexual abuse, and in the end, his traumas were neglected and unexplored (as much as Dean's). Among all that, he still had hope till the end, he held on to hope that everything would get better. Above all that he went through, he was the emotional support for everybody, he was the one that was ready to communicate, the one to try and bring logical solutions. He was carrying the emotional weight in most of the episodes for everybody.

Sam Winchester watched his father and brother go through the same cycles of destructive habits, and decided to break the generational trauma. He tried. He tried to be the beacon of hope and the voice of reason. And trying is all that matters.

[cloudofsmokes]

Everybody remembers how Cas saved Dean from Hell, but I hope nobody forgets the fact that Dean was torturing souls there, he had already, although regretfully, taken up the task of being the torturer in Hell before he was rescued. So, when Cas went to Hell to save Dean, Dean wasn't getting tortured, Cas saw that. He might have questioned Heaven's intentions then too, why would Heaven want him, a righteous angel, to save a corrupted soul. But he did it anyway, his last act as the soldier of Heaven. Once he saw the human Dean was, Cas realised that maybe not everything is black and white, everything around him were shades of colors that Heaven refused to let him see. It wasn't just good or bad, it was all the emotions you could feel and choosing the one, in that moment, felt righteous.

Heaven gave him his first taste of Free Will, to choose to save a man down in Hell. And he has been running away with it ever since. And in the process, he fell in love with the human who let him see what freedom or the illusion of it felt like. And above all, he saw that Humanity wasn't just apes robed in stupid choices, but a multitude of possibilities for the universe to manifest itself in. And that's what he meant when he said "You changed me, Dean." He saw the whole world through the chronicles of Dean Winchester's eyes, he felt the touch of humanity through him. That's where his happiness lied.

[cloudofsmokes]

I'm planning on starting a new Supernatural fic, preferably an AU (with Destiel, of course). Possibly next month, I'll start working on it.

Any requests, any particular tropes, any suggestions, that you want me to work into the fic?

My AO3 :

https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsandsmokes/profile

In the mean time, checkout my work as well:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73050371

[joeyclaire]

While the world hears less and less news from Gaza because so many journalists were killed, Aboud (@saveaboudfamily) was one of the few people still trying to share the truth, even while he was starving, injured, and fighting for his life.

Today, Aboud is in the hospital after collapsing from severe anemia. His health is critical. And while he lies in a hospital bed, his family has no shelter. Their tent collapsed in the storm last night, and they are now outside under the rain.

No cameras. No journalists left. No protection.

Just a young man trying to survive, and a family trying not to freeze.

Please, help Aboud and his family. A small donation could save his life and give his siblings a place to sleep tonight.

Speak about him. Share his story. Don't let another Palestinian disappear in silence.

chuffed - paypal - verified

[cloudofsmokes]

Right after Empty takes Cas away, Dean faces a moment of regret. The 5 stages of grief sink their teeth into Dean one by one. Regrets flood his brain. All Sam and Jack could do was to walk around on eggshells around him, witness him falling apart.

Lost love, lost friend, lost father. Grief ties hands with desperation.

Enjoy. Endure.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73050371

[cloudofsmokes]

Hey, I'm a new fanfic author on AO3. I have posted 3 chapters of my first Supernatural fic on my AO3 of the same name, cloudsandsmokes. It's a fix-it fic and it starts immediately after S15E18.

Do checkout and leave your suggestions and responses in the comments. You can checkout the work here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/73050371