hiiiii!!! i’m Clover!!! this is my first post on my new bloooog!!!
i’m an autistic adult (19), buuuut i’m still a kid (6-8) at heart :P i use it/its and she/her pronouns!
i loooove my fictional husband Conductor!!! i’m alsoooo an age dreamer and Conducty is also my carer!!!
gonna post all kinds of things here!!! mostly art but that won’t be all :P this is my happy space, this will just be whateverrrrr makes me feel super happy! the art below is my sona! looks kinda like me irl but not exactly… but someday i really wanna look like this for real life!!! :D
and i love preschool cartoons! and hopper balls! and sippy cups! and hair clips and kandi and buttons and striped shirts and bubbles and kites and sewing and Easter and fruits and veggies and flowers and springtime and summertime and plushies and divided plates and deco pacis and sustainability and recycling and coloring books and pools and water toys and playgrounds and low quality cameras and educational game systems and ….. SOSOSOSO MUCH MORE!!!
thanks for reading yayayaya! have a super duper happy day !
“It’ll be alright, bug. Just watch it from a distance.”
here’s a drawing i’ve been wanting to make for a long time! like, ever since i first watched Digital Circus last month!
i brought up to my therapist early this month that i have a huge fear of bees and wasps and the like, and it’s caused a lot of issues for me for many years… he had a discussion with me and mentioned exposure therapy, which i expected, but he actually suggested first that i should draw myself acting positive/neutral around bees. Crinkle is my self-insert, representing me, and Caine loves bees and Kinger likes bugs in general, so tada! this was very fun to draw, i actually made it to use as my Discord profile banner whenever i get Nitro again!
and i feel like i’m actually starting to be a little bit less scared now because of these two? like i see a bee outside my house, and i think, “Caine loves bees so i should too”… i’ve surprised myself with this ! positive thoughts in my brain for once yippee ! autism does a good thing for me again !
also also also!!! i doodled all 3 of us hugging! AND my talking Caine plush arrived in the mail the other day!!! he looks so funny and i love him!!! he says a lot of silly things! my parents don’t like him though and i’m a bit sad about that :( they think he’s weird and that the show is weird… they don’t have to like it, of course, but it makes me feel bad :( at least my cousin loves it as much as i do and we can talk to each other about it!!! we both watched episode 9 (and cried about it) together! hehehe
final note, there may or may not have been a teeny little bit of a lie in my previous post that featured art of these 3… hehe /pos
Hey! I'm someone who - while doesn't publicly interact with or make stuff specifically for the tickle community - I'm happy that you got the confidence to show some of your art about it, I thought it was really sweet!
And yeah, even as a lurker, the sfw tickle community isn't perfect. I would know because I got on the wrong side of it in my teens, and I'm still recovering from it. (I like to think it's half the reason I specifically hyperfixate on these two Goobers.) But, I like to think it's gotten better. <:)
If I may, I'd like to tag some of my favourite artists from the sfw tickle community. Two of whom I actually know. Maybe to help connect you with some cool and safe people from this space! ^^
Heck, I'm myself in the agere community too - again as a lurker - and even just stumbling upon this blog was really nice and wholesome. I hope you have an awesome day. 🧡🪶🏴☠️💖
hello! thanks for the message! i really really appreciate the kind words and the recommendations for blogs to look at, i did in fact look through them and they gave me a lot of inspiration and made me feel SOOOOO much better about my post! it genuinely warms my heart to see art like that with clearly safe intentions behind them and people being so positive about it after years of convincing myself i couldn’t share my love for tickling without it immediately being labeled as something it isn’t, or thinking that i’ll make people uncomfortable with it. i’ll definitely be making and sharing more tickle art here in the future! i really needed to see this message, and i thank you so much for it. i hope you have a SUPER happy day! 🫶
okay so i also don’t like how this turned out but i’m gonna share it anyway because i spent so much time.. i do not know how to draw tickling, and i never have, but i try !
i did mention here before that i like tickling in a sfw way! normally when i think of tickling, i think of Conductor from A Hat in Time (my fictional husband), but Conductor is not the only character i imagined tickling with, and i haven’t been this hyperfixated on another piece of media in a long time, especially not to the point where i create a self-insert like Crinkle solely to interact with specific characters. so uh, yeah… here’s Caine being completely clueless about tickling and then learning about it…
there’s only 3 pages for now and it seems to cut off at a time where there would be more because i like, imagined a whole “episode” based on this premise, where Caine is misinformed and thinks tickling makes people happy and that everybody likes it, but Crinkle forgot to mention a critical detail that only some people like being tickled and most people don’t, so Caine gets really upset that Crinkle didn’t tell him that and everybody’s annoyed with him again... i called this idea “They All Get Tickled”… yeah… like… a parody of episode 6’s title… very unoriginal, i know… i most likely won’t do more pages for this specifically, but i do enjoy making comic-style pages for random stuff like this, so there will be more with different stories!
unrelated to TADC, i wanted to say that don’t know much about the sfw tickling community, as i’ve never interacted with it or even knew it existed until recently. i used to post a lot of tickle art to other platforms when i was a preteen and people acted really weird towards me about it, so i just… hid that part of me and felt really ashamed of it. but now i’ve found out there’s a whole community of people who seem to like tickling the same way i do (i see it in the same way a child would see it, or like how it’s portrayed in cartoons like Bluey. just something innocent and funny), and it’s really confusing to me… but i’d like to learn more about it and learn to be more accepting of myself as well !
but uh , yeah! this is just another thing that makes me happy and i’m really tired of feeling like i have to hide it or else everybody will be really weird and mean… :(
this didn’t turn out how i wanted it to but i’ll still post it because i promised i’d share more art of Crinkle with its brother and dad!!!
Kinger is watching us and making sure all our stuff is safe :3 we have sippy cups with water in them! i think Caine would like the ones with handles! i actually have a little collection of sippies and i use them sometimes but they’re mainly for display in my room, just like my pacis :P
also i’m gonna start drawing Kinger with glasses just because i feel like he needs them! which is kinda funny because i wear glasses in real life and my sona wears them but i decided not to have Crinkle wear them…
ummm anyone have some suggestions for art with these 3? i wanna draw more but i don’t have very many ideas, would be greatly appreciated!!!
also i forgot to say that i did actually manage to order that plush i was talking about in the first TADC related post i made… but it’s gonna be like, 2 weeks before it gets here… and i’m very impatient! !!
not sure how to feel about the Caine one since i didn’t have a whole lot of a plan and just started placing gems, but i really like the Kinger one even though i made a loooot of mistakes and there’s bits of glue and a whole bunch of scratches if you look closely…
i’m unfortunately a very messy artist … there’s stuff ALLLLLL over my floor, not just from this, but from my kandi bracelets as well… everything just slips out of my hands and finds its way to the floor…
whatever respect i had for deco paci businesses (which was a lot) has just multiplied by a billion because this is actually so much work and time and money !!!! oh my word… i need a very long break and lots of water… it’s so hot here in southern USA!!!
and i finally got to make the centers for them too! i printed the pictures out and used a badge maker i bought a couple months ago! i’m so happy! look at them alllll!!! and i have more pacis on the way too because more colors yay!
do you recognize all the characters? there’s also a random little picture of a baby toy i saw on the Walmart website i think? i was using it as inspiration for my TADC self-insert named Crinkle! i specifically took the shape of the clip from it hehe !
hi all! i accidentally disappeared again, but i am now back!
i haven’t been drawing very much lately and nothing happened that i wanted to share…. UNTIL NOW! i have very recently become a fan of The Amazing Digital Circus! as in, i never watched it until last month…. i’ve been wanting to watch it since the pilot got big numbers on YouTube but was worried all this time considering it’s meant for adults, but it’s actually very silly and fun but also scary and sad but not in a way that i can’t handle! so i’ve developed a hyperfixation hehe! i’ve mostly just been doing doodles but just a little while ago i made this ADORABLE Caine art !!!!! he and Kinger are my two favorite characters :3
here’s some other doodles i’ve done ! and i made a self-insert oc because why not? have other people done that?…… idk but it’s inspired by the hanging baby toys with a bunch of stuff attached to them, and it’s named Crinkle because some of those toys make crinkle sounds !
Jax is talking in the last one by the way with everybody together
random note… i almost bought a Caine plush today but it went out of stock before i could get it :( i was so excited to see it available so i’m very upset i missed my chance to get it, but the art i made helped me feel better! i want to draw more ! !!! so many ideas yayayayay
i went to the store on my own for the first time! big accomplishment for me being an autistic adult, having major social anxiety, and being sheltered most of my life with parents who are very hesitant to let me do things like this due to my disabilities… i had a minor issue figuring out how to use the self-checkout but i paid for everything and got a receipt ! yay!
i found a Socks plushie!!! i got one on eBay years ago but i sent it to my online bestie as part of a birthday gift box a few months ago, since she’s their favorite character! then i got a Bingo lovey because i’ve been seeing it online and really wanted it and now i have it! i wanted to get Bluey too since she was there, but these are kinda expensive …. they’re made from 100% recycled material :O then i also got a coloring book and a thermos, both being Bluey themed as well! 4 things isn’t much but i think i did good for my first time! i wanted to go look at the baby food aisles since i love a lot of toddler snacks (especially fruit puree pouches!), but there were a looooot of people there and i got very scared :( maybe next time when there’s less people? i’m very proud of myself even though it was very very scary!
and i randomly put Bingo on top of Conducty’s head and i imagined little me doing that and him just staring with a neutral face hehehe! big loud angry man can’t help but feel soft and warm inside when his wife is in kid mode hehe :3
Do you like going outdoors or just the aesthetic of it?
hello again! i’ve been really distracted and haven’t gotten around to posting here. i do think i love the “aesthetic of going outside” more than actually being outside, unfortunately. but that’s because i get really bored outside, and i have a very intense fear of bugs, especially bees and wasps :( if i didn’t have that fear, and i had more stuff to do, i probably would go outside a lot more often. i loved playing with dirt and mud and picking up all different kinds of leaves and flowers when i was little, and i think i would still enjoy that now! especially making mud castles, i’ve been longing to do that again… maybe someday!
hi there! i love egg rolls and spring rolls, a lot of different kinds of pizza and pasta… ooh, and i love almost anything with mushrooms in it! for sweet stuff, i love ice cream and fruit/veggie smoothies! right now, i’m eating some shell pasta with cheddar cheese :D
i was looking at the fandom agere tag, and i thought it was so cool seeing people make agere art of such a huge variety of fictional characters of all different ages and backgrounds !!! i was thinking to myself, “i wish i could do something like that with the fandoms i’m in, but i don’t know who…” then i remembered Mustache Girl and Cooking Cat!
i’ve thought for a long while that Mu was treated very poorly by all the other characters. anger is justified for what she did, but she’s still a child and she’s clearly not okay after what the Mafia did to her and her home. so i thought about her as maybe being an involuntary age regressor, she regresses to a baby/toddler and cries for her parents that aren’t there for her anymore :( Cooking Cat is one of very few characters in the game who actually doesn’t try to take advantage of Hat Kid for the timepieces and seems to genuinely want to help, so i feel like she’d be concerned for Mu too and want to be her caregiver.
Mu obviously doesn’t trust anybody after Hat Kid “betrayed” her, but she’s afraid of being alone and desperately needs help, but is too embarrassed to admit it. she wants to seem independent and capable of doing everything on her own. CC helps her remember she is in fact still a kid (my headcanon is she’s around 10-13) and wants her to have a real childhood.
it’s a very sad idea but a very wholesome one too… i definitely see CC as very supportive of age regression and looking for any way she can to help regressed Mu, even if it means giving her things she’d be “too old” for normally or teaching her things like personal hygiene and other stuff she never got the chance to learn! it takes Mu a loooong time to get used to being treated like this, and it makes her very emotional, but eventually she learns to accept it and her regression starts to be more of a positive, healing experience for her rather than just one to let very big emotions out (though she definitely still needs to do that every once in a while)!
Mu looks so so cute with strawberry pyjamas and a paci hehe ! and i gave CC a cardigan with goldfish on it so she’s not in her chef clothes all the time! i want to draw moreeeee but i need to go to sleep… have a super happy day, everyone! byebye!
a lot has been happening and i haven’t felt like posting… we’ve been trying to figure out why my tummy’s been hurting so much, i’m a bit scared about it :( but this is my happy place, so i’m going to share happy art!
i remembered that selfships/yumeships don’t have to exclusively be romantic relationships, and i’ve seen Isabelle as like a fictional best friend for a while now, so i guess that can be a yumeship too! i’m not non-sharing with her like i am with Conductor, so i’d be fine with seeing other people who are friends with Isabelle! still very very uncomfortable with Conductor shippers, romantic or platonic :( /info
alsoooo i think i see her as an age dreamer!!! we’re age dreamer besties!! we both use pacis and sippies and color in our books together and make each other friendship bracelets and sosososo much more !!! so i drew us hugging with our pacis and matching bracelets! and also a WIP for Bunny Day where we’re hunting for eggs that Conducty hid for us! the proportions aren’t great but i can’t fix it now, so it’s okays! OH and i made a kandi cuff of Isabelle!!! i used my own pattern i designed (with a template from kandipatterns.com) and it’s below if you want to make it yourself hehe :3
mayyybeeee tag me if you do make it? i wanna seeeee!!! i love making kandi and i wanna learn how to do more! yayaya
look at how floofy he is!!! i love him so so so much!!! if i feel better later i want to draw more tickletrain (my yumeship) stuff!!! :3 maybe in my sketchbook instead of ipad this time ?
i also have headcanon for other AHiT agere things! because i was looking at fandom agere tag and i love so much seeing other people make silly agere stuff for their fandoms! i wanna do that too, but i don’t have very many ideas :( until i remember two specific characters…. hehehe i was drawing all day yesterday because my tummy wasn’t hurting! one character is regressor and one is caregiver! i know someone’s done a similar story before buuuut it wasn’t agere i don’t think… let me know if you want to seeeeeee what i draw! it’s a bit sad :( but so so wholesome :D
“who’s Conductor?” is a question i used to get alllllllll the time on my old social media accounts. he’s a character from an indie video game called A Hat in Time, and he’s been my fictional husband for over 8 years!!! i saw him for the first time ever on Dec 6, 2017, and i’ve taken our relationship super duper seriously since then.
i’m a non-sharing yumeshipper, meaning i’m very uncomfortable with seeing other people who have him as their f/o. this is because of jealousy and perceived “cheating”, though i am fully aware he isn’t real and he isn’t actually my husband… please be respectful about this. i used to be very unhealthy about it as a minor, but i’ve gotten a lot better about it as i got older and more mature, and i’m still improving every day! the block button and custom content filtering are such important tools for online communities >:3
i’ll be honest, the Conductor i draw is pretty different from canon. he’s not completely different, but there’s some very noticeable differences in his physical appearance as well as personality. this post is specifically about my own version of him, since that’s the one depicted in all of my art!
About Conductor
Conductor is a very well-known filmmaker from Scotland! he owns his very own studio called Dead Bird Studio and he’s the director, writer, and main actor for all of his movies! he’s also a train conductor, obviously xD! his train is called the Owl Express because his father was an owl, and the train has been passed down multiple generations in his father’s family! and yeah, Conductor is his legal first name! he wasn’t born with it, but he had it changed as he gained popularity in the film industry and started being known by that! his last name is Astley because of Rick Astley and a silly joke where i drew him singing Never Gonna Give You Up a lot because funny :3
About the Yumeship
in our fictional universe, i met Conductor in 2028 on a trip to Scotland. he reluctantly hired me at the studio for storyboarding, hoping to take advantage of me being a fan to help out the studio, since it was in a lot of debt and at risk of bankruptcy. he was also struggling a lot with his mental health and didn’t open up to many people, but found that i was a very safe person to talk to as we were dealing with similar things, though we had very different coping strategies. the safe feeling gradually turned into friendship, then romantic feelings, and then he ended up proposing to me at the 2029 Annual Bird Movie Awards! we got married on Dec 6, 2029! (i hope to have a real life wedding ceremony with him on this day!)
he was slowly introduced to the concept of age regression/dreaming over time as i worked at the studio, and at first he was a bit weirded out by it and would make some judgmental comments about my childish interests, but as he fell in love with me, he became more accepting and now he’s very supportive and understands how important it is for me!
i have two different sonas representing me in the yumeship! of course there’s the adult one, who is at least 23 years old. then there’s my agedre sona, representing me when i’m small! i’m still an adult physically during moments involving this sona, it’s simply just a visual representation of how much younger i feel. Conductor is not romantic towards me at all during that time !!! he always asks if i’m feeling small and changes his behavior accordingly!!!
our ship is called cloverductor, or alternatively, tickletrain! the alternative name is just something i thought of that sounded a bit cooler than just smushing our names together, and fully reflected our relationship. tickling is a very big thing for us and has been for many years. i’ve been very embarrassed to talk about it because of some people on the internet thinking it was a very weird thing when i used to post about it a lot as a minor :( but really, it’s just a silly, childish thing that makes me happy, just like hopper balls, bubbles, sippy cups, etc! i hope this can be a place where i feel safe to show my silly tickle art without fear of judgement or people making it out to be something it’s not!
Stuff Conductor Does (very random list)
he mainly acts like a father to me when i want to be in my silly kid space, but sometimes he’s more like a grandpa. i usually call him “Conducty”, but sometimes “grandpa” as well (he’s not sure how to feel about that, though he loves “Conducty”).
he loves playing pretend if the games are related to his work, like pushing me around in his office chair and pretending it’s a train, but he doesn’t understand much how to play with me when it’s not, but tries to participate anyway.
he always gives me gentle but firm reminders to do stuff and take care of myself because he knows i struggle with being told what to do but i still know how important those things are, and he helps me when it’s super overwhelming. like if i don’t want to take a shower/bath, he’ll help me pick out clean clothes to wear and he’ll get the water ready.
he always makes sure i have a paci or sippy cup clean so i can use them! even on the train and in the studio, he has some in case we forget at home! same with coloring books and crayons, we have those everywhere!
he REFUSES to let me use knives EVER, because he doesn’t want me to get hurt! he’ll let me use scissors, though, because i need those for my art projects when i’m big, and he knows i’m very careful with those.
he calls me his “lucky clover”, “darlin’ lil’ lass(ie)”, “wee one”, and so many other cute names!
he loves to tickle me and he likes when i try to tickle him back, though he’s only ticklish in a few places while i’m ticklish nearly everywhere! sometimes he also tickles me when he doesn’t even mean to, since he’s covered in fluffy feathers and just can’t help it!
he lets me sit in his lap while he’s writing his movie scripts, even though it gets a bit distracting, because he just wants to nuzzle me with his beak all the time (which tickles me!)
since he’s half fire spirit (fox-like species in A Hat in Time), he glows in the dark, so he’s like a nightlight for me when i accidentally wake up in the middle of the night (i get very anxious when it’s too dark and i can’t see well).
his hands and feathers are very soft and warm. when i’m sad or sick, he’ll cuddle with me. if i’m in pain, he’ll rub where i hurt. if i can’t/don’t want to sleep… that’s basically impossible because he’s very comforting and helps me sleep :3
he sticks his tongue out as a silly, smug face when he wins a game or tricks me into letting him tickle me.
he lets me wear his hat if he’s not working on the train, and he thinks i look absolutely adorable with it.
he talks in third-person a lot when i’m in kid space. “Does Conducty’s little lass want some more water in ‘er sippy?” “Conducty’s gotta talk to his mum fer a moment, alright?”
uhhh this is all i can think of for now blehhh :P this is a very very long and self-indulgent post but if you made it to the end (or didn’t), i hope you have a super happy day!
i drew Judo, Bluey, Bingo, and Mackenzie with slightly altered colors/markings and some clothes! they’re also meant to be a few years older than they are in the show! this is all done for fun and not meant to be taken super seriously :D
Judo’s fur changes are very very minor, i mostly drew her to show the clothing. Bluey and Bingo have small bits of each other’s dark fur colour to further show they’re siblings from the same two parents. Bluey mostly wears purple because i headcanon that as her favourite colour! Bingo has a cute ladybug shirt because of course she does!!! and Mackenzie just really feels to me like someone who would wear glasses, not sure why, but yeah! didn’t know what to do for his clothes really, but i think he looks good in green! and the froggy shirt is very cute :3
speaking of fun, i was playing Splatoon 3 a few days ago and my brain thought, what if Bluey had a similar game? but with bubbles instead of ink? because i really love bubbles, and there’s so many different kinds of bubble toys that are designed to look like weapons… this also made me discover so many new bubble toys i have never seen before!
for the name of the hypothetical game, i came up with Squabble! which is a real word on its own and is used in the show, meaning something along the lines of “arguing over small things”, which already fits great based on that! but it could also be a combination of “squad” and “bubble”, like how Splatoon is “splat” and “platoon” (i think?)! i have so many ideas for weapons, special abilities, game mechanics, and more! i have to say there’s no real story to it, so it’s more of a silly bunch of concept art for my own enjoyment than a whole big project i’ll never start :P
