Our Radiants need more hugs and snuggles. But many of them are Alethi/Vorin and for some reason they don't do hugs. I have a solution, though.
So first, Hoid (and Vasher, too, if he's in a snuggly mood, but that's unlikely) will get a bunch of soft, heavy blankets.
Next, he will Awaken each of them with the Command, "snuggle when you're thrown."
Then, throw the blankets at unsuspecting Radiants.
(Running away giggling like a little child is optional.)
Newest from Nalthis! Amazing blanket that provides comforting hugs and snuggles. It's S.W.Y.T! Snuggle When You're Thrown!
It's soft! It's snuggly! It's oh so very calming! It makes you smile! Its S.W.Y.T!
Are you feeling sad and grumpy? The weight of the Cosmere dragging you down? Do you feel alone and misunderstood in the apocalypse? Get S.W.Y.T! Snuggle When You're Thrown!
Do your friends mope about because the world is ending? Do you want to make them feel better and show them you really care? Get S.W.Y.T! Snuggle When You're Thrown!
Hear these reviews by actual users!
Adolin: It makes me feel very un-Alethi in the best kind of way.
Renarin: It reminds me of my Mom!
Jasnah: Where was this when I was a child?
Dalinar: I think we all need one. Or two.
Kaladin: Zzz *deeply asleep, all wrapped up in the blanket* (Lopen: Hey Gancho, you're a chouta!)
But wait! There's more! Order your S.W.Y.T. in the next ten minutes and you can get it delivered by the king's Wit himself with a free joke! Have a snuggle AND a smile!
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tangentwithtanner
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