Where am I?

Writer with no sense of direction. https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClownIntelPro

[jordanbolton]

To the Person Who Asked If I Was OK

Pre-order my new book here

[sovietnam]

[miraclemaya]

i think it's so funny wehave like letters and whatever from Tolkien talking about how he fucked up with the orcs. it's ao funny

[sackboy166]

[wingedseelie]

actually hell guys

[emotargaryen]

one of the tweets of all time to me

[bells-lettres]

local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele 🤣🤣

Translation by me. :))

[clownintelpro]

Average product support call experience.

[inaturalist-unofficial]

[fwizard]

[yaldabaothadeez]

(source - milkyboxboy on bsky)

[monkeyislandtwo]

fonts will be named shit like viscera antique, 16 bit dreams, doctor's orders, bingo condensed, googly, wish you were here

[equos-bipes]

for your consideration

[tamamita]

You've come this far, warriors. You've finally proven that you're a worthy opponent, but this is where your adventure ends! You must face us, or die trying.

[txttletale]

efforts towards a "positive vision of masculinity" or whatever are so funny because what these guys are trying to figure out is literally "what's a way of being a good person that's Not For Girls™"

[nitrobishop]

boston driving advanced tech guide

you've probably already noticed that turn signals ("blinkahs") don't serve their usual function here - a common saying on the server is that using them as intended is just giving information to your enemies. you may be tempted to conclude that these "blinkahs" are useless. not so! they are exclusively used for parrying cars audacious enough to think they can just drive past you. the timing is a five-frame window beginning when you can first see the approaching car in your sideview mirrors. simply engage your blinkah and then immediately jump out in front of your opponent. if you get the timing right, you will build super meter. if you're too early, you've accidentally performed a safe traffic maneuver, resetting your meter to 0. if you're too late, you crash and may have to transition to direct PvP, which is outside the purview of this guide.

yellow lights can also be parried by running them, with the amount of super gained determined by how far you make it through the intersection before the light turns red. the ideal window you're aiming for here is between your front and back wheels crossing the white line

you can use your super meter to cast a variety of spells to hinder your opponents. popular meter-efficient spells include mainstays such as "Summon Double-Parked Uber Eats Driver", "Line-Skipping Merge", and "Greater Unmarked Cop". if you max out your meter, you can cast the legendary "Power Word: Storrow".

the super meter system works differently for bikes. obviously, since they lack blinkahs and run red lights anyways, they can't build super in any of the normal ways. instead, they build it up passively, since their very existence enrages every driver around them. to offset this, the spell list for bikes is a lot lower-power than the spell list for cars, mostly being focused on mobility or utility instead of offense (although there are some notable exceptions like "U-Lock Missile"). the capstone spell for bikes is, of course, "Post Misleadingly Edited GoPro Footage On Reddit".

Quincy is a PvP-enabled zone.

[maeka]

猫巫女

[ot3]

I'm going to flip my fucking lid. I can't handle the fact that you just can't buy objects that work anymore I can't deal with it. I had a Bluetooth speaker for the better part of a decade that worked perfectly. at a certain point I started using it to play white noise while I sleep and so I kept it on all night every night for over three years. eventually the battery gave up the ghost. I decide to buy a new model of speaker from the same company, just like one tier down in terms of price because I don't need super good audio quality or high volume. that was a few weeks ago. right now it's stuck making a horrible stuttering noise. it can not be shut off. the power button doesn't work nor does the force shutdown. I can't turn the volume down. I just have to I guess sit here with it wrapped in a thick sweater and shoved in a drawer for it to be mostly inaudible until the battery dies. I want to scream. I really would have liked to sleep more last night but there's no chance in hell I'm getting back to bed now after being pissed off this badly. why can't I just buy a fucking object that works

[ot3]

it's still going by the way. at least we know they werent lying about the battery life

[ot3]

it has been around 28 hours and it's still going

[iahtruong]

[thecrazedpotato]

Me when I get the poison effect and I take 1 damage every second

[hellomelancholic]

Girl who thinks she's having a normal and innocuous conversation with another woman entirely unaware that to all outside observes she occupies a panel framed with extremely conspicuous amounts of lily flowers