DEAR READER
todays bird

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Cosmic Funnies
cherry valley forever

Origami Around

Product Placement

#extradirty
tumblr dot com
wallacepolsom

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d e v o n
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

izzy's playlists!

PR's Tumblrdome

Discoholic 🪩
trying on a metaphor

oozey mess
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@co--pern--ica
by Ksenia Kudashkina
me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely
me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin
The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.
by Debra Ceravolo
Tumblr I need everyone to log in rn because the most important, quotable, instantly iconic celebrity post of the century just dropped
A ship — a magnificent ship — full of gay men. And me.
I am furious, but I am sailing.
And what is the charge?! A ship??? A magnificent ship full of gay men and me?!
Package containing three reusable silicone lids for preserving supermarket hummus, which cost very little and which I honestly don’t give a fig about: we’ve posted your parcel. (we’ve posted your parcel.) your parcel is posted. Your parcel is posted. Your parcel is moving. Tracking number for your parcel. Your parcel is being hand-carried to the depot by a courier named GREG. Your parcel is nestled gently at the DEPOT. Your parcel has been fed and watered and given a comfort break. Your parcel’s overnight nurse is named DILYS. She has twelve years of experience and a qualification. She reports YOUR PARCEL is DOING WELL. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. YOUR PARCEL HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. Your courier is named MERVYN and he is an AQUARIUS. your parcel is due at 12:13. We apologise. Your parcel is due at 12:17. This is due to MERVYN encountering ROADWORKS. Your parcel is circling. MERVYN is on your street. MERVYN IS HERE. Here is a photo of your feet with the parcel. Your parcel ARRIVED. how did you like MERVYN. Was he okay. Would you use him again. Would you trust Dilys to safeguard the following: a glass case containing a crystal gem / a balloon / a bucket of water. Your parcel was four minutes late. We’ll email you forever now. Do you like this
Package containing fragile and valuable birthday present to myself, anxiously awaited: due date of FUCKOFF Posted NEVER 💅
spoke deeply to me.
every fucking day brother
did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight
bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.
honkpilled shoomaxxer
straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi
there is nothing lemon squeezy about any of this
Hey what
A Morrowind mod replaces cliff racers with Thomas the Tank Engine as creator Trainwiz jokingly mocks Mattel’s past crackdown attempts.
What
based
Dandelion Hair (v2)
I started painting version 1 of Dandelion Hair in early 2021, but I was never happy with the result. I'm not even sure if I'm happy with version 2, but with each iteration I aim to improve until I am happy with it. Maybe in another year or two I'll tackle version 3~
Version 1
Timelapse
my least favourite turn based strategy game is email
don’t you know it’s not good for your hair to wash it every day. you have to use sulfate and paraben free shampoo. you have to wash your hair with conditioner instead. you should stop washing your hair for a month because actually your scalp has the natural ability to maintain itself. greasy hair can make your acne worse so make sure you wash it every day. you have to use this three step regiment on your face EVERY SINGLE night. buy this $70 serum and use it with the 10 other serums you have but don’t combine them. don’t use anything on your face except a gentle cleanser and moisturizer. do NOT use moisturizer on your face you are DESTROYING your skins natural moisture barrier! acne is just for teenagers you’ll grow out of it :) oh no but adult acne is sooooo common. just take birth control and your acne will go away. cut out all sugar and dairy and your acne will go away. actually those studies are fake, get light therapy treatments instead. take accutane and your acne will go away, only a couple of those kids killed themselves! shave your armpits because it looks better. if you shave your armpits you’re not a feminist. actually shaving your armpits is for HYGIENE. wax your legs. wax your bikini line. but waxing any part of your body can give you ugly ingrown hairs and permanently damage your skin and follicles and besides that’s the patriarchy. (but get laser hair removal instead.) don’t have an eating disorder because that’s too much but definitely do intermittent fasting. don’t eat carbs. don’t eat sugar. don’t eat fat. actually your brain uses carbs as its main energy source. actually fat is necessary but only good fat. you have to DRINK MORE WATER!!! drinking 8 glasses of water per day is a myth. burn fat and get toned by doing these exercises. but cellulite is natural and 99% of women have it so you HAVE to embrace it. take diet pills. ummm don’t you know those are meth?? take NATURAL diet supplements for weight loss. take THESE vitamins to cure your depression and clear your skin and make you better at sex and make your vision better and speed up your metabolism and make your digestion better and make you focus better. i know the ONLY right answer but you have to pay me for it. follow my blog! listen to my podcast! subscribe to my email newsletter! buy my snake oil!!