[codemartyr]

❝   I WANTED TO FORGET MY FRAILTY  ,  but  .  .  .  if we can find the Source of the bloodsprings and ensure a stable supply of blood beads, revenants will be freed from their thirst. Humans and revenants will finally be able to live together in peace. I’m going to take responsibility for my past. I think it’s the least I can do.”

⋆  independent LOUIS AMAMIYA of CODE VEIN  ,  very spoiler heavy !  & untagged  ,  proceed with caution for  :  violent  ,   mature  ,  vampiric content.  ⋆  oc  /  crossover  /  multimuse friendly  .  ⋆  written by unicorn.    ⋆  

{  .  .  .  } a study in recalling the memories of your past - no matter how deeply they may hurt you, rising to fight for a world that has long been lost to the apocalypse, searching for peace between monsters and their prey, remaining kind in a cruel world that rewards villains, preventing the genocide of innocent humans, and sacrificing one's life to play the role of martyr when all others have already given up hope.

+ CARRD  .

blog established 2019, re-established 2022  ›  my main blog is @wonderloste​.

personals w/o a rp sideblog in their pinned post are blocked on sight. posts on my blog are not meant for personals to reblog. art c.

sporadic activity rn while dealing with medical stuff.

[codemartyr]

obvsly i posted this on my main blog so my secondary blogs are kinda quiet rn but KJNMEKRJHN we’re moving apartments rn. i’ll be back active on ALL my blogs after we’re done, which will be a little bit after the holidays / in the next 2 weeks or so :’)

[monofanii]

[codemartyr]

starter call. 💃

[bimediyecikipsanagelesimvar]

"Your beauty never ever scared me."

[codemartyr]

HAPPINESS. — being unable to stop smiling. laughter.  bear hugs. happy tears. waving arms around.  dancing. contently sighing. eyes twinkling. laugh lines.  childlike playfulness.   skipping. talking more.  affection. cracking more jokes than usual.  gesturing more when talking. higher pitched voice.  squealing.  jumping around. clapping.

SADNESS. —  tearing up. self hugging.  one-arm cross. an aching chest.  scratchy throat.  a runny nose. turning away.  deep breaths. quivery smiles. crying. infantile sobbing.  hands gripping each other or an object.  covering mouth. puffy eyes. eyes appear red. voice breaking.  a distant or empty stare.  monotone voice. asking for comfort. faking a smile. crumbling. shaking. whimpering.  depression.  abusing an unhealthy habit. withdrawing from others. big teary eyes. doing something even if it could hurt them.

ANGER. —furrowed brows. baring teeth. passive-aggressive comments. avoiding eye contact. sarcasm. headache. sore muscles. hiding clenched fists. irritability.  jumping to conclusions. raising voice. going silent. demanding immediate action. keeping it all in until exploding.  body tensing. making risky decisions.  middle finger.

FEAR. — wanting to flee or hide. what-ifs.  images of what-could-be flashing in mind. uncontrollable trembling. rapid breathing. screaming. a skewed sense of time. irritability. keeping silent. denying fear. turning away from the cause. pretending to be brave. nail-biting. lip-biting.   scratching skin.  a joking tone but a voice that cracks. fainting. insomnia. panic attacks. exhaustion. substance abuse.  tics.  rushing adrenaline.  face draining of colour.  hair lifting on the back of the neck. feeling rooted to the spot.  making body as small as possible. staring but not seeing. crying. a shrill voice. whispering.  gripping something or someone.  stuttering.  flinching at noises. pleading.

EXHAUSTION.  eyes.  mood swings.  hallucinations.  calling people by the wrong name. dizziness. denying they’re tired. slow blinking.  trouble concentrating.  stumbling.  leaning on a doorframe for support. sluggish movements.  falling asleep someplace that isn’t a bed.  becoming irritated by the smallest things. “i’m awake, i’m fine.”  shaking so bad they spill their drink. fall asleep in their clothes. lay their head on the table because they’re so tired. passing out.

[cyberstole]

SENTENCE  STARTERS :  ALONE  WITH  YOU  IN  THE  ETHER  BY  OLIVIE BLAKE 

PART ONE, BEFORES

❛ they see you closer than you are, but you’re further from reach than either you or they can imagine. ❜

❛ what are you thinking about today? ❜

❛ maybe tomorrow, everything would be different. ❜

❛ take me home, stranger. ❜

❛ maybe we should break up. ❜

❛ you’re one of those brainy fucks, right? ❜

❛ your future self will always see what your present self is blind to. ❜

❛ cigarettes are extremely out of fashion. and they’re bad for you. ❜

PART TWO, CONVERSATIONS

❛ you’re obviously a very good liar, ❜

❛ if i were a liar, wouldn’t my lies be extremely valuable currency to me? ❜

❛ i don’t think we’re really capable of loving the things our parents love. ❜

❛ can you make this less like an interview, please? ❜

❛ the point is, you’re observing me too closely. ❜

❛ i was formerly a thief. ❜

❛ did you get the lies you came for? ❜

❛ you want to puzzle me out like a math problem. ❜

❛ crime doesn’t make a person complex, everyone has a history. ❜

❛ do you want me to leave you alone? ❜

❛ i want to see what you see. ❜

❛ are you interested in me? ❜

❛ i’m not trying to predict you. i’m trying to understand you. ❜

❛ couldn’t you predict me if you understood me? ❜

❛ i like it, your brain. ❜

❛ right, one impossibility at a time. ❜

❛ i wasn’t really thinking about you, to be honest. ❜

❛ it’s very… austere, isn’t it? ❜

❛ i could study you for a lifetime, carrying all of your peculiarities and discretions in the webs of my spidery palms, and still feel empty-handed. ❜

❛ don’t hold hands with anyone ever again. ❜ 

❛ there she is. queen of chaos. ❜  

❛ don’t worry, you’ll fit perfectly. don’t worry, there’s nothing here for you to break. ❜

❛ there, now it looks like somebody cares about you. ❜

❛ there is nothing worse than being predictable. nothing smaller than feeling ordinary. ❜

❛  so don’t speak. just stay here with me, just breathe. ❜

❛  haven’t you been paying enough attention to run? ❜

❛  don’t go, just stay. settle over me like the tide, cover me like a blanket, wrap around me like the sun.❜

❛ i think that, for someone to get close to you, you must have to give them one key at a time. and even then, only one level can be opened at once. ❜

❛ you know, it’s poor form to accuse a lady of lying all the time.❜

PART THREE, KEYS

❛ do you imagine things? Is your life a dream or a chart? ❜

❛ come closer, let’s see what happens, let’s see how the stars shine on your skin. ❜

❛ i know you’re not stupid. that’s the worst part. ❜

❛ all this time we’ve been talking and you’ve been syncopating your breath to mine and your pulse to mine and your thoughts to my thoughts, you’ve been learning how to love me, haven’t you? ❜

❛ if i am a lover of impossible problems then you will have loved me for my impossibilities. ❜

❛ what else matters but this, me, us? ❜

❛ am i imagining this? ❜

❛ i want to see your art. ❜

❛ this night is stolen, i want grand larceny and this is petty theft. ❜

❛ austere. it’s a cold word. ❜

❛ you have never understood beauty and all the worse for you, you never will. ❜

❛ i am more addicted to the thought of your name on my tongue than i am to any other form of vice. ❜

❛ the thought of having you is more dangerous than any cocktail of drugs, the idea of belonging to you endlessly destructive. ❜

❛ it’s a fire. i used to burn out, now i just burn.❜

❛ his name is written on my skin, he scarred me. ❜

❛ you just seem like you’re looking for something to overwhelm you.❜

❛ you can’t fix me. ❜

❛ i don’t see anything to fix. ❜

❛ thank you for the shape you took in my life but it’s over now, it doesn’t fit. ❜

PART FOUR, FIRSTS

❛ something is wrong with us, we are unwell, no one has ever felt any of this without destruction. ❜

❛ empires have fallen like this. ❜

❛ my god, what a waste of time doing anything else but holding you. ❜

❛ jesusfuckingchrist what have you done to me? ❜

❛ go on, ruin me. wreck me, please. ❜

❛ am i the girl who stays while others leave? ❜

❛ i love your brain.❜

❛ can you love my brain even when it is small? when it is malevolent? when it’s violent? can you love it when it doesn’t love me? ❜

❛ i’m going to tell you my secrets. ❜

❛ come home with me. ❜

❛ i want your future, i want it for me. ❜

❛ i’m going to replace those memories, i’m taking them back for me. ❜

❛ i want you to say everything, anything. i want to have your thoughts, i want to bottle them, i want to put them in my drawer for safekeeping. ❜

❛ jesus, we’re fucked, aren’t we? ❜

PART FIVE, VARIABLES

❛ come outside, come look at the stars. ❜

❛ i worry that if you try to keep up with her, you’ll burn out. ❜

❛ you’re wrong about her. ❜

❛ ether is what they called the air in the realm of the gods. a shining, fluid substance. ❜

❛ you poor thing, what a curse. i wonder which god you angered.❜

❛ you can’t just live in your past lives. ❜

❛ so this is what it is to love something you cannot control, it feels precisely like terror. ❜

❛ i thought you’d be sick of me by now. ❜

❛ every time you love, pieces of you break off and get replaced by something you steal from someone else. ❜

❛ yes, it is perilously wonderful to suffer so sweetly with you. ❜

❛ can’t you see how intangibly i exist, and how perilously? ❜

❛ will I always fear him as much as I love him? ❜

PART SIX, TURNS

❛ you really haven’t changed, have you? ❜

❛ you can always undream me, unbelieve me. ❜

❛ i’m strange, okay we’re both strange, nobody understands us except for us. ❜

❛ you think i don’t know that there’s something wrong with me? ❜

❛ i think you need me more than you want me. ❜

❛ there’s a difference between cravings and compulsions. ❜

❛ i love your brain even when i fear it. ❜

❛ have i already destroyed this little fledgling thing i tried to nurture? ❜

❛ whatever you are made of, i am made of it, too. ❜

❛ it isn’t pretty, it’s lonely, it’s desolate, it’s a chilling portrait of vastness. ❜

❛ she does burn me, she ignites me. ❜

❛ she is my hope and for that she is dangerous, unequivocally, but she is also alive, unreservedly. ❜

❛ it’s you and me right now, stranger ❜

❛ it’s you and me alone in the ether, and you don’t even know it yet. ❜

❛ this is what it looks like to love you; it looks like an abyss. ❜

❛ all falls come with danger, but not us. not us, we float. ❜

❛ because you and i, we are so different, aren’t we, and yet we are more like each other than the rest of the world is like us. ❜

[codemartyr]

i hc louis as french-japanese & thus he can speak both languages fluently, though after he lost his memories he doesn’t really recall the family dynamics that led to that. ( his mother was french & his father was japanese. ) he’s also able to speak english, though he retains his accent when he does. speaking of : his accent leans heavily to the french side when he speaks and it shows when he communicates in japanese, as well.

louis took more after his mother & karen took after their father, which is bittersweet with their mother having been the first of their parents to prematurely pass away when they were young. his father often commented on how much he reminded him of her before he, too, passed on, despite their best efforts to take care of him.

even after regaining some of his memories, louis doesn’t entirely remember his family and often is melancholy over the fact he can’t recall his parents faces anymore at all.

[codemartyr]

s/o to my mutuals who follow me on like all 50 of my rp blogs yall the real ones

[codemartyr]

❝ you’re so beautiful. ❞ ( from Isabella to Louis! I hope you don't mind me hopping back on this account! ^^; )

&  RE  :     interaction prompt    /    @bloodyblessings.

HE’S  BASHFUL  ON  PRINCIPLE  :  AWKWARD  IN  HIS  interactions with others, but more-so with her when she looks at him how she is now. It doesn’t show in his expression, but rather in the way his palms almost slip from where he leans against the balcony’s rails outside their hideout. He catches himself before it becomes too obvious, but there’s a brief moment where he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and worries it between his fangs out of embarrassment. His eyes only turn her way for a moment to search her gaze before he’s hastily staring back out at the horizon of their hostile city. He finds it exceedingly difficult, suddenly, to keep eye contact.

“That’s   .  .  .  I wouldn’t say—”  He isn’t sure how to respond to that. In the end, he falls silent, drawn in on himself. It isn’t meant to be a slight against her. In truth, he simply isn’t sure how to go about such affections. She’s painfully honest, as opposed to he, who often hides his own thoughts and emotions. Justice he could describe for hours, but his heart? Finally, one hand raises to brush hair absently from his eyes in a nervous tick, before his palm settles behind his neck. He still doesn’t look at her, granted, but he does smile, albeit small as the gesture is.  “I should be the one to say that, shouldn’t I? To you  ...  I mean.”  Obviously.

[codemartyr]

ok i’ll stop rambling and do things but like do u ever think about how louis barely had an outward reaction to having to relive literally the worst traumas in his whole ass life when they discovered his memories. talking abt how stoic and distant he is from people despite fighting so hard to save their world, he is a TOUGH man to crack the mask of ☠️ the only times he really showed any notable amount of emotion was when they found karen & when he killed the queenslayer, both of which were a strong reaction of specifically grief. man’s has such strong emotional suppression, i imagine if he weren’t so.... blatantly vocal about wanting to help ppl most would prob think him outright void of emotion entirely tbh.

[codemartyr]

tbt one of the first things louis tells the queenslayer is that they can trust him bc he won’t stab them in the back and then in the heirs ending he literally stabs them through the heart from behind while in tears bc he has to break his promise to keep them from suffering for eternity alone 🤡🤡🤡

[httpbiohazard]

Code Vein l Heirs Ending

[codemartyr]

❝ i told you to run. ❞ (from yakumo! hi i hope you dont mind uwehehe)

&  RE  :     interaction prompt    /    @yoakenouta.

HE  DOESN’T  RESPOND  AT  FIRST  ,  INSTEAD  ENGROSSED  IN  their surroundings with his eyes trained on the horizon  :  perhaps he suspected more hostility lurking behind the rubble of the fallen city, but as quickly as the last of the lost had fallen, so too did silence surround them. It’d be deafening, were it not for the distant shuffling of enemies greater in the distance. He releases a sigh and turns to regard his companion now, expression seemingly stoic ‘neath his mask, save for the subtle furrow of his brow.

“  —  you thought I’d listen?”  He was not the type to retreat alone  :  not when he could stand at the side of others who needed his help. Aside from a loss of energy, there’s no real danger in facing such intense battles  ...  but he hadn’t wanted him to get hurt, regardless.  “Death may not be permanent, but that doesn’t mean I want you to get hurt under my watch. I wouldn’t leave you alone, regardless.”  He shakes his head, gaze tearing away from him to look elsewhere now. The injuries he himself had sustained were more grievous than his mannerisms would give away  ...  but they would mend.  “Are you alright, Yakumo?”

[codemartyr]

louis is so funny bc he treats heroic and villain muses the same aka he doesn’t even notice them and only cares abt them on a general “he is a good person” baseline until they personally metaphorically grab him and Force Him to perceive them and then he gets embarrassed by the prospect of caring abt someone on a deeper level help

[memelleity]

snow white & the huntsman sentence starters

❝ it will heal in time. ❞

❝ you’re so beautiful. ❞

❝ this all must be difficult for you. ❞

❝ i too lost my mother when i was a young girl. ❞

❝ i feel that you and i are bound. ❞

❝ you will be the ruin of me. ❞

❝ men use women. they ruin us, and when they are finished with us, they toss us to their dogs like scraps. ❞

❝ first i will take your life, my lord. and then i’ll take your throne. ❞

❝ mirror, mirror, on the wall. who is the fairest of them all? ❞

❝ is there no end to your power and beauty? ❞

❝ what happened to you? ❞

❝ ____? is he alive? ❞

❝ your son? handsome. obviously a debt owed to his mother. ❞

❝ there was a time i would have lost my heart to a face like yours. ❞

❝ magic comes at a lofty price. ❞

❝ i have something for what ails you. ❞

❝ did i wake you? ❞

❝ get me out of here! ❞

❝ you swore that you would protect me! ❞

❝ there’s no one i can trust. ❞

❝ what good is gold to me if i’m lying dead with the crows picking at my eyes? ❞

❝ what would you give, to see ____ again? ❞

❝ a life for a life. ❞

❝ what makes you so damn valuable? ❞

❝ i’m getting away from you. you’re trouble, that’s what you are. ❞

❝ i know sheep that have more fight in them. ❞

❝ who are you? ❞

❝ i still don’t trust you. ❞

❝ give me that, before you lose a finger. ❞

❝ we are all that’s left, don’t you understand? ❞

❝ do you drink to drown your sorrows, or your conscience? ❞

❝ i suppose a man’s sorrows are his own. ❞

❝ what does a young girl like you know about sorrow? ❞

❝ i want to show you something. ❞

❝ if someone comes at you, you raise this arm up, you block and use their strength against them. ❞

❝ you drive it through their heart, to the hilt. do not hesitate. look in their eyes and do not pull it out until you see their soul. ❞

❝ i told you to run. ❞

❝ you have traveled far, and carried a great burden. ❞

❝ i’ve had worse jobs. ❞

❝ why didn’t you tell me? ❞

❝ i didn’t trust you. i’m sorry. ❞

❝ anything i ever cared about was taken away from me. not this time. ❞

❝ i don’t like killing girls. ❞

❝ i don’t like this. sounds like trouble. ❞

❝ shut up, princess. ❞

❝ let’s get the hell out of here. ❞

❝ where are we? ❞

❝ that seat is not taken, if that’s what you were about to ask. ❞

❝ there’s no need to thank me. ❞

❝ i know i’m a bit cheeky, but… would you care for a dance? ❞

❝ i’ve felt peculiar. queer, almost. ❞

❝ how much have you had to drink? ❞

❝ i thought you said you’ll let bygones be bygones. ❞

❝ what’s in it for you? ❞

❝ you have eyes, but you do not see. ❞

❝ she screamed your name, but you weren’t there. ❞

❝ we used to have pride. now we just pilfer, drink, and dream about when we didn’t. ❞

❝ if i had thought you were alive, i would have come for you. ❞

❝ i used to hate her, but now i feel only sorrow. ❞

❝ if i had a choice, i’d take you far away. keep you safe by my side. ❞

❝ i have a duty. so do you. ❞

❝ i would have done anything for you. ❞

❝ you see? love always betrays us. ❞

❝ what are you looking at? do something! ❞

❝ you deserved better. ❞

❝ you both deserved better, and i’m so sorry i failed you. ❞

❝ your grief clouds your judgment. ❞

❝ death favors no man. ❞

❝ all these years, all i’ve known is darkness. ❞

❝ i’d rather die today than live another day of this death. ❞

❝ six against an army. i like them odds. ❞

❝ how does it feel, knowing you were the one who led them to their deaths? ❞

❝ you see, we’re not that different, are we? ❞

❝ i’m everything you’re not. ❞

❝ you can’t have my heart. ❞

❝ hail to the queen! ❞

[codemartyr]

every day i think of the heirs ending w louis killing the queenslayer so they wouldn’t have to suffer for eternity and taking their place to suffer instead