[[OOC - Considering getting things restarted here with ONI Sterling, since he was such an enjoyable bastard...]]
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Monterey Bay Aquarium

Love Begins

Origami Around
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Product Placement
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
we're not kids anymore.

ellievsbear
d e v o n
occasionally subtle

tannertan36
Xuebing Du
tumblr dot com
RMH
AnasAbdin
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
DEAR READER

#extradirty

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@codename-sterling
[[OOC - Considering getting things restarted here with ONI Sterling, since he was such an enjoyable bastard...]]
What is SBJ 8490-03
"The better question, my curious little feline, is what is your clearance and how the hell do you know that designation? You can’t just expect me to answer that one at length, if at all, without knowing that… "I"d be a fairly piss-poor member of ONI if I did."
only if they’re ginger biscuits on a little doily knitted from the bleached hairs of my political rivals
"This, god damn it. This is how you Navy Intel properly."
[[OOC - Soon to be returning to playing ONI Operative Sterling, after certain circumstances.
As of present, consider everything that I have done up to this point wiped in terms of RP, not that there was much of it that was binding or really complete and proper anyways. I'm just not deleting the entries out of respect to anyone who might want to wade through things... and I'm too lazy to waste hours on it.
So... Clean slate. Fresh start. Done.]]
So, Sterling. I've gotta ask. Who assigns ONI operatives their codenames? Because I've heard some TERRIBLE ones before. Not yours, though. Yours is alright.
“Well, thank you for complimenting my codename; all things considered I use it far more often than, and greatly prefer it to, my given name. But to address your question, it’s a bit situational, really, based off of what Section of ONI you’re working for and what activities you’re undertaking at the time.
“For example, my own codename, Sterling, was given to me by my division head in Section III. Due to the classified nature of my work, it’s the name I use day to day as my records proper have been sealed until the event of my eventual demise and addition to the memorial wall at headquarters. Division heads, handlers, superiors, what have you may prefer a certain structure to the naming conventions of their operatives, or several naming conventions depending on what said operatives are utilized for. A particular ONI Vice Admiral that I know of assigns his top operatives with the ‘ranks’ of the Angelic Hierarchy, styling himself as ‘Seraph’, as ‘God’ would ostensibly be the head of ONI. We also tend to adopt alternative codenames during highly-classified or questionable operations for documentation and communications purposes as an added layer of anonymity and deniability.
“But Operatives themselves never, ever choose their own codenames. The rationale being simple. Ever seen an old film called ‘Reservoir Dogs’? ‘You got four guys all fighting over who’s gonna be Mr. Black, but they don’t know each other, so nobody wants to back down.’ I’ve also never met a Codename: Grim Reaper or anything of the sort, and I’m fairly certain there’s a moratorium on that, anything related to James Bond or Mission: Impossible, and the like.
“So, the short version of your answer is our division heads, leaders, or handlers assign them to us when we begin work as operatives for Section III. But keep in mind, the less classified branches of ONI rarely use Codenames on a day-to-day basis - hell, Section I doesn’t even use them at all, then again PR shouldn’t want to promote the cloak and dagger routine. Then again, they’re not exactly operatives. Section II I believe uses them on an operational basis only for their operatives, while Section III and Section 0 use them most often, as we’re almost entirely made up of operatives doing what needs to be done for humanity and the UEG.”
“You brilliant, brilliant man. Remind me to never get on your bad side.
“And actually, the first successful process for the commercial decaffination of coffee was developed in, like, 1906, by Dr. Ludwig Roselius, who died in 1943. He actually had to have a leg amputated due to bone cancer in 1934. And he was a Nazi.
“Decaf coffee was invented by the Nazis.
“So the crimes against humanity bit is right. Not the execution, but I’d say the cancer was probably karma for the coffee.”
"Oh, I don't believe you'll ever have to worry about getting on my bad side... I don't intend to step on your organization's toes. I'd much rather work in tandem with you, rather than against you.
"I... fucking knew it. The crime against humanity connection. You saying it was related to the Nazis makes perfect sense... And though I'll accept your logic that bone cancer is befitting punishment for the creation of decaf, I admit to being a bit too emotionally invested to cast appropriate judgment.
"I just don't believe that it was nearly painful enough."
blackest-ops:
“Weddings. Weddings. Definitely weddings. It’s too funny to not go with weddings!
“And yes. Coffee allows me to get through the day when I’m not allowed to have alcohol. God help whoever tries to give me decaf, though. I will stab them in the face.”
"The added bonus of Pachebel, of course, is that it's also the basis of a number of commonly heard melodies, and often played at formal affairs without warning. So not only will our little bastard experience the occasional generalized anxiety without a recognizeable source, there's the potential for breakdowns between weddings as well.
"Decaf, might I add, was conceived of by a man who was eventually tried and executed for crimes against humanity. At least, that's the story I'm sticking to, because if it wasn't then I need to remedy this situation at once. Flavored bitter water with coloration and absolutely no power to wake me up... It's a crime, I tell you."
“Why thank you, Agent Steele - I’m quite flattered… My only point of order is to leave the teeth for the first round of non-lethals. That sound, that feel of chitin between the teeth triggers a psychological response in the unfortunate sonofabitch that’s quite unlike any other.
“Then the teeth, then the leeches. Between the fear and the bloodloss, I think you’ll find it quite effective. Then we can consider an apology - again, I say, this was Jack Daniels.
“If you’re not a fan of ‘Commie-Water’, Agent Steele, I’ll aim to change that when we finally meet face to face. I admit to being fond of it, though whiskey and bourbon hold an even level with it in my mind. Of course, my personal favorite type of alcohol is ‘Yes, now’, but I digress…”
“Eh, just not a preference of mine. But hell, if it’s alcohol, I don’t really care that much. That and coffee. Nice, black coffee…
“Anyhow, agreed. First spiders, then teeth, then the tub of leeches. And maybe some music. Something classy, yet common. After all, how would it trigger the PTSD we’re bound to give them if it was so uncommon they’d never hear it again?”
"Coffee is what maintains the balance in the universe, Steele, as in it ensures that I'll not devise a way to bring about it's end somehow, or at least a great social upheaval out of sheer inability to tolerate anyone's bullshit.
"My vote would be a tie between Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major, or Pachebel's Canon in D... I can't decide if it would be more amusing for our transgressor to have random panic attacks at functions that involve chamber orchestras, or at weddings..."
“…Have I ever told you I really like the way you think? I think that first, I’m going to get the pliers and remove all of their teeth. That way they can’t accidentally bite any of the spiders in half when I’m forcing them down their throat. Then I think I’m going to put them in a bathtub filled with…let’s make it leeches.
“Then I might consider accepting any apologies they try to make. Maybe.
“On the upshot, at least they didn’t touch my vodka. Not a fan of Commie-Water, but it’s booze, at least.”
"Why thank you, Agent Steele - I'm quite flattered... My only point of order is to leave the teeth for the first round of non-lethals. That sound, that feel of chitin between the teeth triggers a psychological response in the unfortunate sonofabitch that's quite unlike any other.
"Then the teeth, then the leeches. Between the fear and the bloodloss, I think you'll find it quite effective. Then we can consider an apology - again, I say, this was Jack Daniels.
"If you're not a fan of 'Commie-Water', Agent Steele, I'll aim to change that when we finally meet face to face. I admit to being fond of it, though whiskey and bourbon hold an even level with it in my mind. Of course, my personal favorite type of alcohol is 'Yes, now', but I digress..."
“WHEN I FIND WHO SLIPPED CYANIDE INTO THE HALF-FULL BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS THAT WAS IN MY FRIDGE, I SWEAR TO EVERY SINGLE DEITY LISTENING IN THAT I WILL MAKE THEM REGRET IT. DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL RIDE A BICYCLE MADE OF NIGHTMARES INTO YOUR ASS!
“You ruined the taste…I need a freakin’ drink.”
“Far be it from me to question you, but I’m almost tempted to find out just how one rides a bicycle made of nightmares into someone’s ass… I’ve half a mind to try to sort out who pulled that unpleasant trick on you…
“Really, who fucks with a man’s liquor? Unacceptable!”
“I don’t even know how I’m going to manage the bicycle bit. But I am going to find a way. Either that, or something just as nightmarish. Like feeding the responsible party a mason jar full of spiders. Have you ever seen a man force-fed live spiders? If they were not arachnophobia before, I can all but guarantee they will be.”
"I do believe that spiders should only be the start of that particular arachnid torture... This is Jack Daniels we're talking about here. Begin with the spiders, preferably those with non-lethal venoms at first, and move up from there in varying degrees and lethalities of poison... This particular little shit needs to suffer."
“WHEN I FIND WHO SLIPPED CYANIDE INTO THE HALF-FULL BOTTLE OF JACK DANIELS THAT WAS IN MY FRIDGE, I SWEAR TO EVERY SINGLE DEITY LISTENING IN THAT I WILL MAKE THEM REGRET IT. DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL RIDE A BICYCLE MADE OF NIGHTMARES INTO YOUR ASS!
“You ruined the taste…I need a freakin’ drink.”
"Far be it from me to question you, but I'm almost tempted to find out just how one rides a bicycle made of nightmares into someone's ass... I've half a mind to try to sort out who pulled that unpleasant trick on you...
"Really, who fucks with a man's liquor? Unacceptable!"
Chernobyl - Red Forest Most radioactive place on Earth
“Okay, okay. Fine.
“My bad.”
"I freakin' knew it."
"That damn Rookie blew up a coffee mug in my face. If he doesn't unfuck himself I'm gunna send him to the moon!"
Sterling's lips quirked with a hint of a smile, that he just as quickly swallowed back. "Completely inaccurate, Lance Corporal... It's to the Sun with you, or to a station with a decaying orbit near a black hole..."
helloooooo new wallpaper
Impersonate me in my ask?
“I was about to comment about this giving me flashbacks of infiltrating Insurrectionist-held colonies, but then the prostitutes comment…
“Steele, I do believe that your coworker encountered a murderer not a prostitute, as they generally benefit from the profits of repeat customers and not by killing them. Also, by get better are you saying he actually recovered, or that he’s simply no longer in pain? It seems an important point to ask you to clarify, though I admit I can’t say which option will be more amusing.
“Either way I do so enjoy these odd little transmissions of ours. I’ll be on pins and needles the rest of the day until I find out the answer.”
“Well, that’s Russia for you. She was actually a prostitute, it just turns out she also really liked stabbing Americans. As for my coworker…yes.
“By which I mean he actually recovered, but he did end up dead a few years later. Pack of ghouls. Not my fault. I was on the other side of the world at the time.”
"It's almost disappointing to say but the Russia you're speaking of sounds far more intriguing than the Russia I know of. But it's reassuring, for lack of a better word, to hear that your coworker didn't get himself 'retired from field service' by something that common.
"Of course it's not your fault, nor would it have been had he died during your stint in Moscow. One can't be held accountable for another Agent or Operative getting themselves perished via their own stupidity..."
“…It’s like every trip I have ever taken to Russia. Especially Moscow.
“Word of advice. Not that I’ve ever done this, but don’t do anything with any prostitutes in Moscow. Had a coworker once get stabbed repeatedly. He got better.”
"I was about to comment about this giving me flashbacks of infiltrating Insurrectionist-held colonies, but then the prostitutes comment...
"Steele, I do believe that your coworker encountered a murderer not a prostitute, as they generally benefit from the profits of repeat customers and not by killing them. Also, by get better are you saying he actually recovered, or that he's simply no longer in pain? It seems an important point to ask you to clarify, though I admit I can't say which option will be more amusing.
"Either way I do so enjoy these odd little transmissions of ours. I'll be on pins and needles the rest of the day until I find out the answer."