Cody Schreave

books, art, and how to be the best brother ever

[the-gossipel]

[lady-cornemuseur-prinz]

@codyschreave RUde, I never yelled smh

[codyschreave]

You know, I feel like you did. I mean, maybe "yelling" isn't the right word, but you were definitely annoyed at me calling you "Lady Piper"

[winter-havilliard]

Random Rooms and Raised Voices

Alright, so here is the Cody/Winter talk fic. I’ve been busy and I couldn’t find the time to write it… But here it is! Sorry for typos. There probably won’t be a Cody pov this time.

—————————————-

I paced back and forth in my room.

It felt like I’d been there for hours, contemplating how and when I would talk to Cody. I wasn’t sure whether or not Ashton planned on talking to him or not. But it didn’t matter, I was still going to as well.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I was going to talk to him now. I needed to.

I made my way to my door and stepped out into the hallway. I looked both ways, seeing if I could spot Cody. He was usually on this floor. At first I thought that maybe his meetings were held here, but he might’ve just been here for me.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, only for them to be crushed and run over by the steam roller that is my fears and failures.

I might be acting a little bit dramatic.

I decided to wander the palace a bit in hopes of finding Cody. He had to be somewhere right? The boy liked walks. I did too, but mostly I just enjoyed walking with him.

I did my usual twirl down the halls. It was helping to relieve my anxiety, and man, did I need it. I was a ball of stress at the moment. I wanted to be with Cody, and I hoped that he would feel the same way. He probably did, since he initiated the kiss… But I guess I wanted him to be willing. I wanted him to forget about our image and stay with me until I had to leave.

I hoped I never had to.

* * *

It’s been exactly one hour, and I still hadn’t found Cody. I was thinking about giving up before I thought I could faintly hear his voice.

I glanced down the hallway, and sure enough, Cody was there. He’d rounded the corner and was walking in my direction.

In a moment of panic, I put my back against the wall and hid myself to the best of my ability. I was worried that he might walk in the other direction if he saw me. He wasn’t a fan of confrontation, that much I knew.

As Cody got closer, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. The moment his figure appeared in my line of sight, I reached out and grabbed him by the collar. He yelped in surprise as I dragged him into the closest room.

I closed the door and locked it, making sure no one could get in. I turned around just in time to see Cody whipping his head towards me. “Winter? Wha-”

“Cody, shut up for a second,” I cut him off.

He stared at me with wide eyes and opened his mouth before closing it again, seemingly deciding to follow my instructions. He took a deep breath and nodded his head, signaling me to continue.

I wrung my hands together awkwardly. “Um I’m sorry for dragging you in here. But… Um. We need to talk.”

Cody pursed his lips. “Okay,” he said barely above a whisper.

“Can we… Can we talk about us,” I asked hesitantly.

It was brief, but I swear I could see the corner of Cody’s lips quirk up. “Us,” he parroted back to me. I nodded.

“I know you said that it was a mistake, we were a mistake… But I’d like to at least have a say in all of this. I don’t like being excluded, Cody and I’d prefer if you didn’t do just that,” I ranted.

Cody ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Win. I was trying to do what I thought was best.”

“What if I don’t agree with what you thought was ‘best’? What if I think the complete opposite?”

Cody raised an eyebrow at me as he leaned against the wall. “And what do you think is best? What do you consider the ‘opposite’ of what I decided?”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re smart, love. I think you can figure it out.” I don’t know why I called him that, but it was true nonetheless.

“Doubtful. It seems that the rest of your friends assume me to be 'clueless’… Whatever that means,” he grumbled.

I rolled my eyes at him. I wasn’t even sure why I liked him so much, he was so annoying sometimes. But like a weirdo, I considered it to be one of my favorite things about him.

“Well, I guess it seems I’m going home then,” I sighed. Cody had an alarmed expression on his face and I had to contain my smile as I continued. “Since it seems that the prince hasn’t taken much of an interest in me anyway.”

Cody scoffed. “A prince has definitely taken an interest in you.”

“'A’ prince?”

Cody’s eyes went wide when he realized his mistake. He began to stutter, trying to find an explanation. “Um uhh… Yeah. 'A’ for Ashton.” He tried to smile at me, but he looked more constipated rather than happy.

I erupted into laughter. I cooed at Cody as his cheeks and the tips of his ears tinged pink. He was so awkward. It was great, the best.

I stepped closer to Cody and placed my hands on his cheeks. “Cody, stop being stupid. Talk to me.“

He huffed out a breath. “Winter…”

“Just be honest with me. Do you want to be with me or not?”

Cody stepped out of my grip. “It’s not that simple, Win.”

“Then make it simple,” I exclaimed. “There’s nothing in our way! Ashton knows and he doesn’t care!”

Cody whipped his head to me and scrunched his eyes shut. “I’d make your life hell, Winter. You being with me could ruin your reputation. I can’t do that to you.”

I groaned in frustration. “I don’t care about any of that. I care about you. Only you.” I grabbed his hand in mine. “I’m safe, Cody. Ashton’s fine with this. The people’s opinion of me doesn’t matter right now. The only thing that matters is you and me… So tell me,” I begged. “Just tell me how you feel.”

Cody stared at me, a pained expression etched onto his face. He pulled my into a tight hug, cradling me against his chest. “I… I love you,” he muttered. “Uh… Sorry about that.”

I smiled into his shirt. “I swear, Cody. If you keep apologizing, I’ll hit you.” Cody chucked. “Oh, and I love you too.”

Cody tightened his hold on me, before he pulled away slightly. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said, looking down to me.

I didn’t bother to hide my grin as I nodded for him to go ahead. He smiled back at me before he leaned down and met his lips with mine.

It was a sweet kiss, a happy one. I could definitely get used to this. I was in love with him, I really was. I never wanted to stop kissing him. It didn’t seem that Cody wanted to either.

Cody placed his hands securely on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He led us over towards the wall and rested my back against it. He pulled my thighs up until my legs were wrapped around his waist.

I didn’t expect Cody to be so forward with me. I was a decently innocent person, but Cody had me beat. But I guess not right at this moment.

The longer I kissed Cody, the more I understood why Yanely and Gracey enjoyed this so much. But I think I had the better situation. I was with someone that I for sure loved, that for sure loved me back. It made everything so much sweeter. There was no uncertainty in the kiss. It felt like it was supposed to be this way.

Cody clutched me tighter to him as he carried me towards the bed. He rested me on the mattress and continued to kiss me. He was right above me, resting on his elbows, so not to collapse all his weight onto me. “I love you,” he whispered in between kisses, I did the same.

I smiled into the kiss as I dragged my hands up to his tie, I loosened and took it off of him. I then began to undo the buttons of his shirt. He watched me hands the whole time. I wasn’t sure why I was allowing us to go this far, but I decided it didn’t matter. I loved him, he loved me, and I felt safe.

Once I finished with the buttons of Cody’s shirt, he removed it all together and looked into my eyes. I ran my hand down his torso, admiring his muscles. I looked up to him to see so much emotion in his eyes- question, want, need, and so much love; love that I could gladly return.

Cody lifted his hand to my shoulder, playing with the strap of my dress. He pulled it down a bit, and leaned down to kiss the skin there. He trailed his lips up to my neck and eventually back to my mouth.

I flipped us over and straddled him. He began to laugh at the movement and I laughed with him. He sat up, so I was now in his lap. He began to kiss my neck again as he began to unzip my dress. I closed my eyes, savoring the moment. I knew I’d have to cut this off soon.

I still felt too young and immature to carry this on any further. I’d prefer if we could continue this in a more romantic situation- not on a Monday afternoon in a random room, after a fight.

Cody finished pulling my zipper down before he leaned back to look at me. “We should stop, shouldn’t we,” he breathed out. He was practically panting and I could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

“Uh, yeah. That’s probably best,” I nodded.

“Okay…” Cody agreed, but he kissed me again. “Whoops last time.” He kissed me again. “Last time, I swear. His lips were on mine yet again.

I pulled away and giggled as he kept pecking my cheek and lips. "Cody, quit it. We have to stop.”

He groaned. “Ugh fine.”

I got out of his lap and stood up. “Can you zip me up,” I asked, referring to the undone zipper of my dress.

He nodded and stood up. He started to pull up the zipper before placing a soft kiss on my neck and hugging me from behind. “Cody…” I scolded. My face was burning at the contact of his bare skin against mine.

He stepped away from me and grabbed his shirt. He began to put it back on, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t slightly disappointed.

“Wait a few minutes to leave after I do, in case there’s anyone out there.”

“Yeah, alright,” he replied.

I nodded as I walked over to the door. Cody grabbed my hand and yanked me back, kissing me one last time. “Sorry, couldn’t help it,” he shrugged. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied, not bothering to hide the goofy smile from my face.

I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway. “Winter,” someone called out. I whipped my head towards the sound. Cilly was there, sitting on a bench with Alizé. Well, that was a weird sight. Probably not as weird as what I looked like at the moment. This was incredibly awkward. While Cillia smirked, Alizé simply looked confused.

My eyes went wide at the sight of her. I hoped she didn’t realize what I had just done. Though Ashton had given Cody and me his blessing, we had decided to keep the relationship discreet for the time being.

I quickly turned away from her and fast-walked in the other direction. I really hoped Cilly and Alizé would leave their spots before Cody walked out. I’m sure they could piece two and two together.

Though I was feeling awkward and exposed from seeing them in the hallway, it was nothing compared to the excitement and euphoria. I’d gotten my guy, and I was pretty happy about it.

I knew it would be ten times harder keeping a full blown relationship secret rather than just feelings. But I’d push through. For him. Always for him.

[winter-havilliard]

The Aftermath (Winter pov)

Not challenge related but it is a sort of part 2 to the third challenge (windy af) sorry for any typos. There’s a Cody pov to this sooo… Be happy 😋 There will also be a follow up fic to this but idk when it’ll be posted. Sorry I have school. —————————————-

“I’m sorry,” Cody muttered.

~ ~ ~

My mind was racing a million miles a second. This was not supposed to happen. Yanely and Gracey weren’t supposed to see us.

The hallway was dead silent as we all stared at each other. No one truly knew what to say. My mouth opened and closed a few times, but there were no words.

Gracey’s previously shocked face turned to one of irritation. “You idiot,” she sneered at Cody. “Seriously? A hallway? Use your brain!”

Cody flinched and cringed at her words. I wish I could know what he was thinking right now.

“Why the hell would you do that? She could be killed!”

“Gracey,” I exclaimed, trying to silence her.

She looked as if she was about to say more before Yanely put her hand on Gracey’s shoulder.

Yanely gave her a reassuring smile and it seemed as though they were having a conversation with their eyes. I was always jealous of them. Though I had known Yan longer, she and Gracey had developed a much closer relationship.

Yanely turned her gaze over to Cody and me. She gave us a once over before smirking. “Let’s leave them alone, Gracey. They should… Talk.”

Gracey glanced at us wearily before nodding and following her back to the party. Before she stepped in the room, she said “be safe.”

I watched as they stepped into the party, carrying my deepest secret with them.

Cody cleared his throat and I turned back to him. He had his gaze cast down to the ground, as if he couldn’t bear to look at me. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Cody ran his hand down his hair and sighed. “She’s right. I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake–”

I just stared at him. Did he honestly believe it was a mistake? That stung.

“–it was a spur of the moment,” he continued. “Uh… My bad.”

My bad? That’s all he could say to me?

I grabbed his hand in mine. “Cody… I–” He cut me off before I could finish.

“I want you safe,” he said as he brought his eyes back to mine. “I need you safe.”

I tried to protest but no words would come out. All I could do was stand there as he broke my heart.

“Gracebella is right. You could be killed,” he sighed heavily. “You’re not supposed to be with me. You came for my brother,” he looked almost pained at those words. “I refuse to take away your chance of happiness.”

I wanted to scream out that it wasn’t Ashton that made me happy, it was him. It had always been him.

Even when I had first met Ashton, I knew that I wouldn’t ever love him. There was always something else. Someone else. I knew it had been wrong, but I couldn’t help it. I had to stay. But not for Ashton.

“I’m sorry, Winter,” Cody whispered as he began to pull away from my grasp. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I was so tired of those words. I was tired of pretending to be a sweet, little competitor for a man I didn’t even have feelings for. I wanted to end it all. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t leave if I wanted to be with Cody.

This was complete and utter bullshit.

Those words rang through my mind as I watched Cody walk away. He looked defeated. But he had nothing on how I was feeling at the moment. It felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and smashed into a million little pieces.

It wasn’t long before I broke down.

I fell to the ground in a sobbing heap of silver dress material. I didn’t care who saw me anymore.

It was a few moments later that I heard the creak of the door and the clacking of heels. “Winter? What’s wrong,” Cillia, the fourth member of the Hoe Squad, exclaimed, reaching down to brush my hair away.

I merely shook my head at her, silently refusing to explain. She gave me a sympathetic look and pulled me up off the floor.

She walked me to my room and opened my door. We were greeted by my maids worried expressions at my disheveled appearance. “What happened,” Starra questioned.

“She doesn’t want to talk about it,” Cillia replied. I was thankful for her respecting my wishes. I was glad she had officially joined our group of friends. I’d miss her dearly after I left. After all, there was no reason for me to stay anymore.

Cillia and my maids decided it was best to leave me be, and exited my door. But Lillia stayed. She walked over to my bed and lied down next to me. “Does it have anything to do with Cody,” she asked softly. I stuffed my face into my pillow. “I saw him when I was in the hallway. He looked miserable.”

I stared at her and willed my soft crying to stop. I wiped my tears away. “Yeah, well that’s just dandy.” I knew it was rude to snap at her like that, but I didn’t care any more. I didn’t feel like being sweet right now.

Lillia sighed beside me. “Travis asked me out.”

I started to cry again. At least one of us was happy.

* * *

I had been a little bit bratty.

At least that was what everyone was saying. I’d been snapping and yelling at everyone for no reason.

There was a reason. They just didn’t know what it was.

There’s was a knock at the door and I groaned from my bed.

The door opened, and Piper stepped in. “You didn’t come to dinner.” I hadn’t in a few days. I’d been taking my meals in my room. Away from everyone else. Away from him.

“I know,” I replied flatly.

“Neither did Cody. He hasn’t in a while either and when he does, he just stares at your chair.”

I stared at her for a few moments. I wondered what she was getting at. She knew nothing as far as I knew. “What’s your point, Piper?”

She gave me pointed look. “What happened.”

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you acting this way? You’ve barely left your room.”

“Feminine issues,” I drawled. It was a lie, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Liar.” But I guess she knew anyway. “Seriously, you’re being a grouch. You need to leave this room. Cambia said you’d sent her away when she came to see you.”

“She was being annoying,” I grumbled.

“She gave you flowers. I hardly find that to have any need of conviction,” she gave me a flat look. “Please just leave your room. You’re the only one that can calm Gracey down around Liz. You already know that Yan is placing bets on who would win.”

Gracey. Gracey would win. She had claws.

“Fine.”

Piper looked shocked by my words. “Seriously?”

“I agreed didn’t I?”

She smiled brightly. “Good. Well my work here is done,” she said before stepping back into the hallway.

I sighed. She was right. I was being a grouch. I needed to get back to my usual self. It was for the best. I wasn’t doing anyone else any good by making them miserable with me.

* * *

I breathed in the fresh air. I was currently in the gardens, a place I hadn’t gone to often.

It was probably because I was usually talking to Cody, and I knew it would look bad if we were seen together. The press could easily take pictures of us if we were outside.

I felt my chest tighten at the thought of him. It was becoming a problem that all of my thoughts could be traced back to him. I was torturing myself.

I closed my eyes for a few moments, trying to erase my mind.

When I opened them, I was greeted by the sight of Ashton towering over me. I expected him to yell at me for the other night when Cody dragged me away from him, or maybe eliminate me. But instead, he just smiled and I smiled back. I decided that I should quit the bitter act, and lighten up a little.

“Hey Trashton,” I teased. Joking around was probably my best route right now. It would keep things light and happy. At least I hoped.

“Oh, how kind of you,” he replied sarcastically.

“I’m known for it,” I replied smoothly. If we’re honest, I was more know for being a brat… at least recently.

“Never mind. You’re the worst.”

“Well you suck,” I retorted.

Ashton smirked. “I tend to avoid sucking, actually.”

I shot him an unconvinced look. “I’ll ask the gaurds.”

Ashton laughed, and I was glad that he did. I was worried for a split second that he’d be upset about the joke. I clearly didn’t know him that well. I wasn’t sure why I even said that to him. I wasn’t usually this forward.

“So, I heard you nearly did ‘the deed’ in my room,” I smirked, referring to his time with Yanely. “But thank the Lord you didn’t. I don’t need your sins infesting my room.”

Ashton laughed. “You just keep your own sins in there?” Nope. I prefer hallways.

“Exactly.” It wasn’t really true, but it was silly, and I’d stick to that.

Ashton looked me up and down. “Oh I see.”

“What do you see?” I meant it in a joking way, but clearly Ashton had other plans.

“You’re secretive,” he said seriously.

I didn’t like his tone or his words for that matter. “How do you infer that?”

“I just know that you are.” I raised my eyebrows. “You keep all the other girl’s secrets.” True. “You’ve got to have your own.” Also true.

“Maybe,” I said slowly as I rested my head on my hand. I wanted to sound light. I didn’t want a serious conversation. “But can you guess them? I dare you to guess one thing about a secret of mine. If you get at least one part of it right, I might just reveal it to you.” It was a risky move. But I’d done this with Ashton before, he’d never acted serious with these games.

Or so I thought.

Ashton’s expression turned grim. “I don’t think you’re here for me anymore,” he said seriously. My smile dropped. “Maybe you were at the beginning, maybe not. But definitely not anymore.”

I searched his face for any hint of mischief or amusement, but all I found was the truth. He believed every word he was saying. This wasn’t a joke to him.

“Why do you say that,” I questioned as I straightened my posture. I suddenly felt watched. Ashton had that effect.

Ashton stared at me for a few seconds before answering. “Think of all the times we’ve talked. When have you come to see me for yourself.” I looked at him questionably. I was confused by his words. He huffed out a breath and tried to explain. “You never come to talk to me in a romantic sense. It’s always in a platonic way. You talk about your friends and how I’m doing. It’s never about how we’re doing together.”

I pursed my lips, trying to think of something to say. “I don’t want to come off too strong.” I’d hoped the explanation would be enough to satisfy him. “From what I’ve seen, you have enough of that.” I’d definitely seen a lot.

Ashton looked unconvinced. He shook his head lightly at me. He knew I was lying. “Winter, it’s okay if you don’t… have feelings for me.”

My eyes widened. What the hell was going on.

Ashton glanced at me for a moment before continuing. “I… I notice the way you talk about Cody; how much you enjoy being around him… How worried you were when you thought he was angry with you,” he added, referring to the conversation we’d had a few days before the service project.

This couldn’t get any worse.

“Is there a chance you’re here for the wrong prince?”

My heart dropped in my chest. This had definitely become worse.

Ashton and I stared at each other for a few moments in utter silence. I didn’t know the right way to respond to his previous question. I didn’t think there was one.

“Cody kissed me,” I blurted. I’d decided on the truth.

Ashton closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. “Okay,” he said slowly. He didn’t look surprised. He looked as if he’d expected this and was just waiting for when it would actually happen. I couldn’t decide whether to find this reassuring or unnerving. “How did… How did you feel about that,” he asked a bit awkwardly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Why?”

“Because I want you to be happy, Winter. And I want him to be happy.”

I burst into tears at his words. “I don’t… I don’t know what to do.” Cody had broken off any chances of us being together. I really wish he hadn’t.

Ashton tugged me to his chest and into a tight hug. “I’ll keep you here, Winter. Even if you don’t want to be with me.”

I sobbed into his chest. I felt selfish for all of this. I shouldn’t have stayed this long, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. “I’m so, sorry.” I was. I really was.

“It’s okay. You’re okay,” he cooed softly as he stroked my hair with one hand.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen. You didn’t deserve this,” I murmured. I felt like a terrible person.

Ashton pushed away from me a bit to wipe my tears away. “I’m fine, Win.” He offered me a small smile.

I was shocked by his reactions. It was okay if he was never really had feelings for me, but I thought he might be at least a little upset with me. I had committed treason. He had every reason to hate me.

“How long have you… How long have you suspected… Or known.”

Ashton bit his lip, as if he’d expected this question. “A while. I saw you guys together recently. You were just talking… But that’s when I knew.”

He was probably referring to the time I’d talked to Cody by the stairs. I was stupid to assume that no one had seen us. We weren’t exactly making out or anything, but I knew I shouldn’t have been with him.

“Does Cody know all of this,” I questioned. A part of me hoped that he didn’t. It would mean that he knew that Ashton was okay with this, but didn’t care.

“No. You need to talk to him, Win.”

“I know. I’m just… Scared.” I sighed.

Ashton smiled at me knowingly. “It’s just like talking to him normally.”

“There’s no normal when taking to him,” I snorted. Ashton chuckled. “What if he thinks it was a mistake?”

Ashton’s expression turned grim. “You know he won’t. It’ll all be okay, Winter.” I really hoped it would. “Do you want to stay? For Cody?”

I raised my eyes to Ashton’s. “Yes,” I breathed with no hesitation. If Ashton was okay with this, then there was nothing truly standing in our way. Sure, there would be judgement. But that could be ignored. “Does this really not bother you at all?”

He looked unsure for a moment as he thought of what to answer. “A little. It’s not fun having someone choose your brother over you… I also want really feeling it between us.”

I was neither surprised nor hurt by his words. In fact, they were reassuring. It was relieving to know that no one was actually getting hurt by all of this. “Why’d you keep me here so long.”

“Because I thought I was wrong. But it was a little hard to notice. You guys just… Light up around each other. Cody is more… Normal around you.”

I didn’t believe that for a second. Cody was always strange. Even with me. But I liked it.

Ashton placed his hand on my shoulder. “Why are you still here talking to me. Go get him. Get you’re real Prince Charming,” he winked.

I nodded. I didn’t know how I was going to find Cody and talk to him. But I’d find a way.

I started to make my way back to the palace entrance. “Hey, Winter,” Ashton called and I turned my head towards him. “Thank you.”

“For what,” I questioned.

“For making him happy.”

I blushed. I knew I did. The heat in my cheeks was enough to tell me so. “Good bye, Ashton.”

Those words held a lot of meaning. By saying them, I was leaving my facade, my possible life as queen, Ashton, my secrets… It was all gone in those first two words.

And I didn’t regret it. Not for a second.

[codyschreave]

In the Aftermath (Cody pov)

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, pulling away from her.

I shook my head. How could I be so stupid? How could I let my emotions get the better of my judgement. This whole situation could have been avoided.

I heard someone clear their throat from farther down the hallway. I quickly glanced and saw Yanely and Gracebella standing there, staring at us. They seemed shocked, as though they couldn’t believe what I’d just done. Well they could join the club; I didn’t believe it either.

Gracebella quickly got over her shock and suddenly became angry. “You idiot,” she yelled. “Seriously? A hallway? Use your brain!”

I cringed. She was only stating what I already knew. This was completely stupid, and entirely avoidable. I don’t even know what came over me. I just couldn’t stand seeing Winter with Ashton for another second. But I shouldn’t have let my feelings dictate my actions. I don’t know why I couldn’t just let things be, and stand on the sidelines like I always have.

“Why the hell would you do that? She could be killed!” Gracebella continued. I had a hard time looking her in the eye, she was so forceful. And correct. Winter could be killed for this. God, how could I be so selfish?

“Gracey,” Winter exclaimed, trying to get her to lower her voice. She was more at risk of creating a scene than we had. And I really didn’t want anyone else coming out to see what was going on. This whole thing was bad enough as it was.

Gracebella looked as if she was about to say more before Yanely put her hand on her shoulder. Yanely and Gracebella seemed to have a silent conversation, before Yanely turned her gaze over to Winter and me. She looked at us briefly and smirked. “Let’s leave them alone, Gracey. They should… Talk.”

Gracebella glanced at us wearily before nodding and following her back to the party. Before she stepped in the room, she said “be safe.”

Winter and I watched them go back inside, hopefully not to announce to everyone what I’d done.

I cleared my throat, knowing I should say something, though I didn’t know what. Just as Winter turned to face me, I looked down at the ground, unable to meet her gaze. I knew I couldn’t face her just yet. I didn’t know what to say or do around her anymore. I just… cared for her so much, but I couldn’t say it. Not without ruining everything, and possibly sentencing her to death. I sighed. “I’m sorry,” I finally said, just above a whisper.

“I know.” Winter tried to make eye contact with me, but I looked away. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. “She’s right. I shouldn’t have done that. It was a mistake–”

I could still feel Winter’s gaze on me, but I still couldn’t face her.

“–it was a spur of the moment,” I continued. “Uh… My bad.” I knew I probably sounded pathetic, but I honestly didn’t know what else to do, or say. I should just tell her that I didn’t, nor would I ever, love her. That way she would forget about me and maybe try to work things out with Ashton. Or she could leave the palace and have a wonderful life in the provinces. But I couldn’t lie to her. Winter grabbed my hand. “Cody… I–”

“I want you safe,” I interrupted, worried about what she was going to say next. I finally met her eyes once more, trying to plead with her to not finish that sentence. To never finish that sentence. “I need you safe.”

Winter opened her mouth, as though she wanted to say something, but then closed it again. Evidently she didn’t know what to say either. It looked like tears were beginning to form in her eyes, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay much longer. Those tears would be the death of me—and, subsequently—her.

“Gracebella is right. You could be killed,” I explained. Rationalizing everything out was the only thing I knew to do at the moment. “You’re not supposed to be with me. You came for my brother.” The words were hard to get out, but I had to say them. “I refuse to take away your chance of happiness. I’m sorry, Winter,” I whispered, slowly pulling away from her. “I’m so, so sorry.”

I walked away from her, which was one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But I knew if I stayed another second, I would see the tears in her eyes and I would lose any restraint I had left. And that restraint was the only thing keeping her alive right now.

The next day, Gracebella found me on a bench in a quiet corridor, reading over some incident reports from my last meeting with Ashton and the royal advisors. “What the actual fuck, Cody!? How in the hell could you fucking kiss Winter?” She yelled.

I cringed at her crude language, and the harsh tone in her voice.

“Umm… I’m sorry?” I didn’t quite know how to respond to her anger.

“Sorry? Just ughs! She’s not here for you she’s here for your brother and going for her may turn out okay for you, but what about her she could be executed for that, you fucking moron!”

I sighed. I knew this conversation was going to come, I’d just hoped it wouldn’t be so soon. I was still emotionally raw from the night before and didn’t know exactly what my plan was for how to respond to questions like these.

“Yeah. I know I shouldn’t have done it. I already know it’s wrong and… it won’t happen again. I’ll do whatever I can just to make sure Winter’s safe… And happy, I suppose, too…” I knew Gracebella was concerned for her friend, and she had a right to be, but I just really wanted her to understand that we were on the same side. She and I both knew the dangers of Winter and I being together, and we both knew it had to come to an end.

Gracebella rolled her eyes at me. “God you’re such a dummy, okay you little nut, I’m not telling you to stop what you’re doing emotionally, it’s good that you’re friends and if she really does like you, which she seems to, you should try to like her back, just don’t be a dumbass and kiss her, plan these things more, or at least try to.”

Well now I was thrown for a loop. How could she say that she wanted to keep Winter safe, but that it was okay for me to like her? Didn’t she understand that me having feelings for Winter would only ever lead to more happening? I didn’t understand her logic. And it wasn’t like I knew that Yanely and Gracebella were watching when I kissed Winter.

“I do care about Winter. I don’t want to see her get hurt. I just want what’s best for her, and I don’t know if that’s me,” I explained honestly.

“What’s best for her will be who can love her, as much as there are strong and very good points against it if you did try to date her, I think happiness and love always outweighs the negatives. Cody, I don’t know much of you but from what I’ve heard you don’t seem like a bad person, I think I could trust you to not hurt Winter, so I think you should try to trust yourself a little more. She likes you, if you like her just let it be simple, of course not too simple since you’d have to hide it until after the Selection, but once this passes there will be nothing sad or that could hurt winter in loving you.”

She still didn’t understand. It would never be this simple. If the public found out about us, even after the Selection, they would realize that all of this had started during the Selection, then they’d question the validity of the Selection and everything would be ruined. No, I could never be with Winter, regardless of how we felt. I’d been in politics long enough to know that. Gracebella did not.

I started to avoid meals. I didn’t want to go into the dining room and see my brother, who must know something was going on with me. He hadn’t talked to me about any of it yet, but I just knew he would figure something out soon, and then where would he be? Best case scenario, he’d send Winter home. Worst case: he’d have her executed for treason.

I was also avoiding Gracebella. I was worried that she’d try to talk to me about Winter again. I still couldn’t decide if she wanted me to be with Winter or not. She seemed to think that if I really loved Winter, we could be together and everything would be happy and wonderful. She didn’t seem to understand that Winter and I could never be together without some sort of public uprising. And I couldn’t stand to face Gracebella again, knowing that she would try to convince me to be with Winter.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to skip every meal, since I was the prince and all. I made an unofficial arrangement with myself that I would go to one meal a day, in order to keep appearances up. But every day I chose a different meal to attend, so people wouldn’t start to expect when I’d be there.

Winter didn’t come to any meal that I attended, and I didn’t know if I just happened to miss her with each randomly selected meal, or if she just wasn’t coming at all.

I watched her chair when I attended meals, imagining her sitting there. Smiling. Laughing with her friends. Then I would picture Ashton’s face when he found out about us and I had to shake my head to clear any thoughts of Winter. I just had to forget about her, that’s all there was to it.

One day as I was leaving the dining room to go back to my study, Lady Piper intercepted me. She wanted to talk about Winter. Evidently, she hadn’t heard about the kiss, but she was overjoyed at the thought that we were friends. I had a hard time talking to her for too long about my “friendship” with Winter.

Lady Piper seemed to sense my hesitation, and changed the subject to my brother, which was slightly more comfortable to talk about. It was a bit strange talking about my brother’s love life, but at least it was safer than talking about my own.

We parted as friends, and I found myself wishing I had taken the time to get to know the other girls of the Selection a bit better. If they were all like Piper, then I could have had a lot more friends to talk to, which wasn’t such a bad thing.

A few days later, Cillia found me and started talking to me about “Windy”. I groaned, not only because of the bad pun, but that she also wanted to talk to me about Winter. Why couldn’t everyone just leave me alone about it? Why couldn’t they just let me forget her and save her life!

“Part of the reason that everyone is trying to talk to you about this is that we don’t really agree with you that she’ll get hurt by being with you… Like she really likes you, and this whole thing with Windy started before… you know… you kissed her… We just don’t quite get why you’re saying that because it’s obvious that you’re probably hurting her more like this.”

I brushed my hand through my hair. Hurting Winter was the last thing I wanted to be doing, but… “ITS TREASON! She could be executed because of what I did! And if we continued, if the public found out? They would hate her! I can’t do that to her, I just can’t! I… really like her… I care about her. I care too much to let her throw her life away for this. I’ve seen what the media and the public opinion can do to a person’s image, and I don’t want that for her. I just want her to be happy… and be safe…”

It was the same argument I’d been giving everyone else, including myself. Nobody seemed to be happy with it, least of all me. Everyone seemed to think that it would all be fine, that nobody would get hurt, nobody would care. But I know they would. I’ve been dealing with the public and the press my whole life, these girls had only been here a few months! What did they know about all this? Nothing!

“You know she’d be happy with you…. She wouldn’t care about any of that, she doesn’t I don’t think. And I know that you would never let anything happen to her, she’d always be safe with you” Cillia responded.

Again, she just didn’t get it. It wasn’t about me keeping her safe, there was nothing I could do! The public would hate her for being with me, and there was nothing I could do to change people’s opinions.

Cillia sensed my hesitation and continued. “Have other girls been giving you a hard time about this whole thing? I know that a bunch of us are really protective of Winter and we all want the best for her, but some of the others are very vocal about their protectiveness.”

I sighed. “Not a hard time, really, they just all want me to make a decision. I can’t just decide something this huge so fast. I need time to think!”

“Yeah, I totally understand, not completely sure about the others though, they are very intense…. But I do kind of see what they mean, if you’re not ready to actually decide anything at least talk to Winter about that, don’t just leave her hanging without any explanations.”

I knew that. And I’d been avoiding talking to Winter about it because I knew if I saw her face I would take back every apology I’d ever said to her and begged her to stay with me. And I couldn’t do that to her. I needed to figure out what was best for her before I could even think about going to actually see her. I also didn’t know what Winter was thinking about this now…

“I just don’t know what she thinks of the whole thing. And I’m not sure what I want her to think. I don’t know if I’d rather her say that she wants to be with me, which is dangerous, or that it was a mistake and treason, which would be… true, but hard to hear…” I explained.

Cillia put a comforting hand on my shoulder. “I mean, I don’t know what she’d say to you, but I’m sure that you can work something out.”

I smiled and thanked her, then turned and walked away.

I knew I couldn’t avoid any of the awkward conversations anymore, and I’d have to figure this all out. I just had to decide whether to talk to Ashton first or Winter.

My choice was made for me, as Ashton turned the corner and bumped right into me.

“Cody! There you are. I need to talk to you,” he said.

I opened my mouth trying to figure out what to say. I’d meant to plan this all out first, have a speech ready. I was completely unprepared.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” I asked, trying not to let my anxiety show.

Ashton smiled. “I want to talk to you about Winter.”

[codyschreave]

(Speaking as Alex here not Cody...) I have to take a little break from tumblr while I'm moving into my apartment and starting classes and stuff. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep, I'm exhausted, and I'm just super busy. I'll be back up and running in another week and a half or so, but until then, I won't be able to rp or do any messaging. If you want to include Cody in any of your stories, go ahead. Don't worry about rp--one it first. Sorry!

[ashtonschreave-blog]

Selection OC Challenge 2 Eliminations

This round has been super interesting to watch, and really showed how invested some people are in this Selection. Unfortunately, there do have to be some eliminations. The girls eliminated this round are as follows: 

Autumn Amor

Sapphira Dior

Parker Jacobs

Arielle Westbrook

Francesca Moretti

Daisy Rivera

It’s been a pleasure getting to know you girls, and it’s sad to see you go. The next challenge will be posted as soon as possible. 

[codyschreave]

Hey everyone! I just made this blog to help out my brother with his Selection. I can’t wait to get to know all the Selected and help Ashton out wherever I can!