@coffeeandhermind - Tumblr Blog

Feeling guilty just because i miss him

Missing this kiddo, found him at a dog park. I caught him watching me from far and approached me when i was alone. I feel like we're similar, both introvert and quite reserved :')

#dogs

To keep you looking at me

Hush, when no one is around, my dear.. you'll find me in my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my high heels, love..

someday

#taylor swift #mirrorball #Spotify

ingyd4r

why do talking stages and situationships exist can we just skip to drinking coffee with our cats on the quiet morning of our five year wedding anniversary with the beatles playing softly from another room????

femmefatalevibe

Do you have or can you link me any tips on how to be more flirty with the guys/gals without getting attached? I fall in love way to quickly but love the spontaneity amd rush that comes with courting/being courted, so it's a tough dilemma to be in 😭

Hi love! Enjoying feelings of lust, passion, and generally being desired are totally normal. Here are some of my tips/perspective shifts to keep in mind:

Understand attraction is a primal urge, but not a rational emotional nor often sustainable long-term. Recognize the difference between falling in love with a concept and another whole human being. This idealized connection can be strong and instant but is shallow and designed for immediate gratification. A genuine emotional connection between two people takes time and effort towards understanding each other to cultivate.

Be quick to discern between your fantasies and the reality of the relationship. Acknowledge and validate all of the fantasies you have playing in your mind about the future and exciting moments you envision yourself having with this person in your mind – all of the fun date nights, romantic gestures, steamy passionate sex, engaging & heart-warming conversations, exciting adventures, etc. Give yourself to freedom to dream and idealize these experiences. However, it is important to stay grounded and compartmentalize these fantasies from the reality in front of you. Embrace the IRL interactions one at a time as they unfold into your life. Think of just the next text you will send or the current date night, hookup, conversation, etc., you will have with this person. Let yourself feel excited about it. But live in the moment. Not the future or projections from the past – the present.

Reframe flirting and courting interactions as a self-discovery activity. Try to perceive your interactions with your suitor from an outside lens – like a friend is showing your text messages or sharing a story about a potential/new lover they're speaking to. Observe how different conversations, praises, banter, flirting, and discussions on your life values/daily activities/history/dealbreakers, and desired future make you feel and how these emotions influence how you interact with the other person. See what conversations/responses light up inside. Discern which interactions make you feel safe, happy, optimistic, and seductive, or uneasy, embarrassed, shy, and insecure. Use these initial interactions as a gut check to better understand your personal green/red flags.

Consider these interactions like icebreakers. Enjoy the conversations and all aspects of getting to know someone. Think of all these interactions as a series of "firsts" with a new person. Understand this experience is an introduction – not a sign of commitment, to another person.

See the courting stage for what it is: A trial run that can equally be a fun, interactive game and a cautionary life lesson to help guide you through future life stages/relationships. Embrace the seduction stage like a dance. There are some skills you can learn, inevitable missteps and improv moves you will encounter on the way. But, ultimately, you will find your footing and either find a mutual chemistry or give yourself permission to leave the interaction when your energy runs out and your time together comes to its natural end.

Hope this helps xx

sugarsprinklesoul

There are three rules:

1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.

3. If you do not step forward, you will remain in the same place.

the-joy-of-knowledge

Becoming an Intelligent Woman

My Dears,

There is no greater goal than being a fine woman who is intelligent, kind, and elegant. As much as we all want to be described with these adjectives, it takes a great amount of discipline to get there. It is very doable only if you are ready to put in the work.

Here are steps you can add to your routine in the next 4 weeks that will make you 1% more intelligent than you were before. This is a process that should become a habit not a goal. It is long term, however, I want you to devote just 4 weeks into doing these steps first and recognize the changes that follow.

Watch documentaries: This is the easiest step, we all have access to Youtube. Youtube has a great number of content on art, history, technology, food, science etc that will increase your knowledge and pique your curiosity. I really did not know much about world history especially from the perspective of World war 1 & 2, the roaring 20s, Age of Enlightenment, Jazz era, monarchies etc but with several channels dedicated to breaking down history into easily digestible forms. I have in the last 4 weeks immersed myself into these documentaries. Here are a few I watched:

The fall of monarchies

The Entire History of United Kingdom

The Eight Ages of Greece

World War 1

World War 2

The Roaring '20s

The Cuisine of the Enlightenment

2. Read Classics: I recommend starting with short classics so that you do not get easily discouraged. Try to make reading easy and interesting especially if you struggle with finishing a book. Why classics? You see, if you never went to an exclusive private school in Europe or America with well crafted syllabus that emphasized philosophy, history, art, and literary classics, you might want to know what is felt like and for me this was a strong reason. Asides that, there is so much wisdom and knowledge available in these books. In these books, you gain insights to the authors mind, the historical context of the era, the ingenuity of the author, the hidden messages, and the cultural impact of these books. Most importantly, you develop your personal philosophy from the stories and lessons you have accumulated from the lives of the characters in the books you read. Here are classics to get you started:

Animal Farm by George Orwell

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald

Candide by Voltaire

Paradise lost by John Milton

3. Study the lives of people who inspire you: I dedicate one month to each person that fascinates me. I read their biography (date of birth, background, death, influences, work, style, education, personal life) For this month, I decided to study Frank Lloyd Wright because I was fascinated by the Guggenheim Museum in New York. I began to read about his influence in American Architecture (Organic architecture, Prairie School, Usonian style), his tumultuous personal life, his difficult relationship with his mentor (Louis Sullivan), his most iconic works etc. By the end of the year I would have learned the ins and outs of people I am inspired by through books and documentaries. Here are other people I plan to learn more about:

Winston Churchill

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

Ada Lovelace

Benjamin Franklin

Helen Keller

John Nash

Isabella Stewart Gardner

Caroline Herrera

Ernest Hemingway

Catherine the Great

Ann Lowe

My dears, I hope you enjoyed this read. I cannot wait to write more on my journey to becoming a fine woman. I urge you to do this for four weeks and see what changes you notice. Make sure to write as well, it is important to document your progress.

Cheers to a very prosperous 2024!

#christmas #dessert

malusokay

10 tips for casual elegance ⋆｡𖦹 °✩

Reading. Reading. Reading. Being well-read is so valuable!! Get cosy, pick up a Jane Austen, Emily Brontë, or maybe a Charles Dickens and spend some of your free time indulging in literature. <3

Soft-spoken and kind expressions. No one likes being around rude people. Being a bitch doesn’t make you look confident. Instead, be kind, make conversation, pay attention, engage, etc… trust me.

Dainty jewellery. Find some high-quality signature pieces.

Think before you speak. Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts so you can speak confidently and with intent without stumbling over your words!! <3

Quality over quantity. Stop buying large amounts of cheap clothing; instead, save up and invest in higher-quality pieces that will actually last you. :)

Practice your handwriting. Having pretty and neat handwriting is a lovely little detail; extra points if you write in cursive. ;)

Drop the slang words. Bro, cap, sus, drip, rizz, mid… just stop, please.

Keep to yourself. Small circle, no bragging, gossips only with the closest, keep your plans to yourself.

Watch your posture. Straighten that back, honey. I see you. :))

Manicured nails. I do mine every two weeks. Almond-shaped, always dark red. <3

As always, Please feel free to add your own suggestions and tips in the comments!! ♡ ₊ ⊹

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

jessicaherrerawrites

In a world of dishonest answers to “how are you?”, of emotions we don’t put names to because we’re afraid of what it could mean, of struggling to express our feelings to the ones we love most, of downplaying our negative experiences because we believe it’s not that bad - I hope you find the courage to be honest with yourself. I know how scary it is to hold your feelings close and look them in the eye, but a heart cannot heal without the confrontation of pain.