Calliope

In flux

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[inevitable-destruction]

"In order to know your enemy, you must become your enemy."

[molabuddy]

i Really love when two characters are really quite similar but in such a way that they just hate eachother onsight.. dog barking at a mirror type beef

[coffeecatcalliope]

nothing remotely fun when it's me and my dad

[viejito-at-heart]

everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.

[viejito-at-heart]

No one will see this, probably, but I feel like I should put this out into the world anyway.

The sheer amount of support this post got genuinely means so, so much to me at this specific moment in my life. People providing comfort, people sharing their own experiences with ADHD and their own personal metaphorical interpretations of it; even the people just offhandedly chiming in with tags like "me" and "adhd mood" and what have you have validated me in a very meaningful way.

I was always considered a pretty bright kid. I got amazing grades throughout most of my childhood, and loved science. I always had my nose in a book, sometimes so frequently that I would get in trouble with my teachers for reading instead of working on my (finished) assignments. I even ended up in my county's tiny program for "gifted" kids after a while of my smartass consistently getting into the same argument with my school.

So, around middle school, when my performance in school began to falter for no real explicable reason, the possibility of ADHD flew completely under the radar. Even I, for most of my life, pictured a child with ADHD as someone who was overtly hyperactive, who wasn't motivated by school or academic subjects in the slightest, who failed every single class and struggled with rules, authority, directions. The complete opposite of myself. I've always been a huge nerd—I wanted to do good in school. And I always sat still and followed directions to the best of my ability. So, why couldn't I just do what I was supposed to, even when I really wanted to?

Why couldn't I just open up my computer and turn in my work?

The only answer that even kind of fit this nebulous presentation was laziness. It was simply a willpower issue. I had potential, but I wasn't utilizing it. I just wasn't trying hard enough—I just needed to sit myself down in front of the computer and get started. That was the burden I carried from then until my freshman year of community college(!!!); even when I finally figured out the struggles I was experiencing in school lined up with the textbook ADHD symptoms of executive dysfunction and task paralysis, it took forever to convince my parents, my teachers, and even myself that this wasn't just a matter of me not being motivated enough to do better for myself.

So, even though my therapist basically told me, during one of our sessions, "Holy shit, you haven't been medicated this whole time? No wonder you're struggling so much!" it's still hard at times to shoo away the internal dialogue of "it's your fault" and "you could be doing more" and "this isn't ADHD, ADHD looks like x, you're just lazy" when these were the best assumptions I was working with for a very, very long time until very, very recently.

So having a random vent post I made about these difficulties I'm struggling with resonate with so many ADHDers on this webbed site has really, really validated my personal struggles with the disorder. Seeing the notes skyrocket over the past few months felt like a ginormous truth-slap of "YOU'RE NOT ALONE" right across my face, lol.

Thank you very much, Tumblr, for "lol mood"-ing your merry way into my ADHD diagnosis journey.

[esarity11]

how daniel molloy feels after trying to conduct an accurate interview about vampires, but his subjects are louis de pointe du lack of information, lestat de lyingcourt, armanipulator, and claudead.

[kermitismyfriend]

emily <3

[coffeecatcalliope]

my angel

[vronoch]

armand study, still trying to figure out digital painting

[bardace]

Shut Up, I Don’t Care

[coffeecatcalliope]

fuck :)

[dykespeare-deactivated20181228]

reblog if ur mom is smart and beautiful

[confident-fear]

This is one of my favorite sites on here because everyone who reblogged it truly believes it because their moms won’t actually see it

[lleyksie]

more ancient horse mamaposting

[pavelsmerdyakov]

👋

[coffeecatcalliope]

he's sooooooooo 🥵

[mercyhit]

Okay so I tried to categorize in a way that might interest you also because I think it's funny. No pressure to listen to any of them this was just for fun! Each category is in order of fave to least fave

Songs I think DLID era 1975 would be obsessed with if it came out in their time and maybe would have tried to cover in their pop punk style:

Trinidad (live from SNL is best) - Geese

Cowboy nudes - geese

Songs I think would bring Matty Healy to Tears for various reasons:

Au Pays du Cocaine* - geese

If you turn back now (unreleased song on YouTube) - Cameron Winter

Drinking age - Cameron Winter

The rolling stones ( I really think this song would remind him of who he was at 23 and he would empathize as fuck) - Cameron Winter

Half real - Geese

nina + Field of cops (religious experience through music) - Cameron Winter

$0 (it would remind him a little too much of addiction and I don't think he'd listen to it that often) - Cameron Winter

Cobras (happy tears ☺️) - Geese

Songs I think Matty is pissed that he didn't didn't write because they're brilliant:

Nausicaa  - Cameron Winter

2122 - Geese

Anyway cheers 🫶

-Xstarkillerx

HAHA i absolutely ADORE the way you categorized this. trying to get me into another band by referencing my favorite band? genius move on your part. i'll start working through the list!

[coffeecatcalliope]

no cap

[coffeecatcalliope]

Today marks one year to the day of the most traumatic incident of my adult life. The after effects of the event continued up to December last year so I could never quite process it. I had a nightmare about it two days back. I can't talk about it. It's too much to talk about. I can't think of it. It's all too much. Too overwhelming. Too painful.

I have certainly survived worse things as a child. But somehow, even after that, this time it's harder to process. Maybe because as a child, I didn't know any other reality. I didn't realise the intensity of what was happening to me. Now I do. And I don't know what to do about it.

[metamorphesque]

poems for the man who painted flowers in wartime

The Dream of a Curious Man, Charles Baudelaire

Tired, Langston Hughes

Threads of Life, W. B. Yeats

The Way The Light Reflects, Richard Siken

When I Have Fears, John Keats

Tear It Down, Jack Gilbert

A Center, Ha Jin

To the One Who is Reading Me, Jorge Luis Borges

Longing (karot) and Waiting, Hovhannes Grigoryan (translated by Tathev Simonyan)

I Belong There, Mahmoud Darwish

The Gardener 85, Rabindranath Tagore

Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower, Rainer Maria Rilke

Wait For Me, Konstantin Simonov (tr. by Mike Munford)

I flounder, Mesrop Mashtots (translated by Diana Der-Hovanessian)

RÉVEILLÉ, Ronald Lewis Carton

“Hope” is the thing with feathers, Emily Dickinson

For the New Year 1981, Denise Levertov

A Vote For the Gentle Light, Charles Bukowski

There Are Birds Here, Jamaal May

Good Bones, Maggie Smith

Hope, Czeslaw Milosz

Though there are torturers, Michael Coady

Goodbye to Tolerance, Denise Levertov

Perhaps the World Ends Here. Joy Harjo

From the River to the Sea, Samer Abu Hawwash (translated by Huda Fakhreddine)

Book of Lamentations: Conversations with God, from the depth of my heart, Grigor Narekatsi

[rinsonlineaccount]

angel princess babygirl guitar hero

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

People will be so mean to teenagers do you literally not remember what it was like to be sixteen. Every time I talk to a teenager I feel I should hold their hands and tell them I think they're one of the bravest people on the planet just for choosing to endure but I don't because I don't want to be creepy.

[coffeecatcalliope]

"I'm sorry if you're living and you're seventeen." :')