if we're clever and brave, we can have it all.

they/he • 20s • leftist

[vampiredoriangray]

❝dear shadow alive and well, how can the body die?❞

❦︎ bee

❦︎ they/he

❦︎ see also: cavebees & pistolwaltz

❦︎ pfp by kaetor

❦︎ dorian gray-core wizard freak actor and poet

❦︎ current interests: theatre + theatre history, oscar wilde, dimension 20, shakespeare, classic lit (gothic, victorian, absurdist), star trek (ds9 + ng), music (primarily indie, rock, and jazz), critical role, worlds beyond number, ace attorney, los campesinos!, persona + metaphor refantazio, gachiakuta, and witch hat atelier

[cheaphalloweencostume]

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[wizardarchetypes]

today i rang up a customer at work for $13.36 and i said with such genuine cheer "uh-oh! two years before the plague hit England, if anyone cares!" and i watched the customer's eyes as they were clearly taken aback and then tried to pretend to be interested at all. they made such a valiant effort. they were like I don't wanna damper this guy's plague enthusiasm. They said, very awkwardly, "haha, uh-oh!"

[wizardarchetypes]

the simplicity of lactase supplements is so funny to me. it costs like $4 to circumvent evolutionary biology. want to eat dairy but your body doesn’t produce the enzyme necessary to digest lactose? the devs haven’t patched that yet but you can download a mod

[vampiredoriangray]

just started bury your gays. IDLES mention

[vampiredoriangray]

they have to invent a way to say you don’t like sweet things without sounding like you’re super into diet culture. I don’t like sugar but i Am housing an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips

[fairycosmos]

the miserable bitch industry would crumble without me

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[junewild]

i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them

[changelingcoded]

does anyone else have parents who suck in objectively funny ways

[praziluk]

sweatpants and tanktop is the lingerie of the proletariat

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

[ceruleanheaven]

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin