The Drunk History Of Fall Out Boy
Alright its the summer of 2001; weird turtle noise Joe meets Patrick and heās likeĀ āYo, I know about music.āĀ
and Patrickās likeĀ āYo, I know more about music.āĀ
āthatās impossible! Do you want to start a band?āĀ
and Patrickās like shakes head and mouths noĀ āā¦Yeah⦠Thatās cool,ā and then hes likeĀ āYo, this is a book store, its not a music store!āĀ
And then they met at Patrickās house. So PatrickāsĀ wearing shorts and socks and a hat.Ā . Patrick is playinā drums for some fuckinā reason! And Peteās there for some reason!Ā They start playinā music together.Ā And theyāre like āOh, letās play some fuckinā covers from some other bands!ā It was like, Green Day and fuckinā Misfits and fuckinā Ramones!
Pete said to Joe, āYo, we gotta change this shit up! weird bred laugh also calf in backgroundĀ Ā Yo, weāve played all these bands; letās play shit from Fall Out Boy.āAnd so Pete and Patrick are like āYo, thatās dope.ā
āBut we need a fuckinā drummer!ā Because Patrickās playinā drums and heās a singer!
Patrickās like āYo! I got a soul voice!ā
And theyāre like āWait, how do you have a soul voice?ā
And heās like āYo, watch this: YEAH!ā
And theyāre like āOh my god! That sounds like soul!ā So they put it in the song and it was like
āWHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIGHT!ā laughĀ
And then theyāre like: āYo, thatās fuckinā perfect. This is Fall Out Boy.ā And they made records like, Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it.
[Pete] āits called evening out with your girlfriend.ā [Brendon ignores Pete] with your_ ex_-girlfriend!? Itās called Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend! Itās called Eating Out Your Girlfriend, and itās real and it doesnāt matter.
And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like āYo, what the FUCK! Yo, this is gonna be fuckinā DOPE!ā
So they made a record, and it was called: Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in.
The four drummers they had come in were like: Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto⦠The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something. And they were like, āYo, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This To Your Grave. Fuckinā record it.ā And he did it, and he killed it. He was like, _Bigadigadigalalululapssshhhh!Ā Killing the skins! Tapping the skins! Tapping the rims! Playing the shit! Killing these bitches! Wrapping it out!
_[Brendon to Pete] (Youāre getting a fucking tattoo right now! What the fuck is going on?!)
āWe should get signed, to Fueled by Ramen. āCause these guys know what the fuck is going on.ā
And they were like āYo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckinā hard, we will sign you guys.ā
Pete was like āYo! We got this record thatās fuckinā dope, dude! Itās called Take This To Your Grave.ā Hey, itās gonna be called From Under The Cork Tree, itās gonna be fuckinā huge.
And then Patrickās like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and itās called _burp_, this is called: Thnks fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar Weāre Goin Down.ā
And they made this record that was fucking dope and it fucking hit on the charts. Like: one, two, three! Three, two one! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! TEN TO ONE!
From Under The Cork Tree sold like, four million records! Ten million records! Fifteen million records!
And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record.
And Patrick was like āThatās GOOD!ā
Pete was like āYo, fuck you! I can do whatever I want!ā
Joe was like āYeah, itās cool man, whatever⦠I donāt give a shit.ā And thenĀ
Andy was like āEh⦠Cool!ā
And Pete was like "Makeup is fuckinā great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everybody thinks that guys are beautiful.ā
(spit spit -im good so far -you wanna spit one more time?Ā -yeah, i do spit spit ā¦Shut the fuckā¦)
Pete was like āOh my god, Iām so embarrassed about this dick pic!ā And then I saw the dick pic, and I was like
āEh, itās not bad. Itās not a bad dick. Letās be real.ā
We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were _so pissed!Ā _They were like āYo, fuck you guys!ā They were like āYo! Panic has the fucking cover of Rolling Stone? Yo, fuck these dudes! Weāre gonna fucking go miles above! Weāre gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!ā
But they didnāt! Because they missed a second of time. makes movement with hands Apparently, they were like: āOh, shit we got every continent.ā And they didnāt actually hit it.
Dude, Pete was like āWhat the FUCK?ā
Oh, you didnāt fuckinā make the continent. Itās like, fuck you!
So From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckinā have three, four years of awesomeness! Like people are cumming on themselves, 'cause itās so big!Ā
[Joe] take a drink then like talk about how they made tow records- pores drink on head there you go alright made tow rec-Ā
so fall out boy was like, so Patrickās likeĀ āYo, weāre gonna name this record From Under The Cork Tree and From Infinity On High.ā
Pete was like āYo, Folie Ć Deux means the Theatric of Two.āĀ
Fall Out Boy was like āYo, we gotta take a breakāĀ
Meaning, Pete was like āYo, we gotta take a break broā
And Patrickās like, āI need time for my music! Uhhh!ā
And Joeās like āYo, I need time to find the fuckinā art dude, I gotta find some fuckinā meau-metal.ā
And Andyās like āIām just gonna play with some fuckinā metal bands.ā
And they were like, āAlright, this breaks been like three years long. Two years long. Three years long. Three and a half? We gotta fuckinā come back man. We gotta come back strong!ā
(-You took my beer away, what the fuck?!Ā -No, you poured it all over yourself!_ __-Yeah, you poured it on yourself, man. here.) _
āWe gotta make this shit legit. Itās gonna be fuckinā dope. Itās gonna go fuckinā sky high. Weāre gonna make a fuckinā record that sails the skies. Weāre gonna call this record: Save Rock and Roll.ā
So they made "Alone Togetherā, āLight 'Em Upā, āAlone Togetherā, āPhoenixā.
And everyoneās like āWhat the fuck? Youāre working with this guy who fuckinā recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk!ā
(-is this p- ā¦What the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on my self? -No, you poured beer all over yourself. - hay its ok. -Oh godā¦)
Pete was like: āYo, weāre gonna end up on the tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilots.ā laugh⦠burp, spitĀ
And thatās all. And thatās all that matters. And that is how the fucking story goes.