•madison•

[zootycoon-archive]

i want to be the opposite of an influencer i want to use sex appeal to discourage people from buying things

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

Karl Marx

[putoencelo]

[artisticlog-deactivated20231213]

This is a phenomena known as crown shyness ☘️✨🍃

[mango-thot-deactivated20190520]

Two trees, chilling in a forest, five inches apart cus they’re not gay

[woodmeat]

have you ever felt like you’re just not meant to be happy? reblog if you love Dr pepper

[partychance]

*walks into bar* *sits in a booth with ppl in it* dont yall love being cis? i love to be cis, its good. (whispering to small lizard under the table: what do cis people drink? milk? you said milk?) yall got milk at this bar?

[partychance]

[last-bi-in-town-deactivated2023]

[shitmygaywifesays]

So, trying out a new pet-name, I decided to call my wife “Vanilla Bean”– just giving it a go because vanilla is my favorite flavor and beans are cute and she’s my favorite and also cute. 

Now, apparently “Vanilla” is plain and boring and baby did not appreciate being called plain and boring, and so here is a list of the pet names she’s given me in last few minutes:

- My saltine cracker

- The concept of Kansas

- My dearest manila folder

- That beige color they paint offices

- Bleached white rice

- You blank word document, you

- My perfect suburbs Republican

- Tap water

[fuckyeahsubs]

[santeria-deactivated20170905]

[mo-nature-nerd-blog]

[this-is-me-irl]

[joshpeck]

this changed me as a person

[eternal-nova-deactivated2018011]

I’m in tears!

[lady-fett]

I just want to know how the writers of snl knew about my very specific sexual fantasy

[scullymosshart-deactivated20221]

my soul: saved 

[growlandpounce]

One of my favourites

[spooky-holtz]

the shot of a pizza roll dragging across bare skin fucking kills me

[shoelight]

cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you

me: yeah he was not very friendly

[tastefullyoffensive]

[goon]

[theshellshack]

[mordecai-put-your-phone-away]

when you have no idea what the fuck is going on in class anymore

[shencomix]