I‘ll be your android girl

And never get out again- WAIT TIL YOUR FRIENDS SEE THIS loud mean annoying autistic dyke. over 18. they/them unless i tell you summin else. the names oli/liv/olivia but you can call me 😎 anytime

[oliviawebsite]

i also wish we could all "just get along" but we have to actually do something about the material structures preventing that rather than waxing poetic about some vague sense of idealistic unity

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[apartmentstore]

my favourite post in the whole wide world

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

i don’t think i’m exaggerating when i say that the average height for women in the US would increase by at least an inch if teen girls were allowed to eat as much as teen boys are

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

and not to bring my own clocky bitch ass into this but if cis women weren’t so consistently starved their entire lives you’d see a lot more cis women with the kind of bodies that we currently associate closely with trans women. the amount that the standards of feminine presentation are culturally defined by malnutrition is crazy

[justgivemeabookplease]

Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.

Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)

But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.

And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?

And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.

Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.

[fitzchivalry]

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[orcboxer]

Things that work in fiction but not real life

torture getting reliable information out of people

knocking someone out to harmlessly incapacitate them for like an hour

jumping into water from staggering heights and surviving the fall completely intact

calling the police to deescalate a situation

rafting your way off a desert island

correctly profiling total strangers based on vibes

effectively operating every computer by typing and nothing else

ripping an IV out of your arm without consequences

heterosexual cowboy

[orcboxer]

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

[cuunos]

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

[wreegis]

there was an incident at work today

[vitabreva]

[achillesinhighheels]

Zendaya for Spider-Man: Brand New Day press in John Galliano ss97

[lunarblazes]

after a lifetime of hearing about aragorn but not reading the books or watching the movies, genuinely nothing could have prepared me for his actual introduction. the hobbits picked this man out of a dumpster. he is a textbook softspoken angst prince and he is covered in dirt and he probably smells so bad. he’s the coolest man alive and is so casual about it. his number one skill is Knowing Where They Are and his number two skill is Having A Horrible Destiny That Torments Him. tolkien got it in one i’m afraid aragorn son of arathorn you are the guy of all time

[blockbustervideos]

ALIEN (1979) dir. Ridley Scott

[dunsparcee]

I sneeze

[internetwes]

[hotlikeaspicymeatball]

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[wishbow]

Daria anniversary poster for Mondo - April 2024 - pam wishbow

[jewfrogs]

recently saw this screenshot in the wild and lost my mind because i knew it wasnt supposed to say girl. its ladykins. its get off the cross ladykins. i know this because ladykins is not something my brain could make up and i remember ladykins. and i was sincerely wondering if someone put in the work to censor ladykins for some inscrutable purposes but then i looked it up and

turns out that actually rupaul made the same tweet twice with 1 word changed 8 months apart. he meditated on this for 8 months and 5 days and the word ladykins came to him. i initially thought he copy pasted the first tweet but i dont think thats true anymore i dont think he was operating with any memory of the first tweet i think these words were always in him and will always be. second tweet did way worse by the way. the people did not respond to ladykins

[tall]

[capacity2]

I’m literally always saying this. U have to kill yourself to just look like some guy in a shirt