cokehead_zeroed

fics, fandom, coke zero addiction. AO3: cokehead_zeroed. 

[youcouldvebeentheone]

he is so important to me and genuinely does not get enough credit for what he has accomplished on and off the ice

- triple gold club

- stanley cup winning goal

- iihf 2005 juniors mvp

- 2016 world cup of hockey

- two time Olympic gold medalist

- top three in faceoff percentage in the last 20 years

- started an organization to help underprivileged kids see hockey games when he was 20

- SIX TIME SELKE WINNER

- hot wife

- also married to brad marchand

there’s probably more this is just off the top of my head

[mothrasmash-blog]

Literally a saint.

[youcouldvebeentheone]

i ‘accidentally’ ended up way too far down their tumblr tag and ao3 tag the other night and oopsy daisy this is a thing now

unfortunately I can’t be normal abt them and neither should you !

[hearts4fowls]

OHHHH FUVK THIS IS MY SHIT NO ONE TALK TO ME

[ultravioletlightwaves]

At first I thought that the Bruins acquired JJ Peterka simply because Marco Sturm wanted a little German boy of his very own and they are invested in keeping their coach happy.

Then I started to look into this guy (who has hitherto been essentially invisible to me as a result of playing in Buffalo and then Utah) and I got really distracted by his deranged obsession with white pants.

What is going on here?

[moondoggiestyle]

the much funnier bio is his from the NTDP. favorite movie Home Alone... and who made you watch it 100 times? his favorite team at that point WAS still the Bruins which is funny if you consider that this was from the same year as his other answers like he was just saying shit without a thought in the world. (tbf I probably wouldn't put much thought in and not remember my answers for this every time I'm asked but still funny) plus cookie monster as favorite ice cream is just so him

https://www.usahockeyntdp.com/roster_players/57264867?subseason=834920

see NOW we're cooking!! home alone? please. will had that boy wrapped around his finger 😭😭

but exactly... hockey hero is his brother (sobbing) and he was still loyal to the bruins because the sharks hadn't drafted john yet... now i'm very curious how often/when they have them fill out these little surveys because he changed his favorite musical artist too. as you said, just writing down whatever the fuck without a thought in the world. probably didn't know what to put for favorite movie and had to ask will what he was putting, then the next time he filled out the survey just panicked and wrote miracle. kept hawaii 5-0 though. that one stayed consistent. honestly that's one of the funniest answers here.

also look at that FACE!!

sorry had to go to look at will's answers and look at all these matches with leno - bruins, home alone, bbq chicken except will apparently spelled it with all caps and leno didn't. CRYING that will picked new girl as his favorite tv show 😭😭 imagine the fights over who got to pick what to watch.

and of course, baby will:

[moondoggiestyle]

@impatientlyscarletstructure okay you're right john was drafted in 2018. i was thinking he hadn't yet signed with them and should have said that, but then i checked his elite prospects page and realized by the 22-23 season he had actually already been traded to the predators.

anyway realized i'd only checked the 22-23 season of leno's bio, so out of curiosity i looked up what leno's said from 21-22 season to see if it was different and OH!

his favorite team WAS the sharks until they TRADED HIS BROTHER so he resorted back to the bruins?? also did he seriously put himself as his favorite nhl player surely he meant his brother 😂😭

again for comparison, here's will's from 21-22:

bruce springsteen??? i'm fascinated

[moondoggiestyle]

the much funnier bio is his from the NTDP. favorite movie Home Alone... and who made you watch it 100 times? his favorite team at that point WAS still the Bruins which is funny if you consider that this was from the same year as his other answers like he was just saying shit without a thought in the world. (tbf I probably wouldn't put much thought in and not remember my answers for this every time I'm asked but still funny) plus cookie monster as favorite ice cream is just so him

https://www.usahockeyntdp.com/roster_players/57264867?subseason=834920

see NOW we're cooking!! home alone? please. will had that boy wrapped around his finger 😭😭

but exactly... hockey hero is his brother (sobbing) and he was still loyal to the bruins because the sharks hadn't drafted john yet... now i'm very curious how often/when they have them fill out these little surveys because he changed his favorite musical artist too. as you said, just writing down whatever the fuck without a thought in the world. probably didn't know what to put for favorite movie and had to ask will what he was putting, then the next time he filled out the survey just panicked and wrote miracle. kept hawaii 5-0 though. that one stayed consistent. honestly that's one of the funniest answers here.

also look at that FACE!!

sorry had to go to look at will's answers and look at all these matches with leno - bruins, home alone, bbq chicken except will apparently spelled it with all caps and leno didn't. CRYING that will picked new girl as his favorite tv show 😭😭 imagine the fights over who got to pick what to watch.

and of course, baby will:

[moondoggiestyle]

@impatientlyscarletstructure okay you're right john was drafted in 2018. i was thinking he hadn't yet signed with them and should have said that, but then i checked his elite prospects page and realized by the 22-23 season he had actually already been traded to the predators.

anyway realized i'd only checked the 22-23 season of leno's bio, so out of curiosity i looked up what leno's said from 21-22 season to see if it was different and OH!

his favorite team WAS the sharks until they TRADED HIS BROTHER so he resorted back to the bruins?? also did he seriously put himself as his favorite nhl player surely he meant his brother 😂😭

again for comparison, here's will's from 21-22:

bruce springsteen??? i'm fascinated

[jaesawalth]

nhlhistory The ultimate Bruin 🐻 // Patrice Bergeron’s No. 37 will be retired by the @/nhlbruins in the 2026-27 season!

ig 26.6.18 (pt. 1)

[nosefacekillah]

Happy 15 years since the Bruins’ iconic Stanley Cup celly tab at Foxwoods

[loserdudes]

Patrice Bergeron.

Hockey Hall of Famer.

[workingforitallthetime]

6/25/26

[bergeronprocess]

OBVIOUSLY (check the username lol) I HAVE BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS

[cokehead-zeroed]

i am not rich enough for this to even be a factor in my life but can ANYONE explain airline miles on credit cards to me

[gilliebee]

replacing doom scrolling with watching ed kastelic fights, very beneficial to my mental health 😌

[snoopyoftheday]

snoopy of the day

[local-crow-on-a-powerline]

said "can you calm down or do you need a leash" to a horny guy and i instantly realized it worsened the situation

[litafordvsferrari]

me at boston down will smith hockey wearing kn*cks gear:

[somewhatinvested]

i love to play around with the idea that trevor thinks they're normal bffs and jamie knows that they're one lapsed judgement away from real gay shit